Posted in Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

When Measured By the Same

“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.” Malcolm Forbes

All of us have our own set of scales to assess people. Interestingly what we don’t realize is that the way we measure others and declare that they don’t meet up to the mark, would astound us when we try to measure ourselves by the same scales. Our existence in this world reflects on the balanced act of how we treat others as well as the standards by which we set ourselves to live by. For both to be synchronous to attain a harmonious and peaceful existence, one would need to remove the beam from one’s own eyes before removing the mote from the eyes of others. For the shame in oneself when the scales are reversed will be disheartening and tragic.

“If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” J. K. Rowling

The wife of a poor man was cooking butter, and he was selling it in one of the groceries. His wife was cooking oil in the form of circles weighing a kilogram. And he sold them to the grocer and bought the necessities for his house. One day, the grocer doubted the weight of the oil he bought and, after weighing each circle, saw that they weighed 900 grams. He was angry with the poor man. The next day, when the poor man came to him, he met him in anger and said to him, “I will not buy from you anymore, because you sell me butter, saying that it weighs a kilogram, and it weighs only 900 grams.”
Then the poor man, being upset and dropping his head said, “ We, oh my lord, do not have scales, but I bought sugar from you and made it for myself to measure, in order to weigh the butter with it.”
“Know that your measure will be measured and you!”

Posted in Family and Society, Life, poetry, Reflections, Work

For “Better” Tomorrow

“You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Many of us keep planners and appointments, sometimes a s a part of our work requirements and other times to get our work done. Not to get the context wrong, keeping planners is important for without a plan, one would be steered wrong and get lost in the chaos. Yet as life will teach us, there are certain that we can’t keep postponing or rescheduling waiting for the “better tomorrow”.

As we go about our day, keeping a continuous watch on our humaneness is a must irrespective of whether we are in a lack of time or stressed and so on. The more we make excuses, the higher the chances that things will be put off again for the “next tomorrow”. The joy of the gift of “present” or “today” is realized only when we look back at the “yesterday” from the “tomorrows” that we enter. Unless we learn to treat the relationships of today with respect, give time for oneself today and be kind now; there would be no guarantee that tomorrow we may be able to do so. Being aware of this is important as “Time” is known for its fickle nature.

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Learn from it… tomorrow is a new day.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

We think tomorrow we will be more diligent
And better, more useful, kind
Today we are rude, but tomorrow we are gentle,
After all, tomorrow we will be wiser.

Tomorrow we will see an old friend,
And tomorrow we will write to our relatives.
And tomorrow we will do someone a favor,
Not only our own, but someone else’s.

Tomorrow we will forgive each other without reproach,
And tomorrow we will understand each other.
And tomorrow we will apply the whole experience of spiritual lessons,
and will carry it out!

Tomorrow we will repent in the life of a barren
In the last death-delirium.
Dress naked, feed the hungry,
Share someone else’s need.

So in the plans for tomorrow, then hidden in the fog,
Year after year is carried away …
And what if tomorrow takes and deceives?
What if it doesn’t come at all?

Vera Kushnir

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Echoes In Us

“A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of beautiful marbles. The girl had some candies with her. The boy offered to give the girl all his marbles in exchange for all her candies. The girl agreed. The boy gave all the marbles to the girl, but secretly kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble for himself. The girl gave him all her candies as she had promised. That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn’t sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some more tasty candies from him the way he had hidden his best marble.”

Although this is a childhood tale; at some time in our lives, we would have behaved a little like the boy or the girl. For those of us who remember those moments, the niggling sense of unease fills us all, disturbing our inner peace and quiet. On occasions like these when one looks back, what comes forefront to mind is that, “Was the holding back worth it or would the peace brought by honesty made our day more beautiful instead ?”

