Category: Reflections

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections

Below the Surface

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Errors, like straws, upon the surface flow;
He who would search for pearls, must dive below.”
John Dryden, All for Love

A school visit to the local underwater aquarium had lead to an exuberant eight year old going on and on about how big it was, the funny stringy umbrella creature with many legs (jelly fish), bright coloured fishes with funny noses as well as the rich colours of the underwater life. Among his expressions of surprise and wonder, what caught my mind was the comment that “no one would see all this if we just go to the beach alone, we need to go inside the ocean.” One would wholeheartedly agree with this. A quiet day at a beach would never give cause for one to imagine that there is another world teeming below the blue waters.

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“A human being has so many skins inside, covering the depths of the heart. We know so many things, but we don’t know ourselves! Why, thirty or forty skins or hides, as thick and hard as an ox’s or bear’s, cover the soul. Go into your own ground and learn to know yourself there.” Meister Eckhart

The essence of human life is similar to the depths of the ocean. On the surface, each of us have our own basic essentials, food, clothing and shelter. Yet to feel complete, one needs to go beyond the creature comforts. Each of us need to find our own meaning in life, not just to find a purpose or define ourselves but also to feel complete when doing so. The innate human potential is boundless. It is only when one takes the step into the unknown waters, that one can challenge themselves to be better and explore the hidden talents.

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To breach beyond the surface requirements requires one to pursue their instincts and challenges to use the present strengths to become something more. The only care to be taken is to know that the difference between the ocean and the quicksand. As for the ocean, no matter how big or deep it is; knowing to put in a full set of diving gear and air supply tank is what counts the decision to stay for how long. To experience the joys of the sea-world, one must know to stay in with the reasoning to pull out as soon as required. To enjoy experiences and explore the hidden, a cautious touch to the mind with a realistic approach does help one to look beneath the surface and bring wonders for the soul.

“The desert and the ocean are realms of desolation on the surface.
The desert is a place of bones, where the innards are turned out, to desiccate into dust.
The ocean is a place of skin, rich outer membranes hiding thick juicy insides, laden with the soup of being.
Inside out and outside in. These are worlds of things that implode or explode, and the only catalyst that determines the direction of eco-movement is the balance of water.
Both worlds are deceptive, dangerous. Both, seething with hidden life.
The only veil that stands between perception of what is underneath the desolate surface is your courage.
Dare to breach the surface and sink.”
Vera Nazarian

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Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Not to Condemn

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

At the turn of the spring, the yard resembles the after-effects of a wind-storm. As rakes get into action and leaves get piled up, a pit is dug for the dead leaves side-by-side before the dusk turns to night. The fear of the dead leaves starting an unprecedented fire always lies in the mind. The bush-fires of Australian and the Californian wildfires are some of the most damaging wildfires as recorded by time. While most of the times, the initiator is nature; the Northern Californian Carr Fire (2018) wasn’t so. These sparks rose from a trailer whose tire had burst en-course scraping the metal against the pavement. This wildfire had burnt nearly 230,000 acres, destroyed thousands of homes and lives as well as rendering many moribund. One can only imagine the shame, grief and remorse the couple who had driven the trailer felt.

“… for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.” (1 John 3:20)

As the survivors came to know about the details of wildfire, there were those who had condemned them and highlighted on the ramifications of being negligent and careless. Yet there were those survivors who on hearing that the couple were overcome with grief and shame, had extended their support to them with grace and kindness. They also had formed social media pages to show the same. As one survivor had written that blaming anyone doesn’t bring back the lost homes; accidents happen and no matter how much a burden one carries, we will all get through this together. (Source: https://edition.cnn.com/2018/08/15/us/carr-fire-community-sends-notes-trnd/index.html)

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To condemn another is relatively easy, but one has to learn to accept that condemnation doesn’t bring the loss back; neither does it reverse the hands of time. The act of condemnation, whether it be towards ourselves or others, is something that can damage the inner soul. Being human, one is prone to make innumerable mistakes. The latter of which some are accidental or made of ignorance, while the others are deliberate. Whatever the nature may be, correcting the mistake and taking care not to entertain a repeat is of more value. Condemning one doesn’t change anything. For some it may make one feel better, but to what extent. While for others, learning from mistakes or pointing out mistakes and their cause doesn’t give the right to condemn anyone or equate to the same.

