Category: Family and Society

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Work

Restrain these “Feelings”

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Delays not informed on time. Incomplete reviews and assessments. Incorrect information when collected and submitted. Snide remarks by colleagues, peers, juniors or seniors.

Regular parking spot occupied. Litter thrown on the sidewalk next to home. Incessant traffic queues caused by vehicles cutting in between. Grocery carts all used up and none empty. Regular groceries out of stock.

Socks on the floor. Dirty dishes in the sink. Laundry done with all colours mixed up. Bed not made. Toys all scattered on the floor. Mud tracks into the hall and kitchen.

One may be faced with some, few or similar situations as above, wherein the temperament has been sorely tested and one is struggling to rein in the anger and bitter words of resentment. In fact. these kinds of “irritation” is quite common. Each one of us at some point of our lives may have faced them, in some manner or the other. While the temptation to lash out and vent the bitterness, frustration and anger bred out the irritation is compelling; little do we realize the ramifications of indulging in so.

“The one who cannot restrain their anger will wish undone, what their temper and irritation prompted them to do.” Horace

 

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Irritation in fact is one of the manifestations of bitterness, discontent and underlying pride or expectations that one’s words will always be followed. While “irritation” at times may be justified or understandable, keeping it in check will reveal the true character and personality within. If truth be told, with constant irritability, we devalue our work.

“I get irritated, I get upset. Especially when I’m in a hurry. But I see it all as part of our training. To get irritated is to lose our way in life.” Haruki Murakami

Each one of us has their own share of trials, misfortunes, difficulties, struggles, insecurities as well as stress. All the talk of love, kindness and humaneness is lost, unless one learns to understand and accept the differences of the other. What makes one different is when we learn to control the “irritation”.

” As a human being, anger is a part of our mind. Irritation also part of our mind. But you can do – anger come, go. Never keep in your sort of – your inner world, then create a lot of suspicion, a lot of distrust, a lot of negative things, more worry.” Dalai Lama

 

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Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Controlling the irritation when one is over worked, stressed and trying to meet deadlines isn’t easy. But once we learn to breathe and let go; the next time it won’t be difficult to do so. In fact, that’s how one gets the hang of de-stressing the mind and not letting inconsequential things affect it. Even though things may go out of hand, getting irritated would never help. Instead facing the problem ahead and outlining the solution does wonders.

“If someone irritates you, it is only your own response that is irritating you. Therefore, when anyone seems to be provoking you, remember that it is only your judgment of the incident that provokes you.” Epictetus

The best memories, things or even feelings of life are never easy to attain if we constantly hang on to the emotional stress at each point of time. Learning to be gentle, less expectant as well as more patient will weed out the “irritation”, helping us to reduce the dreary days as well as the turbulent negative that may completely swamp us. Life is simple, once we learn to chose the most important things that it offers us.

“If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?” – Rumi

 

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Photography Art, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Learn to “Notice”

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Very often, when rushing for the next appointment or meeting, we often hunt for the needed items of the hour, but fail to notice the rest, like the fact that the main laptop power switch was on, the colleague next door was on leave or that the driver of the car parked nearby was having abnormal movements, most likely that of an early stroke. While these details may be excused when overlooked while in a hurry, the mind has become accustomed to seeing what it wants to see. Sadly with the rise of modern era, one of the most frequently lost out art is the power to observe and notice the details.

“To acquire knowledge, one must study;
but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.”
-Marilyn vos Savant

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Are the other details important ?

One of the most common feelings that often swamp one are the feelings of regret, guilt and lost opportunities. Unfortunately all these can be avoided by observing the details that may seem unimportant then, but later becomes vital. Time is one factor that will never wait. Besides it’s always the details unasked but observed that make the difference, build and sustain relationships or clinch the idea as well as effect the change.

“Do stuff. be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration’s shove or society’s kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It’s all about paying attention. attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. stay eager.” Susan Sontag

The observations made by one will be reflected in their words, actions and thoughts later, many a time unknown to them. While we may miss them out at times, learning to look for the bigger picture will help us prevent regrets and fatal errors. Hindsight is a keen thing. Once we reflect back and retrospect and learn from the errors, the more progress we can make ahead in our lives. Each day, hours and minutes of observation are lessons as well as occasions to make our life worth living and making memories to treasure.

