Family and Society – Page 30 – Sugar And Spice… Among Other Things

Christian, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Reflections, Work

Anxious to Spill

Posted on April 11, 2019February 7, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.” Charles Spurgeon

One of the worse things of happy times and days when everything goes as per the plan, is the niggling sense foreboding that something bad is going to happen. The problem arise most when we are doing well, yet one doesn’t understand how is it so and we often look for an excuse and cause for concern. One thinks of what will happen in a few years, after the exams, when children attend school or when the economy takes a turn for the worse. Worse of all are the thoughts of what will happen when one dies suddenly, about the events after, especially for loved ones, family, spouse, children, inheritance and life in general.

“The truth is that there is no actual stress or anxiety in the world; it’s your thoughts that create these false beliefs. You can’t package stress, touch it, or see it. There are only people engaged in stressful thinking.” Wayne Dyer

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Anxiety is a painful condition often invented by man. Consequently we age ahead of our time; torturing ourselves as well as others with our wandering thoughts, imagination, speculations and scenarios that have yet to happen. Learning to put them to rest and submit our concerns to God, time and Faith will limit the “constant anxiety” which tries to pull us down and bind its’ chains around us.

“Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.” Henry Ward Beecher

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

What we very often fail to remember is that our life is a gift from God above. Every second and minute is precious. So worry about each problem or issue once and as they come. For each sequence of events can turn out to be different, many a time, beyond our control. Try not to make our mind overrun with one’s imagination based on the present, for that alone is to blame for the scenarios in the mind that are invented, drawing from events that haven’t yet happened. There is a fine line between imagination and discernment. Learning to distinguish between both will help us enjoy the happiness that the present day life offers.

“My anxiety doesn’t come from thinking about the future but from wanting to control it.” Hugh Prather

Source:https://vk.com/we_live_a

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Source:https://vk.com/we_live_a

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“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:26-27).

Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Photography Art, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Stepping Out of the Game

Posted on April 10, 2019January 25, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.” John Burroughs

There lived two families in the neighborhood. In one family there was silence and grace, while in the second there were endless quarrels, showdowns etc. And then one day the wife said to her husband, “Why don’t you find out how they next door, turn out to live without scandals.” The husband went and hid behind their common fence and watched. As the neighbor washes the threshold, a bucket of water stands next to her and then her husband walked. Inadvertently he hooked his foot on the bucket and overturned it. “Well, it will start now,” thinks the neighbor behind the fence. Instead he heard the wife as she apologized to her husband that she had put a bucket of water in the way. And her husband also apologized to her for he had walked without looking and also added work to his beloved. In general, they apologized to each other, cleaned up everything together and went into the house. And the hapless neighbor came home in bewilderment and told his wife: “You know, my wife it is strange, we try to do everything right and have endless scandals, whereas they are both to blame and everything is amicable”.

“At the end of the day, you are solely responsible for your success and your failure. And the sooner you realize that, you accept that, and integrate that into your work ethic, you will start being successful. As long as you blame others for the reason you aren’t where you want to be, you will always be a failure.” Erin Cummings

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Famously and colloquially known as “the blame game”, we all have been a part of it at some point in our life. From the high school days of incomplete assignment, low grades or addled performances to the college or university days, leading on to the work front; assigning of blame to someone else’s shoulders have been done consciously or subconsciously.

“Everyone’s quick to blame the alien.” Aeschylus

Like the spider’s web, once we get caught in this game; we tend to apply the same tactics in all the spheres of our life. Consequently the price paid is heavy, for not just effort but energy, work, relationships and above all, time is wasted. To get the trend down, a few quick steps would aid in sorting out and settling the mess.

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

“No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for… reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration.” Casey Stengel

When stuck in the mess or being falsely targeted for the work; first take a deep breath. Second were we in any way wrong, either while doing the task or assigning the task. If yes, take corrective measures; if not, still the option is to settle the scene and correct the wrong. Third and very practical of all, let bygones be bygones. Learn form the past, but don’t dwell too much on it, to spoil the pleasant surprises of the future.

