Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Driving Force of Love

“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” Victor Hugo

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman, in his 80s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry and that he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs, and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On examination, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redressed his wound. While taking care of him, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had a doctor’s appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for awhile and was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease. As we talked and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, and hadn’t recognized him in five years. I was surprised, and asked him, “And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?” He smiled and patted my hand and said, “She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.”

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Lao Tzu

When a couple starts off in their journey in life together, they slowly learn about each other, work through difficulties and despite the faults that each has, they overlook them because of love, as the latter has no limits, tally marks, check posts or boundaries. As time progresses and disease catches up with age, losing the treasured moments is disheartening for all. Yet despite the disease that strikes, the bonds of true love of one is strong enough to hold both. This story that I had read exemplifies the fact that whether true love has no time limit.

“The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is focused attention.” Richard Warren

The art of love doesn’t lie in the lone act of giving gifts or worldly pleasures. It lies in giving your time to understand the other person, what they are going through whether it be joy or sorrow, triumphs or difficulties. For the strings of love will be strong to bind both through trying times when the love grows and strengthens over time. In fact our actions speak louder than the words that we say or the words that we write, although they are important as well. Amidst the daily schedule, take out some time for each other so that you learn about each other and find some quiet time to rejuvenate, find peace and share moments as well as memories for later.

“Love is not only something you feel, it is something you do.” David Wilkerson

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Quotes, Stories Around the World

The Three Sieves

“Think before you speak. Read before you think.” Fran Lebowitz

The greatest ability that puts man apart from the rest of the oxygen dependent genres is the ability to read, write, think, comprehend and speak various languages understood with all of his kind. The gift of verbal and non-verbal communication of man is at a higher level than the rest of the living species.

“There is a time and a place for things. Sometimes one needs to put a filter on oneself. That can be a good thing.” Tori Amos

Which is why before we say something rash or simply repeat the hearsay, think if doing so is worth the time, effort, energy as well as the consequences and the aftermath. The wheel of time is such that it can be only move forward. Once a particular event has happened for good or bad, we can’t change it but only deal with it or take corrective measures.

“Speak only if it improves upon the silence.” Mahatma Gandhi

Unless we learn to sieve our words and thoughts when we tweet, speak or cast them to the world around us; we would end up with a whole load of regrets, guilt and uneasiness. It is easy to fill in conversation gaps, catch attention or be the first with the information; yet unless it is true, beneficial, required, non intrusive and kind; saying nothing is more restful to oneself and others as well.

“Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you invest, investigate. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try. Before you retire, save. Before you die, give.” William Arthur Ward

“One day, the old wise Socrates walks down the streets, when all of the sudden a man runs up to him “Socrates I have to tell you something about your friend who…”
“Hold up” Socrates interrupts him “About the story you’re about to tell me, did you put it trough the three sieves?”
“Three sieves?” The man asks “What three sieves?”
“Let’s try it” Socrates says.
“The first sieve is the one of truth, did you examine what you were about to tell me if it is true?” Socrates asks.
“Well no, I just overheard it” The man says.
“Ah, well then you have used the second sieve, the sieve of good?” Socrates asks “Is it something good what you’re about to tell me?”
“Ehm no, on the contrary” the man answers.
“Hmmm” The wise man says “Let’s use the third sieve then, is it necessary to tell me what you’re so exited about?”
“No not necessary” the man says.
“Well” Socrates says with a smile “If the story you’re about to tell me isn’t true, good or necessary, just forget it and don’t bother me with it.”
Socrates

Posted in Life, Personal Musings, Quotes

The Bucket List

The 2007 movie “The Bucket List”, a comedy-drama film revolves around two terminally ill men on their road trip with a wish list of things to do before they “kick the bucket”. The screenplay was written by Justin Zackham with the word “bucket list” and had started off the trend of listing down what one wants to do before they die.

At first dreams seem impossible, then improbable, then inevitable. Christopher Reeve

Although the concept of “bucket list” was officially there since 2006, the wish-list has been there before. Though not documented, many have had their list of wishes and desires to do, especially when faced with crippling uncertainty of their existence. Yet as the movie brought this to a highlight, many had began to jot down their list and started to cross off what they wanted to achieve in their short span of time. Eventually the trend shifted to university and college, where the list began with as long as fifty to hundred things to do before one meet their eventual end.

