Posted in Family and Society, Life, Photography Art, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Being Civilized

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” Helen Keller

The last couple of weeks or even months saw subtle to drastic changes in the world around. From being quarantined to social distancing, restricted movements, early school holidays and “work from home” days or few spending more “at-home” time. Throughout all these weeks, numerous thoughts, worries and emotions have been flitting through the mind. The worries of being affected or quarantined to the economic implications of the changes brought about and the trouble in keeping the domestic front active as well as purchase of essentials. All in all, these weeks required plenty of common sense, restraint, social consideration and etiquette.

“It is the long history of humankind (and animal kind, too) that those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed.” Charles Darwin

Though the initial impact based studies showed it was the outlying ages who were primarily at risk, as documented by epidemiological and disease experts; later it was the chain of transmission that was under focus for it caused more harm. Technical details and contact tracing were done. Then the most difficult part was convincing the need to restrict and make an effort to break the chain. One of the lessons learned from the society where the epidemiological disease curve had flattened out, was the collective effort of those who were part of the chain.

When each and every member of the social strata, be it the young or the old, the healthy or those with underlying diseases came together to support each other; the curve began to flatten out. Each one knew the role they played and strove to protect the other. It was the humane concern that underlined their activity over the next few weeks.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Martin Luther King Jr

Being civilized is defined not by how many degrees one has or the per-capita income alone. the civilized society is defined how each member of the herd contributes to keeping the network strong, safe and protected for all. When one vested group sticks tot heir interests of their own, it harms the social fabric. While the harm may seem to be to one side; on the long run the harm caused may directly or indirectly affect all the social levels. The worth of the civilization lies in how all the members face any crisis on their respective fronts. For that is what makes the human different, from not being blinded by their inherent and primal instinct; but to bring together and forward their social structure as a whole.

“Years ago, anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture. The student expected Mead to talk about fishhooks or clay pots or grinding stones.

But no. Mead said that the first sign of civilization in an ancient culture was a femur (thighbone) that had been broken and then healed. Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal.
A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts, Mead said.”

We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.”

Ira Byock, in his book The Best Care Possible: A Physician’s Quest to Transform Care Through the End of Life (Avery, 2012)

Posted in Life, Personal Musings, Photography Art, poetry, Random Thoughts

Solace of “Doing Nothing”

As a part of the management policy, employees are required to take at least twenty percent of their entire leaves (both annual and casual) each year. Which is why, three of my colleagues had to take their leaves, though they weren’t requiring any break from the regular. While one of them had enjoyed a short break with family at a getaway; with school for their kids, two of them were kind of stuck in their towns. Yet after their allotted leaves, on return, there was a positive spark in their eyes. To the often phrased query of “what did you do during your leave”, their response was thought-provoking, especially when the words were “we did nothing”.

For some of us, the very act of doing nothing, may relate to sheer idleness. And as the famous adage goes, “An idle mind is a devil’s workshop.” Yet the day off, meaning a day of doing nothing, is primarily meant to be away from all the problem solving, completion of tasks or a break from the social life or business of the day. While there is comfort in the daily routine, every now and then each of us need time off, to just “not think”.

“Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence. Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.” Maya Angelou

None of us, are indispensable, specially as far as social and career life is considered. Amidst all this chaos, taking a breather is necessary for maintaining he inner balance. Sometimes, one doesn’t need to do or think, but just go with the flow and experience the calming effects of the life around us. The best holidays would be one where one learns to just appreciate the wind dance with the leaves, dance on the water, smell the dew as well as enjoy the breeze in the hammock. These quiet moments of doing nothing, help us face the turbulence that time may take us through later.

Today I Am Doing Nothing

It’s a plan in itself,
Not an open invitation for suggestions
To go on long walks, or dancing,
Or paint-balling, or take a drive
Down to the beach.

It doesn’t mean I am free
To do one of the hundreds of tasks
You decide are more important,
In an attempt to fill my day
With a different kind of meaning.

Today I am doing nothing,
Because I have become lost,
In a world where doing something, anything
Is so expected of ourselves and each other
That simply doing nothing is viewed
As a waste of time.

We so rarely have opportunity
To have the conversations in our heads
That determine who we really are,
As we watch the moments floating past,
Lying under the stars.

Today I am doing nothing,
Please understand that what I desire,
Is silent doorbells, unknocked doors
And that the phone doesn’t ring
As I curl up by the fire.

– Nigel Finn

Posted in Family and Society, Photography Art, poetry, Random Thoughts

Charm of Being Real

On one of the rare days when I got a couple of hours free towards the evening, with no pending domestic tasks and kids put to bed; it was the perfect time to browse through the social networking pages. On seeing pictures of the photo album posted my college girlfriend and her family to the Museum of Illusions (Doha), I had a pretty good couple of laughs. As the two kids had a picture of their smaller than them and minuscule parents, there was a bit of scare (as discovered during the retelling) when their parents had disappeared as an after-effect of the illusion. Besides the scare; considering the rush of visitors and fun moments, they all had an eventful day, candid moments captured as well as laughing memories to treasure.