“Don’t find fault, find a remedy.” Henry Ford

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

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Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

To Just Stay

Posted on April 7, 2019February 21, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” Maya Angelou

One of the reasons’ why man needs his social surroundings be it family, friends or community is largely based on his ability to love and be loved. Here the aspect of love doesn’t focus solely on the relationship between two people, but between a network of people whose happiness are directly or indirectly influenced and dependent on the other. For “love” encompasses kindness, understanding, mutual respect, forgiveness and empathy.

“Love is a friendship set to music.” Joseph Campbell

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Source:https://vk.com/welive_a

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

One never realizes the intricate role that he or she may play in the life of the other. While it may seem trivial or a passing touch for one, it drastically change the life for the other. Learning to be gracious and kind is one of the facets of love. Love isn’t simply declared by showering of gifts, spending time with only those one knows or granting favours sometimes beyond one’s reach. Love also includes just being there and listening.

“The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” Albert Ellis

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

While doing the preparatory lessons on the aspect of biblical love, I had read an encounter based on events in the hospital room of a retired service man. What struck my mind on reading “Love Stays” was the fact that “human love” for the fellow being goes beyond boundaries, imagination and guidelines set by man. Even though for one it may be trivial and require very little effort and time on their part, for the other it would be a life changing moment. Choosing to spend our time with love, kindness and empathy would go a long way, especially when one knows that life has a boomerang effect, when we least expect it.

“And now these three abide: faith, hope, love; but love is more of them.”
(1 Corinthians 13:13)

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Love Stays

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. “Your son is here,” she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened. Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man’s limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement. The nurse brought a chair so that the marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night, the young marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man’s hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital – the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.
Now and then, she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night. Along towards dawn, the old man died. The marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited. Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her. “Who was that man?” he asked. The nurse was startled, “He was your father,” she answered. “No, he wasn’t,” the marine replied. “I never saw him before in my life.”
“Then why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?”
“I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn’t here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.”
The next time someone needs you … just be there. Stay.

Note: This is not a true story, but an incredible work of fiction written by Roy Popkin in 1964. It was published under the title “Night Watch” in the September 1965 edition of Reader’s Digest. Due to its highly emotional pull, the story has been re-circulated online since the 1990s under a variety of titles such as “Just Stay” and “He Needed a Son.”

“Everyone has a purpose in life and a unique talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.” Kallam Anji Reddy

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Source:https://vk.com/comeshome

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Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Reflections, Stories Around the World

From One’s Perspective

Posted on April 6, 2019January 19, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

The Minister travelled for days by train and car and boat to one of the furthest islands in the nation. As he surveyed the bleak but inspiring landscape, he turned to a local villager and said: “You’re very remote here, aren’t you?” She responded: “Remote from what?”

The scenario of the glass being half empty to half full, or the grass being green on the other side; have been faced by most of us at some point of time or the other. The common thread of thinking running through these moments is “our perception and the reality of what happens”.

“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.” Aldous Huxley

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Perspective has been one of the concepts, since the early days, which has been studied and attempts have been made to quantify or qualitatively assess it by mathematicians, philosophers, scientists as well as artists. Despite all the theories proposed, research as well as insight; till this day perception doesn’t exist by itself but leans heavily on our innate beliefs, opinion, experience and knowledge.

“No man has the right to dictate what other men should perceive, create or produce, but all should be encouraged to reveal themselves, their perceptions and emotions, and to build confidence in the creative spirit.” Ansel Adams

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

While one’s perspective may be right for some, it may be wrong for the other. Then the question arises, how do we draw the limits or the line? The practical aspect is possible as long as we ground ourselves in reality and lean on the principle of “to do unto others as one would want to be done unto oneself”. Simply put, as long as we learn to treat others with mutual respect, equality, freedom, justice, kindness and understanding; all the perspectives would reach the common target and purpose of doing good.

