Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Quotes, Stories Around the World

To Heart’s Content

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” Dale Carnegie

Once a lady was talking to a psychologist, where she sadly listed what she did not have. “There are no true friends. There is no good salary. No decent car. Apartments are not good. There is no youth anymore. And there is no hope to have it all someday.”  The plump, pleasant psychologist, straightened his glasses and said complacently, “Of course, you do not have much. And you can continue the list. There is no severe incurable disease. There are no millions of debts. There is no responsibility for someone, for a sick relative or a weak-minded old man. There is no physical disfigurement and no hump. And there is no disability. A lot of things you do not have. And, if you write down what you do not have, then your mood will improve immediately. And hope will appear that this is not only not, but will not.” And the lady thought in her mind counted and smiled.

So, we have a lot of things. Do not need. And everything else can be earned, improved, received as a gift or just get by temporarily. Nothing wrong. The main thing is to be alive and well. And that loved ones were alive and well. And there was no bad. And this is already good. With this, we begin, as they say, the enumeration of what we do not have … Anna

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough”  Oprah Winfrey

Many of us have been in the shoes of the lady above, where we were so caught up in the let-downs that we thought we had, forgetting to enjoy the better moments and what we were blessed with. Like the above account from one of my social networking pages reminded me, we discover the joy of living only when we learn to be content. This is no easy feat as each time we turn around or look into any direction, there would be a million comments made, comparisons and disappointments. Yet when we learn to appreciate, enjoy and thank for what we have; we realize that we are blessed in many special ways that we can’t count.

There is a fine distinction in being content or being stuck in a rut and stagnating as well as the yearning to grow. Being content doesn’t imply that you don’t desire more or than you don’t want to grow and progress; it simply means that you’re thankful for what is there at present and patiently working for what is yet to come. For contentment and happiness go hand in hand, with the latter coming to only those who appreciate and use what they have. As quoted, “Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want but the realization of how much you already have.” (Anonymous) We learn to be happy when we stop looking around. Instead when we focus our time, energy and thoughts on the bunch of “haves”, we realize that inner peace was always there within us and happiness was not lurking round the corner but residing in us all the time.

Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Stories Around the World

Countdown to Christmas

“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas;
Soon the bells will start,
And the thing that will make them ring
Is the carol that you sing
Right within your heart.” ~ Meredith Willson, “It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas”

With carols in the air and knitted stockings labelled and hung up, the countdown to Christmas begins. Tuning to the “Nine Lessons and Carols” which tells of the birth of Christ and the carol stories; carols have been an early accepted part of Christmas celebrations.

 

Derived from Old French “carole”, the word Carol actually means dance or a song of praise and joy. Although carols used to be written and sung during yer round, only the tradition of singing them at Christmas has really survived. During the early years of Christianity, the songs of the pagan solstice celebrations for Christmas were reworded with songs from the Bible. As time progressed and vernacular language of carols along with plays had set, carols gained wide popularity during the Christmas season. These days carols have become an essential part and parcel of Christmastime and a major time for meeting, singing, rejoicing, praising and celebrating.

While we busy ourselves with the songs and plays, decorating homes and trees, shopping spree, sending the express parcels and orders and wrapping presents; bringing everyone including family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances and communities together is what gives the season its’ real meaning. To quote Harlan Miller, “I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.”

 

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Firefly among the Butterflies

In a playground, a crowd of children will be involved in a game with one or two kids coordinating the game. Some days sitting a little apart, one would find a child scribbling away on a piece of paper, few would be just watching while one would be trying to climb a tree instead and the other may be watching a ladybug crawl in the ground.

Fast forward a few years ahead, among the bunch of college goers, few would shine at the events, some behind the scene to make the event happen while others watch the show. Yet there will few who prefer to curl up with a good book, or sketch their dreams and designs or enjoy creating what they fancy in the kitchen.

As the college goers grow, some become the life of the party, some become the charismatic leader who can make things happen by encouraging others to scale the wall while others enter the groups of people who follows the order so that the final outcome would be beneficial to all. And yet among all of group, there would be a few who would be silently lost in their world of books, poetry, art, animation, photography, writing indulging in what they love and glowing there. Yet if they are stuck in the mould of the world for long, the light in them dies.

“I had a dream about you last night. I was alone on a dark night and you came to me as a firefly. I knew it was you because you were the brightest.” Crystal Hudson

We label one group of people introverts and other as extroverts. Yet the author Rachel Stafford refers to them as fireflies and butterflies. She discovered these terms during a conversation with her 7 year old daughter. Her daughter had described a school activity that day where the teacher asked, “What is Your Favorite Insect?” Stafford’s daughter said that her favorite insect was the firefly even though the other students in the class chose the butterfly. She admitted to her mother that sometimes she fills different at school as a firefly. Stafford told her daughter that she agreed that her little girl was very much a firefly because she shines from within. She assured her daughter that Stafford’s role as a mother was to protect that light and asked her daughter to let her know when others at school tried to dim her light.

