Sugar And Spice... Among Other Things

Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Trace the Bridges

Posted on November 7, 2018October 8, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

In forensic sciences there is a principle known as Locard’s exchange principle which states that the perpetrator of a crime will bring something into the crime scene and leave with something from it, and that both can be used as forensic evidence. Although these words written by Locard was, “It is impossible for a criminal to act, especially considering the intensity of a crime, without leaving traces of this presence.”

Nevertheless setting aside crime scenes, what was dwelling in my mind were two words “exchange” and “traces”. Although the principle above may sound simple, what one fails to realize is that our every human interaction and relationship works on exchange and traces. There is an exchange of human emotions, ideas, behaviour, words and actions leaving behind imprints or traces in the near or distant future behaviour or interactions. Along the exchanges, sometimes we end up in having misconceptions, misunderstandings and mistrust, finally leading to innumerable issues. While some issues may be genuine and easily resolvable by a little give and take, others may either be irrevocably knotty or may be there as courtesy of making a mountain out of a molehill. Yet the catch is that we will never know unless we try.

Human relationships are of a very fragile nature. They need a lot of care and fostering to maintain and grow. Even the ones that seem rock solid might falter if the small pebbles strewn in the path aren’t cleared. On the other hand walls and fences are rock solid and never crumble, but they are meant for walling in or isolation. Until we learn to build bridges to keep the flow of exchange of ideas, emotions and interactions, we wouldn’t be able to leave behind traces either. After all life without meaning is purposeless, for what everyone wants among the deepest desire buried in their hearts is to be wanted and loved. Then on, the rest will follow.

As the story between the two brothers go, everyday we have the choice of building fences or bridges. One leads to isolation and the other to openness. Yet the final decision is ours to make. While we need to know which bridges to cross or which to burn, sometimes we need more than one chance to decide the outcome of whether to cross the bridge or not. Either way the course of action is ours to decide and the sequelae that follows, we ourselves will have to face.

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The two brothers

Once upon a time, two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labour and goods as needed without a hitch. Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence. One morning there was a knock on John’s door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter’s toolbox. “I’m looking for a few days work,” he said. “Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there. Could I help you?” “Yes,” said the older brother. “I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That’s my neighbour. In fact, it’s my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I’ll go him one better. See that pile of lumber curing by the barn? I want you to build me a fence – an 8-foot fence – so I won’t need to see his place anymore. Cool him down anyhow.” The carpenter said, “I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post hole digger and I’ll be able to do a job that pleases you.”

The older brother had to go to town for supplies, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.
The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, and nailing. About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer’s eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge – a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work – handrails and all – and the neighbour, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched. “You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done.” The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other’s hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder. “No, wait! Stay a few days. I’ve a lot of other projects for you,” said the older brother. “I’d love to stay on,” the carpenter said, ” but I have many more bridges to build.”

Everyday we have the choice of building fences or bridges. One leads to isolation and the other to openness.

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Daily, Food, poetry, Quotes

Art of Tisane

Posted on November 6, 2018October 14, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“There is something in the nature of tea that leads us into a world of quiet contemplation of life.” -Lin Yutang

One of the concoctions of the millennial which is slowly catching up is the herbal tea, otherwise known as tisanes. Quite popular in certain places especially the Orient, herbal teas have been often been intertwined with the local tradition of indigenous medicines which is not only for enhancing the overall health, but also addresses specific health related issues. As a matter of fact, herbal tea can be made from a long list of ingredients which start with every letter of the alphabet except the letters “I” and “X”. There is little wonder why then, this trend is slowly catching as the soothing sips of nature’s remedies answers many aliments of man brought on as a consequence to his existence in this modern world.

“The outsider may indeed wonder at this seeming much ado about nothing. What a tempest in a tea-cup! he will say. But when we consider how small after all the cup of human enjoyment is, how soon overflowed with tears, how easily drained to the dregs in our quenchless thirst for infinity, we shall not blame ourselves for making so much of the tea-cup.” ~Okakura Kakuzo

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As the tantalizing aroma of the brew hits, the memories of the past, present and the future swirl as the leaves seeped in the china cup. Although along with the health benefits, the very act of making and pouring the tisane is calming, like an art true to its’ form. A cup of herbal tea makes a pretty picture with colours borrowed from the autumn leaves interlaced with summer skies and spring air chasing away not only the winter chills but also the coldness and stress within. The warm cup floods the senses comforting the nerves; unsettles, raw and tender by chaos of the day.

