Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes, Reflections, Work

Strain of the Indisposition

On the days when the work schedule drags, the events then on tend to go on in a discordant manner. Eventually on reaching home, with the usual things not done like dinner late, homework hours not supervised and the like; the entire mood sours down and the evenings end on an unhappy or dissatisfied note. While journalling such days and reading them later on, at times it’s how one learns to behave when things go beyond the expectation (especially when in a negative manner) that makes the biggest difference in the long run.

“The greatest joys of life are happy memories. Your job is to create as many of them as possible.” Brian Tracy

Emotional infection is a deadly thing. A chain effect triggered by it can have far reaching consequences; avoidable, unnecessary with a significant negative impact, spoiling relationships and makes the daily hours unpleasant, of discontent as well as unhappy. As the scales of the balance go awry, the urge to initiate the “blame game” and point fingers start soon, as compared to making efforts to try and reschedule to get back on track. Guarantee for everything or anything never exists in reality. There is always a chance of a miss or an error present even in the best laid plans, schedules or goals. When one lets their emotions fly unchecked, the consequences can go deadly and far reaching, be it on the professional, personal or domestic front. To keep the inner peace best within, learning how to handle the unexpected is necessary skill. Though this may take time and plenty of effort, they are all worth when the impact is taken into account. For words and memories have a far lasting effect, than targets or achievements as scored on paper.

“I am convinced that the greatest legacy we can leave our children are happy memories: those precious moments so much like pebbles on the beach that are plucked from the white sand and placed in tiny boxes that lay undisturbed on tall shelves until one day they spill out and time repeats itself, with joy and sweet sadness, in the child now an adult.” Og Mandino

No matter how many precautionary measures one may take; when things go haywire, take a quick breathe and continue on. The art of learning to manage any curve-ball lies in the way we behave to these sudden turns. Instead of fretting and getting dejected on the “why me, why now” aspect, settling and finding effective be it temporary or permanent solutions may help make the days (or evenings) end better. More than achievements, goals or occasions, what stays etched in the mind are “feelings”. The feeling of calm and happiness in the children as their parents return from work, the approach that another person feels or learns as the crisis period is sorted and the cumulative efforts taken to settle any environment are just few of the better emotional memories that linger and stay on as the years pass through.

“I’d like the memory of me
to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow
of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo
whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times
and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve,
to dry before the sun
of happy memories
that I leave when life is done.”
Helen Lowrie Marshall

Posted in Family and Society, Personal Musings, Quotes, Random Thoughts, Work

Trace Not These Steps

Interacting with peers on the neighbourhood level, workplace to society on the whole, one walks through various situations. From the good-natured ribbing to snide remarks, comments are always being passed around, whether one wants to actively join in it or happens in own presence; inevitably it happens. In such moments, getting affected is easy. Among all those remarks, taking some in the true sense and few with a pinch of salt or just let them float above the mind helps.

“Keep on the sunny side.” Ada Blenkhorn

To keep the mind sane and thoughts happen, a lot of just walking away helps. To pass a remark in defense to company who really wants to pull one down, doesn’t really help. Instead time gets wasted in sorting out blurry thoughts all the time, some of which in hindsight, one realizes isn’t really worth it. To keep the thoughts in one’s right mind, one needs to learn when to leave or abstain from joining in purposeless and meaningless thoughts. Once we learn to walk away from the taunts and comments, one learns to embrace the challenges as they come, keeping the mind of reasonable thoughts, sane, happy, clam and at peace with a will to put the inner best forward.

“A lot of walking away will do your life good.
Walk away from arguments that lead you to anger and nowhere.
Walk away from people who deliberately put you down.
Walk away from the practice of pleasing people who choose to never see your worth. Walk away from any thought that undermines your peace of mind.
Walk away from judgmental people, they do not know the struggle you are facing and what you have been through. All away from your mistakes and fear, they do not determine your fate.
The more you walk away from things that poison your soul, the healthier your life will be.”
Dodinsky

Posted in Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Random Thoughts

Myriad Shades of Nature

“I think that to one in sympathy with nature, each season, in turn, seems the loveliest.” Mark Twain

An unexpected fill in for an outstation workshop had resulted in the journey to the city of my high school days, one of my Alma maters. Landing at the airport, with the cold winds and temperatures dropping down fast, the journey had caught me unawares especially as the winter winds had long left my residence towards the first month of the year. Acclimatizing to the sudden change makes one realize the manifold faces of nature.

