Posted in Family and Society, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Rein in the Fist

Though the holiday mode has started, with travel to tourist places restricted; it is the woods and the farm fields that have occupied most of the spare childhood hours, thus making the work at home option feasible for a few days. Which is why while making my entries in the excel spreadsheet, a sudden clatter of metal and cries of pain forced to make a rush to the pantry where I caught the young one with his hand stuck in the jar of crisps and in the mute howling phase. Like the monkey who trapped his hand in the jar, a couple of minutes he lit off before I could settle the scene and deal with the fiasco.

Reliving those moments over the pre-lunch tea session, the morning incident reminded me of the monkey’s hand which had caught in the jar for the fistful of cookies were too big to come out through the mouth of the jar. Just like the monkey, we adults too grab whatever our fists can hold, resulting in biting more than one can chew and staying stuck in the big jar of “life” getting stuck knee-deep when retreat would have been feasible.

“So the unwanting soul sees what’s hidden,
and the ever-wanting soul sees only what it wants.”
Lao Tzu

Growing up, the stress was often laid on being successful, making something profitable out of life and the ventures that we do. As we mature, one experiences the profits and gains and basks in their glory. Eventually one may lose sight of the more important things in life, realizing that their hold on those things have been lost. Once when one realizes that the really important things in life have been lost, then those material profits and gain become completely worthless.

“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.” Socrates

Defining when to rein in the profits and close down the run for amassing more, or just to continue on, rests on what one considers important close to their heart. Greed is one of those things that can infiltrate any stage of success silently, grow therein and create complete unrest in a subtle manner, such that one realizes that the profits gained were meaningless in context of the damage wrought.

One should make most out of any venture, trying for it to be a success on all fronts. Yet the highlight is to rein the urge to confine all the glory to one, amass more or just hoard the rewards. By letting go a bit of that fist, one can enjoy a bit of the reward then instead of losing out to a worse predicament later on. Also one could grab less or just a handful and share it out, so that rewards enjoyed around would life a lot more fun, happy and joyful; just enough to fit into each of our fists.

The Greedy Mouse
A greedy mouse saw a basket full of corn. He wanted to eat all of the corn so he made a small hole in the basket. He squeezed in through the hole. He ate a lot of corn until he was full and was very happy. Now he wanted to come out. He tried to come out through the small hole. He could not. His belly was full. He tried again. But it was of no use. The mouse started crying. A rabbit was passing by. It heard the mouse’s cry and asked, “Why are you crying, my friend?” The mouse explained, “I made a small hole and came into the basket to eat the corn. Now I am not able to get out through that hole.”

The rabbit said, “It is because you ate too much. Wait till your belly shrinks.” The rabbit laughed and went away. The mouse fell asleep in the basket. The next morning his belly had shrunk. But he wanted to eat some more corn. He forgot all about getting out of the basket. So he ate the corn and his belly was really big again.After eating, the mouse remembered that he had to escape. But obviously, he could not. So he thought, “Oh! Now I will go out tomorrow.” The cat was the next passerby. He smelt the mouse in the basket. He lifted its lid and ate the mouse.

Posted in Family and Society, Personal Musings, Quotes, Reflections, Work

More than Exist

While working in the first job opportunity after college, my brother had to move out to the new city. Over the next couple of months as the call duration and frequency to home decreased, my parents’ radar went into full frequency mode and it had grabbed yours truly. After all a couple of calls, the instinct sense that something was wrong was pretty strong. Whether it was by His Grace that a work travel opportunity had presented itself to his office or just a matter of chance; making the visit was an eye-opener. The short phone conversations and the decreased frequency of calls wasn’t just due to work stress but the unhappiness in doing something which he never wanted to. Though it took plenty of courage and risks; he did get out of the mess and went on to another office doing the advertisement projects that he had trained and wanted to.

