Category: Family and Society

Posted in Christian, Daily, Family and Society, Life, Reflections

“Situational Awareness” From Within

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“This is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight.” (Philippians 1:9)

With the long weekend off from work and the longing to go somewhere new, the whole joint family, with grandparents, children and all of us “working adults” found ourselves onward to the nearest hill station for an impromptu getaway. While exploring the national parks, wildlife boat rides as well as the mini treks, the constant checking if everyone was there, paying attention to those around us as well as what was going on. Today on reflecting the events of the past few days, the realization of how we were all silently practising the art of “situational awareness” had come as a surprise. The sad truth is the time such that the world we live in; it isn’t safe anymore.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5)

 

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The concept of “situational awareness” has been drilled into military, law and order as well as defense to be their second nature. Yet with changing times, the more we see or hear of the current scenarios, the gravity and need for “being awake and alert” with every situation from a very young age arises. the everyday life demands that the consideration of the complexity of people, relationships, bills, jobs and responsibilities. One needs to have an innate awareness of their surroundings no matter how engrossing the task at hand may be or whether one is in a hurry. Even if cellphones are at hand, earphones on or if one is prepared; unless one stays awake, alert and aware, things may go out of hand.

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? ” (1 Corinthians 6:19)

 

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Situational awareness doesn’t exist based on physical, social or emotional front alone, but also on a spiritual level. Going downhill may take only a few moments, the struggle lies in going upwards and in the right way. The honest, true and just way is never easy. To fall into traps, snares and temptations along the journey in life can happen in a single moment, yet the ramifications can be huge, irreversible and regrettable. Which is why constant renewal of faith through His Word is necessary in these times.

“When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.” (John 16:13)

Prayer should echo the desire for increasing discernment with respect to the who, what, where and why of the situation. Going to the extreme of “being aware” would result in a load of worry, skepticism as well as unrest within. Instead seek His Word, His Wisdom and Guidance so as to remove the blinders from our eyes and see the complete picture around us. The best way of living would be when our lives springs from within with the awareness of God. Doing so would enable us to be “situationally aware” at all fronts of physical, social, emotional, mental as well as spiritual levels. Each one is given one life to live. While chances may be between few or many, it’s how we change situations or use them while being “alert and aware” is what matters the most. Just like time can never be reversed, life goes on always.

“Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him.” ( Proverbs 26:4)

 

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Do we need these “stickers” ?

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“Be a good human being, a warm hearted, affectionate person. That is my fundamental belief.”  Dalai Lama

A car ahead was moving like a turtle and not giving me way in-spite of my continuous honking! I was on brink of losing my cool when I noticed the small sticker on the car’s rear!
“Physically challenged; Please be patient.”
And that changed everything!! I immediately went calm & slowed down!! In fact, I got a little protective of the car & the driver!!! I reached home a few minutes late, but it was ok! And then it struck me. Would I have been patient if there was no sticker? Why do we need stickers to be patient with people!? Will we be more patient & kind with others if people had labels pasted on their foreheads?
Labels like “ Lost my job” , “Fighting cancer”, “Going through a bad divorce”,
“Suffering Emotional abuse “, “Lost a loved one”, “Feeling worthless”,
“Financially broken” and more like these!!
Everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about. The least we can do is to be patient ,kind & compassionate. Let us respect the Invisible Labels !!!????
Have a Great day.

-CA Devanand Jethanandani ( Read more at: https://www.caclubindia.com /forum/ let-us-respect-the-invisible-labels-461171.asp )

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This was one of the posts that had popped up on one of my social network services. Reading the above message had set me thinking for quite some time. The underlying question that the author had asked, “Do we need “stickers” to remind us to be human, empathetic and compassionate” continues to remain unanswered. Very often when stuck in traffic jams as well as the regular traffic, the car in front of us holds labels so that the driver behind remains aware of the situation within the vehicle at front. More as a precaution, these stickers help all to remain safe and above, to practice patience and stay calm on the road. Keeping them will save a number of lives. For putting the fickle nature of man into perspective, not everyone will take heed of caution or realize that their actions will have a drastic, immediate consequence on others’ lives.