“In Ohio seasons are theatrical. Each one enters like a prima donna, convinced its performance is the reason the world has people in it.” Toni Morrison

Like the sudden change of the winds, so does the emotions and complexity of those moments. Experiences in life bring forth the faces of emotions from within. From the quiet feelings of contentment to blooming happiness as the uneasiness, anger and fury at difficult situations, life takes one on a myriad of emotions similar to the roller coaster ride of nature. One needs all the bad to feel the beauty of the good. Like the pristine winter white can echo the contentment as well as loneliness, so does the fledgling spring echo the new life in the bleak canvas as well the blistering heat of summer which bring out the joy of outdoors to the prequel of the rains of autumns cold but leave a touch of colour when there. One needs them all to feel complete. For contentment doesn’t come when we have the best of the best, but learn to appreciate the present in the midst of the worst.

The Human Seasons

Four Seasons fill the measure of the year;
There are four seasons in the mind of man:
He has his lusty Spring, when fancy clear
Takes in all beauty with an easy span:
He has his Summer, when luxuriously
Spring’s honied cud of youthful thought he loves
To ruminate, and by such dreaming high
Is nearest unto heaven: quiet coves
His soul has in its Autumn, when his wings
He furleth close; contented so to look
On mists in idleness–to let fair things
Pass by unheeded as a threshold brook.
He has his Winter too of pale misfeature,
Or else he would forego his mortal nature.

John Keats

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Reflections

On the Canvas

“Real generosity towards the future lies in giving all to the present.” Albert Camus (Notebooks 1935-1942)

One of the best things about entertaining a group of toddlers, is their spontaneity. Following their flow of energy, children are more keen on dwelling in the “now”. What about the adult “nows”? More or less, they do happen more in the professional sphere than the personal zone. Eventually some “now” never happens, neither does “the later”.

As each of us “adult” reserve their time and energy for the tomorrow, those proposed plans mayn’t happen. Time has it’s own flow. At times the tomorrows may work out, at times it mayn’t be so. If it was done at the “now” of then, then maybe it would be have happened or done only. Time has and always will be contrary. Sometimes as the toddlers say “let’s play tent” or “play with us” maybe some of the most precious memories made as one unwinds from work than catching up with “the telly”.

“It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.” George Harrison

Time has a beginning and ending, but those moments in between are what fills up the blank canvas. It may be filled by phases of dark hues, spots of brightness scattered in the dark template or hues of varying colours depending on own choice. As one decides on how the space on the canvas needs to be made so for the future days, take care that the spaces of now don’t go void.

Hymn to Time

Time says “Let there be”
every moment and instantly
there is space and the radiance
of each bright galaxy.

And eyes beholding radiance.
And the gnats’ flickering dance.
And the seas’ expanse.
And death, and chance.

Time makes room
for going and coming home
and in time’s womb
begins all ending.

Time is being and being
time, it is all one thing,
the shining, the seeing,
the dark abounding.

Ursula K. Le Guin (1929-2018)
(From Late in the Day: Poems 2010-2014 (PM Press, 2015). Copyright © 2015 by Ursula K. Le Guin.).

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Reflections, Stories Around the World

A Hand We all Need

While doing the weekend stint of shopping, the difficulty in managing a capricious toddler was fully felt. From cooperating in the first few minutes to putting everything into the cart and running loose down the aisles, I had my hands fully occupied. Fortunately, a kind saleslady took some pity and gave me a hand while making my toddler help her in putting the sticker on the weighed and bagged vegetables.

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” John Holmes

One needs help in many forms. From being given a space in the traffic queue during rush hour to given a compliment for the successful completion of a project or trying a new skill, settling into a new neighbourhood, we all need various degrees of help. While some types of help may be in a pure physical manner, others may be in the form of lending an ear more than a hand or simply offering mental support to ease the burdens and stress. Happiness mayn’t be so, if achieved by the sole exclusivity of the world around one. Instead the sheer joy of giving and receiving help in any form may result in a shared feeling of contentment, a state of happiness, peace and calm.

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I parked in front of a mall, wiping my car, when a tramp approached me. From the looks of him, he had no car, no home, no clean clothes, and no money. There are times when you feel generous but sometimes you just don’t want to be bothered. This was one of those “don’t want to be bothered times”. I hope he doesn’t ask me for money, I thought. He didn’t. He sat down on the curb and after a few minutes he spoke. “That’s a very pretty car,” he said. He was ragged but he had an air of dignity around him. His scraggly beard keep more than his face warm. I said, “Thanks,” and continued wiping my car. He sat quietly. The expected plea for money never came. As the silence between us widened something inside me said, “Ask him if he needs any help.” I was sure he would say “Yes” but I held true to the inner voice. “Do you need any help?” I asked. He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never forget. We often look for wisdom in great men and women. We expect it from those of higher learning and accomplishments. I expected nothing but an outstretched grimy hand. But he spoke the three words that shook me.

“Don’t we all?” he said.

I was feeling high and mighty, successful and important, above a tramp in the street, until those three words hit me. *Don’t we all?* I needed help. Maybe not for a meal or a place to sleep, but I needed help. I reached in my wallet and gave him enough to get a warm meal. Those three little words still ring true.

