love – Page 10 – Sugar And Spice… Among Other Things

Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

To Just Stay

Posted on April 7, 2019February 21, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” Maya Angelou

One of the reasons’ why man needs his social surroundings be it family, friends or community is largely based on his ability to love and be loved. Here the aspect of love doesn’t focus solely on the relationship between two people, but between a network of people whose happiness are directly or indirectly influenced and dependent on the other. For “love” encompasses kindness, understanding, mutual respect, forgiveness and empathy.

“Love is a friendship set to music.” Joseph Campbell

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One never realizes the intricate role that he or she may play in the life of the other. While it may seem trivial or a passing touch for one, it drastically change the life for the other. Learning to be gracious and kind is one of the facets of love. Love isn’t simply declared by showering of gifts, spending time with only those one knows or granting favours sometimes beyond one’s reach. Love also includes just being there and listening.

“The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” Albert Ellis

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

While doing the preparatory lessons on the aspect of biblical love, I had read an encounter based on events in the hospital room of a retired service man. What struck my mind on reading “Love Stays” was the fact that “human love” for the fellow being goes beyond boundaries, imagination and guidelines set by man. Even though for one it may be trivial and require very little effort and time on their part, for the other it would be a life changing moment. Choosing to spend our time with love, kindness and empathy would go a long way, especially when one knows that life has a boomerang effect, when we least expect it.

“And now these three abide: faith, hope, love; but love is more of them.”
(1 Corinthians 13:13)

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Love Stays

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. “Your son is here,” she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened. Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man’s limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement. The nurse brought a chair so that the marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night, the young marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man’s hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital – the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.
Now and then, she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night. Along towards dawn, the old man died. The marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited. Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her. “Who was that man?” he asked. The nurse was startled, “He was your father,” she answered. “No, he wasn’t,” the marine replied. “I never saw him before in my life.”
“Then why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?”
“I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn’t here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.”
The next time someone needs you … just be there. Stay.

Note: This is not a true story, but an incredible work of fiction written by Roy Popkin in 1964. It was published under the title “Night Watch” in the September 1965 edition of Reader’s Digest. Due to its highly emotional pull, the story has been re-circulated online since the 1990s under a variety of titles such as “Just Stay” and “He Needed a Son.”

“Everyone has a purpose in life and a unique talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.” Kallam Anji Reddy

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Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Like A Child’s Love

Posted on April 3, 2019January 12, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Just imagine becoming the way you used to be as a very young child, before you understood the meaning of any word, before opinions took over your mind. The real you is loving, joyful, and free. The real you is just like a flower, just like the wind, just like the ocean, just like the sun.” Don Miguel Ruiz

Children are simply beautiful. Interacting with children all day long, one is always fascinated by the numerous expressions, emotions they undergo, the innocent laughter and their mischief. A child’s love is always untainted at heart. Unfortunately as they grow from toddlers to adolescence, we adults and collectively society as well as media influences them, such that they lose their own selves and plunge into the niche that society carves for them. As parents, it is difficult to fight against this phenomenon as this has become the way of life and children will eventually grow, evolve and develop. Which is why, the growing years of a child are the most precious ones for parents and guardians.

“What it’s like to be a parent: It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love.” Nicholas Sparks

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

The concept of unconditional love is witnessed very often through parenting. A child’s love is never labelled nor constrained. In their very early years, their unblemished minds and hearts have no limits or barriers or categorization on their love, kindness and care. A child’s reasoning mayn’t be understood by adults. Yet as we wait to see the turn of events, one realizes that their acts of childhood are always based on their untainted guileless love and kindness. To be like a child, is a gift for the mind, body and spirit.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Lao Tzu

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

“Some time ago, a man punished his young daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became angry when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the girl brought the gift to her father on Christmas day and said, ‘This is for you, daddy.’
The man became embarrassed by his overreaction a few days before, but his rage continued when he saw that the box was empty. He yelled at her, ‘Don’t you know, when you give someone a gift, there’s supposed to be something inside?’
The little girl looked up at her dad with tears in her eyes and cried; ‘Oh, daddy, it’s not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They’re all for you, daddy.’The father was devastated. He put his arms around his daughter, and begged for her forgiveness.

A little while later, the girl died in an accident. Her father kept the gold box by his bed for many years and, whenever he was feeling down, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.”

“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” Victor Hugo

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Daily, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections

Once Upon A Time

Posted on March 27, 2019January 8, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“…..And they lived happily after.”

