Category: Life

Posted in Family and Society, Life, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

Finding the “Shade”

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“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” Abraham Lincoln

With summer break nearing to an end and summer camps coming to a close, the excited chatter and the melee around were a welcome sight last weekend. Like every year, contests were held and best prizes were announced. Interestingly during the course of events, especially at the award ceremony, the expressions on the faces of many adults, parents or guardians and the like had caught the eye. While kids were happy that they had or hadn’t secured a prize, the momentary disappointment as well loss of happiness on the adults’ faces was a cause for surprise. At the end of the day, the tussle of thoughts were whether prizes do really matter or is the joy of the vent more fun.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” Mahatma Gandhi

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The catch to happiness always depends on how one defines it. One can be happy or sad for the same reason. One can find joy for the moments or consistently ponder over the uncertainty of the next and lose sight of the present. Like there are many shades to a single colour, there are innumerable ways on how to react to a particular situation as well as choose the face of our happiness. Eventually everything boils down to our understanding of happiness in life and what it comprises of.

“Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” Guillaume Apollinaire

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When we react to any event, they are two main faces that can happen. Either we chose to be happy or change the mood such that the events don’t shadow the inner happiness or peace. On the other hand, we can let the sequence of events affect one’s actions, words and thoughts dimming or darkening the mood for the day. What we fail to realize that all the wile, people around us, near or far are affected by one’s own after-effects. The change of moods can start off a chain reaction of words or actions, which in some cases, once said may not be easily taken back. When those affected around us are children, what those young minds grasp and learn from the adult behaviour goes a long way to influence and shape theirs. The next time one cribs about losing one’s happiness; look around and ponder within whether we are solely responsible for it or not. For the actions belong to others, but power of thoughts, remedial thinking and words are in our own court.

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” Helen Keller

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What Is Happiness?

So, what is that happiness, people?
Ones answer, “It is to be mingled
With cards, alcohol and flirtations –
And all kinds of tempting sensations.

The others have beatitude’s vision
In money and higher position:
In flattering ‘kindly’ permitted,
And awe of the workers submitted.

The thirds think that it is in actions
Reflecting the perfect relations:
Sweet kindness, good care, attention
And general hearts’ comprehension.

The fourths think that it’s just advises
To meet with your dear sunrises,
To tell her your love and your favor
And go together forever.

And sometimes the meaning is longing
That it is the permanent burning:
The job, dreams and searching enlivened,
The pair of the wings for the heaven!

I think that in all enterprises,
Has happiness different sizes:
From peaks to a lowest mound,
Depending from people around.

-Eduard Asadov, Translated by Yevgeny Bonver, March, 2001

“True happiness arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one’s self.” Joseph Addison

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Posted in Daily, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Work

Patience to Thy Own

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“Patience is when you’re supposed to get mad, but you choose to understand.” Anonymous

At the grocers’ en-route from work, as the shopping was underway, the realization that the long list taped to the refrigerator door was still stuck on there, had raised the annoyance levels. Consequently the shopping was a very quick one and while paying for the bill and for the rest of the journey, the niggling sense that the shopping was incomplete and things were still undone was lingering on. The journey back was disturbing for one’s peace of mind. Later on, while defusing the day’s stress with tea, the fact that one is least patient with one’s own self struck the core thoughts.

“One minute of patience, ten years of peace.” ~ Greek proverb

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One of the first subjects is patience towards oneself, although we often tend to lose sight of this fact. By tolerating oneself means that on seeing our own mistakes and shortcomings or failures, one shouldn’t be distraught to an unnecessary extent or be greatly upset or indignant. For all these are signs of pride, leading to one’s own downfall. Instead accept that even oneself is prone to make mistakes. Understanding this requires the patience towards self first. For once we learn to be patient with one’s self, then only will the art of patience with others’ and in our daily lives be the routine norm.

