Category: Family and Society

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Stories Around the World, Work

To Explore the Sky

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.” Confucius

During the annual regional inter school cultural festival, one of the eagerly awaited events was the “prose recital” contest. One of the new entries in the middle school level was none other than my niece who made her first debut this year. Although she loves poetry and was selected through the school competition, this entry was an impromptu choice. Given her innate manner of being on the quiet side, her entry was in response to the challenge of being labelled as a mouse by her classmates. When the call was made for the participants at school level, she had enrolled her name. Whether it was for avoiding the labeling or improving her confidence onstage, this opportunity had opened the door to her hidden talent at declamation.

“We’ll never know our full potential unless we push ourselves to find it.” Travis Rice

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Reflecting back on the entire episode, one finds themselves in similar situations across the various stages of life. Whether it is the professional, academics, family or personal life; we are limited by the lines we set internally in our minds. For the introvert who may have a hidden talent at playing music or the extrovert who is the life of a party may be an excellent writer. While the former has to acquire the confidence to face the crowd; the latter fears the label of “nerd”. Living in their insecurities, their hidden gifts may be wasted over time. These are just two of the many scenarios that one may be able to recollect, feel or relate to.

“Find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.” Deepak Chopra

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Choosing to break the set mould and soar high is no simple feat. Barriers are there at each and every level. Be it lack of time, innate fears, insecurities, the diatribe of words around oneself, criticism, comments or snide remarks; they all come as we move on and ahead. Yet as long as one believes themselves and knows their true talent, keeping the inner flame alive and strong; the rest all are just flies to be swatted, avoided or ignored. No one can stop the person who really wants to explore their talent. Confidence and courage will come along the way, when the innate self-belief and assurance stays strong. If not for the latter, the eagle would never learnt to soar high. Be oneself, find oneself and test their own limits to know own potential. Don’t fit yourself in the label made by others. Find your own niche and grow the hidden potential. Take courage and fly.

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

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A man found an eagle’s egg and put it in a nest of a barnyard hen. The eagle hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them. All his life, the eagle did what the barnyard chicks did, thinking he was a barnyard chicken. He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked and cackled. And he thrashed his wings and flew a few feet in the air. Years passed and the eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird above him in the cloudless sky. It glided in graceful majesty among powerful wind currents, with scarcely a beat of its strong, golden wings. The old eagle looked up in awe. ‘Who’s that?’ he asked. ‘That’s the eagle, the king of the birds,’ said his neighbour. ‘He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth – we’re chickens.’ So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that is what he thought he was.
(Author unknown) (African American folktale)

What would have happened if the running eaglet decided to fly to sit on the coop rafters? What would have happened if the eagle was taken out of it’s surroundings and given a chance to fly ? What would have happened if the eagle tried to mid flap in it’s adult life and found the courage to try and see the effect, instead of listening to the remarks around it ?

“Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.” Richard Bach

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World, Work

Ignite the Spark

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Potential is a priceless treasure, like gold. All of us have gold hidden within, but we have to dig to get it out.” Joyce Meyer

Trying to reason with a preschooler or a primary school child isn’t easy. When the word “no” appears in any manner, directly or very subtly, the effect and chaos created is quite remarkable. For instance, telling a toddler to not climb and sit on the table as he may pull the tablecloth and spill the milk may sound like a challenge. After trying to give many more reasons or distractions, the best way out as few of us parents have discovered is the way through. That is, spoil the fun of the climb by lifting him on to the table, distract and then take him to the sturdy outdoor table for a climb. At times, these similar “way out” may be a better alternative than the screaming, mutinous expression and tantrums courtesy of the “essential no’s”.

“To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.” Mary Oliver

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One of the innate elements of children is their ability to experiment and do things different. While handling the antics of a toddler, one is reminded of how similar techniques may have to apply while reasoning with adults. Whether they be siblings, extended family, friends, neighbours or even colleagues, motivating or reasoning out with someone involves a wide range of means to get the point across. From scientific reasoning, display of facts to emotional cajoling and threatening ways in order to change of a set thinking or behaviour may be attempted. Some ways may work, other don’t.