“We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity; more than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.” Charles Chaplin

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When the society reforms to be the Utopian concept of being compassionate, patient and obeying the laws, keeping the calm and staying sane; then no reminders are needed to stay safe. To reach this, each one should respect the other, their struggles and practice a little patience laced with kindness. Although this may sound simple, this is quite a remarkable feat to achieve remembering the practical difficulties as well as the innate fickle and impatient human nature. Yet to try and fill each day with love, kindness, compassion and empathy would be good, for one never knows which day, hour or moment is going to be their respective last.

Keeping the very fragile aspect of life in mind, trying to change for the better would make the journey and time in this world more fulfilling leaving us both happy and satisfied.

“Each of us must work for his own improvement, and at the same time share a general responsibility for all humanity.” Marie Curie

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Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections

The Path that We Take

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“A trap is only a trap if you don’t know about it. If you know about it, it’s a challenge.” China Miéville

Likewise, a mistake can be an error by chance or circumstantial, but once that error becomes “by choice” it ceases to be a regrettable error but a moral transgression or “sin”.

Being human, man is prone to making numerous errors through each stage of life, from childhood to adulthood and old age. While in the early years, clear boundaries between the right and the wrong were learnt, mistakes were bound to happen. Many a time, they were overlooked primarily because of the fact that the involved was a child; with the error being more of a part of learning, misunderstood or “not knowing”.

“Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts.” – Nikki Giovanni

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As one progressed through the “teenage years” to that of youth, “errors” were considered as misguided or misjudged acts, more of immaturity or being misconstrued. While a slap to the wrist was common, society didn’t look down unless the crime was heinous in nature. Simply put, second chances were often given.

“What is done cannot be undone, but at least one can keep it from happening again.” Anne Frank

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Fast forward to the mature adult stage, mistakes are still there. Yet the approach differs from being careless to sincere regrets and attempts not to let them happen again. For when mistakes become a habit, they are no longer known as “mistakes” but as “sin”. Once caught in this trap, it’s always easy to fall again and again, on one pretext or the other. Little do we realize how harmful it is, to fall into these traps which may seem small at that time, but have the consequence of a land mine. In addition “sin” doesn’t affect us alone, but also the world around us; even for those who are indirectly involved with us. While it’s human to make mistakes; it isn’t human to continue the trend of “repeated sins”. Learning this will help avoid the boomerang that life will throw us into as a consequence of the actions that we “throw” around.

“A clean shod man carefully goes around the dirt, but once he stumbled, he dirtied his shoes, he was already less wary of it, and when he saw that his shoes were dirty, he was already boldly slapping on the mud, getting dirty more and more. Similarly, a man from his youth, while he is still pure from bad and depraved affairs, takes care and avoids everything bad, but once he makes another mistake, he thinks: beware, do not beware, everything will be the same, and it will be launched into all vices.
Do not do that. Soiled – wipe, and be more careful; sin – repent, and more beware of sin.” – L.N. Tolstoy “The Way of Life”

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Seeing through “Piper’s” Eyes

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“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.” Aldous Huxley

As a part of restricting “media-time” for my toddler, an allotted period of one hour is given for viewing any “smart screen” device. Being too small to understand complex cartoons, the tastes range from the all-time favourite of “Mickey Mouse”, to “Tom and Jerry” among the few that he likes. Yet once in a while, animation movies feature in the list, especially over the weekend. Last week it was “Piper”, the Oscar Animation Movie Winner (2018) which though lasted for around three minutes carries a wealth of meaning.

“Miracles happen everyday, change your perception of what a miracle is and you’ll see them all around you.” Jon Bon Jovi

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This short animation film revolves around the dog who when accompanying his master on the morning fishing trip, chases away a heron who tries to repeatedly snatch the worms stored as bait in the can. After the successful attempt of chasing it away, the dog watches as it flies back to its’ nest of three young kids where its’ small young ones refuse to feed on the “hard” fish and are crying for “soft” food. With understanding and compassion on its’ face, the little dog offers an entire ball of worms to the stork. A little while later, the dog is startled when the fish is being dropped on the deck by the heron. Realizing that the numerous fish caught in the heron’s beak is for them, in return for the kindness shown earlier, both the dog and the master are elated with the morning’s outcome.

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” W.B. Yeats

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Highlighting the concept of “humaneness”, this movie brings to light how the “real life” may actually differ for one person, when another views them as a “nuisance”. Each one of us have their own set of struggles everyday. Some will receive help, others will not. Few will use the help the right way, while the rest may waste it away. With varied sets of worries wearing one down, no one can be viewed as “bad” unless given a chance to “reform” and set things right.