“Don’t worry, I plan on living a long time.”
“Why are you making a bucket list, then?”
“Because if you wait until you’re really dying, it’s too late.”  Gayle Forman

“What is the purpose ? Do we need it ? I am still young and I have time”. While these questions used to churn around in the mind, the best answer would be “yes”. Everyone needs something to look forward to, especially when they are in the dumps or caught in the mundane chaos of life. When we list down what we want to do, not the daily or weekly “to-do’s” but the desires and events we want to do so as to experience the fun and beauty of living; it makes every drab day more interesting. Besides helping us to look forward, “listing our favourite things to do” helps to retain a sense of positivism, balance, feeling of lightness and being alive. Unknown to us, jotting down our bucket list helps to battle the depressive mentality that takes root in us at times.

“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss, but that it is too low and we reach it.” Michelangelo

Is there a limit ? There is no limit or confinement to the “n” number of things you can do. It can be simple, weird, quiet or adventurous; it doesn’t really matter as “your bucket list” is for you, about you and what you would like. Despite the “busy days”, find time to make one soon, before time snatches you away. For those of us who have a list and never got to do anything about it, find few minutes daily to make it happen. Out of the 86400 seconds allotted to us, 1800 seconds doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface. When we start the small steps, we realize that we are slowly crossing off the items off our wish list and soon will find time for the bigger ones. Let the bucket list happen, as the feeling of elation and completion can be better felt than explained.

“I wanna go on a road trip someday. Alone or with someone I love. I wanna get away. Explore places. Sleep in the car. Stop a lot just to admire the view. Visit museums and try out coffee shops. Listen to my favorite albums while driving. Have a Polaroid camera. Take pretty pictures of the sunrise. Take pictures of myself. Run through a forest. Chase fog. Chase the sun. Spend hours on a field making flower crowns. Feel the wind in my hair. Buy souvenirs. Meet people. Take time to observe. I wanna make memories. I wanna feel alive.” — Things on my bucket list

Posted in Family and Society, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Seeking the Truth

“Truth is never a straight line; it is a circle that will take you back to what you know, in order to challenge your belief in what is fair, what is real, what is forgivable, what is not and what type of person will you become today now that you know.” Shannon L. Alder

Many a time we are in a state of wondering what are the criterion of declaring the truth. Is it as per the majority or is it based on logical,factual or ethical understanding. In reality, the existence of the truth to self is an abstract measure of perspective of one person that another person might disagree with. What might true at one point of time might be wrong when scrutinized at another point along the time frame. Why do we seek the truth so badly ? Is it to put to rest the rising doubts and questions in the mind? Or is it to seek a code of conduct or rules to live by ? Whatever may the reason be, unless the truth resonates with our thinking and mind frame, we are always in doubt of it.

“It is not the possession of truth, but the success which attends the seeking after it, that enriches the seeker and brings happiness to him.” Max Planck

In our search for the identity of self and finding the certainty of our existence, being true to oneself matters the most. While one piece may not make sense, the jigsaw puzzles put together make the picture whole and complete as well as the concept clear. For time had made truth both objective and subjective as well as relative to absolute, but as long it sets the mind free it is worth the search.

The seeker of truth

After years of searching, the seeker was told to go to a cave, in which he would find a well. ‘Ask the well what is truth’, he was advised, ‘and the well will reveal it to you’. Having found the well, the seeker asked that most fundamental question. And from the depths came the answer, ‘Go to the village crossroad: there you shall find what you are seeking’.Full of hope and anticipation the man ran to the crossroad to find only three rather uninteresting shops. One shop was selling pieces of metal, another sold wood, and thin wires were for sale in the third. Nothing and no one there seemed to have much to do with the revelation of truth.

Disappointed, the seeker returned to the well to demand an explanation, but he was told only, ‘You will understand in the future.’ When the man protested, all he got in return were the echoes of his own shouts. Indignant for having been made a fool of – or so he thought at the time – the seeker continued his wanderings in search of truth. As years went by, the memory of his experience at the well gradually faded until one night, while he was walking in the moonlight, the sound of sitar music caught his attention. It was wonderful music and it was played with great mastery and inspiration. Profoundly moved, the truth seeker felt drawn towards the player. He looked at the fingers dancing over the strings. He became aware of the sitar itself. And then suddenly he exploded in a cry of joyous recognition: the sitar was made out of wires and pieces of metal and wood just like those he had once seen in the three stores and had thought it to be without any particular significance.