“Have patience, my friend, have patience; For Rome wasn’t built in a day! You wear yourself out for nothing In many and many a way! Why are you nervous and fretty When things do not move along fast; Why let yourself get excited Over things that will soon be past?” – Gertrude Tooley Buckingham, “Patience”

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Being human implies that all of us will make mistakes. There are no perfect people in this world. One is prone to stumble and fall, on way or the other. Unless we learn to have patience to correct our steps and put one foot in front of the other, we will never move on or away from our own troubles. Accepting the ignorance of own mind, heart and thoughts; learning to be careful and cautious but having the patience to accept the fact that we have been wrong, will aid us in finding help from His Grace, to rise again and turn the day’s mood from sour to happy. Patience with own help us not only to learn from our mistakes, but also to grow ourselves. If one is not patience with oneself, who else will be patient with us.

“Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.” Victor Hugo

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“Patience Is Not the Ability to Wait:
Patience is not the ability to wait. Patience is to be calm no matter what happens, constantly take action to turn it to positive growth opportunities, and have faith to believe that it will all work out in the end while you are waiting.” Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Posted in Daily, Life, Personal Musings, poetry

Writing on the Asphalt

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“Even your past pain can be a blessing to someone. Hope-lifters are willing to reach back and pass hope on.” Kathe Wunnenberg

One of the perks of waiting in the city traffic, is that there are an endless sightings to view. From observing the roadside shops, their wares or whether they are new or already around, and doing a little bit of “window shopping” to noticing the passersby that walk on the sidewalks and reading the graffiti and artwork on the walls; these are the few things that keep the Thoughts, mind and eyes occupied during the traffic wait in the city as compared to the highway.

Yet what catches the eye and leaves an impression is the graffiti on the walls. Form the local city news to artwork defining the city or the town, to words of famous sayings; these have words that linger on in the mind imparting and affecting the mood of the day subtly. While walking on the sidewalk especially when the parking spot is a considerable distance away from the final destination, the writing on the sidewalk as well on the walls of the various buildings on the street; trigger old memories, feelings of nostalgia either of the fortunate or unfortunate events that we hold on to in our minds, giving a sense of thankfulness for the unasked or asked blessings given to us at the low points in our lives.

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All these words reflect the emotions of many and each word read with thought or subconsciously leaves an impact. While graffiti is usually frowned on, beautiful sayings leaving the sense of hope, kindness and love are needed to remind oneself of the distance we have journeyed, the struggles we had underwent and the unaccounted and saving graces that we have all been blessed with. Each one has indeed their own baggage, but by giving hope we not only lighten the burden of others’ but also learn how to carry and deal with our baggage better. For the light of one candle never loses out by sharing its’ flame with others, they all die depending on their length of time.

“Even one’s yesterdays could not continue to stir and move in a man’s mind unless there were a future for those yesterdays to make.” Mary Ellen Chase

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“Everything will be fine! I recognized! ”-
The inscription on the pavement chalked.
I stood for a long time in affection
And I admit, I did not want to leave.

Who wrote and for whom – I do not know,
But these lines have warmed my soul,
Like forget-me-nots in mid-May,
Like white snowdrops of April.

A simple and short phrase,
At first glance – so wise,
But how much optimism gives at once,
And lights up joyful smiles!

Everything will be fine? Of course it will be!
And I want to believe it boldly!
It’s great to give hope to people,
Even if it’s just on chalk on asphalt …

Natalya Smirnova

“Hope is not easily defined, but impossible to embrace without faith. The more we search for meaning in what seems hopeless; we realize that our “hopelessness” is a state of mind, not a reality.” Carol Bright

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Posted in Daily, Life, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

Yearnings before the Summer

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“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” W.B. Yeats

With the heat of summer approaching and spring nearing its’ end, a longing comes for the early pleasant winter days or the cooler autumn. While summer is indeed a time for beaches and water and cooler evenings making up for the oppressive heat of the mornings, one often longs to escape to the coldest part of the time for a few days.

“Happiness doesn’t depend on what we have, but it does depend on how we feel toward what we have. We can be happy with little and miserable with much.” William D. Hoard

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Looking back, the seasons do expose the strength of one’s endurance. During the extreme cold of winter, one harbours the longing for summer and reverse feelings in winter. These feelings bring to front the changing nature of the whims and fancies of man. Being human, one often tends to change one’s mind, thoughts and actions depending on the mood of the situation. Yet at times, we lose sight of the moral principle while engaging on the whims.