“I think that my job is to observe people and the world, and not to judge them. I always hope to position myself away from so-called conclusions. I would like to leave everything wide open to all the possibilities in the world.” Haruki Murakami

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Once a teacher said to his student: ” Look around you, and then tell me all the white objects.” The student looked around. He saw a white ceiling, walls, white window frames, a tablecloth, curtains, book covers and many other things.
“Well, Now I want you to close your eyes and name everything in this room that is yellow,” said the teacher. The guy was at a loss: ” But how can I answer you, I did not notice anything!”.
– Now open your eyes and see how many yellow things here !!! Yellow pillows, a yellow frame with a photo, a yellow pencil stand, a yellow rug …
– “But it’s not fair! You yourself told me to look only for the white color,
but there was not a word about yellow!” – the student was indignant.
– That’s what I wanted to show you! You focused and searched for objects of only white color, but did not notice the others.

“Never trust to general impressions, my boy, but concentrate yourself upon details.” Arthur Conan Doyle

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

Facing the Day Ahead

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Love yourself. It is important to stay positive because beauty comes from the inside out.” Jenn Proske

One of the most difficult tasks face especially when juggling between career and family is enjoying life along the way. One of the common scenarios faced in many homes  from dawn to dusk, includes checking off each activity off the list as a part of the routine job, making sure that everything is on time as per the schedule and above keeping things together. Along the way, the worries build up, stress accumulates and one is always constantly “at the list or schedule” looking for the next thing to do.

Source:https://vk.com/monahos
Source:https://vk.com/monahos
Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Many a time, we fail to enjoy the atmosphere at home, with family or even at work. Consequently we often fail to enjoy the happiness which is silently waiting at hand. Balancing is never easy, which is why unless we stick a few facts into our minds, living each day would be in a mundane manner, unknowingly breeding the stress within and cutting off our chances in living life as well as cherishing time and making moments and memories.

“Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.” Earl Nightingale

Source:https://vk.com/monahos
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Mistakes do happen. No one is perfect in each and every walk. Know this and let go. Try but enjoy. Worry but don’t overdo it. Give effort, time and God a chance.

Time is precious but so are memories. Spending time with loved ones may mean incomplete yard work or laundry done late or the like; but decide and prioritize. Few things in life that always run it’s due course irrespective of anything is time and age. They always go on.

Schedules do matter, but hand in hand with priority. Going to work on time, making our children reach the school on time and getting for the day as well. Yet prioritize and plan ahead. While one may make leeway for delayed or extra time, it mayn’t happen. Then improvise and modify. Getting stressed, losing the presence of mind or ranting and grumbling never works out. In fact, we lose more time and add to the inherent stress; not solving anything but adding to it. Stay calm, breathe and think. Life will go on.

” Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Source:https://vk.com/monahos
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Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Let’s live, love and wonder,
Let’s believe, remember and regret,
From happiness to cry, laugh heartily
Let’s live, so as not to grow old in our hearts.

Let’s just admire the Fields,
the sky, the silver of the dew,
And if it is difficult, still do not give up –
Go ahead without lowering your head.

Let’s be sincere in communication,
Honest in words, deeds and deeds,
Let’s believe, holy, without doubts
To live in vain, openly, not in dreams!

Let’s honestly admit
In your mistakes, envy and lies,
Let’s live, love and admire –
Spread your wings with your soul!
– Rus Svyataya

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World, Work

“Dreams” Grounded in “Reality”

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

As children, one of the most common essay topics was to write about what we wanted to do in our lives, our dreams, aims and visions of our lives in the future. Ranging from being an astronauts to travelling around the world or being a chef or baker par excellence, the possibilities were endless.

“Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.” Lao Tzu

 

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As we grew older, practicalities marred by realism as well as distractions and disappointments tempered by changing dreams set in. Along the way some changed their dreams, few lost them and some of us held onto them. As we nurtured the dreams and made them big, at times we lose the touch of reality and get dejected by the disappointments and setbacks. Life always has its’ own curve-balls that it often yields. It’s how we tackle them that makes one’s dream grow strong and live on.