“We can see through others only when we can see through ourselves.” Bruce Lee

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Among the better ways to incite a change in attitude, behaviour, manners or thoughts; is to stimulate their curiosity, project out the possible sequence of events and excite their sense of accomplishment. The challenge to change is half done when one realizes how important the change is, in order to be a part of something great. To quote the words of Antoine de Saint-Exupery,”If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.” By exploring their dreams, aligning a little bit of it to the bigger goals and stimulating their interest, the potential of what can be achieved when the right changes are made, is immense. When the true and just vision of one person joins with similar dreams of those around him, it isn’t just the society that becomes better but life in general, becomes more beautiful, meaningful and of purpose.

“There is no man living who isn’t capable of doing more than he thinks he can do.” Henry Ford

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There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He would not be quiet, no matter what anyone else said or did. Various attempts were made to do something about the child. One person told the boy that he would, if he continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums. This reasoning was too advanced for the child, who was neither a scientist nor a scholar. A second person told him that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be carried out only on special occasions. The third person offered the neighbours plugs for their ears; a fourth gave the boy a book; a fifth gave the neighbours books that described a method of controlling anger through biofeedback; a sixth person gave the boy meditation exercises to make him placid and docile. None of these attempts worked. Eventually, a wise person came along with an effective motivation. He looked at the situation, handed the child a hammer and chisel, and asked, ‘I wonder what is inside the drum?’ No more problem.
-Author Unknown

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Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Random Thoughts

From the Past, To the Present

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.” Psalm 46:1-3

Driving back to my ex-workplace, courtesy of a regional seminar to attend; there was a sense of wonder at how things have shaped over the past few months. On the first outlook, any change from the comfortable zone always involves a trepidation of whether the choice made, is the right one or not. Besides the fear of the loss of the routine, the loss of control on the outcome is what discourages any movement out of the comfort zone. The unfortunate part about opportunity is that, one will never know it till they try.

“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” Psalm 9:9-10

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In those moment of doubt and fear, the best options is put our trust in the Lord. As one prays and gives their best efforts, the rest things will fall in line. Like seasons that change, live will move forward. Before any life changing decisions, one does list the pros and cons. Yet at times, it mayn’t be enough. If one steps and sees that things weren’t in the right place, don’t stop but continue the efforts. With prayer and grit, eventually things will fall into place. For His Love and His Mercy is true and endures forever.

“For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.” Psalm 63:7

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I Told You
Ella Wheeler Wilcox

I told you the winter would go, love,
I told you the winter would go.
That he’d flee in shame when the south wind came,
And you smiled when I told you so.
You said the blustering fellow
Would never yield to a breeze,
That his cold, icy breath had frozen to death
The flowers, and birds, and trees.

And I told you the snow would melt, love,
In the passionate glance o’ the sun;
And the leaves o’ the trees, and the flowers and bees,
Would come back again, one by one.
That the great, gray clouds would vanish,
And the sky turn tender and blue;
And the sweet birds would sing, and talk of the spring,
And, love, it has all come true.

I told you that sorrow would fade, love,
And you would forget half your pain;
That the sweet bird of song would waken ere long,
And sing in your bosom again;
That hope would creep out of the shadows,
And back to its nest in your heart,
And gladness would come, and find its old home,
And that sorrow at length would depart.

I told you that grief seldom killed, love,
Though the heart might seem dead for awhile,
But the world is so bright, and so full of warm light
That ‘twould waken at length, in its smile.
Ah, love! was I not a true prophet?
There’s a sweet happy smile on your face;
Your sadness has flown – the snow-drift is gone,
And the buttercups bloom in its place.

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

Eyes That Watch Us

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Children learn more from what you are than what you teach.” W.E.B. DuBois

As the little toddler grows up in the family, certain mannerisms and phrases have been coming along too quickly for his age. From putting into place a cushion seat for his tiny legs during the allotted television time to aligning his shoes, experimenting with his father’s hair gel and picking up phrases of “Wipe your feet”, “no phone during meal times” and the like; highlights how much more they learn as they watch and observe the adults around them.

“What we are teaches the child far more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become.” Joseph Chilton Pearce

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As time flies, being parents or guardians of these little wonders, one never realizes how much they significantly imbibe more from the world around them, than what they have been taught in the kindergarten or later even in school. Like the old adage goes, family is the first teacher of a child; the little things that children pick have an immense effect on their future. Whether it be the physical, emotional, mental or social aspects of their life, parents and elders are their first educators.