While each one of us have our own blend to break in the day, it makes no difference as all finally help to start a new page with optimism in this cynical world that we find ourselves in.

“Teaism is a cult founded on the adoration of the beautiful among the sordid facts of everyday existence. It inculcates purity and harmony, the mystery of mutual charity, the romanticism of the social order. It is essentially a worship of the Imperfect, as it is a tender attempt to accomplish something possible in this impossible thing we know as life.” -Kakuzo, Okakura

With Every Sip We Take

There is a little ray of sunshine
in every single steeping cup
bringing the sweetest smile with each sip we take.
These leaves do warm us deep inside
it’s such pleasure on a freezing night
the wistful scent of joy to ease your tired eyes.
Your mind now wrapped around the china
only one thing in those thoughts
a delicious trip to savory distant lands.
Choices staring at you in numbers
which destination shall you choose
it doesn’t matter as each one will tell its tale.
– Bosiar

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Christian, Daily, Personal Musings, Reflections

Rescued From the Cycle

Posted on November 5, 2018October 10, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Choices. Temptations. Decisions. Consequences. Guilt. Regrets. Self-Condemnation. Again choices.

This vicious cycle we often find ourselves in is one of the greatest fallacies of man. While some of us may have a different order of events with more or less components, many of us have gone through either of these phases or emotions at innumerable number of places across varied time frames in our life. As a result, we frequently keep on changing our minds, to the point that sometimes we actually fail to understand what we really want or wish for.

How many times have prayed for something to happen and when it actually does, the timing is drastically wrong ? How many times have we lost sight of our focus we had when we had started off on the journey? How many times have we regretted the consequences of the actions made by our choices ? Unfortunately this is what man has to endure through his time on earth.

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Even the scriptures say that we can neither avoid the consequences of our choices nor we may be able to live up to the standards and expectations that we set for ourselves. There will be times when we will have frequent change of heart and when we would try to make ourselves right with God but fail. There is always a constant ongoing tussle between the Spirit within and the temptations of the flesh. This perpetual fracas between the right and the wrong choices, as well as the good and the bad decisions has been going ever since the beginning of time. Yet man is never helpless and lost as long as he keeps His Faith.

We always need something to fall back on, someone to lift our spirits and give us hope. For God is omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient; though we may not be able to speak to Him in person, inside our hearts and mind we know that He is there although at times we refuse to acknowledge this. Through the voice in our mind and heart, our gut instincts or the sixth sense and through our friends and family, His Spirit will speak to us and give us innumerable chances as long as we believe in His Love for man. As Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” This knowledge not only pulls us through troubled waters but also makes the voyage less dreary and more hopeful to endure so that we can finally reach the next shore.

To quote the verses from Romans 8:37-39, “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

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Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Choose the Shades

Posted on November 4, 2018November 4, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

With the advent of technology, there is a whole world of information out there. Along with it comes a slew of ideas, thoughts and opinions for the various events we find ourselves surrounded by. Consequently there is always a tussle between what is true or correct and what is wrong or falsified. Unfortunately not everything is in black or white, there are shades of gray that are far too many to differentiate. It becomes quite difficult to decide on the final course of action or words to reach an outcome.

Many claim on bringing the truth to light. Yet the truth can be tinged by the shades of relativity, haziness to opaqueness, lack or inaccessibility of information, communication deficits and sometimes varies as per one’s perspective. So how to discern the right and the wrong ? That’s when we remove the filters in our mind and look at the bare bones of basic facts.

Then we can imagine a blank page and then try drawing on it. With our senses finely attuned and instincts honed in, we can get the picture as long as all preconceived notions and perceptions are thrown out of mind. For besides misinterpretation, the latter clouds our individual thinking and judgement. Instead we lean on our strong sense of morality, honour and humanness to highlight the right colours to blend in as we draw the lines or curves. In such a scenario, the picture we draw would make us feel satisfied.