“The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.” (Psalm 34:22)

Everyone is redeemable through His Grace. Each of us have our own cache of mistakes, errors or carelessness. As we learn from them and regrets get accumulated, one has to realize that His Saving Grace will get us through all this. As the Scriptures say throughout, God is greater than our hearts. As Christ calls us towards repentance, He helps us to unmask the shame, grief and remorse engulfing us. Through His Divine Grace and redemption, our hearts can be at ease in once again. Though there may be many things, happenings and events that one wishes one could turn back or undo; God draws us out of them. He offers His Grace, His Love, His Understanding and His Peace to help us calm our restless heart, thoughts and soul again.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)

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Posted in Daily, Personal Musings, poetry, Reflections, Work

Trap of “Trepidation”

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Stepping into the college life, miles away from home, was an awesome experience, especially in learning about life skills, new friendships as well as tiny “take home” messages from the encounter of others’. From the archive of memories was one with my adjoining floor mates. Bitten by the “cooking bug”, which had initially started off as a dare, my friend had embarked on the mission to bring to the house, dished cooked from scratch ( nor processed, prepackages or half cooked meals). For a person of score years who hasn’t even made her own coffee, this dare was a challenge to be over-turned.

As the smells from the common kitchen happened through the odd hours of the day or wee hours of the morning, numerous recipes were attempted (many had flopped) and the cons turning more in number as compared to the “pros”, some days we had questioned if the challenge was worth it. Couple of months, when she had won laurels for the best dessert category in the “food fair”, all this trouble was worth it.

“To venture causes anxiety, but not to venture is to lose one’s self…. And to venture in the highest is precisely to be conscious of one’s self.” Søren Kierkegaard

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Looking back, there were more of “should you” and “do you think” than “good luck”. Yet ignoring all the voices around, the focus was on the final goal. Similar instances have happened in each of our lives. While one looks for the perfect approval from others, time runs it’s own course and own choices go unfulfilled. For those who do accomplish their dreams, one discovers that they never paid full to the voices around them alone. Some did hear them, but never listened. Others listened but never retained or dissected them. Few did pay attention, decided if it was worth further regard and if not, just went ahead with their own dreams.

“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.” C. H. Spurgeon

No one needs an acknowledgement or recommendation to follow own choices. If one really wants to do it, go ahead and reach for it. None of us need a stamp for the green light from others, especially for our shaping own thoughts, ideas and plans. Unless one believes in own self, knowing own dreams and strengths; what we want to truly do will never be done. So charge ahead and seek that dream that makes each of us happy and at peace and content form within.

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An Ocean of Angst
by Don Wells
It seems like we live in an ocean of angst
telling us we shouldn’t, we dare not, we can’t
we can find so many ways in which we can fail
that we just spin in circles, chasing our tail

And listening to strangers’ whispers of doubt
but ignoring the voices of friends that shout out
“yes! you can do it! we believe in you”
and deep down in your heart you know it is true

Because you see people, simple and plain,
accomplishing miracles every day
they are the dreamers, the crackpots, the few
but they’re not any more special than you

We all have great dreams within our grasp
but to make them a reality we need to ask
will you succeed if you try your best?
the answer, of course, is a resounding yes!

