Posted in Family and Society, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Plant the Worry Tree

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

In the present day, almost everyone holds a job. For instance, in a family of four, many a time both the husband and wife may be employed (or sometimes just the husband) or teenagers would be working part-time in order to contribute to their college fund. Even stay-at-home mothers have enough and more on their plate. Which or how ever may be the scenario or the reason, most of us hold jobs for certain hours everyday, after which we each return to our respective homes, either back to our families or shared quarters. The pressing question is how many of us bring our work with it’s own share of problems, back to our home ?

If we honestly answer, it would be an affirmative reply for many of us. Some of us may bring back our physical or actual work, others may bring back the problems and the mental as well as emotional difficulties faced that day, back with them while others may bring back both. Either way we lose out in our time at home with the family or our relaxation time for a whole load of stress again. The worst part  is that we get up the next day to start the whole cycle of “work-stress-work” again. For those of us who work in the areas that we like or have a keen interest in may disagree with the stress, by saying that work for them was never stressful. However, the fact is by bringing the work with or without the problems home; we are losing “family time” or “me-time” to recoup.

In my early days of college, there was a story told in one of my lectures, which I would like to share.

The carpenter who was hired to help a man restore an old farmhouse had just finished his first day on the job and everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong. First of all, on his way to work he had a flat tire that cost him an hour’s worth of pay, then his electric saw broke, and after work his old pickup truck refused to start. His new boss volunteered to give him a lift home and the whole way to his house the carpenter sat in stone silence as he stared out his window. Yet on arriving, he invited his boss in for a few minutes to meet his family. As they walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When he opened the door, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was one big smile as he hugged his two small children and kissed his wife. 

Afterwards, the man walked his boss to his car to say thank you. Now on their way out of the house, the boss’ curiosity got the best of him so he had to ask the man about the tree on the front porch. He said, I noticed when you came up on the porch before going into your house you stopped and touched the tree, why? “Oh, that’s my trouble tree,” he replied. “I know I can’t stop from having troubles out on the job, but one thing’s for sure – my troubles don’t belong in the house with my wife and children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again.” “Funny thing is,” he smiled, “when I come out in the morning to pick ‘em up, they aren’t nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.”

We all have encountered  our own share of troubles and struggles, some of us deal with it by bringing them with wherever we go, some might ignore it hoping it would go away somehow while others try to deal with their problems while their heads are still above water. The idea of hanging the problems on a “worry tree” or a ‘‘trouble tree” outside the door isn’t a bad one, in fact we can find our own modifications on dealing with the stresses. I have been successful in dealing with my own share of problems and worries by laying them down at the feet of the Lord. “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. (Psalm 55:22)”

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Posted in Christian, Quotes, Reflections, Work

Head-to-head or Not ?!

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

One of the hardest parts of social conversations especially in a public venue like the market with the vendors, at workplaces, in schools, social functions and even long-held traffic queues is the art of avoiding a confrontation or the brouhahas or the run-ins, however one wants to call it. Worse is to escape one even especially when it is inevitable.

It is very tricky to avoid pointing a finger and saying “Thy fault is thine own” especially when the hard fact is that the trouble didn’t start with us but has affected us in some manner or the other. Eventually we feel angry, irritated, upset and sometimes even feel like giving back either as strong words or by actions. And the more upsetting part is when we realize that whatever happened was the sole responsibility of the other person.

Human nature has few upsetting facets, one of them being that we tend to throw stones at others, especially when we ourselves stays in a glasshouse.

There are few easy ways to avoid these confrontations that I usually try using. First and the most trickiest one is to try and run away before eyes lock, heads turn and voices get heated up. If that doesn’t work and there is no nearest exit, then the other option is to try to change the subject or the topic of conversation.  One of the other strategies that often works for me is to try and let the other person rant and rave, let off some steam and move off graciously and inconspicuously. Fourth is to avoid voicing an opinion unless asked pointedly or if we have absolutely and strongly no choice but to say. This is when silences is really golden. Yet the most important of all is to stay away from such people. This is the most hardest of all, especially when we have to interact with such people either at work or in the community. But this is the most safest.

Our Scriptures also has multiple references about conflicts and confrontations. As per Mathew 18:15-17 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”

Though many a time, it may not be possible especially in public places to quietly correct any offense against us. In those moments, the words from 2 Timothy grant solace,”Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels (2 Timothy 2:23).”

All said, the most important thing is to not let our nature or peace of mind be affected. “You shall not hate your fellow countryman in your heart; you may surely reprove your neighbor, but shall not incur sin because of him. (Leviticus 19:17)”

Just like blind cannot lead the blind, neither can we overcome evil by doing or being evil. But we can overcome evil with good. For let not others spoil what we can achieve today or any day in our journey through life.