At last he understood the message of the well: we have already been given everything we need: our task is to assemble and use it in the appropriate way. Nothing is meaningful so long as we perceive only separate fragments. But as soon as the fragments come together into a synthesis, a new entity emerges, whose nature we could not have foreseen by considering the fragments alone.

Posted in Christian, Life, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Curious not Judgemental

An elderly man with a 25-year-old son entered the train car and took their seats. The young man sat by the window. As soon as the train started moving, he put his hand out the window to feel the flow of air and suddenly shouted in admiration: “Dad, you see, all the trees are coming back!” The older man smiled back. Next to the young man was a married couple. They were a bit confused by the fact that a 25-year-old man behaves like a little child. Suddenly young man again shouted in delight: “Dad, you see the lake and the animals … The clouds go with the train!”  The couple shyly watched the strange behavior of a young man, in which his father did not seem to find anything strange. It began to rain, and raindrops touched the young man’s hand. He again became overwhelmed with joy and closed his eyes. And then he shouted: “Dad, it’s raining, the water touches me! See, Dad ?” Wanting to help with something, the couple sitting next to her asked the elderly man:“ Why won’t you take your son to some clinic for a consultation?” An elderly man replied: “We have just come from the clinic. Today, my son, for the first time in his life, has acquired his sight … ”

It is impossible to judge the affairs and actions of other people without having all the knowledge. Only God possesses the fullness of knowledge. Therefore, “Judge not, that ye be not judged!”

This is an interesting post that I had come across my social pages, although I am not sure about the original author or source. What set me thinking was that, n scenarios similar to the above, was there a better way to frame the question to allay the curiosity. For instance, a more polite way of asking would be, “Isn’t this journey interesting ?” or state “Your son loves train journeys.” If then the father is willing to open up and talk, then it would be fine. Even if that doesn’t happen, by keen observation one can deduce a number of things from any situation.

“Be curious, not judgemental.” Walt Whitman

There is a fine line between curiosity and being judgemental. The latter refers to holding an opinion; decide upon critically; to infer, think or hold as an opinion; conclude about or assess or to act like a judge; passing verbal or mental comments with or without assessing the situation in totality. No one can know about the other, unless each one decides to share their story. For that to happen, we would be able to hear others, once we keep quiet, stop thinking or supposing and listen to their entire narrative.

“If we had no faults of our own, we should not take so much pleasure in noticing those in others and judging their lives as either black or white, good or bad. We all live our lives in shades of gray.”- Shannon L.Alder

As we go about the day, take care to be curious but not assign any opinion, label or be prejudiced in our behaviour without viewing the entire picture. Each time we weigh other in the mental scale, think twice before we start the process. Only when we are weighed in the scale do we realize how much our worth actually weighs against the lives that we lead.

Posted in Daily, Food, Quotes

Evolution of Pastry

“All food starting with p is comfort food: pasta, potato chips, pretzels, peanut butter, pastrami, Pizza, pastry.” Sara Paretsky

One of the most difficult comfort foods to master in the kitchen is the pastry. Unlike regular cuisine, all the measures have to be in exact precision, proportion as well as timing. Too much and too little handling damages it. Despite all this, mastering few types of pastry gives every “home kitchen cook” a profound sense of accomplishment as well as delightful treats on holidays for the entire family.

Pastry is different from cooking because you have to consider the chemistry, beauty and flavor. It’s not just sugar and eggs thrown together. I tell my pastry chefs to be in tune for all of this. You have to be challenged by using secret or unusual ingredients. Ron Ben-Israel

A dough of flour, water and shortening (solid fats, including butter) that may be savoury or sweetened is what encompasses pastry. From sweet to savoury, many kinds of baked products are made of ingredients such as flour, sugar, milk, butter, shortening, baking powder and eggs, although the sweeter version are often known as baker’s confectionery. Pies, tarts, quiches and pasties are the common pastry dishes with minor variations that come under their labeling. Today with ready-made pastry dough available, homemade pastry as become a little easy especially when schedules gets a bit hectic.