Fast-forwarding to “real life” our life too holds various shades of ourselves. Illusions as some say, or the “different faces” as few call it. These are the cloaks one adorns on going through different matters of the day. While some may be echo our true selves, others hold the socially acceptable selves or the “deemed right faces”.

Through all these illusions and motions, one must never lose their own self. While one tries to conform to the socially acceptable norms and standards, losing own self may result in an illusion of sorts that one may never be able to figure out later. If that ever happens so, the chaos caused would be a difficult (but not impossible) conundrum to figure out. Be yourself, for each of us have our own prints of various kinds to leave behind in the world that we visit.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Bernard M. Baruch

Be Yourself
by Ellen Bailey
Why would you want to be someone else
When you could be better by being yourself
Why pretend to be someone you are not
When you have something they haven’t got

Cheating yourself of the life you have to live
Deprives others of that only which you can give
You have much more to offer by being just you
Than walking around in someone else’s shoes

Trying to live the life of another is a mistake
It is a masquerade; nothing more than a fake
Be yourself and let your qualities show through
Others will love you more for being just you

Remember that God loves you just as you are
To Him you are already a bright shining star
Family and friends will love you more too
If you spent more time practicing just being you

Posted in Personal Musings, Photography Art, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Seasons, Phases and Shades

“I don’t know what lies around the bend, but I’m going to believe that the best does.” Anne of Green Gables

While attending the biennial workshop held as a part of the company policy on updating their employees, many of us signed up mainly for the chance to visit another interesting place. In fact the venue itself was one of the appealing factors of this time’s workshop. Based on the recommendations of the previous city visitors (though it was three years old) we had decided to visit the local famous haunts. To our surprise, while most tourist places had stayed on(or even updated), some of the local popular places like the delis, square gardens as well as city walks had changed quite significantly.

While the entire week went in a whirlwind of various sessions, trips to the local areas, experimenting with new dishes; our experiences were a little different from the previous accounts we were told. Though our experiences were different, it was a lovely stay for the season we were in.

“Even seasonal situations can bring with them lessons that last a lifetime. If the love doesn’t last, it prepares you for the one that will.” Mandy Hale

Each of our days brings in a lot of scenes, flavours and experiences. Our own experiences may be seen in a different light by others. While one may have a good memory, the others may share a not so good or sad memory. To pass judgement too quickly based on a single happening would be to deprive oneself of the whole picture.

Each event or person has their own phases. While one phase mayn’t turn out to be well, it doesn’t mean that it is a lost cause. Instead give it some time, for then one would discover that things weren’t so bad but an interesting experience  seen so in the due course of time.

The Seasons of Life 
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn to not judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away. The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.
The second son said no – it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed, he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfilment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but one season in the tree’s life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are – and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life – can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up. If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall. Don’t judge a life by one difficult season. Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Photography Art, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

Reality of Empowerment

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.” Charlotte Brontë 

Entering into morning hours of the international day symbolizing the empowerment of women while bringing them to an equal footing with men (especially as far as civic rights are concerned); this day marks the long struggle in breaking down the barriers laid down by the society of then. While this day may or mayn’t be commemorated in a special manner, this day holds a significant meaning.

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.” Coco Chanel

Empowerment by itself means, “the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.” While this may be used more in terms of social, civic and human rights; there is a bigger spectrum beyond this. While as a child we all dream big, of doing the daring, being adventurous and focusing on our own passions. Somewhere along the line, we loose track of all these and think of the future days on the society that we live of today. In order to provide the daily bread and butter, we often change tracks and off the path. Along the way, most of us may get stuck in the rut; while a few of us may take charge later and do a little of things that we all dreamt to do. Yet there are still some of us, who start off working on our dreams, but along the way the rut deepens and we get stuck again.

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” Steve Maraboli

Empowerment includes us finding ourselves a way out of the rut. Getting out of the confines of society and seeking own dreams, involves tremendous strength and courage. Our life is more or less like the train on the railway tracks. Some of the destinations are known but unexpected landslides do occur and detours are made. By empowering own-selves and getting around those rocks. makes each of our own views breathtaking and spectacular; than being mere copycats of a kind. While the tracks of the train may be set to prevent the derail; at times finding the smaller routes with due care and caution, gives a view better beyond our wildest imagination.

The Railway Train
by Emily Dickinson

I like to see it lap the miles,
And lick the valleys up,
And stop to feed itself at tanks;
And then, prodigious, step

Around a pile of mountains,
And, supercilious, peer
In shanties by the sides of roads;
And then a quarry pare

To fit its sides, and crawl between,
Complaining all the while
In horrid, hooting stanza;
Then chase itself down hill

And neigh like Boanerges;
Then, punctual as a star,
Stop — docile and omnipotent —
At its own stable door.