“What I need is perspective. The illusion of depth, created by a frame, the arrangement of shapes on a flat surface. Perspective is necessary. Otherwise there are only two dimensions. Otherwise you live with your face squashed up against a wall, everything a huge foreground, of details, close-ups, hairs, the weave of the bed-sheet, the molecules of the face. Your own skin like a map, a diagram of futility, crisscrossed with tiny roads that lead nowhere. Otherwise you live in the moment. Which is not where I want to be.” Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Photography Art, Quotes, Reflections

Of Butterflies, Spring and Change

Posted on April 4, 2019January 12, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

With Spring in full force, the fields become rich with various hues and shades of colours; leaving behind carpets and patches of vibrant flowers. Amidst this mosaic of colours, few winged beauties are seen in the landscape, adding a potency, luster and liveliness to life; never ceasing to amaze man with the marvels and wonder of God’s creation. Come spring and summer, the focus is on the winged patterned coloured “Rhopalocera” species, more popularly known as the “butterflies”.

“As with the butterfly, adversity is necessary to build character in people.” Joseph B. Wirthlin

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

In grade school, we had studied the life cycle of the butterfly from the caterpillar stage. From a grubby sickly green or brown coloured caterpillar, emerged a magnificent winged delicate specimen of sheer beauty, design and style; though this happens only after the caterpillar undergoes its’ own struggle and transforms. No matter how young we are or how old we become, the delight of a butterfly still holds true, then and now.

“There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.” R. Buckminster Fuller

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Nature teaches us many lessons from the life of a butterfly and here a few pertinent ones that has been observed. First is to be open to change and transformation. From the ugly scrawny state to the winged stage, developing in its’ own chrysalis and then breaking out on own helps develop the wings of courage, beauty and honour. As the story where the caterpillar was helped goes, the butterfly never survived but crumbled down.

“Adding wings to caterpillars does not create butterflies. It creates awkward and dysfunctional caterpillars. Butterflies are created through transformation.” Stephanie Pace Marshall

Source:https://vk.com/veruj

Second, butterflies never chose to focus on fame and glory. They are pretty not vain, instead they go about the flowers, quietly displaying their colours and spreading happy vibes. They delight in their surroundings embracing each new change as they come, not sticking to one zone but exploring each day as it comes.

“Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” Nathaniel Hawthorne

Source:https://vk.com/veruj

Third and most important is to carve one’s niche for oneself. For a caterpillar to transform, it needs to wrap itself in the silky shroud of chrysalis and go through the change. The caterpillar does it alone, embracing the quiet to think and then under the metamorphosis. The journey in our life too is mostly ours. Though we do delight in the company of others; each one has their own inner struggle to overcome and new horizons to brave. What might be easy for one, mayn’t be so for other. Yet to learn to accept others’ as well as to change oneself for the better, is an art of life and pre-requisites for staying alive and happy.

“The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.” Rabindranath Tagore

Source:https://vk.com/veruj

We all have our own allotted time in this world. For some of us, along the journey; losses became too many and gains too few. Nevertheless, things will work out eventually. For like the butterfly, time allotted is less but learning to work as well as enjoy the flowers alone will happen once we build the courage to move on. We are all butterflies in the making. When its’ time to fly, remember to use the wings we were blessed with after our change. The world has its’ own share of butterflies among the fireflies, moths, ladybugs and the rest; and we will learn to belong to one when the time is right as long as we believe we can.