One of the many endings often read; fairy tales and bed time classics have been going around for years, doing their fair share of imagination, creativity and togetherness during the childhood years. From the far-fetched tales of talking animals to almost realistic tales; fairy tale also known as magic tale or Marchen is a folklore genre, which typically features dwarfs, dragons, elves, fairies, giants to list a few. The common thread between various folklore tales across the globe is the “moral sense” of right and wrong being instilled in the young minds.

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” Neil Gaiman

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As we grow up, we start cross examining these stories with reality. Then why do we need fairy tales? What are we seeking for in them? Do fairy-tales help us dream of good, affection, triumph over evil ? Are fairy-tales and classics a mirage that hide the true realities of life from children ?

“There is many a monster who wears the form of a man; it is better of the two to have the heart of a man and the form of a monster. ” -Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont, Beauty and the Beast

In the fairy tale, joy and love wins with everything being fair especially at the end. From the brave princes to Snow White and mermaids, kind old dwarf to naughty elves; fairy tales bring to life cozy home, adventures and dreams. Yet is the reality different or can we chose to make the best of the beginnings and endings that we receive ?

“Outside, on the bough of a tree, sat the living nightingale. She had heard of the emperor’s illness, and was therefore come to sing to him of hope and trust. And as she sung, the shadows grew paler and paler.” -Hans Christian Andersen, “The Nightingale”

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Far from being extinct, fairy tales do have reasons to stay. The start of any fairy tale is one of adventure, inspiration and dreams. As the story unfolds and trials start; the fight against evil, the power of hope and reassurance that despite all odds things will turn out to be alright in the end when we believe in the true power of love, kindness, honesty and persevere for our dreams. Reassuring us to be ourselves, being honest and treasuring the gifts of life are few of the many subtle messages hidden in a fairy tale or the classics.

“You’re entirely bonkers, but I’ll tell you a secret, all the best people are.” Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

In the modern era of “smart technology”, preserving the art of reading aloud, bonding together and family time would go a long way into modeling our children for the future. So read them fairy tales once in a while. Give them stories to love, cherish and dream on. Maybe later in this world it would be easier for them to survive, cope, adapt and live life to their dreams.

“Every man’s life is a fairy tale written by God’s fingers.” Hans Christian Andersen

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Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings

Letters to Cherish

Posted on March 21, 2019December 16, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“PS, I Love You” the first novel written by Cecelia Ahern, published in 2004 was adapted as a film three years later. The book is based on a married couple Gerry and Holly, deeply in love with occasional fights, yet both are inseparable. When Gerry suddenly dies of a brain tumor, Holly is set adrift in despair and grief, unable to deal with his death and withdrawing from friends and family. One day her mother calls her informing her of a package addressed to her. It held a series of letters Gerry had left for her before he died, containing messages from him, all ending with “P.S. I Love You”. Each new message fills her with encouragement every month and with Gerry’s words as her guide, Holly slowly embarks on a journey of rediscovery.

Both the book and the movie are heart touching, though I preferred the former. Yet the underlying message beyond the fact that time is never predictable is that we should treasure the good moments to always fall back on. Waiting for a warning bell to strike and remind us of how everything can end in a matter of minutes, it is better to string the good memories for our family and friends as we go on our daily lives.

For our friends, once in a while write about what we love about them, the sorrows which they helped us to overcome, the celebrations that they were there for as well as the occasional clashes and better times. When we journal these events, we realize that we have lots to thank them for. Carry this trend into family, for our husband, kids and parents. There is nothing more precious than the written words of care, love and affection that the digital age can’t equalize. Till this day, I hold the letter that my mother and sister wrote to me when I was in college and they bring back fresh memories every time I feel like reading them.

Once a year, write a letter to your child, regaling the funny stories about what had happened to them that year; about the difficulties, mishaps, joys and fun times. Write down your thoughts concerning their future, your memories and emotions as they went about their days, the important events of that year for family and for each one of them. Add on to the letter with photos, postcards, little stick-ons, tiny notes and other memorabilia which would otherwise disappear later. In the end of the letter, don’t forget to tell them that you love them.

After closing the letter, put it in a binder and forget about it. Keep on writing a letter this every year till they reach the age of majority. On the day they reach the official age of adulthood, give them the folder. It will be an invaluable repository of parental love and memory of their childhood. These letters would be with them through joyful as well as difficult moments and trying times. Above all, it will be a reminder that your love will be with them always.