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Posted in Food, Photography Art, Quotes

Ice Cream-Art

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Among the priceless knowledge that has survived centuries of time, there is nothing that can bring forth joy like ice cream. Originally named as iced cream or cream ice, the roots of ice cream began in the first Persian empire (as early as 500 BC). Since then it has been modified with addition of fruits, honey, even rice and has been made into various versions such as sorbets, flavored sorbets and so on. Today ice cream has been added to sundaes, cakes, milkshakes and even can be baked. Although in the present day,ice cream is often sold in carts and local delis, at one point of time it was expensive and considered a privilege to the upper class. Since the mid-18th century it has been popularized and accessible to middle-class homes especially with Agnes Marshall’s recipe books.

All said, ice cream elicits an emotional response. In spite of the simplicity of ice-cream, each scoop brings forth its own flavours. Eating ice-cream is like an emotional and palatial feast. Maybe it’s because of the love and care that goes in with each scoop or maybe it’s because it just makes everyone happy. Even now if a drop of ice cream falls or scoop of ice cream spills over, brings deep disappointment.

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At home, being with my two year old son who is resistant to anything nutritious especially vegetables,fruits and even cereals; ice cream is an all time buffer. Like in most homes, on certain days ice cream is a treat or a reward for eating all the vegetables and fruits (though we limit it to 1 scoop). Other times, it’s a medium for various fruits and vegetables, ranging from diced kiwis, boiled baby carrots or corns, sliced berries or dates to even boiled rice, vermicelli, wheat and even oats.

Though the most important role to play is when surprise guests come over and I’m out of pie or cake for desserts. Then ice cream is the answer. Delicious treats can be made by adding hot chocolate or fudge, chopped peanuts or almonds, whipping cream, sprinkles or even candied fruit to a scoop of ice-cream and voila, dessert is ready. One can even reverse the combinations and add ice cream to pies, waffles coffee, biscuits and even doughnuts, depending on the mood for the day.

Be it summer or winter, ice cream is always stocked up in the freezer. I usually scour the net for various pictures of ice cream art which have inspired me to re-create, simulate or improvise. As too much of sugar is bad; a delicate balance has to be struck.

To quote Charles M. Schulz, best known for the comic strip Peanuts, “Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.”

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Posted in Christian, poetry, Reflections

Wait

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

I’ve read this poem many times, at different occasions and yet it speaks to me differently each time I read…and in each waiting season I face.

Wait
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, “Wait.”

“Wait? you say wait?” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.

“My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.

“You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.”

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, “Wait.”
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting for what?”

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

“I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.

“You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

“You’d never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

“The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

“You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I’m doing in you.

“So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait.”

There are many plans in the heart of man, but only the Lord’s will take place. Proverbs 19:21

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Work

Delegation vs. Micro-managing

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

All of us have heard about the seven wonders of the world. It includes the ancient, medieval and the modern architectural great works as separate lists. The works range from the Great Pyramids of Giza to the Great Wall of China, the Roman Colosseum, the Taj Mahal Of India, the Stonehenge and the Ely Cathedral of England to name a few. Coming to the modern world, the 20th century saw the Channel Tunnel, the Panama Canal, the Golden Gate Bridge among many others. All these works were not built in a day but required an immense amount of time, team work and skills, not by one lone person but by groups of people.

All said, the balance between “many hands make lighter work” and “too many cooks spoil the broth” has to be struck in time. The following anecdotal story is often used in various management training sessions.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it.It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Delegation of work is a fine art, which results in the final masterpiece. It is not humanly feasible to complete a big project or a responsibility by micro-managing every small item or by being the lone wolf. To achieve completion, would require the person who is in charge to delegate selected tasks to people. Yet the beauty of the completed project lies in the decisions to delegate what to whom and when. It also requires the in-charge to match the amount of work with the right degree of authority and responsibility. The entire accountability can’t be delegated but only some of the huge task.

Delegation doesn’t include just handing over. It encompasses communication of the rationale and benefits of the work, context for the project, setting down defined or expected standards, clarification of required results, granting of required authority, getting the necessary commitment, regular followups and above all to provide support for crossing over the hurdles.

Even the Scriptures is filled with detailed descriptions of delegation of work. For instance, Moses was laboring from dawn till late night attempting to resolve the conflicts among the Israelites (who were led out of Eygpt after 400 years of slavery) in the Sinai desert. Jethro, his father-in-law who was a priest of Midian saw the immense workload for Moses was not sustainable and he would head for trouble. He pulled Moses aside and celebrated what God had done through him, then gave him some wise invaluable counsel regarding the concept of delegation (Exodus 18:1-23). In I Kings, we read that Solomon had mastered the fine art of managing through men and the Kingdom was enlarged. Even our Lord Saviour was willing to delegate; as seen in Luke 10:1-23 for after the Lord had given detailed instruction, He sent seventy itinerant preachers who though were inexperienced and far less capable than their Teacher, they were blessed by God.

