Posted in Family and Society, Life, Photography Art, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Being Civilized

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” Helen Keller

The last couple of weeks or even months saw subtle to drastic changes in the world around. From being quarantined to social distancing, restricted movements, early school holidays and “work from home” days or few spending more “at-home” time. Throughout all these weeks, numerous thoughts, worries and emotions have been flitting through the mind. The worries of being affected or quarantined to the economic implications of the changes brought about and the trouble in keeping the domestic front active as well as purchase of essentials. All in all, these weeks required plenty of common sense, restraint, social consideration and etiquette.

“It is the long history of humankind (and animal kind, too) that those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed.” Charles Darwin

Though the initial impact based studies showed it was the outlying ages who were primarily at risk, as documented by epidemiological and disease experts; later it was the chain of transmission that was under focus for it caused more harm. Technical details and contact tracing were done. Then the most difficult part was convincing the need to restrict and make an effort to break the chain. One of the lessons learned from the society where the epidemiological disease curve had flattened out, was the collective effort of those who were part of the chain.

When each and every member of the social strata, be it the young or the old, the healthy or those with underlying diseases came together to support each other; the curve began to flatten out. Each one knew the role they played and strove to protect the other. It was the humane concern that underlined their activity over the next few weeks.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Martin Luther King Jr

Being civilized is defined not by how many degrees one has or the per-capita income alone. the civilized society is defined how each member of the herd contributes to keeping the network strong, safe and protected for all. When one vested group sticks tot heir interests of their own, it harms the social fabric. While the harm may seem to be to one side; on the long run the harm caused may directly or indirectly affect all the social levels. The worth of the civilization lies in how all the members face any crisis on their respective fronts. For that is what makes the human different, from not being blinded by their inherent and primal instinct; but to bring together and forward their social structure as a whole.

“Years ago, anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture. The student expected Mead to talk about fishhooks or clay pots or grinding stones.

But no. Mead said that the first sign of civilization in an ancient culture was a femur (thighbone) that had been broken and then healed. Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal.
A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts, Mead said.”

We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.”

Ira Byock, in his book The Best Care Possible: A Physician’s Quest to Transform Care Through the End of Life (Avery, 2012)

Posted in Life, Personal Musings, Photography Art, poetry, Random Thoughts

Solace of “Doing Nothing”

As a part of the management policy, employees are required to take at least twenty percent of their entire leaves (both annual and casual) each year. Which is why, three of my colleagues had to take their leaves, though they weren’t requiring any break from the regular. While one of them had enjoyed a short break with family at a getaway; with school for their kids, two of them were kind of stuck in their towns. Yet after their allotted leaves, on return, there was a positive spark in their eyes. To the often phrased query of “what did you do during your leave”, their response was thought-provoking, especially when the words were “we did nothing”.

For some of us, the very act of doing nothing, may relate to sheer idleness. And as the famous adage goes, “An idle mind is a devil’s workshop.” Yet the day off, meaning a day of doing nothing, is primarily meant to be away from all the problem solving, completion of tasks or a break from the social life or business of the day. While there is comfort in the daily routine, every now and then each of us need time off, to just “not think”.

“Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence. Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.” Maya Angelou

None of us, are indispensable, specially as far as social and career life is considered. Amidst all this chaos, taking a breather is necessary for maintaining he inner balance. Sometimes, one doesn’t need to do or think, but just go with the flow and experience the calming effects of the life around us. The best holidays would be one where one learns to just appreciate the wind dance with the leaves, dance on the water, smell the dew as well as enjoy the breeze in the hammock. These quiet moments of doing nothing, help us face the turbulence that time may take us through later.

Today I Am Doing Nothing

It’s a plan in itself,
Not an open invitation for suggestions
To go on long walks, or dancing,
Or paint-balling, or take a drive
Down to the beach.

It doesn’t mean I am free
To do one of the hundreds of tasks
You decide are more important,
In an attempt to fill my day
With a different kind of meaning.

Today I am doing nothing,
Because I have become lost,
In a world where doing something, anything
Is so expected of ourselves and each other
That simply doing nothing is viewed
As a waste of time.

We so rarely have opportunity
To have the conversations in our heads
That determine who we really are,
As we watch the moments floating past,
Lying under the stars.