As an old Indian folklore goes, every blind man had felt the elephant but in parts, for none of them could step back and see the bigger picture. In real life, there may be situations where we have to decide an outcome or relay information, which would consequently lead to a chain of events which can be disastrous for some while positive for others. Then instead of clouding our minds with what we know, it’s easier to take a fresh page, write in the lines and then put in all the facts and knowledge that we have gleaned through our travels of life. For then even though perspectives may vary, the decisions will be based in a complete context on hard facts, certainty and true events not on speculation, hearsay or filtered imaginations. What’s good for one may be bad for others, but in the long run if both benefit then it is worth the change.

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The Blind Men and The Elephant

A long time ago in the valley of the Brahmaputra River in India there lived six men who were much inclined to boast of their wit and lore. Though they were no longer young and had all been blind since birth, they would compete with each other to see who could tell the tallest story. One day, however, they fell to arguing. The object of their dispute was the elephant. Now, since each was blind, none had ever seen that mighty beast of whom so many tales are told. So, to satisfy their minds and settle the dispute, they decided to go and seek out an elephant. Having hired a young guide, Dookiram by name, they set out early one morning in single file along the forest track, each placing his hands on the back of the man in front. It was not long before they came to a forest clearing where a huge bull elephant, quite tame, was standing contemplating his menu for the day.
The six blind men became quite excited; at last they would satisfy their minds. Thus it was that the men took turns to investigate the elephant’s shape and form.

As all six men were blind, neither of them could see the whole elephant and approached the elephant from different directions. After encountering the elephant, each man proclaimed in turn:
“O my brothers,” the first man at once cried out, “it is as sure as I am wise that this elephant is like a great mud wall baked hard in the sun.”
“Now, my brothers,” the second man exclaimed with a cry of dawning recognition, “I can tell you what shape this elephant is – he is exactly like a spear.”
The others smiled in disbelief.
“Why, dear brothers, do you not see,” said the third man, “this elephant is very much like a rope,” he shouted.
“Ha, I thought as much,” the fourth man declared excitedly, “this elephant much resembles a serpent.”
The others snorted their contempt.
“Good gracious, brothers,” the fifth man called out, “even a blind man can see what shape the elephant resembles most. Why he’s mightily like a fan.”
At last, it was the turn of the sixth old fellow and he proclaimed, “This sturdy pillar, brothers, mine, feels exactly like the trunk of a great areca palm tree.”
Of course, no one believed him.

Their curiosity satisfied, they all linked hands and followed the guide, Dookiram, back to the village. Once there, seated beneath a waving palm, the six blind men began disputing loud and long. Each now had his own opinion, firmly based on his own experience, of what an elephant is really like. For after all, each had felt the elephant for himself and knew that he was right!And so indeed he was. For depending on how the elephant is seen, each blind man was partly right, though all were in the wrong.

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Family and Society, Photography Art, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Simply Fruit

Posted on November 3, 2018November 3, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Hello. Welcome to the Portokalos family and welcome the-the Miller family. I-I was thinking last night, um, the night before my-my daughter was gonna marry, uh, I-an Miller, that, um, you know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word “milo”, which is mean apple, there you go. As many of you know, our name Portokalos is come from the Greek word “portolakli”, which means orange. So, okay, here tonight we have, uh, apple and orange… we all different, but, in the end, we all fruit,” said Gus Portokalos at his daughter Toula’s wedding reception.

In case if the reader is wondering the context and origin of these lines, they are from the romantic comedy film of My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002). The movie is centered on Fotoula “Toula” Portokalos, a Greek-American woman who in the middle of early mid-life crisis finally falls in love with Ian, an upper middle class White Anglo-Saxon Protestant American or simply put, a non-Greek American. Born into a an orthodox Greek family, Toula examines her relationship with family, with their cultural heritage and value system. Finally all ends well as the wedding takes with mutual appreciation of each others culture, tradition and customs.

