Tag: opinion

Posted in Family and Society, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Rein in the Fist

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Though the holiday mode has started, with travel to tourist places restricted; it is the woods and the farm fields that have occupied most of the spare childhood hours, thus making the work at home option feasible for a few days. Which is why while making my entries in the excel spreadsheet, a sudden clatter of metal and cries of pain forced to make a rush to the pantry where I caught the young one with his hand stuck in the jar of crisps and in the mute howling phase. Like the monkey who trapped his hand in the jar, a couple of minutes he lit off before I could settle the scene and deal with the fiasco.

Reliving those moments over the pre-lunch tea session, the morning incident reminded me of the monkey’s hand which had caught in the jar for the fistful of cookies were too big to come out through the mouth of the jar. Just like the monkey, we adults too grab whatever our fists can hold, resulting in biting more than one can chew and staying stuck in the big jar of “life” getting stuck knee-deep when retreat would have been feasible.

“So the unwanting soul sees what’s hidden,
and the ever-wanting soul sees only what it wants.”
Lao Tzu

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Growing up, the stress was often laid on being successful, making something profitable out of life and the ventures that we do. As we mature, one experiences the profits and gains and basks in their glory. Eventually one may lose sight of the more important things in life, realizing that their hold on those things have been lost. Once when one realizes that the really important things in life have been lost, then those material profits and gain become completely worthless.

“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.” Socrates

Defining when to rein in the profits and close down the run for amassing more, or just to continue on, rests on what one considers important close to their heart. Greed is one of those things that can infiltrate any stage of success silently, grow therein and create complete unrest in a subtle manner, such that one realizes that the profits gained were meaningless in context of the damage wrought.

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One should make most out of any venture, trying for it to be a success on all fronts. Yet the highlight is to rein the urge to confine all the glory to one, amass more or just hoard the rewards. By letting go a bit of that fist, one can enjoy a bit of the reward then instead of losing out to a worse predicament later on. Also one could grab less or just a handful and share it out, so that rewards enjoyed around would life a lot more fun, happy and joyful; just enough to fit into each of our fists.

The Greedy Mouse
A greedy mouse saw a basket full of corn. He wanted to eat all of the corn so he made a small hole in the basket. He squeezed in through the hole. He ate a lot of corn until he was full and was very happy. Now he wanted to come out. He tried to come out through the small hole. He could not. His belly was full. He tried again. But it was of no use. The mouse started crying. A rabbit was passing by. It heard the mouse’s cry and asked, “Why are you crying, my friend?” The mouse explained, “I made a small hole and came into the basket to eat the corn. Now I am not able to get out through that hole.”

The rabbit said, “It is because you ate too much. Wait till your belly shrinks.” The rabbit laughed and went away. The mouse fell asleep in the basket. The next morning his belly had shrunk. But he wanted to eat some more corn. He forgot all about getting out of the basket. So he ate the corn and his belly was really big again.After eating, the mouse remembered that he had to escape. But obviously, he could not. So he thought, “Oh! Now I will go out tomorrow.” The cat was the next passerby. He smelt the mouse in the basket. He lifted its lid and ate the mouse.

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Posted in Family and Society, Personal Musings, Reflections

Abstract to Doing

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Abstruse”. From Latin abstrūsus, which literally means “concealed.”
Means difficult to understand.

With the entire nation going into shutdown for almost a month, office hours translates to completing the current projects by the deadline, working from the temporary home office from the family homestead was the only available option. With my better half stuck in the hospital campus, keeping the children busy and entertained falls on the shoulders of yours truly with occasional help from my in-laws. While the initial few days saw unwarranted help and support from the “screen” as popular animation movies and cartoons; “boring” soon came into the regular conversation. Which is why the green board in the family room is sporting the word “abstruse” for the moment.

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Ameliorate. Means “to improve something”. Began as an 18th-century alteration of “meliorate,” the latter likely influenced by the French word améliorer (“to improve”).

With the spare time on hand as the daily commute is no longer there, the children have begun their “read and enact” lessons. To be honest, the initial days were more of a reading session while as of now, it is costume session where superman helps to eliminate the super-bugs in the vegetable garden. To keep their interest piqued, the green board sports a new word or a phrase on a daily basis.

Between the drama sessions, tree house encampment, ball games and home art; there is plenty of things to do to keep the young ones busy for now. As for the hours saved by the lack of commute, the benefits are seen in no longer being a part of the ranks of “tsundoku”, the set of recipes being experimented on, impromptu artwork gracing the shed-converted-to-studio and the sudden fits of castaways.

