Category: Life

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections

Pillars that Nurture

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“The glory of the elderly is their insight to life.” Lailah Gifty Akita

One of the most awaited events that causes unabashed eagerness of the kids to head to the homestead during holidays, is the time spent fishing with their grandparents. Hand in hand, the kids along with their grandfather and great-uncles head off to the lake in the early morning hours. On some days, there is quite a catch but on other days maybe nothing. Yet the loss of a good catch was negated by the interesting stories and legends narrated by their elders. It was interesting to listen to the recounted versions on the drive back home or later in the following weeks. There are certain priceless things that parents can’t teach their children, at times simply due to the lack of time or different levels of responsibilities cropping up. Those are the times when the gaps are filled in by their grandparents.

“The wiser mind mourns less for what age takes away than what it leaves behind.” William Wordsworth 

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One of the benefits of having a strong support system, of family, friends and community is that when one falls, there are hands to break the fall. This support system is like a huge tree with sturdy branches. As a small tree, the few larger older branches support, shade and model the new smaller branches. With their strength and shape, they balance the entire tree, providing sustenance for the smaller branches and reach for the light. Over time the other branches grow large, join with other clusters and support the older branches. As the old branches age, grow weak, die or fall away, the branches above take over their role, supporting the new young branches. A large support system works on similar lines.

“Their dark forms are larger than life, because memories like that grow along with your body, so that adults from our childhood always resemble an extinct race of old gods, still towering over us.” Stefan Hertmans

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Unfortunately one of the strong contenders for the time of the kids, is lure of the modern entertainment. As more and more time is spent on “the modern development” of learning through applications, television, social media and the like, under the guise of “modern learning”, the memories and fresh experiences of childhood are often missed. There a lot of things that elders who have lived their lives with integrity, love and dignity can teach the younger ones. Like the experiences their parents had shared with their grandparents, from learning to fish, camp outside, have a good laugh, fun in the garden, the value of a good friendship, respect for elders and all beings, to work hard, to love and live to the fullest at each age of life. The list is long. Cooped up in the mesh of “the modern skills, media and entertainment”, a lot can be missed during the best years of childhood. All the branches of the tree contribute in a silent way. Unless each one as their role played out, the “family tree” fails to sustain and grow new fruit and saplings from it’s seeds or centuries for the future centuries.

“Where there is not community, trust, respect, ethical behavior are difficult for the young to learn and for the old to maintain.” Robert K. Greenleaf

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“Listen to your elder’s advice. Not because they are always right, but because they have more experience of being wrong…” Unknown

Posted in Daily, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Reflections, Work

Let Go and Fly

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“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.” Lao Tzu

With the turn of the weather, rains settling down a little bit and the wind picking up speed; evenings are meant for long walks. Quite often one may spot the chirping of birds as they settle for the night or the distant view of the migratory birds as they gather speed for their next lap of their journey. Before settling for the night the local birds have to find a spot to sleep in; which should be well away from the rain, wind and safe. For this, they can be found flitting from one branch to another, finding high ground perches away from the two and four legged beings who may not just disrupt their sleep but harm them. To find a new place, they need to let go of their old perch. As morning hours come, these birds wake up the world from a different perch. Unless a little bird has the courage to leave the nest, neither it won’t be able to fly, explore the different branches nor see new sights from there.

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.” C. JoyBell C.

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Like the birds that find different perches depending on their situation, one needs to find the similar courage and foresight in life to let go of the emotional branches of life that one tends to cling to. From innate beliefs, vices, negative emotions, regrets, bad memories and the like are the slippery branches where one tends to fall from. Clinging to them can prove to be unsafe and dangerous in the long run. Add to it, the feel of privileges, possessions and false safety make us stick on to that one branch, which may be well high for some time but later has been slowly breaking down and gathering rot.

“It’s hard to be clear about who you are when you are carrying around a bunch of baggage from the past. I’ve learned to let go and move more quickly into the next place.” Angelina Jolie

Knowing that the branches one clings to, stops them from fling high helps to change their respective positions and find new ground. In life, there will be times when one needs to fly, stay on safe ground or just watch the situation without a reaction. Like the birds, knowing to do what when and where, requires one to use their memories (not just cling on to them) and adapt to the situation by the right time and at the right moment.

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“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” Steve Maraboli

To experience life and their various branches, use the time to let go of the clinging perch and find the courage to fly, to higher levels. While learning to experience the new vantage points, diving headlong into trouble or danger isn’t on the list. Let go but don’t be blind. As in every experience, be the like the bird, exploring new views but keeping their eyes open, exploring their surroundings with foresight, curiosity and care. Find the strength and soar high.