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” Charles R. Swindoll

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To transform, mature and to experience life, change is important. Yet if we are always on the lookout for change, without experiencing the moments of the present, we fail to learn what time and life has in store for us with every passing moment. Flitting from branch to another, we may always on the lookout for something better, brighter and more purposeful. In doing so, we tend to lose out on the meaning of the wonders of the present. Once lost, that Time would never come back. In His Timeline and among His Creations, one often learns that during uncertain situations, difficult choices or troubled times; stepping out and taking a breath of fresh air helps to find new perspective. The sooner we do so, the most difficult and rough season becomes an enjoyable one for the time.

“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.” Anne Frank

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I See You Spring

I see you, spring,
In my double window.
You’re not very red,
and even a little dirty.

There is no greenery yet.
The earth is exactly two-colored photo,
And the snow only catches the moment
To disappear from us imperceptibly.

And sleepy shade carts,
Squeaking axes,
On the same trampled snow
They derive sleds in the autumn.

And chomping with a check,
And twisting the wheels with his hands,
And a drop of rain on his cheek
Suddenly feels like tears.

Varlam Shalamov

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Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Mosaic Aspects of the Golden Rule

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“Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, because those who are searching forget that the surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

One of the greatest benefits and downfalls of the social order is, being subject to and as well as adding to the actions and behaviour that affects not just own but also others. Ranging from the work place to the general market, local stores, neighbourhood and community fronts or even on the routine commute; one comes across a number of situations where direct involvement or even being an indirect viewer; where one may object to an “n” number of things. Yet dealing with those situations should be done in a very tact, moralistic and delicate manner, learning not to impart offense but to be at peace aftermath.

“When a man is guided by the principles of reciprocity and consciousness, he is not far from the moral law. Whatever you don’t wish for yourself don’t do unto others.” Confucius

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One of the Golden Rules of the Social Order often quoted in almost every religious and ancient philosophical writings of behavioural and social precepts like the New Testament, Talmud, Koran, the Analects of Confucius and many more; state that one should behave and act towards others as one would want it to be done to one’s self. To quote one of the earliest appearances in English is Earl Rivers’ translation of a saying of Socrates ( Dictes and Sayenges of the Philosophirs , 1477): “Do to other as thou wouldst they should do to thee, and do to none other but as thou wouldst be done to.”

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (Mathew 7:12)

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One of the commands based on words of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount, this Mosaic law holds a parallel commandment: “Whatever is hurtful to you, do not do to any other person.” Despite the universal saying of “What goes around, comes around”, at times the temptation to strike back is very high. Yet the effect, guilt, regrets and remorse aftermath is more min and conscience numbing. Instead holding back may be more internally satisfactory for one. Whether the behaviour we unto others may benefit us at a later stage or not, is irrelevant for by doing the right then, we will be so much more at peace within for a long time.

“The reason for our success is no secret. It comes down to one single principle that transcends time and geography, religion and culture. It’s the Golden Rule – the simple idea that if you treat people well, the way you would like to be treated, they will do the same.” Isadore Sharp

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Two Neighbors

A wise and successful man bought a beautiful house with a huge orchard. But, not all were happy for him. An envious man lived in an old house next to him. He constantly tried to make his fellow neighbor’s stay in the beautiful house as miserable as possible. He threw garbage under his gate and made other nasty things. One fine day the wise man woke up in a good mood and went into the porch to notice buckets of garbage thrown there. The man took a bucket , cleaned his porch. He carried a bucket and went to knock his envious neighbor‘s door. The envious neighbor heard a knock at his door and gleefully thought, “ I finally got him!”. He answered his door ready to quarrel with his successful neighbor. However the wise man gave him a bucket of freshly picked apples saying, “The one who is rich in something, shares it with others.”

“The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own.” Benjamin Disraeli

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Stories Around the World, Work

Cups, Perfection or Happiness

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“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” Abraham Lincoln

As per the recent health surveys, the growing levels of stress are increasing steadily, not only among white collar workers, but also among young adults, adolescents and even at school level. In 2016, an estimate of over 1.1 billion people worldwide ( 1 in 6 or 15-20%) had mental or substance use disorder with around 4 percent of population had anxiety disorder ( Source: Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation, Global Burden of Disease study). As per the Cigna 360 Well Being Survey (2018), around 9 in 10 Indians suffer from stress. With all this statistical evidence and data of mental as well physical health correlations, the glaring fact or query is whether happiness or health is defined by the boundaries of pre-defined standardized success or by the quiet inner serenity of “being successful within”.