“Children or babies learn to mimic the vibration of the adults who surround them long before they learn to mimic their words.” Abraham-Hicks

For adults knowing this matters the most; for this silent teaching is what determines the future of those little ones. The errors of the present would require a huge effort in the future to be corrected then, instead of now. Realizing this significance in the present would shape their future thinking, behaviour and character. Time will always go ahead as always. Let the present memories not be those of regret and guilt; but treasured ones as they move ahead in their future lives.

“Your children will see what you’re all about by what you live, rather than what you say.” Wayne Dyer

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When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favourite cake for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don’t.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn’t feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it’s alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I learned most of life’s lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, ‘Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.’

– Mary Rita Schilke Korzan

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Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings

“They still Smile”…

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” (John 14:1-4)

Meeting these little smiles on a Saturday afternoon ( as a part of the weekend voluntary community service) taught me a lot about life, His Grace and happiness. Attached to the hospital, along with the regular hospitalized patients, in association with the local NGO, there was a small home set up for the cancer patients ranging from the elderly and the few enrolled children, meant for their regular chemotherapy and minor hospitalizations. The purpose was to avoid them being cross infected by the general population. Spending an afternoon with them teaches one about the real essence and gifts of life.

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“The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” (Romans 8:16-17)

Despite the pain of the disease and the load of chemotherapy, the smile on their faces especially the little ones, never wavers. For them, the disease is indeed a part of their life but it doesn’t rule them. From engaging in their activities of school lessons, music and learning new skills of art and the like; their days aren’t lost in cribbing about their state of affairs, finding fault with life and God. Instead the spirit of resilience is seen in their approach to life. In comparison, it shames one when thinking about the usual grumbling at own lives, at the workplace or even within.

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Interacting with the caregivers too, one learns a lot from their quiet acceptance to the strength that radiates from within. On seeing the suffering and the pain of their wards, along with the lost years of life can result in any parent or guardian being depressed, loosing hope in His Faith and dwelling in the negativity. Yet they face all those, come out from the bouts of depressing thoughts and conquer the storm within; so that their children can have their happy moments in life. While certain things may never change, the way we live in the present matters the most. No one ever knows the entirety of His Plan, but what one does know is that His Hope, His Grace and His Love is sufficient to survive in the world of the present.

“Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.” (Isaiah 58:8-9)

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, Stories Around the World, Work

Share to Succeed

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“People achieve more as a result of working with others than against them.” Dr. Allan Fromme

With clearing of the heavy rains, the town had needed a complete revamp of the municipal bock lawns, with tree limbs broken and scattered and muddy pools run all over the lawn. On the first look, clearing of the lawn seemed to be an impossible task. As the council meeting took place, every one of the attendees had pitched in, bringing more volunteers along the way. Slowly order was restored of what had looked like a seemingly impossible task.

“The power of one, if fearless and focused, is formidable, but the power of many working together is better.” Gloria Macapagal Arroyo

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Above instances and many more similar ones, have always shown that the power of a team or set of people working in a synchronous mode can make the most drab, mundane or difficult task feasible. Each one has their own strengths and weakness. On pooling the efforts, the strengths add on, cancelling out the respective weakness amongst each other. Eventually together the task at hand is settles. While man is an social animal; each one has their own plate to handle. Learning when to combine the plates together for a splendid meal and when to have them independently at the right time, helps to balance the individual mind with the social order. Life needs both, individual as well as group effort. Too much of wither can result in proper gain of none or loss of all.

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much” Helen Keller

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The Stone Soup Story
Many years ago three soldiers, hungry and weary of battle, came upon a small village. The villagers, suffering a meagre harvest and the many years of war, quickly hid what little they had to eat and met the three at the village square, wringing their hands and bemoaning the lack of anything to eat. The soldiers spoke quietly among themselves and the first soldier then turned to the village elders. Your tired fields have left you nothing to share, so we will share what little we have – the secret of how to make soup from stones.’