Today I am doing nothing,
Please understand that what I desire,
Is silent doorbells, unknocked doors
And that the phone doesn’t ring
As I curl up by the fire.

– Nigel Finn

Posted in Christian, Life, Random Thoughts

Stuck in the Fit

“Sometimes it just gets a little too much.” This thought had been going on and on, like a movie reel in my mind whole day long; popping up at the most unexpected moments. While the first was when I was running low on time due to unexpected cranky behaviour of the coffeemaker, the toaster and the list just goes on; the next was when the traffic was being held up real longer than the usual, the third was when I couldn’t find the hard copy of my project proposal soon enough and then on, I just lost the order of that thought.

Towards the end of the day, as I made my usual trip to the local grocery to stock on the much needed household items; it was a definite crowd, more seen than the regular weekday numbers. That is when I heard the tantrum cries of the three year old, “Ice-cream!! Ice-cream!! I want it now!!” With no distraction working out, his mother found it a little difficult to get him to quieten down. The tantrum frenzy had him in a full storm. Then an elderly lady approached them and patted her hand. “Don’t worry. It’s just a big fit which is having your little kid. He’s so small so he can’t stop it yet. He needs your patience to help him and stay close to him. He’ll get past it if you’re with him.” Standing nearby I couldn’t help but overhear those words.

“He caused the storm to be still, So that the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad because they were quiet, So He guided them to their desired haven.” (Psalm 107:29-30)

Reflecting on that unbidden thought that often entered my mind today, it felt like I was having one big “adult” fit. For while the trying circumstances of the day were never ending, it wasn’t as bad compared to the chaos of the some of the “worse” days. While things may haven’t clockwork as planned, nothing really went gross bad or horrible. Being human, sometimes things may get a little too tough. Or at times that even temperament can be sorely unbalanced by a single act, word, behaviour or thoughts. In all these moments, call to mind His Peace, His Strength and His Grace to hold us and keep calm.

The fragility of the human mind is echoed throughout the Bible with our Heavenly Father showing us enough and more of His Grace, His Kindness and His Love despite all the havoc, wrong doings and sins man has done. In those moments of “big fits” what we all need is patience, a helping hand and His Grace. And then it won’t be that we have the fits but the fits have us and will be dealt with soon. For by His Love and His Grace, these “fits” too shall pass.

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Stories Around the World

Parts of the Whole

Staying put in a particular place has not been in any of our list. From sharing a routine covering the regular places either of work or on the household front, to enrollment in centers for the pursuit of own hobbies, visiting with friends or family and sharing the regular weekly cuppa with close friends for a laugh and more; entering the adult phase opened a whole new world outside the neighbourhood. With the present lock-down scenario, “staying in” invokes a whole new meaning. Even working from home, doesn’t help as one eventually misses the camaraderie and kinship on the professional front. As the sense of being stifled was growing strong, a sudden call from my colleague dampened down the unrest a little.

“If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.” Booker T. Washington

Being in the locked down, or “locked in” phase ( the latter resonates to the mood appropriate for the present), one learns to appreciate social relationships. Recalling the previous week before the “work from home” sessions began, the usual “coffee break” involved gentle ribbing or exchange of new ideas and neighbourhood stories. All in all, there was a feeling of connectedness between all of us at work. Whether own colleagues were best of friends or casual acquaintances, meeting them were one of the parts of the day that had to be there. Though video calling and snap chats are there, it isn’t the same as seeing them face to face.

“Everyone has a purpose in life and a unique talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.” Kallam Anji Reddy

These past few days have taught us that each person that become a part of our lives, are important in their own way. The nod from the employee who mans the elevator tot he clerk who sits at the front reception and observes the routine punching in are just few of the many people who add an essence to each day.

In fact, everyone that we meet has something special to teach each one of us. Such a network of inter-connectedness is what keeps us sane when facing a crisis situation. One doesn’t know how much the other is a part of their lives, unless we try to live without it. As learnt through the days spent during the lock-down, one needs to be grateful for every little gift, chance, blessing or person that across their daily lives.