Yet among the variety of funny dialogues, the words of Gus Portokalos resonate in the mind. Even though the speech is simple, the implicit message conveyed boils down to the fact that although we all are different, we eventually end up in the fruit basket. This truth is not confined to Greeks alone but is pertinent across all societies around the world. Similar situations have been encountered in different places not necessarily weddings, even the market places, work or on the daily commute. Fruit in whichever shape or size, chopped or as whole, garnished or plain or by whatever name or colour ultimately belongs to the big family of “fruit”.

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Putting this subtle yet profound realization into practice in our day-to-day interactions would bridge the discriminatory attitude towards the people we meet across the different walks of our life. While we may not agree with some of them, absolute disdain and disrespect of others based on physical or traditional characteristics would narrow the rich exposure of the flavours of life.

In fact, unknowingly our words and actions mirror our personality as well as the traditions and culture that we belong to. By pointing one finger at others, we fail to grasp that at least three of the remaining three fingers are directed back towards us. And if anyone directs their hand at others, know that the same hand is attached to our body which throws back a picture about the culture and upbringing of the person. So instead of wasting away precious time and energy over irrelevant and minor details, isn’t it easier to keep matters simple and enjoy the basket of fruit ?

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Daily, Family and Society, Photography Art, poetry

Who You Are

Posted on November 2, 2018October 13, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

As I was watching the preschoolers laugh and joyously enter the gates of their daycare, what passed through my mind was how much will change for them through the years. On a retrospective view, we had started off the years of toddler-hood with all innocence and a joyous outlook. As the years go by, we learn of names, colours, sizes and preferences. When the teenage years come, it becomes to more of a personal struggle to find ourselves. Sometimes we get lucky and find our settings and tuning by youth. Yet there are days when we still lose our bearings and need a little soul searching to get back on track. Whereas, some of us will need more years to wander to get the right track. When we heed to too many directions, we get confused and discover that we have lost ourselves on the way. Instead of running in circles and loops, to break free is the only way out. The truth is deep inside we know who we are, we only need to listen to it more to find and define ourselves back. Else the eternal doubt of “Who are you…” will always linger in mind, heart and soul.

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Not by Erin Hanson

You are not your age,
Nor the size of clothes you wear,
You are not a weight,
Or the colour of your hair.
You are not your name,
Or the dimples in your cheeks,
You are all the books you read,
And all the words you speak,
You are your croaky morning voice,
And the smiles you try to hide,
You’re the sweetness in your laughter,
And every tear you’ve cried,
You’re the songs you sing so loudly,
When you know you’re all alone,
You’re the places that you’ve been to,
And the one that you call home,
You’re the things that you believe in,
And the people that you love,
You’re the photos in your bedroom,
And the future you dream of,
You’re made of so much beauty,
But it seems that you forgot,
When you decided that you were defined,
By all the things you’re not.

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Christian, Life, Musique, Photography Art

For the Light Awakens

Posted on November 1, 2018October 9, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

After a late night shift, one longs for a morning of peace and quiet to sleep in. Though it is quite difficult to sleep during the mornings either because of the chaos and our circadian rhythm which goes haywire, so we end up doing chores and other miscellaneous work till we drop off from exhaustion; or because of the sunlight streaming through the windows which prevents the hours of the day turning into night.

Even though our working hours have stretched the normal boundaries of our sleep patterns, the rays of sunshine brightens the day and fosters a sense of calmness, to renew and recharge with a fresh start at another chance in life. Albeit in due course we do succumb to the tiredness and have to catch up on our sleep in order to stay refreshed, still the brightness of the day offers to make the gloomiest scene pretty and live-able. As John 1:5 says, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

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Nevertheless there are some days where even the light can’t dispel the gloomy blackness. In such cases, what we fail to realize that the inner light in us, through the tiny cracks in the shields of darkness will offer a slit for the rays so that there would be a guiding light to find a way out. Should our inner light fail, the rays of light from other true sources will be able to guide us as long as we cast one’s mind to look for them. Remember the stars, even the Pole Star even in the cloudy skies occasionally they show their light. As the lines from the “Sine nomine” go,
“And when the strife is fierce, the warfare long,
Steals on the ear the distant triumph song,
And hearts are brave, again, and arms are strong.”

Inner or overhead lights, either way unless we use them we will be standing still in the dark. The drawback is if we stay in perpetual darkness we will lose out on the wonders, songs and the joy of living.