Posted in Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Hold on to “the Cloak”

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” Ernest Hemingway

While putting together the events and details for the Christmas program at the work place, finesse and tact was required while bringing out the various talents (obvious or hidden) present in colleagues, seniors and juniors alike. As each one had volunteered their various acts, from solo vocals or music to the Christmas choir, play and message; the underlying talents were brought to light. While some were good, few were exquisite as the rehearsal audience was charmed by the music, song and talk. Surprisingly, the best of the talented were the ones who didn’t wax eloquent but showed their creative side with poise, charm and humility.

“…talent means nothing, while experience, acquired in humility and with hard work, means everything.” Patrick Süskind

Deeply introspecting the social life of today, one is often listing own achievements either as an open declaration, bragging or defending their glory; instead of growing and perfecting these talents. When social performance and creativity costs humaneness, kindness and humility, it is time to retrospect and learn from the centuries of time where greatness actually lies. As Rick Warren had said, “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” Each one is blessed in their own way, holding their own repertoire of skills, creativity and art. While one is not better than the other; being really good at something doesn’t require one to wear a placard on them declaring the same. Along with own skill and work; the character within speaks the loudest. As the short anecdote experienced by one of the actors of Indian cinema had narrated, the way we behave speaks a lot louder than what one says. True humility is when we acknowledge that there is always something new to learn and perfecting oneself, regardless of the achievements of the present.

“I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men.” Lao Tzu

Amitabh Bacchan says…”At the peak of my career, I was once travelling by plane. The passenger next to me was elderly gentleman dressed in a simple shirt and pants. He appeared to be middle class, and well educated. Other passengers perhaps recognising who I was, but this gentleman appeared to be unconcerned of my presence… He was reading his paper, looking out of the window, and when tea was served, he sipped it quietly. Trying to strike a conversation with him I smiled. The man courteously smiled back and said ‘Hello’. We got talking and I brought up the subject of cinema and movies and asked, ‘Do you watch films?’ The man replied, ‘Oh, very few. I did see one many years ago.’ I mentioned that I worked in the movie industry. The man replied..” oh, that’s nice. What do you do?’ I replied, ‘I am an actor ‘ The man nodded, ‘Oh, that’s wonderful!’ And that was it… When we landed, I held out my hand and said, ” It was good to travel with you. By the way, my name is Amitabh Bacchan !’ The man shook my hand and smiled, “Thank you… nice to have met you..I am J. R. D. Tata!”I learned on.that day that no matter how big you think you are, there is always someone *bigger*. Be humble, it costs nothing.
(Source: The Internet and Social Networks. While some articles say, it was the actor Amitabh Bacchan, others say it was the famous actor Dilip Kumar. Regardless of the actor, it was behaviour of the Great Indian personality J.R.D. Tata which teaches one about humility.)

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Random Thoughts

Of Roses and Thorns

An unexpected meeting with a friend of the previous workplace at the hospital, had lead to a short chat over a cup of tea. While enlisting the difficulties she had encountered on the home front and professional front, she had a lot to brood over and take over a negative vibe. Surprisingly her attitude and outlook was more of hopeful, than what would mine have been, if I were in her shoes. Facing life daily with a husband who has been bedridden (victim of a drunk driving accident), diagnosed with SLE, holding temporary jobs with children still in school are just few of the problems that were tackled. While holding the fort with an optimistic outlook outlook is difficult, the fact that she and many more like do it, is what gives a new meaning to positive approach in life.

“People who are too optimistic seem annoying. This is an unfortunate misinterpretation of what an optimist really is.

An optimist is neither naive, nor blind to the facts, nor in denial of grim reality. An optimist believes in the optimal usage of all options available, no matter how limited. As such, an optimist always sees the big picture. How else to keep track of all that’s out there? An optimist is simply a proactive realist.

An idealist focuses only on the best aspects of all things (sometimes in detriment to reality); an optimist strives to find an effective solution. A pessimist sees limited or no choices in dark times; an optimist makes choices.

