Reflections – Page 28 – Sugar And Spice… Among Other Things

Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Firefly among the Butterflies

Posted on December 20, 2018October 24, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

In a playground, a crowd of children will be involved in a game with one or two kids coordinating the game. Some days sitting a little apart, one would find a child scribbling away on a piece of paper, few would be just watching while one would be trying to climb a tree instead and the other may be watching a ladybug crawl in the ground.

Fast forward a few years ahead, among the bunch of college goers, few would shine at the events, some behind the scene to make the event happen while others watch the show. Yet there will few who prefer to curl up with a good book, or sketch their dreams and designs or enjoy creating what they fancy in the kitchen.

As the college goers grow, some become the life of the party, some become the charismatic leader who can make things happen by encouraging others to scale the wall while others enter the groups of people who follows the order so that the final outcome would be beneficial to all. And yet among all of group, there would be a few who would be silently lost in their world of books, poetry, art, animation, photography, writing indulging in what they love and glowing there. Yet if they are stuck in the mould of the world for long, the light in them dies.

“I had a dream about you last night. I was alone on a dark night and you came to me as a firefly. I knew it was you because you were the brightest.” Crystal Hudson

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We label one group of people introverts and other as extroverts. Yet the author Rachel Stafford refers to them as fireflies and butterflies. She discovered these terms during a conversation with her 7 year old daughter. Her daughter had described a school activity that day where the teacher asked, “What is Your Favorite Insect?” Stafford’s daughter said that her favorite insect was the firefly even though the other students in the class chose the butterfly. She admitted to her mother that sometimes she fills different at school as a firefly. Stafford told her daughter that she agreed that her little girl was very much a firefly because she shines from within. She assured her daughter that Stafford’s role as a mother was to protect that light and asked her daughter to let her know when others at school tried to dim her light.

The world does not need a large number of “successful people” or extroverts alone. The planet desperately needs peacekeepers, restorers, storytellers, writers, dreamers and thinkers. She needs all people to live well with. There are a lot of fireflies among us, in our family and at our workplaces as well as daily interactions. The world needs both the butterflies and fireflies. Extinction of one will affect the other and surplus of one will imbalance the entire ecosystem. While fireflies will shine when it’s their time, it’s important to not kill their light.

“Don’t be anyone’s firefly in a jar! A lot of people are attracted to the light. Some are also intimidated by it. They selfishly try to keep it for themselves. Sometimes it happens so fast, you don’t even realize you’re being captured. There is magic within you that will suffocate in a jar. If you wake up one morning and realize there’s a lid above you, do whatever it takes to free yourself. Life is much better beyond the jar. The world needs your light! Shine, Baby, shine!” Sheri Fink

The fireflies among our children, family and friends have to be encouraged, cared and helped instead of being suppressed, laughed on and imprisoned or remodeled into another frame. Each firefly has their own special light or spark that brings the magic to the night and add little light to the dark. As for the fireflies out there, keep of on shining, singing and creating the special light, knowing that each courageous firefly is special with their own light and own area to shine. Remember, no butterfly can shine like the firefly.

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Family and Society, Reflections

Gearing for the Holiday Season

Posted on December 16, 2018November 2, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Holidays – any holiday – are such a great opportunity to focus on bringing the family together. Lidia Bastianich

Come December, across many countries families come together, friends meet up, work schedules get hectic and team up so as to bring together the close of the year. In some places while the financial year may be of a different time frame, the last month of the year still holds a special place with schools closing for Christmas, offices, workplaces and even hospitals gearing up for some holiday cheer as well as couples, friends and families going to new places to celebrate the end of the year and welcome the next one.

I like to compare the holiday season with the way a child listens to a favorite story. The pleasure is in the familiar way the story begins, the anticipation of familiar turns it takes, the familiar moments of suspense, and the familiar climax and ending.Fred Rogers

One of the challenges of the holiday season is not to get completely lost within the web of pure commercialization with shopping sprees, parties around the clock and the whole gala of the year end. No doubt we need them too, but with the whole family and friends getting free time for the season, submerging ourselves into the consumer aspect alone is a dimming outlook. One of the essential things that we can give others is time. Take out some time this holiday season and spend it with our family and friends. Spend some time with those who we are in irregular contact with. Share your precious time with children, extended family and community so that we create good memories as well as foster our relationships for better.

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Thoughts turn to other’s just a little more this time of year. Days grow shorter and memories grow longer. Families and friends gather in celebration or hope. Giving is a reflection of our love and caring for each other and those less fortunate. May your thoughts turn to gratitude this holiday season and carry on throughout the next year. James A. Murphy

For those of us who are always short of time especially during holidays, one of the best ways to free up some time is not to simply organize but prioritize as well as delegate the work. Toddlers running underfoot would love spending some time with the baking batter, cutting up dough for cookies or having fun with glitter art and paints in their play pen. Even teenagers when they opt to stay at home would help especially to make edible art and designs, put their interior designer experimentation into good use or can start on the music lists for the season, provided we encourage them to help and give them an outlet to express their creativity and energy. Getting the whole family involved is no easy feat yet the memories made would light the dark moments in our life. This holiday season, the most precious and priceless thing to spend on would be time and striving to do so would make the holidays worth the store of treasured moments.