Because every time you try to excel
whether you succeed or, more likely, fail
each attempt you make is a single push up
not much by itself, but they eventually add up

And even if you find that you’re dream has departed
you’ll find that you’re stronger than when you started
so pick a new dream and keep trying again
and success is bound to be yours in the end

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Posted in Personal Musings, Photography Art, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Seasons, Phases and Shades

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“I don’t know what lies around the bend, but I’m going to believe that the best does.” Anne of Green Gables

While attending the biennial workshop held as a part of the company policy on updating their employees, many of us signed up mainly for the chance to visit another interesting place. In fact the venue itself was one of the appealing factors of this time’s workshop. Based on the recommendations of the previous city visitors (though it was three years old) we had decided to visit the local famous haunts. To our surprise, while most tourist places had stayed on(or even updated), some of the local popular places like the delis, square gardens as well as city walks had changed quite significantly.

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While the entire week went in a whirlwind of various sessions, trips to the local areas, experimenting with new dishes; our experiences were a little different from the previous accounts we were told. Though our experiences were different, it was a lovely stay for the season we were in.

“Even seasonal situations can bring with them lessons that last a lifetime. If the love doesn’t last, it prepares you for the one that will.” Mandy Hale

Each of our days brings in a lot of scenes, flavours and experiences. Our own experiences may be seen in a different light by others. While one may have a good memory, the others may share a not so good or sad memory. To pass judgement too quickly based on a single happening would be to deprive oneself of the whole picture.

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Each event or person has their own phases. While one phase mayn’t turn out to be well, it doesn’t mean that it is a lost cause. Instead give it some time, for then one would discover that things weren’t so bad but an interesting experience  seen so in the due course of time.

The Seasons of Life 
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn to not judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away. The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.
The second son said no – it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed, he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfilment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but one season in the tree’s life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are – and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life – can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up. If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall. Don’t judge a life by one difficult season. Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Photography Art, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

Reality of Empowerment

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.” Charlotte Brontë 

Entering into morning hours of the international day symbolizing the empowerment of women while bringing them to an equal footing with men (especially as far as civic rights are concerned); this day marks the long struggle in breaking down the barriers laid down by the society of then. While this day may or mayn’t be commemorated in a special manner, this day holds a significant meaning.

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.” Coco Chanel

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Empowerment by itself means, “the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.” While this may be used more in terms of social, civic and human rights; there is a bigger spectrum beyond this. While as a child we all dream big, of doing the daring, being adventurous and focusing on our own passions. Somewhere along the line, we loose track of all these and think of the future days on the society that we live of today. In order to provide the daily bread and butter, we often change tracks and off the path. Along the way, most of us may get stuck in the rut; while a few of us may take charge later and do a little of things that we all dreamt to do. Yet there are still some of us, who start off working on our dreams, but along the way the rut deepens and we get stuck again.

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” Steve Maraboli

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Empowerment includes us finding ourselves a way out of the rut. Getting out of the confines of society and seeking own dreams, involves tremendous strength and courage. Our life is more or less like the train on the railway tracks. Some of the destinations are known but unexpected landslides do occur and detours are made. By empowering own-selves and getting around those rocks. makes each of our own views breathtaking and spectacular; than being mere copycats of a kind. While the tracks of the train may be set to prevent the derail; at times finding the smaller routes with due care and caution, gives a view better beyond our wildest imagination.

The Railway Train
by Emily Dickinson

I like to see it lap the miles,
And lick the valleys up,
And stop to feed itself at tanks;
And then, prodigious, step

Around a pile of mountains,
And, supercilious, peer
In shanties by the sides of roads;
And then a quarry pare

To fit its sides, and crawl between,
Complaining all the while
In horrid, hooting stanza;
Then chase itself down hill

And neigh like Boanerges;
Then, punctual as a star,
Stop — docile and omnipotent —
At its own stable door.

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, poetry, Reflections

Of Throwbacks and Reversions

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

When the local community centre had sent out a notice asking for a donation of old clothes, books, toys, sheets and other commodities, there was a sudden spring cleaning mode. While packing up the clothes especially those of the infant style (some which weren’t worn much, others which they have outgrown), memories and tiny incidents associated with them would come to the forefront. Eventual what became a simple “pack and donate” activity took up the whole of the next three days.