Delegation is an ongoing process and has the ability to reap far many dividends. As rightly said by H.E.Luccock, “No one can whistle a symphony. It takes a whole orchestra to play it.”

 

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Posted in Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World

The Price of Over-Thinking

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

One of the drawbacks to man is that we over-think a lot or to put it simply, we do a lot of speculations. The biggest disadvantage to this is that we unnecessarily work ourselves up, creating a whole lot of stress; not just to ourselves but even to those around us. Some of us may heard about the story “Want to borrow a jack ?”. It tells about over-speculation and the trouble it had created. For those of us who haven’t heard of the story; it is as follows.

“Want to borrow a jack?”

“A fellow was speeding down a country road late at night and BANG! went a tire. He got out and looked but he had no jack. Then he said to himself. ‘Well, I’ll just walk to the nearest farmhouse and borrow a jack.’ He saw a light in the distance and said, ‘Well, I’m in luck; the farmer’s up. I’ll just knock on the door and say I’m in trouble, would you please lend me a jack? And he’ll say, why sure, neighbor, help yourself, but bring it back.’ He walked on a little farther and the light went out so he said to himself, ‘Now he’s gone to bed, and he’ll be annoyed because I’m bothering him so he’ll probably want some money for his jack. And I’ll say, all right, it isn’t very neighborly but I’ll give you a quarter.And he’ll say, do you think you can get me out of bed in the middle of the night and then offer me a quarter? Give me a dollar or get yourself a jack somewhere else.’

“By the time he got to the farmhouse the fellow had worked himself into a lather. He turned into the gate and muttered. ‘A dollar! All right, I’ll give you a dollar. But not a cent more! A poor devil has an accident and all he needs is a jack. You probably won’t let me have one no matter what I give you. That’s the kind of guy you are.’

“Which brought him to the door and he knocked angrily, loudly. The farmer stuck his head out the window above the door and hollered down, ‘Who’s there? What do you want?’ The fellow stopped pounding on the door and yelled up, ‘You and your stupid jack! You know what you can do with it!’” There are many variations of the same story, “borrowing the jack” but the essence is the same.

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This is what often happens to many of us. In our life, we often land into problems that we can actually easily handle. Instead of facing them with calm and patience keeping a positive attitude; we behave with blind anger thinking of imagined wrongs and make enemies of people who may actually help us. The sad truth is we don’t realize it until someone else asks us with what actually happened. It only then we realize that we having been making a mountain out of a molehill. 

So at the end of the day, it’s easier to go with the flow than to over-think and end up being disappointed. In fact, less of speculations may result in us getting a lovely surprise instead.

Posted in Daily, Food, Photography Art

Squash-Fun with Jam-Art

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Last weekend we had a charity auction at church, consequence of which I had landed with two crates of black grapes i.e. about 20 kg. Nevertheless two days, everyone was sick of grapes even mixed with oatmeal, pancakes or desserts. Hence, it was a unanimous decision to make grape squash yesterday.

So towards late noon yesterday, the kitchen counters were grape stained and I ended with four big bottles of grape squash. The trick in making them right was to proportionate the grape extract to the sugar in a 1:2 proportion with the entire water required being equal to the amount of grape extract. In three simple steps;it was ready. First wash the grapes and boil them in just sufficient water so it gets cooked and while boiling continuously mash the grapes till it becomes thoroughly juicy. Strain the mix to get the grape extract and measure it. Second is to take the sugar (keep the amount twice the extract), add to it a minimal amount of lemon juice (1 tsp for 2.5 pounds sugar) and water (the entire water used should be equal to amount of grape extract) in a pan; and heat it till the sugar dissolves and bubbles up. To prevent charring of sugar, you make to intermittently stir the mix. Third, let the sugar syrup cool till room temperature and mix it with the grape extract to form a good consistent liquid. One can add grape extract (tonovin, 1 tsp for 2 pints or 1 litre of grape extract) or sodium benzoate (almost same measure as tonovin) if preferred. Since even refrigerated squash gets over fast at home, I had avoided the latter.

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On the whole, it was a fun experience for everyone including my two year old son who loved getting grape-stained. As for the remaining grapes, I had decided to make them into jam. Although making jam looks arduous, it’s actually easy and almost similar to squash, with few differences. Here the measure of grapes to the sugar is 2:1. It’s the same for all sweet fruits like strawberries, apricots but for bitter fruits like lemon and oranges we need a slightly higher amount of sugar ( I prefer a 2:1.5 ratio). 

There’s nothing better than having hot dripping homemade jam especially on cakes and in pies or cold jam layered on bread. Besides making jam keeps the kids from getting into mischief indoors especially on cold, rainy days of autumn. As Sandra Dallas said, “Jam on a winter took away the blue devils. It was like tasting summer. ”  Here are some pictures of jam-art to get inspired.

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