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” Ann Landers

No one can drive a car with different pressures in the tyres or cover long distances with less fuel. Unless one stops to change the tyre, fill the tank; one can’t go ahead. Likewise no bird flies high looking behind. It moves forward looking below, above and straight ahead as it covers different angles through its flight. Instead of looking back, use the past experiences to fly, experience the present and shape the future.

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Of too Bad or Too Good

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It was a beautiful morning and as a large family we were heading out for a weekend getaway few towns away. What was supposed to be a three hour journey became a five hour one; not primarily due to the frequent stops for breakfast or drive breaks but as a courtesy of flat tire, a broken jack and water logged areas on the way. Although the delay was significant, the dark clouds of anger were kept at bay and heavy dose of optimism were sprinkled by both sets of grandparents. Finally on reaching the cabin, contemplating on the events of the morning; endless blame could have been laid on the spouses or nature, unfortunate timing and other equivalent terminology of “bad luck”. Instead problems were tackled as they came along and the mood of the day remained lighthearted.

“Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.” Voltaire

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Looking back on the day-to-day life, there will be countless situations wherein one may encounter negative emotions and minor setbacks, either in the daily routine or when starting off something new. At times, one tends to over-analyze each and every deemed “ill luck” instead of going ahead and taking life as it approaches. Giving unnecessary importance to the emotions of that moment, instead of reacting to them with practicality tends to turn the best moments and right opportunities to missed ones.

“Concern yourself more with accepting responsibility than with assigning blame. Let the possibilities inspire you more than the obstacles discourage you.” Ralph Marston

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Although everything in life that happens has a purpose or meaning; getting trapped by the emotions of event results in far more negative effects than positive ones. Instead as Tao had said, one defines good or bad in relation to how one approaches it. All the unfortunate events have a silver lining, once we remove the black cover covering it. Instead of listening perpetually to the voices around oneself, use the inner voice and optimism to tackle each “unfortunate and lucky” moments that life has in store for each one of us. Each one of us have the sole responsibility of deciding whether to let the ill luck run its course in free fall or face the bad as they come and use it to tackle tomorrow and make the latter better than the yesterday.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Viktor Frankl

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One day while working out in the fields the farmer’s son fell and broke his leg. The villagers came to the farm and said, ‘My, that’s a great misfortune. Your son has broken his leg: now he can’t help you in the fields.’ The farmer said, ‘It is neither a fortune nor a misfortune.’
A day later, the government troops came to the village looking for young men to conscript into the army. They had to leave the boy behind because his leg was broken. Again, the villagers came to the farm and said, ‘My, that’s a great fortune.’ The farmer replied, ‘It is neither a fortune nor a misfortune.’
Then one day the farmer’s only horse jumped the fence and ran away. The villagers came to the farm and said, ‘What a great misfortune that your horse has run away.’ The farmer said, ‘It is neither a fortune nor a misfortune.’ Two or three days later, the horse came back with a dozen wild horses following behind him. The villagers came to him and said, ‘It’s a great fortune that your horse came back with twelve others.’
The farmer replied, ‘It is neither a fortune nor a misfortune.’
As the teaching of the Tao goes, “nothing is long or short, hot or cold, good or bad.”
– Lesson from The TAO TE CHING written by Lao Tzu

“Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home… it’s your responsibility to love it, or change it.” Chuck Palahniuk

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Posted in Daily, Life, poetry, Reflections

Through the Phases

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“All wonders you seek are within yourself.” Sir Thomas Browne

While waiting to pick up my niece after her school annual day rehearsal, one couldn’t help but notice the expressions around. From interest, excitement, mischief, happy and joyful expressions on the young faces to the harried and busy expression of the teachers and the benevolent expression of the few parents and grandparents who had come to see the rehearsal. All in all, it was similar to capturing the various stages of life in one glance. The curiosity and excitement of the young to the business of the adult world and finally, the quiet serenity of the elder.

“I’ve come to realize that life is neither a battle nor a game to be won, it is a game nonetheless, but to be played… enjoyed. There are neither winners nor losers… just players–and what’s great is that you can choose who to play with.” Val Uchendu

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Being there at the rehearsal, what came to mind was Shakespeare’s famous “All the world’s a stage” and each one of is a player. As a player one has the fun and experience of each stage, with losses and gains at those respective stages. At times, the good may outweigh the bad experience and vice versa. Yet learning to let each experience rest at it’s own phase is most important. Learn from them but don’t brood or harbour the bad incessantly. For instance, each one of us may had the “bad or to avoid friend” of school days who one was initially familiar with but then the comradeship got lost gradually, may be it was a simple misunderstanding, personal differences or just lack of time, distance or other aspects of life.

What happens when one meets the same person twenty years later? Will it be casual re-acquaintance, mutual indifference, friendly greeting or patch up resolving with a genuine “keep in touch” or just a warm meeting with hidden goodbyes ?