Humanity does matter, for there in lies the core of man’s social co-existence and inner peace. When one opens the doors of humanity, one realizes that the “shades of gray” do colour the world and set a different picture from what was initially perceived. Each one of us need to give others’ a second chance and deal with others’ with humanness; for one day when we are in despair or in a downfall, we may need it too. As we learn to practice the art of humaneness with patience, fortitude,  love, kindness and hope; the chain of events started off will make a difference for the better in the lives of those around us too. 

“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro’ narrow chinks of his cavern.” William Blake

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Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

The “Atmosphere” Around Us

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Once a wise man was asked: “How can you recognize a good man?”
The sage replied: “This is not what he says or what he seems to be, but the atmosphere that is created in his presence. That is what evidence is. For no one is able to create an atmosphere that does not belong to his spirit.”

In the daily, once-in-a-while or chance encounters in our life, there are numerous people that we meet. Like the colleague from another department whom we meet when at lunch once in a while or the acquaintance at the gym or at the coffee shop line up whose times match ours and so on. The list is endless. Yet some people stay on in our minds. While these people may have done something remarkable, friendly or not; their presence is noted by us and at times we look forward to those encounters. What makes those “chance encounters” significant ? May be its’ because we like to meet them or they remind us of ourselves or simply put, it may be because of the aura or atmosphere around them.

“People are sent into our lives to teach us things that we need to learn about ourselves.” Mandy Hale

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Each person has a presence about them, reflecting their state of mind. When one is happy, we spread the happiness. When one is constantly plagued by troubled thoughts and insecurities, the “feel” around us would be one of “worries”. Likewise this “feel around us ” is what others perceive. We reflect ourselves around.

“It is when you lose sight of yourself, that you lose your way. To keep your truth in sight you must keep yourself in sight and the world to you should be a mirror to reflect to you your image; the world should be a mirror that you reflect upon.” C. JoyBell C.

Whether is it really important to concern ourselves with ” the atmosphere” we create, is a matter of perspective. In today’s society, life has innumerable opportunities and chances. Yet by constantly blocking them with the “negative vibes” around us would cause more regrets and lost “chances” down the lane. When a person has a good feel around them, spreading the happiness; we internally learn to deal and overcome the sorrows that we hold. Life is not always a cup of tea. Even for the “most rich and bountiful” it holds true in some aspect or the other. Just as no one is perfect, a person with a really perfect life is an abstract thought or reality. Each one has their own share of difficulties; but whether we chose to carry them like a “heavy bucket” along with us or learn to use them to “water other opportunities” in our lives; is in our hands. The choice is always one’s own.

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“Unless you learn to face your own shadows, you will continue to see them in others, because the world outside you is only a reflection of the world inside you.” Unknown

More than words or emotions, it’s the vibes around us that stay on. We need “happiness” to live life with serenity. The “vibes” we create, tempered with kind thoughts, honest words and sincere actions, goes a long way in giving the “good feel” within us. The latter is what goes around and helps us in the quest of finding as well as living with happiness.

“The journey into self-love and self-acceptance must begin with self-examination… until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.” Iyanla Vanzant

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes

Of Skies, Clouds and Serenity

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“It is the individual who knows how little they know about themselves who stands the most reasonable chance of finding out something about themselves before they die.” S. I. Hayakawa

The perils of being an adult with a large family, primarily involves lack of alone time for oneself. Either a homemaker or an employer or employee, the hours and days are swallowed up by work, commute, schedules or basic activities for the daily sustenance. As the weekend approaches, eagerness slowly occupies the mind for the possibility of some self time. On Sunday mornings, post church and Sunday luncheon, there’s nothing more blissful than packing up the household, with kids, pets and essentials for a quick trip to the fields, park or even the far reaches of the gardens and lying under the shade of the trees with the noon sun throwing it’s rays. For parents, the lazing around brings around some much needed quiet and downtime with nature and her elements calming the chaos within. For children it’s freedom to explore what nature has hidden.

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” Henry David Thoreau

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Finding oneself and refreshing the spirits may be difficult but not impossible as one long as one makes time and takes advantage of the options at hand. Nature has the best cure and healing approach for the chaos that man often lands into. While a trip to the distant lands for a long break may be somewhere on the bucket list and not feasible for the present, taking time off within the presence of nature of today may be a viable option. The days of summer, vast fields and green lawns often brings to mind the beauty of daffodils. While carpets of yellow daffodils may be absent in the tropics, the greenness of nature calms the soul and brings rest to weary minds and souls. After all, nature is God’s way of telling us to rest and let Him shoulder the burdens of the day.