When bobbing for apples, an idealist endlessly reaches for the best apple, a pessimist settles for the first one within reach, while an optimist drains the barrel, fishes out all the apples and makes pie.
Annoying? Yes. But, oh-so tasty!”
-Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

Making sense of optimism is never easy from another point of view. One of the aspects of keeping an optimistic outlook to life is to find an approach which encompasses an effective way out of the problems. For those who can do it in a subtle manner, while at the same time not fail to appreciate the gifts of life and its beauty are the true teachers of “optimism”. As taught and drilled into the mind, from a very young age, life isn’t a bed of roses. But what one must remember at all accounts is that, for every thorn along the way, the final destination holds a rose. While there mayn’t be a bed of roses for everyone, nothing stops one from rising above the thorns, appreciating the beauty and fragrance of the roses; for such is life.

Posted in Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Random Thoughts, Stories Around the World

Weave of the Ribbon

“It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” Abe Lincoln

Unexpected news or shockers from what was previously imagined as real can give a jolt to the person when understanding hits the surface. Yet when it does happens, how one reacts or rather how all of us react, makes the biggest difference.

35 years male. Single. Known case of thalassemia major. On blood transfusions since age of six years. Recurrent infections. HIV ELISA positive.

40 years female. Recurrent infections since the past year. Atypical pneumonia. Disease profiles variable. HIV ELISA positive.

7 year old male.  Recurrent oral candidiasis. Recent diagnosed pulmonary tuberculosis. HIV ELISA and PCR positive.

These above cases are not even close to the tip of the iceberg of the damage caused by what was originally believed to be the mutated form of the wild virus in non-human primates. Rising to global pandemic proportions, the origins are traced to as early as 1910 wherein probably the wild virus underwent mutations to the present form by series of changes ranging from suppression of the innate and internal immune response, high-risk transmission channels as well as social and environmental changes leading to the rapid spread of the mutated virus form. Though the earliest well-documented case of HIV in a human was done in 1959, the clinical cluster of cases (1981) in the United States with rare types of pneumonia (symptoms of Pneumocystis carinii pneumonia (PCP)) and rise of previously rare skin cancer called Kaposi’s sarcoma (KS) prompted the CDC to develop a task force to control the outbreak. With these opportunistic infections being more prevalent in the hemophiliacs, drug users, certain endemic areas and social or sexual preferences; the task force stepped up the ante and the term AIDS was coined and brought to the forefront of the mass public.

From Ryan White to Greg Louganis or Magic Johnson and many numerous people, each of them had fought their battle with the disease of HIV/AIDS. Whether it was by their circumstances or series of unfortunate events, the questions and chaotic thoughts every person or loved one goes through on hearing the positive confirmation is the plenty of “why me’s” and the uncertainty of the future, disease progress and implications on the personal, professional as well as mental front. None of us realize the reality behind the scene, unless we step into the other’s shoes and walk a couple of miles. Only then the false pictures get morphed with those little details that help one to realize the truth was far from what was initially perceived.

“You cannot hope to build a better world without improving the individuals. To that end,each of us must work for our own improvement and, at the same time, share a general responsibility for all humanity, our particular duty being to aid those to whom we think can be most useful.” Marie Curie

As the global battle continues on multiple fronts, from raising awareness to finding solutions and reparative measures for the ongoing myriad of symptoms and disease complex, society in general as to sit up and take note. Ignorance may be bliss for now, but it always comes at a heavy price. Neither does guilt, accusations or pointing fingers help any. But awareness doesn’t hurt anyone. Instead it helps to build for a better tomorrow. The resilience of mankind lies in the ability to pick the battle and choose wise. Linking the goals for the common future would help for the days of tomorrow.

“A man only begins to be a man when he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the hidden justice which regulates his life. And he adapts his mind to that regulating factor, he ceases to accuse others as the cause of his condition, and builds himself up in strong and noble thoughts; ceases to kick against circumstances, but begins to use them as aids to his more rapid progress, and as a means of the hidden powers and possibilities within himself.” James Allen (As a Man Thinketh)

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Posted in Family and Society, Personal Musings, poetry, Random Thoughts

A bit of the Pebble or Clod ?!