The world does not need a large number of “successful people” or extroverts alone. The planet desperately needs peacekeepers, restorers, storytellers, writers, dreamers and thinkers. She needs all people to live well with. There are a lot of fireflies among us, in our family and at our workplaces as well as daily interactions. The world needs both the butterflies and fireflies. Extinction of one will affect the other and surplus of one will imbalance the entire ecosystem. While fireflies will shine when it’s their time, it’s important to not kill their light.

“Don’t be anyone’s firefly in a jar! A lot of people are attracted to the light. Some are also intimidated by it. They selfishly try to keep it for themselves. Sometimes it happens so fast, you don’t even realize you’re being captured. There is magic within you that will suffocate in a jar. If you wake up one morning and realize there’s a lid above you, do whatever it takes to free yourself. Life is much better beyond the jar. The world needs your light! Shine, Baby, shine!” Sheri Fink

The fireflies among our children, family and friends have to be encouraged, cared and helped instead of being suppressed, laughed on and imprisoned or remodeled into another frame. Each firefly has their own special light or spark that brings the magic to the night and add little light to the dark. As for the fireflies out there, keep of on shining, singing and creating the special light, knowing that each courageous firefly is special with their own light and own area to shine. Remember, no butterfly can shine like the firefly.

Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Stories Around the World

String the Holly

Very gay they were with snow and sleigh-bells, holly-boughs, and garlands, below, and Christmas sunshine in the winter sky above. All faces shone, all voices had a cheery ring, and everybody stepped briskly on errands of good-will. ~Louisa May Alcott, “Seamstress,” Work: A Story of Experience, 1873

Although December signifies the beginning of Christmas festive; the setting of the holly boughs or wreaths on the door and the Christmas star on the porch signals the start of the season of love, joy and hope. The word ‘wreath’ is derived from the Old English word ‘writhen’ meaning to writhe or twist. The Romans used to hang them on their doors as sign of status or victory, or awarded during events like the Original Olympics held in Greece or worn by women at special occasions like weddings as headdresses. However the Christmas Wreaths of today may have started life as Kissing Boughs.

Before Christmas trees became popular, a more common mode of decoration at homes was “the kissing bough”. Made of five wooden hoops that made the shape like a ball ( four vertical hoops for the ball with one horizontal round the middle) were covered with holly, ivy, rosemary, bay, fir or other evergreen plants. Red apples from strings or red ribbons were hung from inside the hoop, with a candle inside the ball and a large bunch of mistletoe from the bottom of the ball.

Interestingly holly, ivy, mistletoe and the like were used in the pre-Christian era to celebrate the Winter Solstice Festival as well as ward off evil spirits. As Christianity came into Western Europe, Christian meanings were given to the “greenery”.

The prickly leaves of holly represent the crown of thorns f Christ with the red berries symbolized as drops of blood. The clinging nature of ivy to something in order to support itself signifies our need to lean on God for support at all times. In fact, sometimes a piece of ivy tied outside the church is supposed to protect the church from lightening.

Laurel worn as a wreath on the head symbolizes success and victory of God over the Devil. The evergreen of fir as well yew trees symbolize everlasting life . Rosemary also known as remembrance herb was connected with the Virgin Mary and believed to protect one from evil spirits.

Traditionally, the greenery is taken down after the Twelfth Night on Epiphany, to be packed and stored safely for the next year. Yet some homes keep it up till Candle-mas. While these traditions may not be significant for some, putting up these decorations bring a lot of cheer as well as welcoming Christmas time with a warm feeling.

“When the holly’s in the red
And the pine is in the green,
When the mornings all are frosty,
In a brilliant silver sheen
Then I love to go a’ walking
Rambling here and there, quite slow,
Plucking greenery and berries;
Wishing for a Christmas snow”
Rachel Heffington

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Driving Force of Love

“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” Victor Hugo

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman, in his 80s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry and that he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs, and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On examination, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redressed his wound. While taking care of him, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had a doctor’s appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for awhile and was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease. As we talked and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, and hadn’t recognized him in five years. I was surprised, and asked him, “And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?” He smiled and patted my hand and said, “She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.”

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Lao Tzu

When a couple starts off in their journey in life together, they slowly learn about each other, work through difficulties and despite the faults that each has, they overlook them because of love, as the latter has no limits, tally marks, check posts or boundaries. As time progresses and disease catches up with age, losing the treasured moments is disheartening for all. Yet despite the disease that strikes, the bonds of true love of one is strong enough to hold both. This story that I had read exemplifies the fact that whether true love has no time limit.