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As each of us go into “lock-down” situation in our respective places, there have been many alterations to the social calendar. While some which have been done away with won’t be missed, certain events which have been looked forward for have been lost out. The sudden uprooting of the daily routine, unprecedented job cuts or being laid off, salary deductions, loss of income, basic amenities and the like, all create an immense amount of mental pressure and stress.

Through all this, what may be salvaged should be given complete effort whereas, those wherein the situations can’t be changed, one has to review their options and make the changes as necessary. To rewind back and change the course of time is a feat which science and technology haven’t achieved yet. Instead what one can do, is to deal with the present scenario, appraise the resources at hand and move ahead. Life always has its’ own sudden curves. The way we handle those sharp turns changes the journey as time moves on .

Tsundoku (Japanese: 積ん読). One who acquires reading materials but lets them pile up in one’s home without reading them. Also referred to books ready for reading later when they are on a bookshelf.

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Photography Art, Random Thoughts, Stories Around the World

Correct the Curve

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

With the option of working from home for a couple of days a week going into effect this month, somehow we had ended up being in-charge for my niece and nephews along with our own. The reason being that the social isolation, especially from parks and grounds, would be best observed here with us. Thus with their school break starting here, home now equates to managing a playground while working in shifts. So when cries of “he took my car” versus “the girls broke into our tree-house” , it’s like holding the court at home.

Along the way, while trying to be fair, one realizes that one doesn’t need to take sides to meet out their version of justice. For while they may be in the wrong, it mayn’t be a truly wrong thing at work. For it’s all about relative thoughts.

“Nothing in the world is ever completely wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.” Paulo Coelho

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Putting the concept of “righting the wrong“, sometimes focusing only on the person who did it doesn’t serve the purpose. All of us make mistakes. While at times, it may be a willful default that needs a severe addressal; other times it may be just a wrong turn of events or the never ending situation of trying to do good but falling out along the way. For instance, the pair of children who broke the window pane during their ball game, need to know what went wrong. But meeting out harrowing punishment, verbal or emotional doesn’t help to teach them. Instead dealing with the situation without trying to pull down the morale of anyone, but not wearing those blinders help to bring out the right thoughts of behaviour, consequence and actions in those young minds.

“The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.” Maya Angelou

Being just, is not about me being right and the other being wrong. It involves being able to listen to others’ with respect along with their versions, claims and opinions; keeping the facts in check and seeking for the evidence. To right the wrong, corrective measures doesn’t require one to always highlight the wrong doer; though they should be able to comprehend their mistake. For education with wisdom and insight is meaningless. For society to move ahead, it’s not just literacy, progress and strong work ethics that matter, but also a civic sense and the insight to strength and teach the future in a manner worth emulation and imparting the right morale, ethics as well as the code of social and personal conduct.

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A young man saw his primary school teacher on a wedding. He went to greet him with all the respect and admiration. He said to him: “Do you remember me, Teacher?”
The teacher said: “No, please introduce yourself.”
The student said: “I was your student in the 3rd Grade, I am the one who stole the watch of a child in the classroom. I will remind you but I am sure you remember the story.”

One of the boys in my class had a beautiful watch, so I decided to steal it. He came to you crying that someone had stolen his watch. You asked us to stand so as to search our pockets. I realized that my action would be exposed in front of the Students and Teachers. I will be called a thief, a liar and my character will be shattered forever.
You asked us to stand and face the wall and close our eyes completely. You went searching from pocket to pocket, and when you reached my pocket you pulled the watch out of my pocket, and you continued until you searched the last student. After you finished you asked us to open our eyes and to sit on our chairs. I was afraid you will expose me in front of the students. You showed the watch to the class, and gave it back to the boy, and you never mentioned the name of the one who stole the watch.
You never said a word to me, and you never mentioned the story to anyone. Throughout my school life, none of the teachers nor the students talked about me stealing the watch. I thought to myself you saved my dignity that day.

The teacher said: “I can’t remember who stole the watch that day, because I searched the pockets of all of you while my eyes were also closed.”