Posted in Food, Photography Art

In the “Or-e-o Craze”

“I need to go for a two day trainers workshop. Debbie has fallen sick with flu, so I am her replacement. Mom is coming to stay in for those two days. Rachel is coming too, she’s on study break at home; so don’t worry about the kids or anything else.” 

Before pressing the send icon near the above message, there were mixed emotions running through my mind. First thoughts were on the huge amount of pending office work to complete and the workshop preparation required, second the cleaning up chores required before I leave and the third, stocking up of the pantry.

As far as cooking is concerned, worries are less because not only their grandmother knows how to turn them around but with my cousin Rachel alone, it would be quite a chocolaty bribe. Knowing her fondness for anything chocolate and quick meals, her kitchen preparations especially in dessert area well loved by all. With physique never being a problem, her dinner revolves around a tub of ice-cream and a couple of Oreos. Which is why, I had to make a new shopping list, one with plenty of sugar on it.

“Oreos come in packages. Otherwise known as a gift. Cherish it.” Oreo Queen

Speaking of Oreos, there is something about them, which makes them a favourite. Whether had direct or as an add-on, Oreos provide a wonderful accompaniment to most desserts and even breakfast pancake batter, smoothies and summer shakes. Keeping nutrition and dietary restriction aside, Oreos are a lifesaver. When the breakfast cereal gets boring, it is those crushed Oreos that make the welcome change. When the groans surface at “dosa again for breakfast!!”, the added crushed Oreos to the batter make way for the change in their minds and the scramble for more.

Above all, like everything with chocolate, Oreos help to make bad days bearable. With plenty of happy moments, these biscuit sandwiches would occupy their fair share of the grocery list.

“Of course, that rationalization didn’t work at all. It would have helped if I’d had some Oreo cookie ice cream to eat that the same time. I’ve learned that self-delusion is much easier when there’s something sweet in your mouth.” Lee Goldberg

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Photography Art, Quotes, Stories Around the World, Work

Standing Strong

One of the longest suspension bridges of those days, this hybrid cable-stayed or suspension bridge; it was opened on May 24, 1883 to be the first fixed crossing over the East River, connecting the boroughs of Manhattan and Brooklyn. Renamed to Brooklyn Bridge (1915), proposals for this bridge were made in the early 19th century with the design plan initiated by architect John A. Roebling a famed canal engineer and bridge designer, completed by his son Washington A. Roebling. In those times, the initial design plans were considered to be a feat highly improbable to be accomplished. Yet applying the concepts of the known studies into practice in the modernization process, use of the wire-rope concept, suspension principles, anchorages and caissons.

“This is the vocation of our own and of every age: to grasp the knowledge that already exists, to make it our own, and in so doing to develop it further and raise it to a higher level; in thus appropriating it to ourselves we make it something different than it was before.” Georg Friedrich Wilhelm Hegel (1770-1831)

During during the initial surveys, an accident saw the amputation of Jon A. Roebling’s crushed toes, resulting in a tetanus infection leaving him in incapacitated and untimely death (June-July, 1869). As his son, Washington A. Roebling took over the project, the construction of the bridge continued and several improvements were made on the bridge design and the building of the two large pneumatic caissons which became the foundation of the two towers. Unfortunately a fire onsite (1870) in one of the pneumatic caissons caused him to suffer from decompression sickness, severely affecting his health and rendering him unable to move, talk or even visit the site.

Determined to continue the project, he had developed a code of communication with his wife using the only finger that he could move and tapping out the instructions against her arm. As for his wife, Emily Warren Roebling, she taught herself bridge construction, continued the day-to-day supervision and project management among other duties of the chief engineer. As recorded in McCullough’s The Great Bridge (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1972) that “nowhere in the history of great undertakings is there anything comparable” to Roebling conducting the largest and most difficult engineering project ever “in absentia.”

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” Arnold Schwarzenegger

Over the years, undergoing subtle changes and renovations, the Brooklyn Bridge still stands tall, a witness to exemplary will, strength and belief in ow dream, even in the face of strenuous hardship and hurdles. This great bridge recounts one of the most inspiring tales of motivation, perseverance and determination to own up their dream and make them come true.

In the face of repeated roadblocks, both father, son and his wife never gave up their dream. Though adversaries were rampant, they still found a way around it and completed one of the most finest structures in architecture, laying down a strong bind to the infrastructure that helped the economy flourish.

Each of us have our own set of snags as we set about a project. While some may be on a physical level, others may be at the personal front, or psychological or emotional extent. Facing all these impediments, one must always keep their true dream close to their heart. Where one can get support, take help. To know own strengths through struggles takes immense courage and iron will to stay on course and make sure it happens. As long as one thinks, plans, moves ahead, knows and firmly believes that one can do it, one will.