“Memory is the diary we all carry about with us.” Oscar Wilde

All of us carry our own bag of moments. This bag contains all the good ones as well as the bad ones. Some may have been sweet, poignant, filled with happiness and joy, while others bring back hurt and sorrow.

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Delving into the bag, some of them we ought to scatter to the wind, while others we ought to bring them to the forefront occasionally. Either way memories are a precious thing, bringing a glimmer of light on the dark days, reminding one of the numerous blessings and gratitude in life. Learning to cherish them as well as let some of them go are both equally important. Each memorable experience defines us in one small way or the other. Let those reminders be those of the pleasant happy ones, for life is too short to dwell on the sad ones. Cherish the sweet happy moments but learn to revisit and not dwell in them alone. One can always reexamine the past, but living for the present now is what brings hope, warmth and happiness for the future.

“Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.” L.M. Montgomery

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Sweet Memories
By Charlotte Anselmo

In quiet times I often sit
And find my mind adrift
To another place, another time
And oh! My spirits lift!

I see your happy, smiling face,
And that twinkle in your eye.
I hear you sing your favorite song
And I laugh…and then I cry.

Inside my heart Sweet Memories
Stay with me each day
I cherish, and I cling to them
For I miss you in every way.

Each thing I see…
Each thing I do, brings you close to me
For everything upon this earth
Brings Sweet Memories of you.

I imagine our reunion
Some day at heaven’s gate
It fills my heart with happiness…
But for now, I’ll have to wait.

Until my life upon this earth
And my work here is complete
Sweet Memories will keep me
Until at last again we meet.

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Posted in Personal Musings, poetry, Reflections, Work

Of an endeavor nonpareil

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

The interstate athletics and sports competition during the school years sees plenty of friendly sparring as well determined efforts to be the one to take the trophy home. Seated in the spectator arena and cheering for my nephew from the sidelines brought back memories from my high school days. During the last day of the three day event, my school was tagging along in the third position. Lagging behind, the only way to get the trophy home would be to score gold or silver in the relay, javelin and high jump. The problem was that some were participating in more than one event. The coach with the consent of participants did a quick shuffle with the athlete in their best sport competing alone for that event.

With these changes, some of the reserves were on the front-line for the relay. As the tension was mounting high, each of us gave it all we had, keeping the “will we win” doubting thoughts far from our mind. Towards the end of the day, we did claim the trophy for that year by a very close margin. That feat wouldn’t have been possible if all participants of hadn’t joined forces for the final day.

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” Henry Ford

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Forwarding to the present day, each member of the team has their own special importance as well as role to play. Each link needs to give their best strength for the chain to stay strong. While one aims to give their best in their chosen field, sometimes their shine may be seen in the another scene. While all mayn’t reach the first place, giving their very own best gives a sense of peace and contentment. Being human, we all maybe assailed by regrets at some point of time or the other. Once we learn to give it our best shot in whichever capacity one may be in, one experiences the joy of an effort and work well done. As unpredictable life maybe, enjoying the feeling of inner peace, contentment, confidence and happiness within are few of the best and subtle gifts of life over time.

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.” Andrew Carnegie

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Be the Best of Whatever You Are
Douglas Malloch

If you can’t be a pine on the top of the hill,
Be a scrub in the valley — but be
The best little scrub by the side of the rill;
Be a bush if you can’t be a tree.

If you can’t be a bush be a bit of the grass,
And some highway happier make;
If you can’t be a muskie then just be a bass —
But the liveliest bass in the lake!

We can’t all be captains, we’ve got to be crew,
There’s something for all of us here,
There’s big work to do, and there’s lesser to do,
And the task you must do is the near.

If you can’t be a highway then just be a trail,
If you can’t be the sun be a star;
It isn’t by size that you win or you fail —
Be the best of whatever you are!

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