Reflections – Page 30 – Sugar And Spice… Among Other Things

Raking the Thoughts

Posted on November 8, 2018October 16, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“At no other time (than autumn) does the earth let itself be inhaled in one smell, the ripe earth; in a smell that is in no way inferior to the smell of the sea, bitter where it borders on taste, and more honey-sweet where you feel it touching the first sounds. Containing depth within itself, darkness, something of the grave almost.” Rainer Maria Rilke

With the leaves of autumn and its winds brushing by, it brings to mind of the years that have passed by. While looking down the memory lane, one often recalls the dreams and hopes of childhood and what we had dreamt of the big world out there. Many of us had our own visions and dreams of what we would want to be as we grow up. Yet life has its’ own funny twists and turns. Some of us have stuck to the plans of high school, others have modified it while few have shoved them under the carpet of what they then believed was something better. While some of us have carved our own niche in the today’s world, the rest of us are still journeying enjoying life’s moments as they come. The final crux of living is to be happy.

Yet among all this, there are few of us who have had cherished desires and hopes of doing what we love. Some of us have taken those aspirations as hobby or hobbies, while the rest haven’t yet found the time to do so. Even worse, there are other who are stuck in the rut or chaos, too hassled to find time of their own. Amidst all this, what we have to realize that no one is going to give us a push or shove all the time. Sometimes we have to buck up ourselves and secure our dreams by moving in their direction, not by standing still. For time will go on its’ merry way and there is only one life. If we don’t try to find our dream, no one will ever do it for us. Instead of storing up the regrets, spend that time doing a little of your own everyday no matter how small it may be. For no matter how busy the harbour is, there is always activity in the waters but we never find it by rooting ourselves at the shore.

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Follow Your Dreams

If while pursuing distant dreams
Your brightest hopes turn to gray.
Don’t wait for reassuring words
Or hands to lead the way.

For seldom will you find a soul
With dreams the same as yours.
Not often will another help you
Pass through untried doors.

If inner forces urge you
To take a course unknown,
Be ready to go all the way,
Yes, all the way alone.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t
Draw lessons from the best;
Just don’t depend on lauding words
To spur you on your quest.

Find confidence within your heart
And let it be your guide.
Strive ever harder toward your dreams
And they won’t be denied.

-Bruce B. Wilmer

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Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Trace the Bridges

Posted on November 7, 2018October 8, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

In forensic sciences there is a principle known as Locard’s exchange principle which states that the perpetrator of a crime will bring something into the crime scene and leave with something from it, and that both can be used as forensic evidence. Although these words written by Locard was, “It is impossible for a criminal to act, especially considering the intensity of a crime, without leaving traces of this presence.”

Nevertheless setting aside crime scenes, what was dwelling in my mind were two words “exchange” and “traces”. Although the principle above may sound simple, what one fails to realize is that our every human interaction and relationship works on exchange and traces. There is an exchange of human emotions, ideas, behaviour, words and actions leaving behind imprints or traces in the near or distant future behaviour or interactions. Along the exchanges, sometimes we end up in having misconceptions, misunderstandings and mistrust, finally leading to innumerable issues. While some issues may be genuine and easily resolvable by a little give and take, others may either be irrevocably knotty or may be there as courtesy of making a mountain out of a molehill. Yet the catch is that we will never know unless we try.

Human relationships are of a very fragile nature. They need a lot of care and fostering to maintain and grow. Even the ones that seem rock solid might falter if the small pebbles strewn in the path aren’t cleared. On the other hand walls and fences are rock solid and never crumble, but they are meant for walling in or isolation. Until we learn to build bridges to keep the flow of exchange of ideas, emotions and interactions, we wouldn’t be able to leave behind traces either. After all life without meaning is purposeless, for what everyone wants among the deepest desire buried in their hearts is to be wanted and loved. Then on, the rest will follow.

As the story between the two brothers go, everyday we have the choice of building fences or bridges. One leads to isolation and the other to openness. Yet the final decision is ours to make. While we need to know which bridges to cross or which to burn, sometimes we need more than one chance to decide the outcome of whether to cross the bridge or not. Either way the course of action is ours to decide and the sequelae that follows, we ourselves will have to face.