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Like the above instance, there may be many experience when similar feelings of regret, anger, indifference, sadness, despair or quiet depression that may settle in. What ever it may be. Let the past stay in the past. Learn from it but don’t carry the baggage of emotions with every encounter. Move on, for there are many more experiences in life awaiting for each one of us.

“Life is a puzzle, a riddle, a test, a mystery, a game—whatever challenge you wish to compare it to. Just remember, you’re not the only participant; no one person holds all the answers, the pieces, or the cards. The trick to success in this life is to accumulate teammates and not opponents.” Richelle E. Goodrich

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
– “All the world’s a stage” is the phrase that begins a monologue from William Shakespeare’s pastoral comedy As You Like It, spoken by the melancholy Jaques in Act II Scene VII Line 138.

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Posted in Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes

Lessons of Fall

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“At no other time (than autumn) does the earth let itself be inhaled in one smell, the ripe earth; in a smell that is in no way inferior to the smell of the sea, bitter where it borders on taste, and more honeysweet where you feel it touching the first sounds. Containing depth within itself, darkness, something of the grave almost.” Rainer Maria Rilke

Though the week is in its full swing, the days of autumn call for the awakening of the soul and refreshing of the mind. A few minutes held up in the long traffic queue, the view from the office window, the passing beauty of the landscapes on the bus or train journey; all bring forth the inner roll of emotions running through at that time.

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Fall highlights the work of nature. Despite the dry winds and gradually decreasing sunshine, the colours of nature change in tune to the adverse elements, such that to still bring out the beauty of life. Each of our lives echo in some way, the emotions of the fall. As nature shows us that even in the face of adversities; counting the received blessing and moving forward will result in a beautiful canvas being brought forth.

“Is not this a true autumn day? Just the still melancholy that I love – that makes life and nature harmonise. The birds are consulting about their migrations, the trees are putting on the hectic or the pallid hues of decay, and begin to strew the ground, that one’s very footsteps may not disturb the repose of earth and air, while they give us a scent that is a perfect anodyne to the restless spirit. Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.” [Letter to Miss Lewis, Oct. 1, 1841]” George Eliot

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Fall Reflections
Barbara Aldrich

The air is crisp and clear
As the sun slowly rises.
I witness the breaking of a new day.
I check on my basket of blessings
As if examining a bumper crop of gathered apples
And find it full; Some small, some large, but
All perfectly formed and Heaven sent.
My heart gives thanks.
I turn on the morning news
And hear stories of the shriveled
Falling leaves of other’s lives
And realize the value of the bounty
In my basket of blessings.
Feeling helpless, I pray for a short winter
And the returning of brand new leaves to
The trees that have been left bare,
And examine the blessings in my basket
For ones that I can share.

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World

The Light from Within

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“The moments when you have really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.” Henry Drummond

Like the past years, the extended family had gathered together for the memorial of our grandfather. Although it has been more than five years, it just feels like yesterday when he used to sit with the newspaper on the patio with all of the children gathered around him as he used to narrate stories and spin the tales of legends. While the children miss him especially the fishing days, playing chess or simply going for long countryside walks; being adults it is the words of advice and quiet assurance that is being missed. Even though five years have gone, there would always be a void in the heart. At times, the gentle evening breeze or quiet afternoon rain brings the feel of his presence.

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” Desmond Tutu

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Coming from a large family, there was always an endless lists of tasks for him to be done. From managing the farm to being a teacher, there was something to occupy his mind. During my childhood years, he used to busy running the farm. Despite all the important details to attend to, there was always time for him to spend with a tomboy who wanted to drive the tractor, fish or climb over to the loft, ride the horse, milk cows than play with dolls. For a busy person, those tiny grubby hands were no trouble. More than the gifts bestowed; through his time, he had showered love and joy which were treasured and comforting for the later years of adolescence, adulthood and life in general.

“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” John Bunyon

There is an aura about some people that although one mayn’t have spend a lot of time with them, still leave a comforting feel when those memories are refreshed. Just like the eyes speak of the soul, so does the character, kindness and love radiated by the ambiance around any person speak volumes. One sees a lot of this in the lives of people around them. Those apparently uneventful moments leave a distinct impression that brings fresh hope during the storms of life. As the story about what the eyes of a young man told, this powerful (maybe apocryphal) tale tells a lot about what the soul and mind of a person is, as reflected through his eyes and by the feel around him. No matter how much one of philanthropy one does, what is held within radiated itself outside. At the end of the day, the riches that life has to offer comes not just from the fruits of persistence and perseverance, but also from the love which is what nourishes the soul. Whether our lives reflects the richness of the soul or that of the worldly sheen, is up to one alone.