“Your reality is as you perceive it to be. So, it is true, that by altering this perception we can alter our reality.” William Constantine

When one of my friends had received a promotion, the catch was the transfer attached to it. During the last meet, which was both a farewell and treat; we had asked her about the family. For her, family of four, relocating the kids to a new school would be difficult and transfer for her husband wasn’t an option. The new place being four hour drive, regular travel wasn’t an option. On asked, how would she manage; pat came the reply, it’s just for a couple of months and then things will fall into place. It was refreshing to feel the optimistic and practical approach.

“The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.” Al Neuharth

A lot many time, one often encounters many situation not to personal liking or choice. While at times, one does feel a bit trod on and over whelmed, sticking on and staying true is a matter of principle, perspective and perception. Situations do change like the wind, but it’s how one masters them with the right perspective that makes the approach different. To whine and grumble; or buckle up and forge a new way ahead, is all in the mind, beliefs and actions. The wind blows either for or against, depending on the position we stand in. When the wind becomes a tempest; learning to bend and flow helps one to find their feet in the aftermath.

“We must look at the lens through which we see the world, as well as the world we see, and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world.” Stephen R. Covey

The Clod and the Pebble
By William Blake
“Love seeketh not itself to please,
Nor for itself hath any care,
But for another gives its ease,
And builds a Heaven in Hell’s despair.”

So sung a little Clod of Clay
Trodden with the cattle’s feet,
But a Pebble of the brook
Warbled out these metres meet:

“Love seeketh only self to please,
To bind another to its delight,
Joys in another’s loss of ease,
And builds a Hell in Heaven’s despite.”

“I am still determined to be cheerful and to be happy in whatever situation. I may be, for I have also learnt from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions and not upon our circumstances.” Martha Washington

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Reflections

More than Imprints

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

These days, while driving for an out of the town workshop ( with attendance made compulsory from the head boss); the hassles faced in mapping out the course or drive isn’t as big as compared to any similar happening, lets say, around twenty years ago. With Google giving the directions, vehicles equipped with navigation, phones that function as maps and better roads; on the whole venturing into a new territory isn’t met with fear of getting lost anymore.

Rewinding back to those years, one relied on the passerby who were generous with their navigation advice and sense of direction. Many a time, getting on the wrong road resulted in one stepping out at the local roadside shop, asking for specific directions, enjoying a good cup of coffee and then heading back on the road with fresh directions and in better spirits. Those better spirits are in part, from the print left behind by those around us. Though these days, Google helps us to navigate; there are still imprints left behind.

“I am grateful for every precious moment life offers me. It allows me to see the miracle in each experience.” Emmanuel Dagher

From the numerous social interactions that we all experience, few stay on the mind stronger than before. May be it could be attached with pleasantness, a warm feeling and happiness or peace within; while other imprints may leave a bitter feel. Which ever way, we all leave our imprints in different ways. Just like the fellow passerby of yesteryear, when one chooses to leave behind heart-prints ( not just imprints) it makes life more beautiful. Over the years, as one realizes the more heart-prints one leaves behind, the treasure chest of memories, happiness and peace with contentment can be experienced in every waking hour.

“Every day in every way we are leaving our mark.” Rachael Bermingham

Heartprints
Author Unknown

Whatever our hands touch –
We leave fingerprints!
On walls, on furniture
On doorknobs, dishes, books.
There’s no escape.
As we touch we leave our identity.

Wherever I go today
Help me leave heartprints!
Heartprints of compassion
Of understanding and love.

Heartprints of kindness
And genuine concern.
May my heart touch a lonely neighbor
Or a runaway daughter
Or an anxious mother
Or perhaps an aged grandfather.

Send me out today
To leave heartprints.
And if someone should say,
“I felt your touch,”
May they also sense the love
that is deep within my heart.

Posted in Daily, Life, poetry, Quotes, Random Thoughts

Silent to Listen

“We went down into the silent garden. Dawn is the time when nothing breathes, the hour of silence. Everything is transfixed, only the light moves.” Leonora Carrington

With rising rays bringing forth the day, when the world around is absent of the daily noise from the street, appliances and speech; the music of nature can be heard. From the distant chirping of the birds to the quiet flutter of the leaves, fall of the coloured leaves and the fleeing swish of the patio curtains by the wandering breeze; all highlight how many things can be heard when the fruitless chatter ceases and one learns to listen.