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Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

When Measured By the Same

Posted on March 14, 2019December 8, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.” Malcolm Forbes

All of us have our own set of scales to assess people. Interestingly what we don’t realize is that the way we measure others and declare that they don’t meet up to the mark, would astound us when we try to measure ourselves by the same scales. Our existence in this world reflects on the balanced act of how we treat others as well as the standards by which we set ourselves to live by. For both to be synchronous to attain a harmonious and peaceful existence, one would need to remove the beam from one’s own eyes before removing the mote from the eyes of others. For the shame in oneself when the scales are reversed will be disheartening and tragic.

“If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” J. K. Rowling

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

The wife of a poor man was cooking butter, and he was selling it in one of the groceries. His wife was cooking oil in the form of circles weighing a kilogram. And he sold them to the grocer and bought the necessities for his house. One day, the grocer doubted the weight of the oil he bought and, after weighing each circle, saw that they weighed 900 grams. He was angry with the poor man. The next day, when the poor man came to him, he met him in anger and said to him, “I will not buy from you anymore, because you sell me butter, saying that it weighs a kilogram, and it weighs only 900 grams.”
Then the poor man, being upset and dropping his head said, “ We, oh my lord, do not have scales, but I bought sugar from you and made it for myself to measure, in order to weigh the butter with it.”
“Know that your measure will be measured and you!”

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Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Echoes In Us

Posted on March 8, 2019January 7, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of beautiful marbles. The girl had some candies with her. The boy offered to give the girl all his marbles in exchange for all her candies. The girl agreed. The boy gave all the marbles to the girl, but secretly kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble for himself. The girl gave him all her candies as she had promised. That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn’t sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some more tasty candies from him the way he had hidden his best marble.”

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Although this is a childhood tale; at some time in our lives, we would have behaved a little like the boy or the girl. For those of us who remember those moments, the niggling sense of unease fills us all, disturbing our inner peace and quiet. On occasions like these when one looks back, what comes forefront to mind is that, “Was the holding back worth it or would the peace brought by honesty made our day more beautiful instead ?”

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” Thomas Jefferson

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As we grow older and mature with age, we realize that there are many things in life that are more worth when shared than kept hidden. There would be occasions that would call for an honest response on one hand, but would cause unrest and distress on the other hand. Dealing with an honest attitude is like stepping into murky waters sometimes. Brute honesty while well appreciated can cause more hurt when delivered in a thoughtless and tactless manner. Being honest isn’t confined to being brute. Instead one can be honest with a heavy dose of kindness laced with gentleness. The endpoint is the clarity of the conscience. There is nothing more disturbing that having a niggling thought intruding the mind, like a pesky buzz near the ear. As we strive to make sure that the conscience is always at ease, life becomes simple, better and sweet.

“A clear conscience is more valuable than wealth.” Tagalog (Filipino) saying

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Christian, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections

After We Go

Posted on February 27, 2019December 7, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“What remains after us when we are gone? Will it be of bills, cars, apartments, houses or debts, loans, mortgages as a part of the physical aspects.”

“What will be left after you when you are gone? Will it be memories of shortcomings, the unsaid “love”, grudges, resentment, bitterness and pride. What will remain? Our creativity, our poems, our songs or will it be our indifference, our arrogance, our licentiousness or rumors laced with good fame or a thin reputation?”

“You make your mark by being true to who you are and letting that be your staple.” Kat Graham

This question has seared our hearts and minds knowingly or unknowingly. For leaving a legacy behind is no easy feat. Besides requiring purpose, direction and effort; it also requires us to develop a sense of humanness to touch hearts as we journey on in life.

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“What will our children say about us and what will our grandchildren remember?” For to leave behind treasured memories of love, kindness, forgiveness, laughter, vitality, hope, acceptance, generosity, sacrifice, respect, wisdom, humility, patience, faith; every day you need to ask yourself the question: “What will be left after me when I will not be?”

“All good men and women must take responsibility to create legacies that will take the next generation to a level we could only imagine.” Jim Rohn

Building a legacy doesn’t mean it is confined to family alone, but also encompasses shared memories in the minds and hearts of society, colleagues and neighbours. After our time in this world, we may not be able to carry out anything but only leave behind. While ancient civilizations practiced burying the remains with materials for after life; in reality we haven’t been able to provide scientific evidence of after life. Yet what we have is the words, actions and memories of today and yesterday for the future to know, remember and share. Wouldn’t it be better to do something today that tomorrow would treasure ? Above all, leaving behind a legacy would make our time, be it short or long; more fruitful besides being mentally, spiritually and emotionally satisfying and being content, happy and peaceful within.

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” Shannon L. Alder

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