“Love, hope, fear, faith – these make humanity; These are its sign and note and character.” Robert Browning

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Many years ago an old man stood on a Virginia riverbank. He was waiting to cross the river and, since it was bitterly cold and there were no bridges, he was hoping to get a ride across on horseback. After a lengthy wait he spotted a group of horsemen approaching. He let the first one pass, then the second, third, fourth and fifth. One rider remained. As he drew abreast, the old man looked him in the eye and said, ‘Sir, would you give me a ride across the river?’ The rider immediately replied, ‘Certainly.’ Once across the river, the old man slid to the ground. ‘Sir,’ the rider said before leaving. ‘I could not help but notice that you permitted all the other men to pass without asking for a ride. Then, when I drew abreast, you immediately asked me to carry you across. I am curious as to why you didn’t ask them and you did ask me.’ The old man quietly responded, ‘I looked into their eyes and could see no love and knew in my own heart it would be useless to ask for a ride. But when I looked into your eyes, I saw compassion, love and the willingness to help. I knew you would be glad to give me a ride across the river.’ The rider was touched. ‘I’m grateful for what you are saying,’ he said. ‘I appreciate it very much.’ With that, Thomas Jefferson turned and rode off to the White House.
By Steve Goodier

“Be a good human being, a warm hearted, affectionate person. That is my fundamental belief.” Dalai Lama

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Posted in Daily, Life, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Change the Grounds

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“Without change there is no innovation, creativity, or incentive for improvement. Those who initiate change will have a better opportunity to manage the change that is inevitable.” William Pollard

Talent is indeed a precious thing. Many of us have a wide range of talents, from science to mechanics, music, poetry, performing arts and even sporting events. Yet at times, these talents are hidden or tempered down by the circumstances of time; at each phase of one’s life. Over the course of years, the innate art will present itself in many forms. Like the homemaker who loves embroidery livens up their homes with quilt art or the hidden musician who sings for their children.

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What will happen when one chooses to change their circumstances or the environment around them ?

“Eagle, thou art an eagle. Stretch forth thy wings and fly.”

Then one would discover the true potential within them. There have been instances of adults in their forties signing up for music classes and those in their fifties trying their hand at pottery. One is never too old, too young or too busy to do what they really want to. If the talent and will is within one, then it would manifest itself when the efforts are made in the right circumstances, true surroundings and when the will within burns bright. As soon as one believes in their real potential, then soaring high would be within oneself.

“We accept the verdict of the past until the need for change cries out loudly enough to force upon us a choice between the comforts of inertia and the irksomeness of action.” Billings Learned Hand

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Fable of the Eagle and the Chicken
A fable is told about an eagle that thought he was a chicken. When the eagle was very small, he fell from the safety of his nest. A chicken farmer found the eagle, brought him to the farm, and raised him in a chicken coop among his many chickens. The eagle grew up doing what chickens do, living like a chicken, and believing he was a chicken.
A naturalist came to the chicken farm to see if what he had heard about an eagle acting like a chicken was really true. He knew that an eagle is king of the sky. He was surprised to see the eagle strutting around the chicken coop, pecking at the ground, and acting very much like a chicken. The farmer explained to the naturalist that this bird was no longer an eagle. He was now a chicken because he had been trained to be a chicken and he believed that he was a chicken.

The naturalist knew there was more to this great bird than his actions showed as he “pretended” to be a chicken. He was born an eagle and had the heart of an eagle, and nothing could change that. The man lifted the eagle onto the fence surrounding the chicken coop and said, “Eagle, thou art an eagle. Stretch forth thy wings and fly.” The eagle moved slightly, only to look at the man; then he glanced down at his home among the chickens in the chicken coop where he was comfortable. He jumped off the fence and
continued doing what chickens do. The farmer was satisfied. “I told you it was a chicken,” he said. The naturalist returned the next day and tried again to convince the farmer and the eagle that the eagle was born for something greater. He took the eagle to the top of the farmhouse and spoke to him: “Eagle, thou art an eagle. Thou dost belong to the sky and not to the earth. Stretch forth thy wings and fly.” The large bird looked at the man, then again down into the chicken coop. He jumped from the man’s arm onto the roof of the farmhouse. Knowing what eagles are really about, the naturalist asked the farmer to let him try one more time. He would return the next day and prove that this bird was an eagle. The farmer, convinced otherwise, said, “It is a chicken.”

The naturalist returned the next morning to the chicken farm and took the eagle and the farmer some distance away to the foot of a high mountain. They could not see the farm nor the chicken coop from this new setting. The man held the eagle on his arm and pointed high into the sky where the bright sun was beckoning above. He spoke: “Eagle, thou art an eagle! Thou dost belong to the sky and not to the earth. Stretch forth thy wings and fly.” This time the eagle stared skyward into the bright sun, straightened his large body, and stretched his massive wings. His wings moved, slowly at first, then
surely and powerfully. With the mighty screech of an eagle, he flew.
–(In Walk Tall, You’re A Daughter Of God, by Jamie Glenn)

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