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” Albert Camus

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One of the reasons why we often sink into the pits in our journey in life, is because we are too busy looking around to notice our own. One becomes too busy in concentrating on how “our coffee cup” is shaped, styled and modeled in comparison to others either by wealth, career, assets or other parameters. Unfortunately in doing so, we fail to enjoy to taste, flavours and pleasure of indulging in the freshly brewed coffee in our own cup. Wouldn’t it be better if we enjoyed our own cup in the short time that we have?

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” Albert Schweitzer

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To attain the happiness in life, doesn’t imply to concentrate only on the cup that we have. Perfection doesn’t define happiness. Rather define what is important to one and find comfort and peace of mind in those. The choice to remain at peace and serene lies within us and our thoughts. Choose to stay calm, happy and content by finding the value and worth in things that really matter to us and our inner peace.

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.” Aristotle

A Cup and Coffee

A group of highly established alumni got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation among them soon turned into complaints about their stressful work and life. The professor went to his kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups, including porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain-looking, some expensive and some exquisite. The professor told them to help themselves to the coffee. After all the students had a cup of coffee in their hands, the professor said: “ Did you notice all the nice looking cups are taken and only the plain inexpensive ones are left behind. While it is normal for everyone to want the best for themselves, but that is the source of problems and stress in your life. “ “ The cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most of the cases, it’s just more expensive and hides what we drink.”, the professor continued. “What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but all of you consciously went for good looking expensive cups and then began eyeing on each other’ s cups.”
“Let’s consider that life is the coffee and the jobs, houses, cars, things, money and position are the cups. The type of cup we have, does not define or change the quality of our lives.”

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Work

Exchange Points: Adolescence to Adulthood

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“You’re always you, and that don’t change, and you’re always changing, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Neil Gaiman

Last week an unexpected mail had appeared in my inbox from friends of the middle school year. As kids of government employees, transfers were inevitable as a part of resource allocation, promotions and training. Consequently changing school every three to five years was the regular norm. Thus receiving this email had opened the box of memories and moments, considering the fact that middle school was a time when we were all evolving.

“Nothing happens unless something is moved.” Albert Einstein

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Looking back, every year of our life as we grow older involves a change. Refreshing the memories as middle-schoolers, life was mostly about assignments, sports, dating and the cultural. Academics had featured a role when relevant. Yet fast forwarding, adult life signifies mostly an exchange. Academics were replaced by work, dating by either relationships, marriage, family and sports or cultural as bucket lists, leisure or recreation. Time became more and more precious. Personal life had taken a back seat once, when career life had started.

“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.” Nicholas Sparks

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Reunions, spontaneous unexpected run-ins with old acquaintances, opening the high school year book or college class book and the like, all bring back memories of the best, worst, embarrassing and nostalgic memories at the different time frames in our lives. The difference lies in how we have progressed, view situations today and has the picture changed for the better or worse. The dreams and hopes as children or adolescents combined with the unbiased and open thinking as well as the willingness to embrace change, mistakes, criticism and appreciation as well; have they been lost or matured to finer aspects.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates (Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior)

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While the younger years were marked by learning through self experiences, formation of groups or peer pressure, forging of new bonds and learning to protect one’s self esteem from being shattered as well as trying to fit into the society; adulthood takes on a different turn with the lessons that we have learnt and experiences underwent to prepare us for the journey ahead. Yet the fact remains on whether we have progressed beyond the classroom thinking and contours of “adolescence” for the kindness, maturity and love that adulthood offers or have we accepted the fickle matters of life with all the lights, sound and the glorification as the truth. Only time will know, can tell and foresee.

“That is at bottom the only courage that is demanded of us: to have courage for the most strange, the most singular and the most inexplicable that we may encounter.” Rainer Maria Rilke

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