mental health – Page 7 – Sugar And Spice… Among Other Things

Daily, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Words Worth “Weight in Gold”

Posted on June 20, 2019March 17, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it all into words is all that is necessary.” Margaret Cousins

As part of developing work etiquette as well as relationship skills within the workplace, there was an assignment given in one of the workshops where in each one of the ten participants were supposed to list and write anonymously the most difficult colleague to work with among them. In the second phase, the requirement was to write one quality that one could remember well about that person and anonymously the paper was handed over to them. Two weeks later, the feedback was collected about the change in the relationship with that same person. much to the surprise of the psychologist conducting the session, the dislike wasn’t there as much as before with the workshop. Besides the relationship between the colleagues as well as the workplace atmosphere had improved as per the ratings scale.

“Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.” Northrup Christiane

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that among the many things that man craves, one of the most common, but less talked about are “the feeling of being appreciated.” The person who delivers the daily paper, the cashier who bags the groceries in an efficient and neat manner, the waitress at the deli who brings us the lunch order quickly or even the bus driver who patiently waits for us to board the bus with the groceries, shopping and toddler in tow, are few of the many people that silently help us in the daily life. While most of their behaviour is a part of the service they provide us; it does take time and patience to do any task diligently.

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

While we may silently acknowledge, saying those words out loud will bring a positive feeling not only towards them but within ourselves too. One of the gifts that we humans have been blessed with is the skill of communication. What better way is there to use that and exchange words of appreciation that lifts up those around us?

“Being told something positive about yourself, whether from someone you’re close to, or a passing acquaintance, should really lift the spirits. Just the fact that someone has taken the time to let you know, should have you feeling noticed and appreciated.” Paul Bailey

While one shouldn’t wait to earn them; when one feels that what has been done for them is good, express the gratitude by sharing the feelings as kind words. It’ll go a long way to lift up the moods around for each one will never know the complete story of the other person. Do one’s bit and spread good cheer and kindness around.

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” Voltaire

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

“I DIDN’T KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ME SO”

Once, a math teacher from Minnesota gave the students the following task: to make a list of the class, think what you like most about each of your classmates, and write down this quality opposite his last name. At the end of the lesson she collected lists. That was on Friday. Over the weekend, she processed the results and on Monday handed out to each student a piece of paper on which all the good things her classmates noticed in her were distributed. The guys were reading, here and there whispering was heard: “Is it all about me? I didn’t know that they love me so much.” They did not discuss the results in class, but the teacher knew that she had reached the goal. Her students believed in themselves.
A few years later one of these guys died in Vietnam. He was buried at home in Minnesota. Friends, former classmates, and teachers came to say goodbye to him. At the commemoration, his father went up to a math teacher: “I want to show you something,” he took out a folded sheet of paper folded in folds from his wallet. “It was obvious that he had been read and re-read many times. – It is found in the things of the son. He did not part with him. Do you recognize? “
He handed the paper to her. It was a list of positive qualities that classmates noticed in his son. “Thank you so much,” his mother said. – Our son so valued it.
And then an amazing thing happened: one by one, classmates took out the same sheets. Many always kept them in their wallet. Someone even kept them in their family album. One of them said: “We all kept these lists. Is it possible to throw it away? ”
– Gary Chapman, “Five Ways to a Child’s Heart

“Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life and you’ll find that you have more of it.” Ralph Marston

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Daily, Life, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

Mark the “Present” First

Posted on June 19, 2019June 6, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

With the scorching heat of the summer giving way to the wet rainy days, one is forced to reckon the the mud and wet roads along with the joy and the smell of fresh earth, not to forget the fact of getting wet with the rain perpetually on the daily commute to work. These thundering wet days often draws forth the longing for the dry windy days of autumn or the fresh days of spring. Nature, unheeding just goes on and teaches man to find the joy in all, giving us a bit of everything there.

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” Oprah Winfrey

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Man being man, will always longs for the next event. One always has a long never-ending list of “wants” and “dreams of doing better” and achieving something in life. While there is nothing wrong in trying to change for the better; many a time we lose the beauty and the pleasures of the present in the quest for ” the better future”. Each one of us longs to leave behind our own mark in this world. Yet “this mark” starts not in the future, but in the days and hours that we live this minute. To make changes, the individual character and disposition matters more than circumstances. Finding contentment amidst the quest for the better tomorrow is indeed an art and an attribute best to “live every moment of life”.