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” Thomas Jefferson

As we grow older and mature with age, we realize that there are many things in life that are more worth when shared than kept hidden. There would be occasions that would call for an honest response on one hand, but would cause unrest and distress on the other hand. Dealing with an honest attitude is like stepping into murky waters sometimes. Brute honesty while well appreciated can cause more hurt when delivered in a thoughtless and tactless manner. Being honest isn’t confined to being brute. Instead one can be honest with a heavy dose of kindness laced with gentleness. The endpoint is the clarity of the conscience. There is nothing more disturbing that having a niggling thought intruding the mind, like a pesky buzz near the ear. As we strive to make sure that the conscience is always at ease, life becomes simple, better and sweet.

“A clear conscience is more valuable than wealth.” Tagalog (Filipino) saying

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Fruitful but Maligned

Somethings Never Change.

Returning from the workplace last evening, felt like a scene back from the high school days; with the immense relief felt when escaping the hurtful environment of words, snide comments and remarks, done on the pretext “good-natured” ribbing.

“Some people won’t be happy until they’ve pushed you to the ground. What you have to do is have the courage to stand your ground and not give them the time of day. Hold on to your power and never give it away.” Donna Schoenrock

Fast forwarding from school days to college and university and then on to the work area, these things still keep happening. Ironically while today often grievous insults and behaviours come to front; in a very large scale, bullying is still been done in a very silent manner. As children, initially when related to parents and teachers; most of the time one is told to take things in stride or to deal with it in a quiet manner. Once when things get out of hand, authorities are involved. Though by then, most damage is done. This same cycle, involving the bully, bully-victim and victim continues on through the lives of the involved.

Breaking this trend is never easy. The first start is through education both at home and school grounds, followed by neighbourhood and community. As children, the streak of cruelty and bullying varies depending on temperament, environment and influence; though school is the place where they exercise it very often. Curbing these tends and making them understand the harm caused is important.

“Words have great power that could make or break others…so please be care with them.” Timothy Pina

Recently one teacher decided to share her experience in a similar situation. Her method was very successful, so she decided to talk about it in one of the social networks; which has been posted below.

“Once, before starting classes, I went to the store and bought two apples. They were almost the same: the same color, about the same size … At the very beginning of the classroom hour I asked the children: “What is the difference between these apples?”. They were silent, because there was not really much difference between the fruits. Then I took one of the apples and, turning to him, said: “I don’t like you! You are a nasty apple! ” After that, I threw the fruit on the floor. The disciples looked at me as if they were crazy. Then I handed the apple to one of them and said: “Find something in it that you don’t like and throw it on the ground too”. The disciple obediently fulfilled the request. After that I asked to transfer the apple further. I must say that children easily found some flaws in the apple: “I don’t like your tail! You have a nasty skin! Yes, there are only worms in you! ”They said, and each time they threw an apple on the ground.
When the fruit came back to me, I again asked if the children saw any difference between this apple and the second one, which all this time was lying on my table. They were again confused, because, despite the fact that we regularly threw an apple on the floor, it did not receive any serious external damage and looked almost the same as the second one. Then I cut both apples. The one that lay on the table was snow-white inside, everyone liked it very much. The children agreed that they would have eaten it with pleasure. But the second was inside brown, covered with bruises, which we set for him. Nobody wanted to eat it. Then I said: “Guys, but this is because we made him that way! This is our fault! ”
In the class there was a deathly silence. A minute later, I continued: “The same happens with people when we insult or call them names. Outwardly, this practically does not affect them, but we inflict a huge amount of internal wounds!” Before my children, nothing ever came so quickly. Everyone began to share their life experiences, how unpleasant they were when they were called names. We all cried one by one, and then laughed together,” the teacher told her story.

“With ignorance comes fear- from fear comes bigotry. Education is the key to acceptance.” Kathleen Patel

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Cleaning the House

With the season of spring soon approaching, it would be time to give the house a thorough clean up from top to bottom sorting out the old and the new, the torn and the goo as well as removing the dirty and useless articles. The entire act of “spring cleaning” takes time to bring in the final finish of being fresh, new and neat.

“The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart.” St. Jerome

While many of us may engage in “cleaning the house” , few of us actually invovlve ourselves in the spiritual, mental and emotional cleaning. While these latter aspects are difficult to do and hence avoided, doing them would give us a fresher outlook on life.