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The two brothers

Once upon a time, two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labour and goods as needed without a hitch. Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence. One morning there was a knock on John’s door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter’s toolbox. “I’m looking for a few days work,” he said. “Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there. Could I help you?” “Yes,” said the older brother. “I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That’s my neighbour. In fact, it’s my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I’ll go him one better. See that pile of lumber curing by the barn? I want you to build me a fence – an 8-foot fence – so I won’t need to see his place anymore. Cool him down anyhow.” The carpenter said, “I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post hole digger and I’ll be able to do a job that pleases you.”

The older brother had to go to town for supplies, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.
The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, and nailing. About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer’s eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge – a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work – handrails and all – and the neighbour, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched. “You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done.” The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other’s hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder. “No, wait! Stay a few days. I’ve a lot of other projects for you,” said the older brother. “I’d love to stay on,” the carpenter said, ” but I have many more bridges to build.”

Everyday we have the choice of building fences or bridges. One leads to isolation and the other to openness.

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

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Christian, Daily, Personal Musings, Reflections

Rescued From the Cycle

Posted on November 5, 2018October 10, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Choices. Temptations. Decisions. Consequences. Guilt. Regrets. Self-Condemnation. Again choices.

This vicious cycle we often find ourselves in is one of the greatest fallacies of man. While some of us may have a different order of events with more or less components, many of us have gone through either of these phases or emotions at innumerable number of places across varied time frames in our life. As a result, we frequently keep on changing our minds, to the point that sometimes we actually fail to understand what we really want or wish for.

How many times have prayed for something to happen and when it actually does, the timing is drastically wrong ? How many times have we lost sight of our focus we had when we had started off on the journey? How many times have we regretted the consequences of the actions made by our choices ? Unfortunately this is what man has to endure through his time on earth.

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Even the scriptures say that we can neither avoid the consequences of our choices nor we may be able to live up to the standards and expectations that we set for ourselves. There will be times when we will have frequent change of heart and when we would try to make ourselves right with God but fail. There is always a constant ongoing tussle between the Spirit within and the temptations of the flesh. This perpetual fracas between the right and the wrong choices, as well as the good and the bad decisions has been going ever since the beginning of time. Yet man is never helpless and lost as long as he keeps His Faith.

We always need something to fall back on, someone to lift our spirits and give us hope. For God is omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient; though we may not be able to speak to Him in person, inside our hearts and mind we know that He is there although at times we refuse to acknowledge this. Through the voice in our mind and heart, our gut instincts or the sixth sense and through our friends and family, His Spirit will speak to us and give us innumerable chances as long as we believe in His Love for man. As Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” This knowledge not only pulls us through troubled waters but also makes the voyage less dreary and more hopeful to endure so that we can finally reach the next shore.

To quote the verses from Romans 8:37-39, “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

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Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Choose the Shades

Posted on November 4, 2018November 4, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

With the advent of technology, there is a whole world of information out there. Along with it comes a slew of ideas, thoughts and opinions for the various events we find ourselves surrounded by. Consequently there is always a tussle between what is true or correct and what is wrong or falsified. Unfortunately not everything is in black or white, there are shades of gray that are far too many to differentiate. It becomes quite difficult to decide on the final course of action or words to reach an outcome.

Many claim on bringing the truth to light. Yet the truth can be tinged by the shades of relativity, haziness to opaqueness, lack or inaccessibility of information, communication deficits and sometimes varies as per one’s perspective. So how to discern the right and the wrong ? That’s when we remove the filters in our mind and look at the bare bones of basic facts.

Then we can imagine a blank page and then try drawing on it. With our senses finely attuned and instincts honed in, we can get the picture as long as all preconceived notions and perceptions are thrown out of mind. For besides misinterpretation, the latter clouds our individual thinking and judgement. Instead we lean on our strong sense of morality, honour and humanness to highlight the right colours to blend in as we draw the lines or curves. In such a scenario, the picture we draw would make us feel satisfied.

As an old Indian folklore goes, every blind man had felt the elephant but in parts, for none of them could step back and see the bigger picture. In real life, there may be situations where we have to decide an outcome or relay information, which would consequently lead to a chain of events which can be disastrous for some while positive for others. Then instead of clouding our minds with what we know, it’s easier to take a fresh page, write in the lines and then put in all the facts and knowledge that we have gleaned through our travels of life. For then even though perspectives may vary, the decisions will be based in a complete context on hard facts, certainty and true events not on speculation, hearsay or filtered imaginations. What’s good for one may be bad for others, but in the long run if both benefit then it is worth the change.