“Get action. Do things; be sane; don’t fritter away your time; create, act, take a place wherever you are and be somebody; get action.” Theodore Roosevelt

We all get stuck in those unexpected ruts. Full of promise and hope of what was once good, mayn’t seem so a couple of months later. That is when it is time to call a temporary halt to reexamine the situation and find a path out. The tussle is between the surety of the present and the uncertainty of the next that causes one to choose the former. Yet in the long run, it isn’t just existence that drives one person forward, but the courage to take the path to do what one loves to do.

“We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us even in our soundest sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavour. It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.” Henry David Thoreau

The inner spirit has to stay strong. When things may go downhill for a time, take a break and choose to do something about it. Even though it may be a late attempt, but it is way better than to just exist. It is that spark in each of us, that gives the glow and a special meaning to the gift of life, time and love that we all have been fortunate to be blessed with.

Credo
by Jack London

I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark
should burn out in a brilliant blaze
than it should be stifled by dry-rot.

I would rather be a superb meteor
every atom of me in magnificent glow
than a sleepy and permanent planet.

The function of man is to live
not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.

 

Posted in Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes

Not as the Speculation

“Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined.” Toni Morrison

Preparations for the silver jubilee of the high school batch had begun well in advance, almost a year ahead. From inquiries among batch-mates about schedules, plans and venues to coordinating with the present school and alumni council, no stone was left unturned to reconnect with all members of the same batch year. Catching up to the present day, there was a couple of surprises in store for everyone. Besides the personal additions to the class, there were the professional landmarks and various talents that had come into play over the years; all which were way off the conjectures based on the know of the high school years.

“Those who have knowledge, don’t predict. Those who predict, don’t have knowledge.” Lao Tzu

No matter how many suppositions one may presume, the reality may be something near the perceived or far off the mark. At times, it is more of the latter that makes one realize that at times perceived notions can be way out of the expected. As each of us had made our way into the world, shedding off the cloaks of the teenage years and entering into the young adult stage; not one of us would have been able to exactly predict the directions that we would turn. While for some of us, the final destination of the present day is close to the dream we had seen; for few others the present reality is way better than the future views held in the mind of those days.

“Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day.” Suzy Kassem

Whether the top scorer of the class reaches the pinnacle of success or the one with low grades runs his own company; towards the end of the day all those don’t matter. Neither does each of us have the power to completely judge or label one, neither does one like to labelled or judged. Whether the scorer of those days is successful today or not, it doesn’t affect the present day lives of most of us. As long as one is content from within, the true essence of life is then experienced. Though guess-work and suppositions may be nowhere near the reality, it doesn’t matter as long as each of us are happy in our own paths. And that is the true beauty of life, to feel and explore the dreams, aspiration and talents closest to the heart.

The heartthrob of the school, is a man grim and somber.
That lanky little girl, is now a weightlifter.
The topper of the class, is a happy homemaker.
Back bencher of the lot, is an entrepreneur.
The flamboyant fashionista, became a dreaded lawyer.
Oft ignored average Joe, turned a well known writer.
The one who failed math paper, is a fashion designer,
And one who often got to stand outside the class, is a respected army officer.
The reunion taught me how, people came with many layers, and tell me why should we never, judge a book by its cover.
Anjali Sharma

Posted in Daily, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes

Step Back, Rest..Move Ahead

A while back, with new addition of a sister-in-law to the family, the entire family tree, complete with two generations of grandparent siblings and their couples as well as the next generation of siblings, cousins and respective families, had decided for a family meet at one of the hilltop enclaves. While the journey was breath-taking, getting there was a series of “ups” and “downs”, similar to a roller coaster ride, albeit the loops and screaming. With the constant tug-of-war with time, we had yet again run short of time and navigating out of the city was a mess.

As we took turns, shifted gears and made our way, complete with kids, dog and other paraphernalia; it was the rests at the quintessential cafe’s and inns on the way that put us in a good mood the entire journey. Despite the nagging worry of whether we would be there, none of us forget to appreciate the view and the journey and take snapshot memories of the same. Finally we did get to the hilltop in time, with no regrets for the length of the journey or the hassles faced. The views accompanied by the moments of joy, laughter, peace and happiness made up, much more and beyond for the tedious drive up-hill.