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” Buddha

It is in these moments that I recall to mind, a story forwarded in my social network pages. It has been translated, yet the essence is “cleaning should be the best where it is the least visible”.

I remember how quite as a child I had first washed the floor in my grandmother’s village house. I had tried very hard and washed out till the boards shone in the sun. After I had completed, I had called my grandmother. Grandma came, looked and then silently went to the bed, raised the bedspread, which almost hung to the floor, knelt down and quietly called me. I walked over, sank down beside her and wondering, peering under the bed. There, among the fluffy clumps of dust and dried blades of grass, from a newly dried clover, lay my sock lost a couple of days ago.
“If you clean, always clean so that where it was not visible cleaner than anything! Good?” she asked softly.
– OK, Grandma.
Many years have passed since then and today there is no grandmother next to me. The village house is abandoned. But still, remembering my grandmother’s words, I often think of the “dark corners” of our souls and the “brilliant surfaces” of our lives, exposed. In those moments a quiet, gentle and strict voice as an audible, unearthly echo comes like my grandmother’s voice, “Well?”

Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections

After We Go

“What remains after us when we are gone? Will it be of bills, cars, apartments, houses or debts, loans, mortgages as a part of the physical aspects.” 

“What will be left after you when you are gone? Will it be memories of shortcomings, the unsaid “love”, grudges,  resentment, bitterness and pride. What will remain? Our creativity, our poems, our songs or will it be our indifference, our arrogance, our licentiousness or rumors laced with good fame or a thin reputation?”

“You make your mark by being true to who you are and letting that be your staple.”  Kat Graham

This question has seared our hearts and minds knowingly or unknowingly. For leaving a legacy behind is no easy feat. Besides requiring purpose, direction and effort; it also requires us to develop a sense of humanness to touch hearts as we journey on in life.

“What will our children say about us and what will our grandchildren remember?” For to leave behind treasured memories of love, kindness, forgiveness, laughter, vitality, hope, acceptance, generosity, sacrifice, respect, wisdom, humility, patience, faith; every day you need to ask yourself the question: “What will be left after me when I will not be?”

“All good men and women must take responsibility to create legacies that will take the next generation to a level we could only imagine.” Jim Rohn

Building a legacy doesn’t mean it is confined to family alone, but also encompasses shared memories in the minds and hearts of society, colleagues and neighbours. After our time in this world, we may not be able to carry out anything but only leave behind. While ancient civilizations practiced burying the remains with materials for after life; in reality we haven’t been able to provide scientific evidence of after life. Yet what we have is the words, actions and memories of today and yesterday for the future to know, remember and share. Wouldn’t it be better to do something today that tomorrow would treasure ? Above all, leaving behind a legacy would make our time, be it short or long; more fruitful besides being mentally, spiritually and emotionally satisfying and being content, happy and peaceful within.

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” Shannon L. Alder

 

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Work

Hearts That Support

“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.” Khalil Gibran

We all have our own crosses as well as ups and downs in life to bear. Despite the dark moments, we still manage to revive a bit of ourselves and get our footing back on track. In the process of getting up, unknowingly or known to us, we rely on select few who give us their support, strength and the courage to start again.

“I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death.” Leonardo da Vinci

They give excuses for us, when we don’t explain ourselves. They accept our shortcomings and acknowledge the apologies that we give or turn a blind eye when we neglect to ask for pardon. At our worst, they lift us up, even if that means putting our priorities first by setting theirs aside. They don’t try to flag down when they fall or ask for attention on our busy or light days. They accept us for who we are. Yet what we often fail to realize is that, these hearts are few in number and tend to fail when untended for long.

When we rise up to stand, it would do well to remember these noble hearts for they are helped us to regain ground. For in the due course of time, when these good hearts give up on us; our skies will fail to clear up and darkness will linger on. A heart doesn’t turn need much to stay warm, just a little bit of love and kindness once in a while.

“Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort.” Humphry Davy