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The Blind Men and The Elephant

A long time ago in the valley of the Brahmaputra River in India there lived six men who were much inclined to boast of their wit and lore. Though they were no longer young and had all been blind since birth, they would compete with each other to see who could tell the tallest story. One day, however, they fell to arguing. The object of their dispute was the elephant. Now, since each was blind, none had ever seen that mighty beast of whom so many tales are told. So, to satisfy their minds and settle the dispute, they decided to go and seek out an elephant. Having hired a young guide, Dookiram by name, they set out early one morning in single file along the forest track, each placing his hands on the back of the man in front. It was not long before they came to a forest clearing where a huge bull elephant, quite tame, was standing contemplating his menu for the day.
The six blind men became quite excited; at last they would satisfy their minds. Thus it was that the men took turns to investigate the elephant’s shape and form.

As all six men were blind, neither of them could see the whole elephant and approached the elephant from different directions. After encountering the elephant, each man proclaimed in turn:
“O my brothers,” the first man at once cried out, “it is as sure as I am wise that this elephant is like a great mud wall baked hard in the sun.”
“Now, my brothers,” the second man exclaimed with a cry of dawning recognition, “I can tell you what shape this elephant is – he is exactly like a spear.”
The others smiled in disbelief.
“Why, dear brothers, do you not see,” said the third man, “this elephant is very much like a rope,” he shouted.
“Ha, I thought as much,” the fourth man declared excitedly, “this elephant much resembles a serpent.”
The others snorted their contempt.
“Good gracious, brothers,” the fifth man called out, “even a blind man can see what shape the elephant resembles most. Why he’s mightily like a fan.”
At last, it was the turn of the sixth old fellow and he proclaimed, “This sturdy pillar, brothers, mine, feels exactly like the trunk of a great areca palm tree.”
Of course, no one believed him.

Their curiosity satisfied, they all linked hands and followed the guide, Dookiram, back to the village. Once there, seated beneath a waving palm, the six blind men began disputing loud and long. Each now had his own opinion, firmly based on his own experience, of what an elephant is really like. For after all, each had felt the elephant for himself and knew that he was right!And so indeed he was. For depending on how the elephant is seen, each blind man was partly right, though all were in the wrong.

Source: https://vk.com/slideshowarts

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Family and Society, Photography Art, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Simply Fruit

Posted on November 3, 2018November 3, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Hello. Welcome to the Portokalos family and welcome the-the Miller family. I-I was thinking last night, um, the night before my-my daughter was gonna marry, uh, I-an Miller, that, um, you know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word “milo”, which is mean apple, there you go. As many of you know, our name Portokalos is come from the Greek word “portolakli”, which means orange. So, okay, here tonight we have, uh, apple and orange… we all different, but, in the end, we all fruit,” said Gus Portokalos at his daughter Toula’s wedding reception.

In case if the reader is wondering the context and origin of these lines, they are from the romantic comedy film of My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002). The movie is centered on Fotoula “Toula” Portokalos, a Greek-American woman who in the middle of early mid-life crisis finally falls in love with Ian, an upper middle class White Anglo-Saxon Protestant American or simply put, a non-Greek American. Born into a an orthodox Greek family, Toula examines her relationship with family, with their cultural heritage and value system. Finally all ends well as the wedding takes with mutual appreciation of each others culture, tradition and customs.

Yet among the variety of funny dialogues, the words of Gus Portokalos resonate in the mind. Even though the speech is simple, the implicit message conveyed boils down to the fact that although we all are different, we eventually end up in the fruit basket. This truth is not confined to Greeks alone but is pertinent across all societies around the world. Similar situations have been encountered in different places not necessarily weddings, even the market places, work or on the daily commute. Fruit in whichever shape or size, chopped or as whole, garnished or plain or by whatever name or colour ultimately belongs to the big family of “fruit”.

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Putting this subtle yet profound realization into practice in our day-to-day interactions would bridge the discriminatory attitude towards the people we meet across the different walks of our life. While we may not agree with some of them, absolute disdain and disrespect of others based on physical or traditional characteristics would narrow the rich exposure of the flavours of life.