No matter how much you have, no matter how much you have accomplished, you need help too. No matter how little you have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even without money or a place to sleep, you can give help. Even if it’s just a compliment, you can give that. You never know when you may see someone that appears to have it all. But they may be waiting for you to give them what they don’t have! A different perspective on life. A glimpse at something beautiful. A respite from daily chaos, that only you with a different view can see. Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets. Maybe he was more than that. Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and wise, to minister to people too comfortable in themselves. Maybe God looked down, called an Angel, dressed him like a tramp, then said, “Go minister to that man cleaning the car, that man needs help.” *DON’T WE ALL?*

Source: vk.com”

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Random Thoughts, Stories Around the World

When Shared, then Found

“If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap.’
If you want happiness for a day — go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.”
Chinese Proverb

One of the gifts of the holiday season is the delightful art of bringing that smile on the faces around us. With all the carol singing, Christmas games at the retirement and palliative homes, the local teen and youth community had an engaging and meaningful Christmas time. A week later while reviewing the photographs and write-ups in the community newsletter, the happy accounts and candid moments brought a smile from within the heart.

“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” Buddha

Many a time, happiness is accounted by the gifts accumulated, places visited, accolades and awards received and other social markers (as perceived by society) obtained. Yet the reality is far from that. True that all these achievements and more, may bring some amount of pleasure and joy; but does it ever last.

Doing and scoring for oneself brings only meaning at the height of achievement. If there aren’t any who really share in our happiness from within, it holds no meaning. Yet bringing a smile on a stranger’s face by saying “thank you” or offering assistance to a mother with a struggling toddler to help with their grocery cart in the long queue; these hold a wealth of meaning as they bring a smile from the bottom of the heart.

Truly being happy is never by capturing the butterfly, but allowing it to fly and share the colours it has along the path it takes, bringing smiles of happiness, peace, joy and contentment everywhere.

FIND HAPPINESS
Once a group of 50 people were attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each attendee one balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.

Now these delegates were let into that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos.

At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon. Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.

The speaker then began, “This is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.

Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness. And this is the purpose of human life…the pursuit of happiness.”

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Priceless in More Ways than One

One of the most treasured possessions in the family chest is the watch my grandfather had given my brother for his graduation. Those days with the economic slow down hitting hard, this graduation gift had meant a lot of saving, toil and loss of the daily pleasures which may have affordable if not set aside for the watch. Looking through our grandfather’s eyes, his days had echoed the effect of the Great Depression and the feel of not having the benefits of today. Each effort for a better tomorrow included certain sacrifices from both our grandparents. In comparison to the days of the present, every help or sacrifice whether it be in relative terms or not, as long as it is from the heart; it makes a difference for all.

“Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it. You’re just passing it on to someone else.” Mitch Albom

None of us really don’t know the extent of the priceless things that we have been blessed with. Reflecting back, each one of us have been showered with infinite Grace and blessings, many which may go beyond than what may have been expected. Underlining these blessings, lie hidden hours of unending sacrifices and priceless sequence of events, made so by giving their all to ensure their best. The truth is the one realizes the priceless treasures that each of us hold, a bit too late. Beyond the physical world, to feel the immense selflessness, love and warmth of human nature, it is those that are priceless that matter the most.

She paid the highest price.
The seller stood behind the store counter and stared absently at the street. One little girl went to the store and literally stuck to the window. When she saw what she was looking for, her eyes sparkled with delight. She went inside and asked her to be shown the turquoise beads. “This is for my sister. Can you wrap them beautifully?”, asked the girl. The owner looked in disbelief at the baby and asked:”And how much money do you have?” The girl pulled a handkerchief from her pocket, unfolded it and poured a handful of little things onto the counter. With hope in her voice, she asked: “Is that enough?” There were only a few small coins. The girl proudly continued: “You know, I want to make a present to my older sister.” Since our mother died, my sister takes care of us, and she does not have time for herself. Today is her birthday and I am sure that she will be happy to receive such beads, they will be very suitable for the color of her eyes.

The man took the beads, went deep into the store, brought the case, put the turquoise in it, wrapped it with a ribbon and tied a bow. ” Hold on!”, he said to the girl,” And carry it carefully!” The girl ran out and skipped toward the house. The working day was drawing to a close when a young girl crossed the threshold of the same store. She put on the counter a case familiar to the seller and separately wrapping paper and an untied bow. “Were these beads bought here? How much did they cost? ”
“BUT!”, said the owner of the store, “the cost of any product in my store is always a confidential agreement between me and the client.” The girl said: “But my sister only had a few coins.” Beads from real turquoise, right? They must be very expensive. We can’t afford it.”

The man took the case, with great tenderness and warmth restored the packaging, handed it to the girl and said:“She paid the highest price … More than any adult could pay: she gave everything she had.” Silence filled a small shop, and two tears rolled down the face of a girl clutching a small bundle in her trembling hand …