“Some beautiful paths can’t be discovered without getting lost.” Erol Ozan

Driving uphill or unknown roads and off-beaten paths is something that we often feel in a similar vein, in our daily life. One really doesn’t need to be aligned with the wheel, but even on foot it takes plenty of effort to go up and against the pull downwards. When the pull gets too strong, stopping for a while to rest makes a big difference. Each of us have our own set of winding roads. Though one mayn’t manage to navigate through on the first few tries, losing heart doesn’t get us anywhere. Instead rest to rejuvenate and recharge, gather the courage to reassess, reclaim own strengths and travel again along the same or slightly altered but right paths. Eventually one will get there when the mind, soul and spirit go hand in hand. The view from the road uphill around, above and below makes every arduous climb worth the effort. That is what the essence of the drive and life in totality, is all about.

“It’s easier to go down a hill than up it but the view is much better at the top.” Henry Ward Beecher

Up-Hill

Does the road wind up-hill all the way?
Yes, to the very end.
Will the day’s journey take the whole long day?
From morn to night, my friend.

But is there for the night a resting-place?
A roof for when the slow dark hours begin.
May not the darkness hide it from my face?
You cannot miss that inn.

Shall I meet other wayfarers at night?
Those who have gone before.
Then must I knock, or call when just in sight?
They will not keep you standing at that door.

Shall I find comfort, travel-sore and weak?
Of labour you shall find the sum.
Will there be beds for me and all who seek?
Yea, beds for all who come.
– Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections

Below the Surface

“Errors, like straws, upon the surface flow;
He who would search for pearls, must dive below.”
John Dryden, All for Love

A school visit to the local underwater aquarium had lead to an exuberant eight year old going on and on about how big it was, the funny stringy umbrella creature with many legs (jelly fish), bright coloured fishes with funny noses as well as the rich colours of the underwater life. Among his expressions of surprise and wonder, what caught my mind was the comment that “no one would see all this if we just go to the beach alone, we need to go inside the ocean.” One would wholeheartedly agree with this. A quiet day at a beach would never give cause for one to imagine that there is another world teeming below the blue waters.

“A human being has so many skins inside, covering the depths of the heart. We know so many things, but we don’t know ourselves! Why, thirty or forty skins or hides, as thick and hard as an ox’s or bear’s, cover the soul. Go into your own ground and learn to know yourself there.” Meister Eckhart

The essence of human life is similar to the depths of the ocean. On the surface, each of us have our own basic essentials, food, clothing and shelter. Yet to feel complete, one needs to go beyond the creature comforts. Each of us need to find our own meaning in life, not just to find a purpose or define ourselves but also to feel complete when doing so. The innate human potential is boundless. It is only when one takes the step into the unknown waters, that one can challenge themselves to be better and explore the hidden talents.

To breach beyond the surface requirements requires one to pursue their instincts and challenges to use the present strengths to become something more. The only care to be taken is to know that the difference between the ocean and the quicksand. As for the ocean, no matter how big or deep it is; knowing to put in a full set of diving gear and air supply tank is what counts the decision to stay for how long. To experience the joys of the sea-world, one must know to stay in with the reasoning to pull out as soon as required. To enjoy experiences and explore the hidden, a cautious touch to the mind with a realistic approach does help one to look beneath the surface and bring wonders for the soul.

“The desert and the ocean are realms of desolation on the surface.
The desert is a place of bones, where the innards are turned out, to desiccate into dust.
The ocean is a place of skin, rich outer membranes hiding thick juicy insides, laden with the soup of being.
Inside out and outside in. These are worlds of things that implode or explode, and the only catalyst that determines the direction of eco-movement is the balance of water.
Both worlds are deceptive, dangerous. Both, seething with hidden life.
The only veil that stands between perception of what is underneath the desolate surface is your courage.
Dare to breach the surface and sink.”
Vera Nazarian

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, Quotes, Random Thoughts

Price to “Fit In”

When my cousins had recently relocated to the city courtesy of their promotions, the whole bandwagon followed with kids as well as their dogs. Complete with change of residence, there was a change of schools for both the kids. Attending the new junior high was fun for my nephew, but for my niece who had relocated to middle school, it was a different situation. Over long distance calls and chats, the discussion of peer groups as well as cliches came about. Reflecting back on the entire scenario reminded me of my days at college life, wherein the same emotions ran though, that of a new place, new friends as well as the attempts to fit in.