“The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.” Martha Washington

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Contentment

It was spring but it was summer I wanted; the warm days and the great outdoors.
It was summer but it was autumn I wanted; the colourful leaves and the cool dry air.
It was autumn but it was winter I wanted; the beautiful snow and the joy of the holiday season.
It was winter but it was spring I wanted; the warmth and the blossoming of nature.
I was a child but it was adulthood I wanted; the freedom and the respect.
I was twenty but it was thirty I wanted; to be mature and sophisticated.
I was middle-aged but it was twenty I wanted; the youth and the free spirit.
I was retired but it was middle-age that I wanted; the presence of mind without limitations.
My life was over but I never got what I wanted.
Source: “Calm My Anxious Heart” by Linda Dillow

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Christian, Daily, Family and Society, Life, Reflections

“Situational Awareness” From Within

Posted on June 16, 2019June 15, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“This is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight.” (Philippians 1:9)

With the long weekend off from work and the longing to go somewhere new, the whole joint family, with grandparents, children and all of us “working adults” found ourselves onward to the nearest hill station for an impromptu getaway. While exploring the national parks, wildlife boat rides as well as the mini treks, the constant checking if everyone was there, paying attention to those around us as well as what was going on. Today on reflecting the events of the past few days, the realization of how we were all silently practising the art of “situational awareness” had come as a surprise. The sad truth is the time such that the world we live in; it isn’t safe anymore.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5)

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Source:https://vk.com/we_live_a

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

The concept of “situational awareness” has been drilled into military, law and order as well as defense to be their second nature. Yet with changing times, the more we see or hear of the current scenarios, the gravity and need for “being awake and alert” with every situation from a very young age arises. the everyday life demands that the consideration of the complexity of people, relationships, bills, jobs and responsibilities. One needs to have an innate awareness of their surroundings no matter how engrossing the task at hand may be or whether one is in a hurry. Even if cellphones are at hand, earphones on or if one is prepared; unless one stays awake, alert and aware, things may go out of hand.

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? ” (1 Corinthians 6:19)

Source: https://vk.com/public75290000

Source: https://vk.com/we_live_a

Situational awareness doesn’t exist based on physical, social or emotional front alone, but also on a spiritual level. Going downhill may take only a few moments, the struggle lies in going upwards and in the right way. The honest, true and just way is never easy. To fall into traps, snares and temptations along the journey in life can happen in a single moment, yet the ramifications can be huge, irreversible and regrettable. Which is why constant renewal of faith through His Word is necessary in these times.

“When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.” (John 16:13)

Prayer should echo the desire for increasing discernment with respect to the who, what, where and why of the situation. Going to the extreme of “being aware” would result in a load of worry, skepticism as well as unrest within. Instead seek His Word, His Wisdom and Guidance so as to remove the blinders from our eyes and see the complete picture around us. The best way of living would be when our lives springs from within with the awareness of God. Doing so would enable us to be “situationally aware” at all fronts of physical, social, emotional, mental as well as spiritual levels. Each one is given one life to live. While chances may be between few or many, it’s how we change situations or use them while being “alert and aware” is what matters the most. Just like time can never be reversed, life goes on always.

“Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him.” ( Proverbs 26:4)

Source: https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Christian, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

The “Atmosphere” Around Us

Posted on June 10, 2019June 9, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Once a wise man was asked: “How can you recognize a good man?”
The sage replied: “This is not what he says or what he seems to be, but the atmosphere that is created in his presence. That is what evidence is. For no one is able to create an atmosphere that does not belong to his spirit.”

In the daily, once-in-a-while or chance encounters in our life, there are numerous people that we meet. Like the colleague from another department whom we meet when at lunch once in a while or the acquaintance at the gym or at the coffee shop line up whose times match ours and so on. The list is endless. Yet some people stay on in our minds. While these people may have done something remarkable, friendly or not; their presence is noted by us and at times we look forward to those encounters. What makes those “chance encounters” significant ? May be its’ because we like to meet them or they remind us of ourselves or simply put, it may be because of the aura or atmosphere around them.

“People are sent into our lives to teach us things that we need to learn about ourselves.” Mandy Hale

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Each person has a presence about them, reflecting their state of mind. When one is happy, we spread the happiness. When one is constantly plagued by troubled thoughts and insecurities, the “feel” around us would be one of “worries”. Likewise this “feel around us ” is what others perceive. We reflect ourselves around.

“It is when you lose sight of yourself, that you lose your way. To keep your truth in sight you must keep yourself in sight and the world to you should be a mirror to reflect to you your image; the world should be a mirror that you reflect upon.” C. JoyBell C.

Whether is it really important to concern ourselves with ” the atmosphere” we create, is a matter of perspective. In today’s society, life has innumerable opportunities and chances. Yet by constantly blocking them with the “negative vibes” around us would cause more regrets and lost “chances” down the lane. When a person has a good feel around them, spreading the happiness; we internally learn to deal and overcome the sorrows that we hold. Life is not always a cup of tea. Even for the “most rich and bountiful” it holds true in some aspect or the other. Just as no one is perfect, a person with a really perfect life is an abstract thought or reality. Each one has their own share of difficulties; but whether we chose to carry them like a “heavy bucket” along with us or learn to use them to “water other opportunities” in our lives; is in our hands. The choice is always one’s own.