“The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is focused attention.” Richard Warren

The art of love doesn’t lie in the lone act of giving gifts or worldly pleasures. It lies in giving your time to understand the other person, what they are going through whether it be joy or sorrow, triumphs or difficulties. For the strings of love will be strong to bind both through trying times when the love grows and strengthens over time. In fact our actions speak louder than the words that we say or the words that we write, although they are important as well. Amidst the daily schedule, take out some time for each other so that you learn about each other and find some quiet time to rejuvenate, find peace and share moments as well as memories for later.

“Love is not only something you feel, it is something you do.” David Wilkerson

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Quotes, Stories Around the World

The Three Sieves

“Think before you speak. Read before you think.” Fran Lebowitz

The greatest ability that puts man apart from the rest of the oxygen dependent genres is the ability to read, write, think, comprehend and speak various languages understood with all of his kind. The gift of verbal and non-verbal communication of man is at a higher level than the rest of the living species.

“There is a time and a place for things. Sometimes one needs to put a filter on oneself. That can be a good thing.” Tori Amos

Which is why before we say something rash or simply repeat the hearsay, think if doing so is worth the time, effort, energy as well as the consequences and the aftermath. The wheel of time is such that it can be only move forward. Once a particular event has happened for good or bad, we can’t change it but only deal with it or take corrective measures.

“Speak only if it improves upon the silence.” Mahatma Gandhi

Unless we learn to sieve our words and thoughts when we tweet, speak or cast them to the world around us; we would end up with a whole load of regrets, guilt and uneasiness. It is easy to fill in conversation gaps, catch attention or be the first with the information; yet unless it is true, beneficial, required, non intrusive and kind; saying nothing is more restful to oneself and others as well.

“Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you invest, investigate. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try. Before you retire, save. Before you die, give.” William Arthur Ward

“One day, the old wise Socrates walks down the streets, when all of the sudden a man runs up to him “Socrates I have to tell you something about your friend who…”
“Hold up” Socrates interrupts him “About the story you’re about to tell me, did you put it trough the three sieves?”
“Three sieves?” The man asks “What three sieves?”
“Let’s try it” Socrates says.
“The first sieve is the one of truth, did you examine what you were about to tell me if it is true?” Socrates asks.
“Well no, I just overheard it” The man says.
“Ah, well then you have used the second sieve, the sieve of good?” Socrates asks “Is it something good what you’re about to tell me?”
“Ehm no, on the contrary” the man answers.
“Hmmm” The wise man says “Let’s use the third sieve then, is it necessary to tell me what you’re so exited about?”
“No not necessary” the man says.
“Well” Socrates says with a smile “If the story you’re about to tell me isn’t true, good or necessary, just forget it and don’t bother me with it.”
Socrates

Posted in Family and Society, Reflections

Gearing for the Holiday Season

Holidays – any holiday – are such a great opportunity to focus on bringing the family together. Lidia Bastianich

Come December, across many countries families come together, friends meet up, work schedules get hectic and team up so as to bring together the close of the year. In some places while the financial year may be of a different time frame, the last month of the year still holds a special place with schools closing for Christmas, offices, workplaces and even hospitals gearing up for some holiday cheer as well as couples, friends and families going to new places to celebrate the end of the year and welcome the next one.

I like to compare the holiday season with the way a child listens to a favorite story. The pleasure is in the familiar way the story begins, the anticipation of familiar turns it takes, the familiar moments of suspense, and the familiar climax and ending.Fred Rogers

One of the challenges of the holiday season is not to get completely lost within the web of pure commercialization with shopping sprees, parties around the clock and the whole gala of the year end. No doubt we need them too, but with the whole family and friends getting free time for the season, submerging ourselves into the consumer aspect alone is a dimming outlook. One of the essential things that we can give others is time. Take out some time this holiday season and spend it with our family and friends. Spend some time with those who we are in irregular contact with. Share your precious time with children, extended family and community so that we create good memories as well as foster our relationships for better.

Thoughts turn to other’s just a little more this time of year. Days grow shorter and memories grow longer. Families and friends gather in celebration or hope. Giving is a reflection of our love and caring for each other and those less fortunate. May your thoughts turn to gratitude this holiday season and carry on throughout the next year. James A. Murphy

For those of us who are always short of time especially during holidays, one of the best ways to free up some time is not to simply organize but prioritize as well as delegate the work. Toddlers running underfoot would love spending some time with the baking batter, cutting up dough for cookies or having fun with glitter art and paints in their play pen. Even teenagers when they opt to stay at home would help especially to make edible art and designs, put their interior designer experimentation into good use or can start on the music lists for the season, provided we encourage them to help and give them an outlet to express their creativity and energy. Getting the whole family involved is no easy feat yet the memories made would light the dark moments in our life. This holiday season, the most precious and priceless thing to spend on would be time and striving to do so would make the holidays worth the store of treasured moments.

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. Wishing you happiness.” Helen Keller