“WE ALL NEED TO BE NEEDED”

Lonely tree was growing among hot sands of dead desert. Prickly sands covered the Wood. The Sun mercilessly burned its bark. But the Tree kept on living in spite of all.
One day a Hawk flew over the desert. The Hawk saw the Tree and sat on its branch. He looked around the desert and said:
— You are a strange Tree, why do you keep on living among these dead hot sands? Who needs it?
— You, — the Tree answered.
— Me? — the Hawk was surprised. — I don‘t need you.
— But if not me, — the Tree told, — you would have to sit on the hot sand instead of my branches. If not me, someone, seeing you sitting on the tree alone, would say that nobody needs you, too and would ask you what you live for. Sitting on my branches you, Hawk, think that I need you. The Hawk thought about it and had to agree with the Tree. If there was no Tree, the hawk would feel himself alone and useless among this vast desert.

“None of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.” Mother Teresa

Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

One Pair to Many

During the initial phases of my career, there were many roadblocks, of which one stays prominent in the mind. This instance was when a project had to submitted within three days, instead of the stipulated one week timeline. With the project being allotted to three colleagues, time was too short to complete the work in a satisfactory manner within three days. During the coffee break, the rest of us were informed. What happened then was those three pairs of hands were joined by another four pairs, the latter having near about met their own deadlines. Suddenly the three day deadline was not an impossible feat to achieve.

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” John Holmes

Many instances one feels that things mayn’t be accomplished. Yet looking back, at the end of the day, one discovers that it was possible after all. The “hows” of the happening may be because of additional pair of hands, tackling the situation in small bite-sized portions or simply Divine Grace. Most of the times, it is the latter that often helps one face the impossible days.

As the story of the “Stone Soup” goes, each of us needs to just bring what one has at hand to make the final soup. When what one has at hand is submitted to Him, it would be multiplied in a manner beyond expectation as long as one places complete faith and trust in Him. The scriptures teach us of the feeding of five thousand people, all from a sparse fare of five loaves and two fishes. When these items were surrendered to Christ, He had increased it and thousands of hungry mouths.

““Bring them here to me,” [Jesus] said.” (Matthew 14:18)

Such is the outcome when one surrenders their efforts, talents and services to Him; it will be accepted and increased beyond own expectations or imagination, making the impossible possible. All these are possible, only when one is willing to bring what is in their hands to Him and enlist His Help, His Grace and His Mercy. With all this, the feat of achieving the impossible, but possible through Him, gives a feeling of warmth and lightness, filling one with peace and happiness from within.

“Stone Soup,” an old tale with many versions, tells of a starving man who comes to a village, but no one there can spare a crumb of food for him. He puts a stone and water in a pot over a fire. Intrigued, the villagers watch him as he begins to stir his “soup.” Eventually, one brings a couple of potatoes to add to the mix; another has a few carrots. One person adds an onion, another a handful of barley. A farmer donates some milk. Eventually, the “stone soup” becomes a tasty chowder. Though this tale illustrates the value of sharing, but it also reminds us to bring what we have, even when it seems to be insignificant. (Source:vk.com)

Posted in Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes

Not as the Speculation

“Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined.” Toni Morrison

Preparations for the silver jubilee of the high school batch had begun well in advance, almost a year ahead. From inquiries among batch-mates about schedules, plans and venues to coordinating with the present school and alumni council, no stone was left unturned to reconnect with all members of the same batch year. Catching up to the present day, there was a couple of surprises in store for everyone. Besides the personal additions to the class, there were the professional landmarks and various talents that had come into play over the years; all which were way off the conjectures based on the know of the high school years.

“Those who have knowledge, don’t predict. Those who predict, don’t have knowledge.” Lao Tzu

No matter how many suppositions one may presume, the reality may be something near the perceived or far off the mark. At times, it is more of the latter that makes one realize that at times perceived notions can be way out of the expected. As each of us had made our way into the world, shedding off the cloaks of the teenage years and entering into the young adult stage; not one of us would have been able to exactly predict the directions that we would turn. While for some of us, the final destination of the present day is close to the dream we had seen; for few others the present reality is way better than the future views held in the mind of those days.

“Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day.” Suzy Kassem

Whether the top scorer of the class reaches the pinnacle of success or the one with low grades runs his own company; towards the end of the day all those don’t matter. Neither does each of us have the power to completely judge or label one, neither does one like to labelled or judged. Whether the scorer of those days is successful today or not, it doesn’t affect the present day lives of most of us. As long as one is content from within, the true essence of life is then experienced. Though guess-work and suppositions may be nowhere near the reality, it doesn’t matter as long as each of us are happy in our own paths. And that is the true beauty of life, to feel and explore the dreams, aspiration and talents closest to the heart.

The heartthrob of the school, is a man grim and somber.
That lanky little girl, is now a weightlifter.
The topper of the class, is a happy homemaker.
Back bencher of the lot, is an entrepreneur.
The flamboyant fashionista, became a dreaded lawyer.
Oft ignored average Joe, turned a well known writer.
The one who failed math paper, is a fashion designer,
And one who often got to stand outside the class, is a respected army officer.
The reunion taught me how, people came with many layers, and tell me why should we never, judge a book by its cover.
Anjali Sharma

Posted in Life, poetry, Random Thoughts

To Rest, Free

Weekends are precious. At times it is so because one tries to squeeze in the dues from the week before or catch up with family and friends who have been neglected for a while, or to catch up with own personal stuff. Though at times, weekends are more precious because it’s one of the days when one tries to simply do nothing. To a point, my husband and I try to fit the weekend in the last category. With the children kept busy till lunch; the post lunch session includes an hour or two of their favourite cartoons or movie, while as adults we resolve to just lie in the yard, free of any thoughts or plans.

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” John Lubbock

Trying to stay “thought free” for a hour or half every weekend does wonders for the soul. To contemplate or think about nothing, while one is still alert is an art in itself. While an idle mind mayn’t be a bad workshop, to be free of thoughts for a while is on a totally different plane. Each of us have plenty of inner worries that often tend to surface when the hands stay still and the mind wanders. To still that wandering mind of worries takes effort and plenty of faith laced with hope.

“The most valuable thing we can do for the psyche, occasionally, is to let it rest, wander, live in the changing light of room, not try to be or do anything whatever.” May Sarton

To rest and feel free is a wonderful gift to experience. To relax doesn’t require one to be kept busy or watch plenty of visuals. One of the best ways to de-stress would be just to lie in the hammock and watch the sunset or to close the eyes and feel the smell of dewy grass. All these provide rest for the psyche. Still those wandering unbidden thoughts and instead, just do nothing but lie still. Those moments of stillness are quite enough to rejuvenate one for the never ending chaos and cares of the current times.

The House of Rest

I will build a house of rest,
Square the corners every one:
At each angle on his breast
Shall a cherub take the sun;
Rising, risen, sinking, down,
Weaving day’s unequal crown.

In the chambers, light as air,
Shall responsive footsteps fall:
Brother, sister, art thou there?
Hush! we need not jar nor call;
Need not turn to seek the face
Shut in rapture’s hiding-place.

Heavy load and mocking care
Shall from back and bosom part;
Thought shall reach the thrill of prayer,
Patience plan the dome of art.
None shall praise or merit claim,
Not a joy be called by name.

With a free, unmeasured tread
Shall we pace the cloisters through:
Rest, enfranchised, like the Dead;
Rest till Love be born anew.
Weary Thought shall take his time,
Free of task-work, loosed from rhyme.

No reproof shall grieve or chill;
Every sin doth stand confest;
None need murmur, ‘This was ill’:
Therefore do they grant us rest;
Contemplation making whole
Every ruin of the soul.

Pictures shall as softly look
As in distance shows delight;
Slowly shall each saintly book
Turn its pages in our sight;
Not the study’s wealth confuse,
Urging zeal to pale abuse.

Children through the windows peep,
Not reproachful, though our own;
Hushed the parent passion deep,
And the household’s eager tone.
One above, divine and true,
Makes us children like to you.

Measured bread shall build us up
At the hospitable board;
In Contentment’s golden cup
Is the guileless liquor poured.
May the beggar pledge the king
In that spirit gathering,

Oh! my house is far away;
Yet it sometimes shuts me in.
Imperfection mars each day
While the perfect works begin.
In the house of labor best
Can I build the house of rest.
-Julia Ward Howe

Source: She Wields a Pen: American Women Poets of the Nineteenth Century (University of Iowa Press, 1997)