“I tried to discover, in the rumor of forests and waves, words that other men could not hear, and I pricked up my ears to listen to the revelation of their harmony.” Gustave Flaubert

Reflecting back, there may be many instances when one may have lost out on not really listening. Missed notes during meetings or sessions, wrong information imparted, silent indicators to the tenuousness of relationships and worse, misinterpretations as a consequence of the impatience attached to listening and the constant hurry. On the other hand, there have been occasions wherein one keeps silent when the right words would have been necessary to set things right. The pans on the balance may swing on either side.

Yet many are on the chase, than learning to listen, learn from the silence and live the dream. As one ages, the realization that the constant run may cause one to miss out on what has been there along the road. By the time, one realizes that we do need to stop at the right rest points to rejuvenate; the path travelled may have gone too far away from the right course. While the old bones try to remap their course and regain the silence to refresh; the younger ones should learn to appreciate their silent sources at hand, which help one to grow, rejuvenate and learn from the yesteryear.

“Silence is a source of Great Strength.” Lao Tzu

Learn To Be Quiet
You need not do anything.
Remain sitting at your table and listen.
You need not even listen, just wait.
You need not even wait,
just learn to be quiet, still and solitary.
And the world will freely offer itself to you unmasked.
It has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.
– Franz Kafka

Posted in Family and Society, Life, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

Priceless Over Time

“The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is focused attention.” Richard Warren

The other day, few colleagues were discussing on the special gifts that were given to them on anniversaries, birthdays, special days and the like. While a lot of “how lovely”, “wonderful” and the like, were being said; a couple of us had raised eyebrows within. The reason being simply that one wasn’t gifted anything really exquisite for special occasions. On reflecting back, my spouse had bought me gifts unexpected, not because of a special day but because he saw that I had needed it. A booking at the spa, evening night out with my girlfriends, stepping in out of the way to drop and pick me up from the salon were not on any special days, but because he had wanted to help out. For us, special occasions are marked by a special meal, home cooked and quiet time with family. But then this perspective depends on how one sees it. As I always believe in, each one to their own. But harm not oneself or those around them. What is important is whether the “better halves” are around for support, help and love especially when the situation gets tough, either at the professional, home or on social front.

“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.” Helen Keller

The feeling of being regarded special and own in the eyes of the other is something that can’t be explained by words alone. The regard of a true friend who steps up and is there unasked. The mother who makes the special dish that her son likes but she herself hates. The father who delays his own personal expense in favour of his children or his parents. Teenagers who do their chores quietly, going about their things without a fuss and being responsible in the family. The next door neighbour who pops in with a homemade pie when they know that with a sick child, cooking for the rest isn’t an option. Grandparents who offer to baby sit so that the parents can have some quiet personal time. All these are different forms of love, that don’t come with a flash and bang. It is this kind of love, concern and kindness that one longs to happen.

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” Erich Segal

There are different facets of love, with each own being special in it’s form or kind. To live in harmony and have meaningful relationships with those around us, one needs to love and be loved; without any tag attached. This kind of love heals, helps one face the difficult times and overcome them. The downfall is that, this kind of love, tends to be taken for granted. One realizes it’s significance, when one loses it, sometimes by their hands or by no fault of theirs. Learning to appreciate these special kinds of love is what makes life beautiful and fills the treasure chest for the unexpected dark, stormy days.

“Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I’ve nothing else to offer, so, to you, it’s love I’ll send.
It’s nothing that I borrowed and it’s nothing that I’d lend.

It has no dollar value and it can’t be overused.
It isn’t fragile, so it can’t break, though often it’s abused.

I’ve given it to others, but each time it’s unique.
Its meaning’s always different; it depends on what you seek.

It’s something you can store away, to feel when you’re in need.
But never is it on display, its beauty can’t be seen.

I’m giving it ‘no strings attached,’ no costly warranty.
This love that I am sending has a lifetime guarantee.
Author Unknown