To make a full-blooded puff pastry, you need time, you need patience, and you need precision. It’s all about the lamination: it’s all about building up the layers of butter, dough, butter, dough; as the butter melts, it creates steam, and that brings up the layers of the two doughs apart from each other, and that’s what gives it the rise. Paul Hollywood

From shortcrust pastry to puff pastries, the evolution of various varieties has been synchronous with time, tradition, locale flavours and culture. Like many of the desserts, the tradition of pastry making started off as early as the era of Egyptians, Phoenicians, Greeks and Romans. Although the initial pastry covers over dishes were not meant to be eaten but used for baking to keep the juices in. The medieval cuisine of Europe had a breakthrough with pastry chefs using shortening and butter to make stiff pastries as well as newer techniques like the raised hot water crust initiated in the 14th century. Unlike the earlier processes which had used oil, causing the pastry to lose its stiffness. Towards middle of 16th century pastry recipes have been written, adopted and altered to the local flavour and availability.

I was drawn to bakery and pastry. It’s the same discipline you employ in dance – you take the instruction, and you keep on practicing, seeking perfection. You never achieve it, but you strive. Ron Ben-Israel

Although the pastry making traditions were different in the East and the West with different types of flour even rice flour going into the mix for the former. With the advent of travel and international cultural exchange, in the 19th century the trends of pastry making in Asia began to include a bit from the West. Once considered as a mere cover for dishes to be thrown away; today with a wide varied range pastry has become portable from creative miniature arts to eye-catching centerpieces as well as a culinary sheet for rich creative toppings and fillings of colourful, edible and delectable delights adding a bit of sparkle to make fusion varieties along with the classic recipes.

“The fine arts are five in number, namely: painting, sculpture, poetry, music, and architecture, the principal branch of the latter being pastry.” Marie-Antoine Careme

With a wide variety of cultural diversity and advancement of technology, Indian kitchens have been experimenting with sweet pies, tarts, Bougatsa of Greece, Danish pastry, Baklava, Apple strudel among the gulab jamuns, jalebis and Chatti pathiris that we have had since our childhood. Personally for me, I think tarts or sweet pies especially apple pies are way easier even with lack of oven, as a pressure cooker or crock pot on stove-tops can suffice. Although pastry making can lead to a kitchen disaster if not done with care, the satisfied feeling makes the experimentation worth the effort.

“A pastry usually tastes better if it looks nice. A cream pastry, now that looks nice – in fact, there is nothing I mind as long as it looks nice.” Arne Jacobsen

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, poetry, Quotes

Bring the Warmth to December

As the days go by, entering into the last month of this year brings to mind hours of being busy with festive, celebrations and thanksgiving. Despite being busy, the time can be considered well spent as long as we root ourselves in reality and open our eyes to what is happening around us, instead of getting completely lost in the gaiety.

“It is December, and nobody asked if I was ready.” Sarah Kay

The cold wintry days of December and the overwhelming feeling of the year end closing in, can be made warm by the human attributes of love and kindness. Amidst all the hustle and bustle, it would be better to not lose sight of the true spirit of humaneness. For then we would realize, that joys shared are memories to be cherished for rainy days of the future.

“I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their old, familiar carols play, And wild and sweet the words repeat Of peace on earth, good-will to men!” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Such a warm December. And so hopelessly cold.
Heartlessly stiffens under a crust of ice.
People are like cars. In the crazy bustle of the New Year
All are running somewhere. It is not clear why and where.

Here is a game. The one who knows the rules is playing.
There is no life outside the game,
everything is decided by skill and rank.
Who is not too handsome and not too smart – leaves the
game and lives on the side of life alone.

I used a little heat – warm up, and a little light.
I see a hearth in the temple and collect rags running.
But the guard at the entrance mutters to me that the entrance with tickets,
Who is rich and handsome, bought up places to the hearth.

Such a sad December. And so hopelessly cold.
All who thirst for warmth, all those who have not got a place,
In poverty there is hope for the goodness and mercy of  God

Margarita Kolomiytseva