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. Wishing you happiness.” Helen Keller

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Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Aim of Schooling

Posted on December 13, 2018October 23, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Intelligence plus character-that is the goal of true education.” Martin Luther King Jr.

As an infant grows up into a toddler entering childhood, one of the first things parents do, is to rush them into pre-school or centers for education to foster their growth of knowledge, skills and learning. Then the next stage is to ensure their admission into the best schools of the locality with high marks performance of marks and grades. Schooling is an extensive way of learning whereby understanding and ability of students are passed on from one initiation to the next by guidance and examinations. The primary purpose of schooling is not just to impart knowledge, but to enable the children of today to be productive for the distant tomorrow of society and to lead the future.

Education comes from within; you get it by struggle and effort and thought. Napoleon Hill

School doesn’t pave the way only to be literate, get jobs, vote or to be a professional. Instead it broadens the horizons, helps to find the inner talents and gifts, putting them to good use. School initiates children for the basics of life, finding self confidence and ability to stand on their own feet, rooting for the right ideals and strong principles. Unfortunately the current scenario of schools and education is to stereotype each child and mould them into a particular profession, whether it is by their choice is irrelevant. The fault lies not only with them alone, but also with parents and society who classify children based on their professional qualifications and job capacities.

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“Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness; but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.” Plato

The catch to all the school based learning is whether it prepares our children for the realities of life. As they mature into young adults, children and adolescents get trapped in the social structure of thoughts, patterns and needs of the society foregoing their own likes, talents and gifts. Just like the eagles which soars the skies and cheetah the land, substitute their places or confine them in boxes, they lose their ability to fight, survive and appreciate life. This scenario could be metaphorically extended to children who are being moulded into the schools for grades and marks alone. Instead we, society as a whole, lose out on special talents, skills and art. There is more to life than jobs, grades, marks and examinations. Though they are indeed necessary, they are not what life is all about. For the most successful person that we know with the best grades making good money can be the unhappiest, dissatisfied or mentally disturbed on the inside. Let each child look beyond the exams and do what they love and excel in. The rest will follow.

This letter to the parents of students was written by the director of the Singapore school. But what do you want to be read by all parents in all schools in the world.
“Dear Parents. Your children will begin examinations soon. I know that you are all very worried that they should pass them well. But please remember: among the students in this exam there will be an artist who does not need to understand mathematics thoroughly. There will be an entrepreneur for whom history or English literature is not so important. A musician who does not need chemistry. An athlete for whom physical education is more important than physics. Great if your child gets good grades. But please do not deprive them of their self-confidence and dignity, if this does not happen. Tell them that this is normal, that this is just an exam. They are created for much more significant things in life. Tell them that whatever their assessment, you love them and you will not judge them. Please do it – and just watch how they will then conquer the world. One exam or a bad mark will not take away their dreams and talent. And please, do not consider doctors and engineers the only happy people on the planet. With best regards, the director of the school “

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Christian, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Purifying the Silver

Posted on December 10, 2018October 23, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

One woman studied the Book of Malachi. When she reached the 3rd chapter, she was bewildered by verse 3: “And silver will melt down and purify .” (Malachi 3: 3)
She decided to visit the silversmiths to observe his work. She did not tell the master about the reasons for her interest, speaking out of simple curiosity. When she came to the master, she found him at work. He heated a piece of silver over a fire. He explained to her that in this way silver was purified: it was kept above fire in the hottest part of the flame in order to burn out all impurities. The woman remembered the verse from the book of Malachi and thought that the Lord, as a jeweler, was keeping us in a cleansing fire. She asked:Do you have to sit like that in front of the fire all the time while the silver is being cleaned?
– Yes. And I do not just have to sit and hold silver in the flame, I should not take my eyes off of it: if you hold the metal in the fire, even for a moment, the damage will be irreparable.
The woman thought for a while and asked:And how do you determine the moment when the metal reached the required purity?
He smiled and replied: Oh, it’s simple. As soon as I see my reflection in it.

“Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering…. The love of God did not protect His own Son…. He will not necessarily protect us – not from anything it takes to make us like His Son. A lot of hammering and chiseling and purifying by fire will have to go into the process.” Elisabeth Elliot

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Life has its own share of disappointments and triumphs. Yet for many, the scales mayn’t be balanced. Some of us will have more failures, trials and difficulties as compared to others. During those times, it’s easy to lose faith in oneself, God and humanity. During my days like these, the words of prophet Zechariah echo in my mind and give me hope. “In the whole land,” declares the Lord, “two-thirds will be struck down and perish; yet one-third will be left in it. This third I will put into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’ (Zechariah 13:8-9)

Although God tests us under the fire, it’s a refiner’s fire and not a raging inferno. Unlike a forest fire or an incinerator, a refiner’s fire does not consume completely or destroy indiscriminately. It refines, purifies and melts down the bar of silver or gold, separating out the dross that arises on top and burning up the impurities that ruin its value. The remaining molten gold or silver is pure and intact. As a part of being human and its’ fallacies, man tends to lose hope, burn out giving up when the load of troubles increase and failures occur regularly. What God wants us to do is to turn to Him as we are being refined and let Him use the molten pure gold or silver to the form He sees fitting. God always gives us a way out, it may be easy or not. Yet if we put our complete trust and faith in Him, we discover a slit of light giving a ray of hope, which will eventually help us to guide the way out from the mess we were thrown into or landed up because of our own folly. The clause is unless we open our hearts and minds we can never be cast in a mould of His Choice or shaped as per as His Will.

“Whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.” James 1:2-4

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Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Fill the Cup

Posted on December 6, 2018October 22, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era, received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen. Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!” Like this cup, Nan-in said, you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?

Although there are many versions of the above story, the common thread running through all of them is that a full cup can’t hold anything more. While most of us may think it doesn’t apply to us, the reality may be the opposite. Do we hold any mental framework of how things should happen ? Do we use our knowledge to define guidelines for others without viewing the entire situation ? Many a time we dealt with situations and events based on what we already know or what we assume is right, without listening and learning to see what is actually happening.

To quote Nyogen Senzaki,”Like this cup, you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you wisdom unless you first empty your cup?” When we interact with people across the walks of our life, the reality of being educated arises. Illiteracy today is not just limited to the inability to read and write, but also encompasses the inability to keep a fresh mind in each situation.

In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s there are few. – Shunryu Suzuki-roshi

As we grow in life we improvise and learn a lot, always staying as beginners mayn’t be possible. Keeping a mind open to learning will help us improve our level of understanding of the various gifts of life. For keeping the same liquid or brew in a single place makes it stagnant and tasteless in the long run. The beauty lies when the liquid flows or when a cup is refilled with something refreshing, may it be new or old.

We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out. Ray Bradbury

In the world of today, real progress is made when we learn when to unlearn what we thought we knew and when to learn anew about the things we didn’t know or assumed. While knowledge is to learn and fill our minds with something new, wisdom is what or when we know to learn, let go what we thought we knew or when to throw the light of what we have learnt to others.

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Family and Society, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

Blinded by Emotions

Posted on December 4, 2018October 21, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion and knowledge. Plato

One of the great teachers and thinkers of the ancient civilization, Plato’s words have held true through the trials of time. Almost in the same order, desire and emotions have always ruled above common sense and knowledge. Even if these emotions have set man apart from the other animal creations; it has often blinded him to other beings even of his own kind, to the point of destroying himself in the process. As truth is bitter, many of us fail to acknowledge that we are often swayed by emotions instead of logic.

How many times have we been passed over others not due to lack of skill but over personal preferences, likes or dislikes of the selectors? How many times have we prejudiced others based on their attire, colour, backgrounds and appearances when they put us to shame with their behaviour and nature ?

When we begin to build walls of prejudice, hatred, pride, and self-indulgence around ourselves, we are more surely imprisoned than any prisoner behind concrete walls and iron bars. Mother Angelica

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The gilded cages that we build around us in all glory keeps us in one place, not letting us to fly and explore the world around us; unless we chose to open the door to use our wings. While we can’t control what is happening, we hold the key to our own behaviour in our dealings with others, at work, neighbourhood and wherever we go. Either way as the poet Robert Frost had said the world will end in the fire of desire or the ice of hatred; though both ways are disastrous, historical and anthropological evidence has proven through the ice ages which is more terrible of the two.

Awareness is realizing that our life could always be better. Growth is doing what it takes to make it better. When we choose the positive over the negative, liberation over repression, truth over illusion, we become real creators. Danielle LaPorte

Fire and Ice
By Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I’ve tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

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Family and Society, Life, Photography Art, Reflections

True from Fake

Posted on November 29, 2018October 15, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

My daughter once asked my mother how to distinguish true love from fake.
“It’s very simple,” the mother replied.
“… because I love!” Is true love.
“I love because …” is a fake.

This little snippet of conversation which I had read in my social pages has a profound meaning in today’s conditional world. These days everything comes with strings attached. With biased opinions and comments scouring the review pages, consumer markets and even job opportunities, nothing seems fair in the world of today. Add to it, relationships are getting soured as each took the other for granted, and forgetting basic respect and humaneness. With the many weddings and “I do” often said, as well as the friendship bonds made, where does “the love” go as time flies.

While we profess our declarations of undying love, when it is followed by “because” it is wise to suppose that this love will not last as the features so loved will change like the weather. For those of us who have our own close knit of friends and family, have you ever wondered about the care and concern of a loved one ? They keep a watch over us, doing things without asking and many a time, forcing us to wake up and move ahead during roadblocks. They never loved us because of our assets of fun, frolic and gaiety or having an eye on the benefits that their relationship with us would bring them in the future. The commitment and care they gave us was because they loved us. They are in the circle that we should fight to protect, cherish and honour as they put actions and deeds above words because they love us. So while we try to ascertain “the real” love, never forget to remember them as the guidelines of what selfless love should be like.