In fact, unknowingly our words and actions mirror our personality as well as the traditions and culture that we belong to. By pointing one finger at others, we fail to grasp that at least three of the remaining three fingers are directed back towards us. And if anyone directs their hand at others, know that the same hand is attached to our body which throws back a picture about the culture and upbringing of the person. So instead of wasting away precious time and energy over irrelevant and minor details, isn’t it easier to keep matters simple and enjoy the basket of fruit ?

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Daily, Photography Art, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Sharpen the Pencil

Posted on October 25, 2018October 15, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

While sitting in one of the meetings, I had run out of ink while jotting down notes. Thankfully after a harried search in my bag, I found a small pencil and my note taking went undisturbed. Later that day, I was reminiscing about the last time I had used a pencil. For the regular sketchers, designers and artists, that question is pretty irrelevant. But for occasional writers, poets, businessmen, office workers, software engineers and the like, it is a moot point as a pen holds the same role as the pencil. Ironically though many of us had started off our learning with the pencil.

Even today, I still remember the entire procedure of packing my bag the night before school. Along with the notebooks, till primary school it was the pencil box with my assorted selection of pencils which had a prominent role in the calligraphy and drawing lessons . As time progressed, we had switched over to pens and along the way, our writing had changed. All the same, there is a special feel while holding the pencil in hand. In fact it brings to memory, the pencil’s tale.

The pencil’s tale: An old pencil maker took his newest pencil aside, just before he was about to pack him into a box. Imagining the little fellow as a person he recalled a few things about the pencil.“There are five things you need to know,” he said to his pencil, “before I send you out into the world. Always remember these five things – never forget them – and you will become the best pencil you can be!
“The first thing is to remember that you will be able to do many great things, but only if you put yourself in someone else’s hands.
“From time to time you will experience a painful sharpening, but remember that this will make you a better pencil.
“Also, keep in mind that you will be able to correct any mistakes you might make along the way.
“And the most important part of you is what’s on the inside.
“And remember this, as well, upon every surface that you are used, you must leave your mark. No matter what else happens, you must continue to write.”
It seemed the pencil listened to him and promised he would remember these five things so that he could live his life with heart and purpose.

Although applying the finer aspects of this tale might not always be possible all the time. Somewhere along the journey, when we get lost; the five lessons of the pencil would bring us back to the days where life was fun and meaningful. For by sharpening the pencil (graphite or charcoal), the artisans, craftsmen and even carpenters begin or continue their work to create their masterpieces.

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Daily, Family and Society, Reflections

Caught by the Web

Posted on October 22, 2018October 4, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Sorry, network out of coverage area.”
“Free Wi-Fi available”
“Is there network coverage in this area?”
“Is there internet facility available in this cafe ?”

The above sentiments have been either echoed by us or we have heard them on a daily basis. Most malls, stores, cafes and even public waiting areas advertise the availability of internet and free Wi-Fi. While for them it is a means to attract more customers, sometimes we do require internet facility in these areas. Yet the right balance has to be struck between the need and the time spent using the internet. Wi-Fi is needed depending on our professional as well as social requirements. Yet besides the eight working hours, how many of the remaining hours do we spent on the net ? Are we in the era where we are more anxious about the availability of internet at home or at social gatherings instead of spending quality time with our family or strengthening our social relationships? How many of us neglect direct interactions in favour of compulsive checking of our social media accounts? The answers will reflect on the extent to which the internet dominates our life.

Like all modern technology, the internet does open up a vast chasm of information, which can turn out to be quite useful or just distractions. The knowledge that we glean from the net is like a two edged sword, it has to be accurate factually and also add on to our enlightenment in a positive manner. For such a use, the internet is indeed instrumental to add to our daily time. Yet at the same, the web is indeed a trap with lots of data where the reliability is questionable as well as having an adverse effect on our daily life.

The scales of usage have to be precariously balanced. Introspectively, it all comes down to what we use it for; materialistic impulses or sensible living. If we engage in imbibing on trash like gossip, slander, impure or wicked thoughts; besides wasting our time, we feed ourselves on junk that causes more harm than good.
As Proverbs 15:14 says,”A wise person is hungry for knowledge, while the fool feeds on trash.”(NLT version)

Putting in the wisdom of His Word to practice, proper choices have to made regarding the use of the net. For the internet is indeed a treasure trove but if it comes at the expense of family time, loss of relationships or excessive usage to the point of anxiousness, then it’s time to reconsider whether we are indeed a victim of the trappings of the spider’s web.