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

“Unless you learn to face your own shadows, you will continue to see them in others, because the world outside you is only a reflection of the world inside you.” Unknown

More than words or emotions, it’s the vibes around us that stay on. We need “happiness” to live life with serenity. The “vibes” we create, tempered with kind thoughts, honest words and sincere actions, goes a long way in giving the “good feel” within us. The latter is what goes around and helps us in the quest of finding as well as living with happiness.

“The journey into self-love and self-acceptance must begin with self-examination… until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.” Iyanla Vanzant

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes

Of Skies, Clouds and Serenity

Posted on June 9, 2019June 6, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“It is the individual who knows how little they know about themselves who stands the most reasonable chance of finding out something about themselves before they die.” S. I. Hayakawa

The perils of being an adult with a large family, primarily involves lack of alone time for oneself. Either a homemaker or an employer or employee, the hours and days are swallowed up by work, commute, schedules or basic activities for the daily sustenance. As the weekend approaches, eagerness slowly occupies the mind for the possibility of some self time. On Sunday mornings, post church and Sunday luncheon, there’s nothing more blissful than packing up the household, with kids, pets and essentials for a quick trip to the fields, park or even the far reaches of the gardens and lying under the shade of the trees with the noon sun throwing it’s rays. For parents, the lazing around brings around some much needed quiet and downtime with nature and her elements calming the chaos within. For children it’s freedom to explore what nature has hidden.

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” Henry David Thoreau

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Finding oneself and refreshing the spirits may be difficult but not impossible as one long as one makes time and takes advantage of the options at hand. Nature has the best cure and healing approach for the chaos that man often lands into. While a trip to the distant lands for a long break may be somewhere on the bucket list and not feasible for the present, taking time off within the presence of nature of today may be a viable option. The days of summer, vast fields and green lawns often brings to mind the beauty of daffodils. While carpets of yellow daffodils may be absent in the tropics, the greenness of nature calms the soul and brings rest to weary minds and souls. After all, nature is God’s way of telling us to rest and let Him shoulder the burdens of the day.

Source:https://fineartamerica.com/featured/daffodils-poem-by-william-wordsworth-olga-hamilton.html?product=greeting-card

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

“When we were in the woods beyond Gowbarrow park we saw a few daffodils close to the water side, we fancied that the lake had floated the seed ashore and that the little colony had so sprung up – But as we went along there were more and yet more and at last under the boughs of the trees, we saw that there was a long belt of them along the shore, about the breadth of a country turnpike road. I never saw daffodils so beautiful they grew among the mossy stones about and about them, some rested their heads upon these stones as on a pillow for weariness and the rest tossed and reeled and danced and seemed as if they verily laughed with the wind that blew upon them over the Lake, they looked so gay ever glancing ever changing. This wind blew directly over the lake to them. There was here and there a little knot and a few stragglers a few yards higher up but they were so few as not to disturb the simplicity and unity and life of that one busy highway – We rested again and again. The Bays were stormy and we heard the waves at different distances and in the middle of the water like the Sea.”
—Dorothy Wordsworth, The Grasmere Journal Thursday, 15 April
(Wordsworth ed. Woof (2002) p. 85)

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Christian, Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Stories Around the World

Of the White Handkerchief

Posted on June 7, 2019June 6, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

” We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

Many of us, during our school or college days, may have those “friends” who were a part of needless teasing and mocking group who had often made days miserable, troublesome and quite depressing, in those times. Fast forward years later, when emails and contact with them were kept to a bare minimum or ignored to prevent emotional setbacks, thinking of those days. Suddenly out of the blue, a phone call or an appointment with the very same people who were directly or indirectly involved then. Will it be within each one of us to forgive them or not ? The old adage, “let bygones be bygone” may sound simple; but when faced with reality, it will never be easy.

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Source:https://vk.com/we_live_a

“13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)

As life and time teaches us again and again; there would be nothing good in fostering the hatred, regrets or dark memories. While those may have happened, it’s how we move on ahead that matters.

” 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” ( Ephesians 4:31-32)

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

On abetting the bad memories, we often lose out on enjoying and gaining our own happiness in life. When one part of us says, “forgive and move on” and the other holds us back with “the memories”; learn to chose the right one.