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, poetry

Calm of the Earth

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Patience, grasshopper,” said Maia. “Good things come to those who wait.”
“I always thought that was ‘Good things come to those who do the wave,'” said Simon. “No wonder I’ve been so confused all my life.”
Cassandra Clare

There is nothing more calming than watching colours burst through the earth, children kicking ball in the backyard and the barks of rambunctious pets joining in the midst. To note this event happening in own backyard is a thought pleasing to the mind and soul. Gardens have always been a part of my childhood. From the photographs of the toothless days in the lawn to the high school practice and science projects in the backyard, the backdrop for all the best friends meet and above all, the place to regain the spirit when one feels that things are in a downhill. Of all those memories, it is the latter that are most heartening. Little wonder why then, wanting my own splay of colours and green foliage was an immediate after settling in our new quarters.

“The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.” Paulo Coelho

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Growing a garden from scratch is a test of patience, fortitude and hope. Juggling between settling in my new job, house and managing the chores along with starting off a brand new garden from few flowerpots along the gate involved quite a bit of work. As my target was primarily a flower garden, the lawn had to be squared off, followed by purchase of a few flowerpots and a couple of half-grown plants to get them to bloom for the summer. Then was to get the right packet of seeds, right compost mix and yes, to make sure the birds or insects didn’t get the seeds first. It took time. The bare network of the garden I had envisioned wasn’t ready until the next summer.

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” Aristotle

With spring in the air, watching the new shoots coming up through the ground, it gives an immense sense of satisfaction and hope that this summer would see another riot of colours, better than the year before. Like the garden, our lives too have plenty of shoots often read as hidden opportunities and the risks to be taken.

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Whether the latter were right or wrong, only time and hindsight would tell us. But to bear fruit, the benefits don’t come in a sequence. Like the seeds breaking into flowers, each chance of life may bear it’s beauty much later. The secret is to be prepared, of patient bearing, eagerness to labour and the realistic hope that things will get better eventually. As the garden teaches us, for every leaf that falls; new life is getting readied for the next season.

The Seed-Shop
Muriel Stuart

HERE in a quiet and dusty room they lie,
Faded as crumbled stone and shifting sand,
Forlorn as ashes, shrivelled, scentless, dry –
Meadows and gardens running through my hand.

Dead that shall quicken at the voice of spring,
Sleepers to wake beneath June’s tempest kiss;
Though birds pass over, unremembering,
And no bee find here roses that were his.

In this brown husk a dale of hawthorn dreams;
A cedar in this narrow cell is thrust
That shall drink deeply at a century’s streams;
These lilies shall make summer on my dust.

Here in their safe and simple house of death,
Sealed in their shells, a million roses leap;
Here I can stir a garden with my breath,
And in my hand a forest lies asleep.

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Photography Art, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Being Civilized

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” Helen Keller

The last couple of weeks or even months saw subtle to drastic changes in the world around. From being quarantined to social distancing, restricted movements, early school holidays and “work from home” days or few spending more “at-home” time. Throughout all these weeks, numerous thoughts, worries and emotions have been flitting through the mind. The worries of being affected or quarantined to the economic implications of the changes brought about and the trouble in keeping the domestic front active as well as purchase of essentials. All in all, these weeks required plenty of common sense, restraint, social consideration and etiquette.

“It is the long history of humankind (and animal kind, too) that those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed.” Charles Darwin

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Though the initial impact based studies showed it was the outlying ages who were primarily at risk, as documented by epidemiological and disease experts; later it was the chain of transmission that was under focus for it caused more harm. Technical details and contact tracing were done. Then the most difficult part was convincing the need to restrict and make an effort to break the chain. One of the lessons learned from the society where the epidemiological disease curve had flattened out, was the collective effort of those who were part of the chain.

When each and every member of the social strata, be it the young or the old, the healthy or those with underlying diseases came together to support each other; the curve began to flatten out. Each one knew the role they played and strove to protect the other. It was the humane concern that underlined their activity over the next few weeks.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Martin Luther King Jr

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Being civilized is defined not by how many degrees one has or the per-capita income alone. the civilized society is defined how each member of the herd contributes to keeping the network strong, safe and protected for all. When one vested group sticks tot heir interests of their own, it harms the social fabric. While the harm may seem to be to one side; on the long run the harm caused may directly or indirectly affect all the social levels. The worth of the civilization lies in how all the members face any crisis on their respective fronts. For that is what makes the human different, from not being blinded by their inherent and primal instinct; but to bring together and forward their social structure as a whole.

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“Years ago, anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture. The student expected Mead to talk about fishhooks or clay pots or grinding stones.

But no. Mead said that the first sign of civilization in an ancient culture was a femur (thighbone) that had been broken and then healed. Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal.
A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts, Mead said.”

We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.”