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.” Mandy Hale

As each of us shift through the various stages of life, the common thread through the undercurrent of emotions is the desire or longing to belong. Whether the belonging is to a particular person or set of people, a common cause or simply a feeling of being needed; these “belongings” fills a void we perceive is there within us. Although at times, we  think we could but we mayn’t be able to belong at all. When this “belonging” results us in losing our identity, self-worth and feeling of happiness and peace within, it is time to stop, introspect as well as retrospect. If in the course of the “belonging” we lose ourselves, then the outcome may cause significant damaging effect, far beyond the expected.

“Want to know the truth about belonging?
It takes courage to belong.
It takes bravery to show up in your own skin.
It’s easy to fit in.
It’s easy to blend in and hide your outrageousness.
And it’s also the easiest way to lose the precious parts of you.
You deserve to be seen. You deserve to be heard. You deserve to be known for the real deal that you are.
Stop taking the easy way out. Stop trying to fit in.
The best place in life is where you’re already okay.
Come home to you. It’s where you belong.”
Anne Bechard

While belonging is important, losing own identity and principles destroys the comfort of “belonging”. More than fitting in, we all need to be pitch in to better ourselves each day as it comes.

Life is always a learning curve. Yet if the “belonging” results in one losing own essence, it is time to switch tracks to prevent further catastrophe. We “belong” best to ourselves. By being true to own essence, one discovers that by just fitting in, we mayn’t be happy. But by being true and stepping up to own beat makes the difference in each day worth living and fighting for.

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Photography Art, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

Reality of Empowerment

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.” Charlotte Brontë 

Entering into morning hours of the international day symbolizing the empowerment of women while bringing them to an equal footing with men (especially as far as civic rights are concerned); this day marks the long struggle in breaking down the barriers laid down by the society of then. While this day may or mayn’t be commemorated in a special manner, this day holds a significant meaning.

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.” Coco Chanel

Empowerment by itself means, “the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.” While this may be used more in terms of social, civic and human rights; there is a bigger spectrum beyond this. While as a child we all dream big, of doing the daring, being adventurous and focusing on our own passions. Somewhere along the line, we loose track of all these and think of the future days on the society that we live of today. In order to provide the daily bread and butter, we often change tracks and off the path. Along the way, most of us may get stuck in the rut; while a few of us may take charge later and do a little of things that we all dreamt to do. Yet there are still some of us, who start off working on our dreams, but along the way the rut deepens and we get stuck again.

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” Steve Maraboli

Empowerment includes us finding ourselves a way out of the rut. Getting out of the confines of society and seeking own dreams, involves tremendous strength and courage. Our life is more or less like the train on the railway tracks. Some of the destinations are known but unexpected landslides do occur and detours are made. By empowering own-selves and getting around those rocks. makes each of our own views breathtaking and spectacular; than being mere copycats of a kind. While the tracks of the train may be set to prevent the derail; at times finding the smaller routes with due care and caution, gives a view better beyond our wildest imagination.

The Railway Train
by Emily Dickinson

I like to see it lap the miles,
And lick the valleys up,
And stop to feed itself at tanks;
And then, prodigious, step

Around a pile of mountains,
And, supercilious, peer
In shanties by the sides of roads;
And then a quarry pare

To fit its sides, and crawl between,
Complaining all the while
In horrid, hooting stanza;
Then chase itself down hill

And neigh like Boanerges;
Then, punctual as a star,
Stop — docile and omnipotent —
At its own stable door.