“Everyone is like a butterfly, they start out ugly and awkward and then morph into beautiful graceful butterflies that everyone loves.” Drew Barrymore

Source:https://vk.com/sideshowarts

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Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Like A Child’s Love

Posted on April 3, 2019January 12, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Just imagine becoming the way you used to be as a very young child, before you understood the meaning of any word, before opinions took over your mind. The real you is loving, joyful, and free. The real you is just like a flower, just like the wind, just like the ocean, just like the sun.” Don Miguel Ruiz

Children are simply beautiful. Interacting with children all day long, one is always fascinated by the numerous expressions, emotions they undergo, the innocent laughter and their mischief. A child’s love is always untainted at heart. Unfortunately as they grow from toddlers to adolescence, we adults and collectively society as well as media influences them, such that they lose their own selves and plunge into the niche that society carves for them. As parents, it is difficult to fight against this phenomenon as this has become the way of life and children will eventually grow, evolve and develop. Which is why, the growing years of a child are the most precious ones for parents and guardians.

“What it’s like to be a parent: It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love.” Nicholas Sparks

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

The concept of unconditional love is witnessed very often through parenting. A child’s love is never labelled nor constrained. In their very early years, their unblemished minds and hearts have no limits or barriers or categorization on their love, kindness and care. A child’s reasoning mayn’t be understood by adults. Yet as we wait to see the turn of events, one realizes that their acts of childhood are always based on their untainted guileless love and kindness. To be like a child, is a gift for the mind, body and spirit.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Lao Tzu

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

“Some time ago, a man punished his young daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became angry when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the girl brought the gift to her father on Christmas day and said, ‘This is for you, daddy.’
The man became embarrassed by his overreaction a few days before, but his rage continued when he saw that the box was empty. He yelled at her, ‘Don’t you know, when you give someone a gift, there’s supposed to be something inside?’
The little girl looked up at her dad with tears in her eyes and cried; ‘Oh, daddy, it’s not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They’re all for you, daddy.’The father was devastated. He put his arms around his daughter, and begged for her forgiveness.

A little while later, the girl died in an accident. Her father kept the gold box by his bed for many years and, whenever he was feeling down, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.”

“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” Victor Hugo

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, poetry

Hues of Being Modern

Posted on March 31, 2019December 31, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Recent generations seem to consider ‘old-fashioned’ thinking as out-dated and without place in the modern world. I beg to differ. After all, who has greater faith? He who looks to and learns from the past, or the man who cares not for consequence?” Fennel Hudson

For those of us who come from large families or with children especially may have encountered at some point of time, the constant tussle between “the modern” way of today versus “how it used to be during our days.” While one generation struggles to keep up with “the modernism” and “technological advancement” trying to keep the “value system” in check; the other generation fails to discern the reality and foresee the bigger picture of the future.

Change is the end result of all true learning. Leo Buscaglia

As society evolves, change is imminent, inevitable and needed. Yet as we progress and “modernize” ourselves; losing sight of true values, moral sense of ethics and conforming ourselves into what we really are not; doesn’t constitute a “good” change. One can always change for better or for worse, it’s up to us to decide how to go about it. Despite all the “modern way” of today, keeping core values of basic humaneness, truth and kindness would make life less depressing, more meaningful and enriching.

“The modern mind is in complete disarray. Knowledge has stretched itself to the point where neither the world nor our intelligence can find any foot-hold. It is a fact that we are suffering from nihilism.” Albert Camus

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

I am old-fashioned … I like dresses to the heels,
Honor and shyness, and medicine without bribes …
Good songs, gifts with their own hands …
Feelings forever and, of course, wedding in the temple …

I am old-fashioned, and the role of the business-woman is alien to me …
I choose not the benefit … True friendship.
I can not judge by the amount of currency …
Heaven is always grateful for days and minutes.

I am old-fashioned, I read prayers at night …
In them, I ask health to all the kids and mother.
I do not go to restaurants and clubs are cool …
I watch the night stars shine …

I am old-fashioned, I like chamomile in the field …
I believe in love, from which I feel goosebumps.
I know that a strong man is not a “deceitful macho” …
I’m not ashamed of tears in my eyes from emotions …

I’m old-fashioned … I can’t find silicone …
To believe, to love and to forgive is above new laws …
Fashion dictates … But I am free from dictations
I am hopelessly happy … I’m old-fashioned …

Irina Samarina-Labyrinth