Ira Byock, in his book The Best Care Possible: A Physician’s Quest to Transform Care Through the End of Life (Avery, 2012)

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Posted in Life, Personal Musings, Photography Art, poetry, Random Thoughts

Solace of “Doing Nothing”

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

As a part of the management policy, employees are required to take at least twenty percent of their entire leaves (both annual and casual) each year. Which is why, three of my colleagues had to take their leaves, though they weren’t requiring any break from the regular. While one of them had enjoyed a short break with family at a getaway; with school for their kids, two of them were kind of stuck in their towns. Yet after their allotted leaves, on return, there was a positive spark in their eyes. To the often phrased query of “what did you do during your leave”, their response was thought-provoking, especially when the words were “we did nothing”.

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For some of us, the very act of doing nothing, may relate to sheer idleness. And as the famous adage goes, “An idle mind is a devil’s workshop.” Yet the day off, meaning a day of doing nothing, is primarily meant to be away from all the problem solving, completion of tasks or a break from the social life or business of the day. While there is comfort in the daily routine, every now and then each of us need time off, to just “not think”.

“Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence. Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.” Maya Angelou

None of us, are indispensable, specially as far as social and career life is considered. Amidst all this chaos, taking a breather is necessary for maintaining he inner balance. Sometimes, one doesn’t need to do or think, but just go with the flow and experience the calming effects of the life around us. The best holidays would be one where one learns to just appreciate the wind dance with the leaves, dance on the water, smell the dew as well as enjoy the breeze in the hammock. These quiet moments of doing nothing, help us face the turbulence that time may take us through later.

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Today I Am Doing Nothing

It’s a plan in itself,
Not an open invitation for suggestions
To go on long walks, or dancing,
Or paint-balling, or take a drive
Down to the beach.

It doesn’t mean I am free
To do one of the hundreds of tasks
You decide are more important,
In an attempt to fill my day
With a different kind of meaning.

Today I am doing nothing,
Because I have become lost,
In a world where doing something, anything
Is so expected of ourselves and each other
That simply doing nothing is viewed
As a waste of time.

We so rarely have opportunity
To have the conversations in our heads
That determine who we really are,
As we watch the moments floating past,
Lying under the stars.

Today I am doing nothing,
Please understand that what I desire,
Is silent doorbells, unknocked doors
And that the phone doesn’t ring
As I curl up by the fire.

– Nigel Finn

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Posted in Christian, Life, Random Thoughts

Stuck in the Fit

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Sometimes it just gets a little too much.” This thought had been going on and on, like a movie reel in my mind whole day long; popping up at the most unexpected moments. While the first was when I was running low on time due to unexpected cranky behaviour of the coffeemaker, the toaster and the list just goes on; the next was when the traffic was being held up real longer than the usual, the third was when I couldn’t find the hard copy of my project proposal soon enough and then on, I just lost the order of that thought.

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Towards the end of the day, as I made my usual trip to the local grocery to stock on the much needed household items; it was a definite crowd, more seen than the regular weekday numbers. That is when I heard the tantrum cries of the three year old, “Ice-cream!! Ice-cream!! I want it now!!” With no distraction working out, his mother found it a little difficult to get him to quieten down. The tantrum frenzy had him in a full storm. Then an elderly lady approached them and patted her hand. “Don’t worry. It’s just a big fit which is having your little kid. He’s so small so he can’t stop it yet. He needs your patience to help him and stay close to him. He’ll get past it if you’re with him.” Standing nearby I couldn’t help but overhear those words.

“He caused the storm to be still, So that the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad because they were quiet, So He guided them to their desired haven.” (Psalm 107:29-30)

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Reflecting on that unbidden thought that often entered my mind today, it felt like I was having one big “adult” fit. For while the trying circumstances of the day were never ending, it wasn’t as bad compared to the chaos of the some of the “worse” days. While things may haven’t clockwork as planned, nothing really went gross bad or horrible. Being human, sometimes things may get a little too tough. Or at times that even temperament can be sorely unbalanced by a single act, word, behaviour or thoughts. In all these moments, call to mind His Peace, His Strength and His Grace to hold us and keep calm.

The fragility of the human mind is echoed throughout the Bible with our Heavenly Father showing us enough and more of His Grace, His Kindness and His Love despite all the havoc, wrong doings and sins man has done. In those moments of “big fits” what we all need is patience, a helping hand and His Grace. And then it won’t be that we have the fits but the fits have us and will be dealt with soon. For by His Love and His Grace, these “fits” too shall pass.

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

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