” 3 So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” ( Luke 17:3-4)

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

All of us have been bad in someone’s books; which we may or mayn’t know about. When given a chance or opportunity to “do good”, do so without letting the memories of “what has happened with them” keep us from doing the right thing. We all need forgiveness from somebody at some point of our life, be it at the resent, in the past or the future. As life and the scriptures teach us, unless we learn to hold the olive branch; no one will lend us one or share the one in our hand. Above all what goes around, comes back to us; so despite all the setbacks and disappointments or dark memories of people, be kind, forgive and do good; if not for their happiness but for our happiness as well as one’s own peace of mind.

“25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:25)

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

White Handkerchief

Freed from imprisonment, he returned home by train. The railway ran through their native places, and approaching its station, it would certainly pass by its native home. But the closer the house came, the more restless it became in his heart. It was hard for him to realize; how much grief he brought to his parents.
Despite the fact that the separation lasted for many years, he loved his parents and dreamed of meeting with them. The fact that he often neglected the love of his parents was even more his than the crime he committed.
He was not at all sure whether they would accept him at home or not. Therefore, he wrote home a letter in advance asking; hang a white handkerchief in the yard if parents are ready to take it. If the scarf will not …
However, the closer the house came, the stronger the heart beats. The house is still far away, but he does not take his eyes off, looks intently into the distance, to the place where people endlessly close to him live.
They are waiting for me at home, or I, the outcast, have to roam the world; for many days these thoughts have not given him peace.
As slowly as this train goes, it seems that it deliberately intensifies its suffering with its slow speed.
And in the distance they appeared at home. Soon will be his home. There is a white handkerchief in the courtyard of the house or not …
And suddenly … tears gushed from his eyes. He saw his home and yard, which was covered with large white sheets … ( Translated from Russian)

This above story may have been shared with similar versions across the world, either by word of mouth or in some forgotten book or been told an acquaintance or friends as “real stories” to those known by them. Maybe this story is one of those that emerge every few years, told new in one form or another. Even though the setting and the people may shift; the message endures. The feeling that it did happen, somewhere and at sometime helps one to believe int he spirit of forgiveness as well as the kindness, love and humaneness of man and society.

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” Bernard Meltzer

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Family and Society, Life, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

Finding the “Shade”

Posted on June 3, 2019May 29, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” Abraham Lincoln

With summer break nearing to an end and summer camps coming to a close, the excited chatter and the melee around were a welcome sight last weekend. Like every year, contests were held and best prizes were announced. Interestingly during the course of events, especially at the award ceremony, the expressions on the faces of many adults, parents or guardians and the like had caught the eye. While kids were happy that they had or hadn’t secured a prize, the momentary disappointment as well loss of happiness on the adults’ faces was a cause for surprise. At the end of the day, the tussle of thoughts were whether prizes do really matter or is the joy of the vent more fun.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” Mahatma Gandhi

Source:https://vk.com/pepheads

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

The catch to happiness always depends on how one defines it. One can be happy or sad for the same reason. One can find joy for the moments or consistently ponder over the uncertainty of the next and lose sight of the present. Like there are many shades to a single colour, there are innumerable ways on how to react to a particular situation as well as choose the face of our happiness. Eventually everything boils down to our understanding of happiness in life and what it comprises of.

“Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” Guillaume Apollinaire

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

When we react to any event, they are two main faces that can happen. Either we chose to be happy or change the mood such that the events don’t shadow the inner happiness or peace. On the other hand, we can let the sequence of events affect one’s actions, words and thoughts dimming or darkening the mood for the day. What we fail to realize that all the wile, people around us, near or far are affected by one’s own after-effects. The change of moods can start off a chain reaction of words or actions, which in some cases, once said may not be easily taken back. When those affected around us are children, what those young minds grasp and learn from the adult behaviour goes a long way to influence and shape theirs. The next time one cribs about losing one’s happiness; look around and ponder within whether we are solely responsible for it or not. For the actions belong to others, but power of thoughts, remedial thinking and words are in our own court.

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” Helen Keller

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

What Is Happiness?

So, what is that happiness, people?
Ones answer, “It is to be mingled
With cards, alcohol and flirtations –
And all kinds of tempting sensations.

The others have beatitude’s vision
In money and higher position:
In flattering ‘kindly’ permitted,
And awe of the workers submitted.

The thirds think that it is in actions
Reflecting the perfect relations:
Sweet kindness, good care, attention
And general hearts’ comprehension.

The fourths think that it’s just advises
To meet with your dear sunrises,
To tell her your love and your favor
And go together forever.

And sometimes the meaning is longing
That it is the permanent burning:
The job, dreams and searching enlivened,
The pair of the wings for the heaven!

I think that in all enterprises,
Has happiness different sizes:
From peaks to a lowest mound,
Depending from people around.

-Eduard Asadov, Translated by Yevgeny Bonver, March, 2001

“True happiness arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one’s self.” Joseph Addison

Source:https://vk.com/monahos