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“When we were in the woods beyond Gowbarrow park we saw a few daffodils close to the water side, we fancied that the lake had floated the seed ashore and that the little colony had so sprung up – But as we went along there were more and yet more and at last under the boughs of the trees, we saw that there was a long belt of them along the shore, about the breadth of a country turnpike road. I never saw daffodils so beautiful they grew among the mossy stones about and about them, some rested their heads upon these stones as on a pillow for weariness and the rest tossed and reeled and danced and seemed as if they verily laughed with the wind that blew upon them over the Lake, they looked so gay ever glancing ever changing. This wind blew directly over the lake to them. There was here and there a little knot and a few stragglers a few yards higher up but they were so few as not to disturb the simplicity and unity and life of that one busy highway – We rested again and again. The Bays were stormy and we heard the waves at different distances and in the middle of the water like the Sea.”
—Dorothy Wordsworth, The Grasmere Journal Thursday, 15 April
(Wordsworth ed. Woof (2002) p. 85)

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Posted in Christian, Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Stories Around the World

Of the White Handkerchief

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” We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

Many of us, during our school or college days, may have those “friends” who were a part of needless teasing and mocking group who had often made days miserable, troublesome and quite depressing, in those times. Fast forward years later, when emails and contact with them were kept to a bare minimum or ignored to prevent emotional setbacks, thinking of those days. Suddenly out of the blue, a phone call or an appointment with the very same people who were directly or indirectly involved then. Will it be within each one of us to forgive them or not ? The old adage, “let bygones be bygone” may sound simple; but when faced with reality, it will never be easy.

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“13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)

As life and time teaches us again and again; there would be nothing good in fostering the hatred, regrets or dark memories. While those may have happened, it’s how we move on ahead that matters.

” 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” ( Ephesians 4:31-32)

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On abetting the bad memories, we often lose out on enjoying and gaining our own happiness in life. When one part of us says, “forgive and move on” and the other holds us back with “the memories”; learn to chose the right one.

” 3 So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” ( Luke 17:3-4)

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All of us have been bad in someone’s books; which we may or mayn’t know about. When given a chance or opportunity to “do good”, do so without letting the memories of “what has happened with them” keep us from doing the right thing. We all need forgiveness from somebody at some point of our life, be it at the resent, in the past or the future. As life and the scriptures teach us, unless we learn to hold the olive branch; no one will lend us one or share the one in our hand. Above all what goes around, comes back to us; so despite all the setbacks and disappointments or dark memories of people, be kind, forgive and do good; if not for their happiness but for our happiness as well as one’s own peace of mind.

“25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:25)

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White Handkerchief

Freed from imprisonment, he returned home by train. The railway ran through their native places, and approaching its station, it would certainly pass by its native home. But the closer the house came, the more restless it became in his heart. It was hard for him to realize; how much grief he brought to his parents.
Despite the fact that the separation lasted for many years, he loved his parents and dreamed of meeting with them. The fact that he often neglected the love of his parents was even more his than the crime he committed.
He was not at all sure whether they would accept him at home or not. Therefore, he wrote home a letter in advance asking; hang a white handkerchief in the yard if parents are ready to take it. If the scarf will not …
However, the closer the house came, the stronger the heart beats. The house is still far away, but he does not take his eyes off, looks intently into the distance, to the place where people endlessly close to him live.
They are waiting for me at home, or I, the outcast, have to roam the world; for many days these thoughts have not given him peace.
As slowly as this train goes, it seems that it deliberately intensifies its suffering with its slow speed.
And in the distance they appeared at home. Soon will be his home. There is a white handkerchief in the courtyard of the house or not …
And suddenly … tears gushed from his eyes. He saw his home and yard, which was covered with large white sheets … ( Translated from Russian)

This above story may have been shared with similar versions across the world, either by word of mouth or in some forgotten book or been told an acquaintance or friends as “real stories” to those known by them. Maybe this story is one of those that emerge every few years, told new in one form or another. Even though the setting and the people may shift; the message endures. The feeling that it did happen, somewhere and at sometime helps one to believe int he spirit of forgiveness as well as the kindness, love and humaneness of man and society.

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” Bernard Meltzer

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