Naturally the villagers were intrigued and soon a fire was put to the town’s greatest kettle as the soldiers dropped in three smooth stones. ‘Now this will be a fine soup’, said the second soldier; ‘but a pinch of salt and some parsley would make it wonderful!’
Up jumped a villager, crying ‘What luck! I’ve just remembered where some’s been left!’
Then off she ran, returning with an apron full of parsley and a turnip. As the kettle boiled on, the memory of the village improved: soon barley, carrots, beef and cream had found their way into the great pot, and a cask of wine was rolled into the square as all sat down to feast. They ate and danced and sang well into the night, refreshed by the feast and their new-found friends.

In the morning the three soldiers awoke to find the entire village standing before them. At their feet lay a satchel of the village’s best breads and cheese. ‘You have given us the greatest of gifts – the secret of how to make soup from stones’, said an elder, ‘and we shall never forget.’ The third soldier turned to the crowd, and said: ‘There is no secret, but this is certain, it is only by sharing that we may make a feast’, then off the soldiers wandered, down the road.
Author Unknown

“Happiness quite unshared can scarcely be called happiness; it has no taste.” Charlotte Bronte

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Maintain the Balance

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.” Confucius

Of recent, few multinational companies have been allotting compulsory leave days for their top employees. These few days after every four months or so, come with a half pay and an order not to be seen in the company premises for either completing the new projects, clear the back log or develop new ideas. The whole idea was to “take a break” from the professional life and grow the personal one. In a way, these organizations have done this so as to increase the employee productivity as well as better the general work efficiency on the whole.

“No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” David O. McKay

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When a young adult enters the modern career world, the importance is laid in establishing a good professional life, earning good money and save for the future. As time goes on, one may start a family or become a part of one. Being social beings, we crave for close relationships and bonds as thick as blood. Yet once family and friends arrives, certain things may be taken for granted; especially time spent with the latter. When one realizes the error soon, time may be left to pick up the broken links and rebuild them.

“In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time.” Dieter F. Uchtdorf

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In the process of rebuilding, the metal once scarred or bent mayn’t be as strong as it looks. For the builder it involves immense effort to re-link the chains as compared to when building in flow with the fresh meta links. While wealth, riches, fame and materials are necessary for the social or professional order in life; it is the close knit web of family and bonds that help one to heal, grow, nurture and flourish away from the outside world. As one nurtures or is being nurtured by the family, the children of tomorrow are minor extensions of today. These inquisitive minds learn more from actions and deeds than words. In order to live life to the fullest, learning to balance the entire framework of professional as well as personal life is what brings fruit to the former. Time is always there to reform as long as one decides to put their priorities and focus in the right manner.

“The single most important factor in our long-term happiness is the relationships we have with our family and close friends.” Clayton M. Christensen

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‘So now you have a farm, two houses, and four cars, correct?’ asked Marcelo. Ivan nodded. ‘Well done!’ Marcelo smiled amicably to his old friend. ‘And what else have you got? A master’s degree from University of Chile, a good and stable job, and what else? Money, ah, how much money have you got? More than a hundred million pesos, I suppose?’
Ivan did not reply, but his smile meant a ‘yes’ to all of the questions. ‘And with all of these in your hands, you’re still the first to arrive at work and the last to leave, yes?’ For the second time, Ivan nodded. ‘For how long?”Three years and a half.’ ‘Oh, poor Ivan Espinoza,’ Marcelo sighed. For a moment he stopped talking. The conversation that previously was filled with laughter and jokes suddenly turned itself into a deep silence. Marcelo gazed over Ivan and tapped his right shoulder tenderly. An air of confidence was transpired from the light of his eyes, despite his graying eyebrow. ‘My friend, did you see that table?’ ‘Yes,’ Ivan glanced to a table next to them. ‘How many legs?’ ‘Four’
‘If you break one of the table’s legs, will you have a balanced table?’ ‘No’
‘So is life. It’s got four legs: education, money, a job you love, and a family you adore. If you break one of life’s legs, you will have an imbalanced life,’ remarked Marcelo. Sighing, the man paused for a little while before continuing. ‘Now you have a good job, money, and proper education, but you don’t see your children except when they are asleep before and after work. Is that a balanced life? You work for your family, don’t you?”Yes.’
‘So why do you work so hard but spend less time with them?’
Written by Subhan Zein

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