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” J.K. Rowling

Very often, the dreams of childhood are like the sandcastles, that we build as children. As we strengthen the fortress with walls and moats, having most fun by building and creating with sand; deep inside one knows that eventually everything has the possibility of being washed down by the sea. Though one knows that all can be gone with a wave, we still build the sandcastles on the beach, for that is the fun of playing with the sand.

“Dream becoming reality runs like water between the fingers.” Willem Elsschot

 

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Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Likewise when dreams are there deep inside, one should try to make them come true; nurturing them slowly, not losing hope, letting them build their roots strong, knowing that all dreams do come to an end or branch out in a different turn. Doing so will help us face life, so that as and when life takes it’s due course, one stays happy within both in the heart, mind and soul. Dreams are meant to be build and strengthened, but unless one enjoys the process of building and living the dream, there’s no point in chasing them.

“When you have a dream that you can’t let go of, trust your instincts and pursue it. But remember: Real dreams take work, They take patience, and sometimes they require you to dig down very deep. Be sure you’re willing to do that.” Harvey Mackay

 

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Just as the child on the beach building life size castles becomes an engineer in real life. However on growing up and living the dream as an engineer or builder by career doesn’t merely involve juggling paperwork, new assignments, delegating the work or signing new contracts and raising new projects as well empires of financial investment, profits and capital gains; but also to enjoy the art of building them. Instead one is often submerged by the amount of stress, financial hurdles or losses as well practical constraints; such that one forgets to enjoy the gift of home, family, relationships, joy, life and talent given to each one of us. On building dreams, staying grounded in reality helps one to not only to achieve them better but aids to live life to the fullest in the process.

 

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On a warm summer day at a beautiful beach a little boy on his knees scoops and packs the sand with plastic shovels into a bucket. He upends the bucket on the surface and lifts it. And, to the delight of the little architect, a castle tower is created. He works all afternoon spooning out the moat, packing the walls, building sentries with bottle tops and bridges with Popsicle sticks. With his hours of hard work on the beach a sandcastle will be built. In a Big city with busy streets and rumbling traffic, a man works in an office. He shuffles papers into stacks, delegates assignments, cradles the phone on his shoulder and punches the keyboard with his fingers. He juggles with numbers, contracts get signed and much to the delight of the man, a profit is made. All his life he will work. Formulating the plans and forecasting the future. His annuities will be sentries and Capital gains will be bridges. An empire will be built.

The two builders of the two castles have very much in common. They both shape granules into grandeurs. They both make something beautiful out of nothing. They both are very diligent and determined to build their world. And for both, the tide will rise and the end will come. Yet that is where the similarities cease. For the little boy sees the end of his castle while the man ignores it. As the dusk approaches and the waves near, the child jumps to his feet and begins to clap as the waves wash away his masterpiece. There is no sorrow. No fear. No regret. He is not surprised, he knew this would happen. He smiles, picks up his tools and takes his father’s hand, and goes home.
The man in his sophisticated office is not very wise like the child. As the wave of years collapses on his empire, he is terrified. He hovers over the sandy monument to protect it. He tries to block the waves with the walls he made. He snarls at the incoming tide. “It’s my castle,” he defies. The ocean need not respond. Both know to whom the sand belongs.

“Go ahead and build your dreams, but build with a child’s heart. When the sun sets and the tides take – applaud. Salute the process of life and go home with a smile.”

 

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings

Finding “Nemo” and Oneself Too…

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Dory: Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down do you wanna know what you’ve gotta do?
Marlin: No I don’t wanna know.
Dory: [singing] Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
Marlin: Dory, no singing.
Dory: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho. I love to swim. When you want to swim you want to swim.
Marlin: Now I’m stuck with that song… Now it’s in my head.
Dory: Sorry.
– From “Finding Nemo”

One of the perks of being an avid animation movie fan in a household of toddlers is that one gets to indulge in them more often with a guilt free mind. For weekend movie nights, it’s a tussle between kids’ and parental choice. Last weekend was “Finding Nemo” (2003), the plot centers around Marlin, an overprotective ocellaris clown fish who along with Dory, a regal blue tang search for Nemo, his son who was abducted. Their journey takes them all the way to Sydney Harbour. Along the way, Marlin learns to take risks and comes to terms with Nemo taking care of himself.

“Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes.” Hugh Prather

Source:https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Two-Disc-Collectors-Albert-Brooks/dp/B00005JM02
Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts
Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

With it’s classical funny dialogues and realistic as well as artistic animation scenes, for the toddler’s mind it was three hours of joy, music and fun. What went through the adult mind was two central themes of taking life as it comes as well as finding oneself. On a personal front, this animation feature had set the mind thinking. Among the underlying messages and emotional undercurrents, few of the thoughts that were highlighted include taking life as it comes, with risks and all; as well as finding oneself among the responsibilities. Additionally for the parental conscience, it includes guiding the fledglings to find their own call, to watch over  them but not to hound or be too over protective in any manner.

“It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.” Lucille Ball

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Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Following the norms of society, culture, tradition and patterns of life; while on the journey we often neglect to take risks and allow for personal growth and betterment. At times, one gets the opportunity to rectify and take the risks to follow the dreams. Over and over again, it may not be so and one follows the set pattern, often falling into a rut and mundane existence. Instead of always living in conformity to the said rules of society; one should take the effort to attempt and risk, to do what one loves and believes in. If one does so in the true and honest manner, “Finding Nemo” would be akin to a quest of finding oneself, their dreams and hopes; not a journey in vain.

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.” Mandy Hale

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts
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Source:https://www.amazon.com/Disney-Pixar-Finding-Nemo-Busy/dp/2764324626
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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Words Worth “Weight in Gold”

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it all into words is all that is necessary.” Margaret Cousins

As part of developing work etiquette as well as relationship skills within the workplace, there was an assignment given in one of the workshops where in each one of the ten participants were supposed to list and write anonymously the most difficult colleague to work with among them. In the second phase, the requirement was to write one quality that one could remember well about that person and anonymously the paper was handed over to them. Two weeks later, the feedback was collected about the change in the relationship with that same person. much to the surprise of the psychologist conducting the session, the dislike wasn’t there as much as before with the workshop. Besides the relationship between the colleagues as well as the workplace atmosphere had improved as per the ratings scale.

“Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.” Northrup Christiane

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Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that among the many things that man craves, one of the most common, but less talked about are “the feeling of being appreciated.” The person who delivers the daily paper, the cashier who bags the groceries in an efficient and neat manner, the waitress at the deli who brings us the lunch order quickly or even the bus driver who patiently waits for us to board the bus with the groceries, shopping and toddler in tow, are few of the many people that silently help us in the daily life. While most of their behaviour is a part of the service they provide us; it does take time and patience to do any task diligently.

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust

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Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

While we may silently acknowledge, saying those words out loud will bring a positive feeling not only towards them but within ourselves too. One of the gifts that we humans have been blessed with is the skill of communication. What better way is there to use that and exchange words of appreciation that lifts up those around us?

“Being told something positive about yourself, whether from someone you’re close to, or a passing acquaintance, should really lift the spirits. Just the fact that someone has taken the time to let you know, should have you feeling noticed and appreciated.” Paul Bailey

While one shouldn’t wait to earn them; when one feels that what has been done for them is good, express the gratitude by sharing the feelings as kind words. It’ll go a long way to lift up the moods around for each one will never know the complete story of the other person. Do one’s bit and spread good cheer and kindness around.

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” Voltaire

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Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
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“I DIDN’T KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ME SO”

Once, a math teacher from Minnesota gave the students the following task: to make a list of the class, think what you like most about each of your classmates, and write down this quality opposite his last name. At the end of the lesson she collected lists. That was on Friday. Over the weekend, she processed the results and on Monday handed out to each student a piece of paper on which all the good things her classmates noticed in her were distributed. The guys were reading, here and there whispering was heard: “Is it all about me? I didn’t know that they love me so much.” They did not discuss the results in class, but the teacher knew that she had reached the goal. Her students believed in themselves.
A few years later one of these guys died in Vietnam. He was buried at home in Minnesota. Friends, former classmates, and teachers came to say goodbye to him. At the commemoration, his father went up to a math teacher: “I want to show you something,” he took out a folded sheet of paper folded in folds from his wallet. “It was obvious that he had been read and re-read many times. – It is found in the things of the son. He did not part with him. Do you recognize? “
He handed the paper to her. It was a list of positive qualities that classmates noticed in his son. “Thank you so much,” his mother said. – Our son so valued it.
And then an amazing thing happened: one by one, classmates took out the same sheets. Many always kept them in their wallet. Someone even kept them in their family album. One of them said: “We all kept these lists. Is it possible to throw it away? ”
– Gary Chapman, “Five Ways to a Child’s Heart

“Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life and you’ll find that you have more of it.” Ralph Marston

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Musique, Stories Around the World

Of Summers and Picnics

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Although “eating outdoors” may have been a part of civilization since the beginning, the concept of enjoying a picturesque relaxed lunch were in fad post French revolution (1789) when the royal parks were opened to the French public. This concept saw a gradual evolution with hunting parties, Renaissance era country feasts and Victorian garden parties, especially the latter as grand occasions complete with tables, chairs, linens, crystals, catering and gourmet food to top it. Known as “pique-nique” (France, 1794) then, this event turned out to be a social calendar earmarked occasion, catching the trend across Europe and became officially known as “picnic”.

The tales of Robin Hood are one of the first accounts of picnicking when Robin with his band of Merry Men would dine informally under the shelter of trees. The concept of “picnicking” once started had caught on with picnic societies, long picnics as well as “picnic fashion” and “themed social picnics” being created. With International Picnic Day today (June 18th) and to get the most reluctant picnic goers out there, here are a few picnic trivia around the world to get one started.

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To have a superb picnics with cushions, rugs and furniture, one would have to go to Turkey, where the trend was initiated. Along with comfort, games and string lighting; a potluck-style selection of stuffed veggies, grilled meats and desserts are often brought. Towards nightfall, picnics still going on turn into bonfires complete with music, dancing and raki (Turkish licorice-flavored alcohol).

Enjoying the National Picnic Week held each June in Britain, it would be incomplete without the Scotch Egg. One of the most iconic picnic foods created towards the late 18th century, these fried sausage-wrapped boiled eggs were easy to be eaten on the road. Other choices like pasta salad, fish and chips, potato salad, deviled eggs, cheese, brownies, cookies, sandwiches, subs and many more form form the huge list of picnic foods which taste good when served cold.

Picnics in the French outdoors especially Bastille Day involves fine dining especially as far as wines are concerned. Plastic cups spoil the flavour and aroma of wine with fresh air. On a personal front, keeping plastic to a minimum and enjoying reusable Tupperware will make the outdoor dining more enjoyable and nature safe.

To enjoy Christmas picnics, the Argentinian beaches would be good place to start. Holidays outdoors are celebrated complete with roasted or barbecued turkey or goat. Going north, Americans enjoy picnics specially on the Fourth of July where along with competitive races, three legged races and other picnic games; speed eating contests of pies, watermelons, burgers and the like have become the major “game attraction”.

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Source: https://www.myfussyeater.com/cheats-sausage-rolls/
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Source:https://vk.com/forestsilence

While cherry blossoms or “hanami” announce the Japanese picnicking season; the Italians prefer Easter Monday, known as Angel’s Monday or Pasquetta as picnic time. One of the most iconic picnics was the Pan-European Picnic (August 19, 1989) where picnics were held with hundreds of East Germans grabbed the opportunity to cross into Austria. Weeks later Hungary had opened the border, the Iron Curtain had been breached, and on 9th November the Berlin Wall came down. While croquet, soccer, and badminton are common picnic games; kubb is a regular game in Denmark, Finland and Sweden. This lawn game is a mix between bowling and chess, where players attempt to knock over wooden blocks called kubbs with wooden batons.

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Source:https://yardgames.com/products/kubb-game-premium-set

With the great outdoor weather, it would be remiss to lose out on the opportunity to go back to childhood, capture the bliss of the summer skies and comfort food, while finding peace in the midst of nature. The only catch is to enjoy, being nature safe and eco-friendly. As the best things of life are captured by moments and memories; the essence to living is to make more and enjoy them too.

“If you go down in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise
If you go down in the woods today, you’d better go in disguise
For every bear that ever there was will gather there for certain
Because today’s the day the teddy bears have their picnic

Every teddy bear who’s been good is sure of a treat today
There’s lots of marvellous things to eat and wonderful games to play
Beneath the trees where nobody sees they’ll hide and seek as long as they please

That’s the way the teddy bears have their picnic “

….The Teddy Bear’s Picnic by Henry Hall

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