Tag: parenting

Posted in Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes

Priceless in Time

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Attending an official meeting as a replacement for my colleague lead me to board the local train for getting back to the office. For once, there wasn’t a hitch in the schedule. So here I was, waiting for the train and scanning through all the pending mails, messages and the like. With no one breathing down my neck and no crisis looming, there was time to reply back to messages, update with friends and to return that missed call from a distant cousin. All that happened in a matter of minutes. In the aftermath, it felt good; catching up to those around us, being in contact with the old group of friends and reminiscences of the good old days. All it may take could be five minutes.

“The best times we’ve had on earth are usually with those we love.” Van Harden

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When one views a fresh day, it may seem that one has plenty of time. As a big bunch of hours, it’s towards the middle of the day when they get rapidly deleted that then time becomes a small amount. From that set then, five minutes may seem a lot. But in those five minutes, much can be achieved; for five minutes isn’t huge.

Five minutes to talk to siblings. Five minutes to play with the dog, just to throw the ball. Five minutes to hug your better half and wish him or her a good day. Five minutes to play blocks with the toddler. Five minutes to catch up with a colleague who was recently transferred from your section to another. These little five minutes, though may be spent of doing more important things like work, domestic chores, cooking and the like are those very five minutes that help to make precious memories, which are hidden in the recesses of spent minutes but serve to be priceless in due course.

“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.” Harvey MacKay

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Though time may be precious and valuable; in itself it has no value. Cut off from the social and personal ties that keep us going, time may cause us to drag each day. Time needs to shared with all. For such time spent is more fruitful, than solely devoting it to one segment of our lives alone. At the end of our time, it is those cumulative five minutes of love and care that create treasured memories to help us face the trying times. True that one must hurry when one should, but to be too busy to note that one is being cut off from the best parts of life would be akin to cutting off own feet. To share time is an art that we all must indulge in, for all it takes is a simple matter of five minutes.

Time Is
by Henry van Dyke

Time is
Too Slow for those who Wait,
Too Swift for those who Fear,
Too Long for those who Grieve,
Too Short for those who Rejoice;
But for those who Love,
Time is not.

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Photography Art, Stories Around the World

The Flight to Catch

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“All our sweetest hours fly fastest.” Virgil

Every now and then, when school isn’t there between the turn of the academic sessions, we take a day off in the middle of the week. Nothing exclusive or exciting is planned. With the weather being nice, we just pack off a picnic lunch, couple of snack meals and then head off for a local park, hill top or just the beach. The purpose was always to just set the ball rolling and have some downtime with the kids. For the impromptu rainy days, it would be spent outdoor with paper boats, in the tree house or just a family camp-out in the fields.

We started this trend once we realized that each of us have our own tight morning schedules. With the kids being in school and we both, as parents having our own work environment, the family ground was just reduced to evening hours, domestic chores, dinner and Sundays. The effect was the feel of drifting away, even though evenings were there. Which is why, when things are light, we all pack off to make our own memories. For while our independent days are important with a mix of choice and necessity, these special days are occasions for us o bond better with each other, help us find our even footing in the paths of life and keep us connected for the later days in life.

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Reflecting back on own childhood days, the personal cache of recalls not relate to travels alone but also of the impromptu baking or art sessions in my mother’s studio, going for long treks, camp-outs and the days on the farm especially during summer. Those days never had any fancy restaurants, social media applications or instant transfer of media, commentary or comparisons. Those days were spent on the moments. As the wise of those days knew, that was the gift of life and time.

All of us have our own hectic schedules, whether as students, professionals, part-time employees, entrepreneurs, homemakers and the like. While some of may be able to prioritize between friends and family, sometimes the distribution of time is way off the ideal for our own personal balance. While one may try to shorten everything to what is necessary and important based on social requirements; know that time is of a fleeing essence. It may be there one minute, but gone the next. Realization of this little fact works wonders in helping us balance out and regroup the priorities in their required manner.

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Man only lives once, but creates memories and moments, meant for lifetime. When those of regret linger longer, it tends to wipe out the best parts of life, besides draining one internally. Looking back on those moments, when one tries to set their priorities right, the days become sweet, full of life, rich with laughter and treasured moments.

“Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters.” Margaret Peters

While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground. “That’s my son over there,” she said, pointing to a little boy in a red sweater who was gliding down the slide. “He’s a fine looking boy”, the man said. “That’s my daughter on the bike in the white dress.” Then, looking at his watch, he called to his daughter. “What do you say we go, Melissa?” Melissa pleaded, “Just five more minutes, Dad. Please? Just five more minutes.” The man nodded and Melissa continued to ride her bike to her heart’s content. Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his daughter. “Time to go now?” Again Melissa pleaded, “Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes.” The man smiled and said, “OK.” “My, you certainly are a patient father,” the woman responded.

The man smiled and then said, “Her older brother Tommy was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with Tommy and now I’d give anything for just five more minutes with him. I’ve vowed not to make the same mistake with Melissa. She thinks she has five more minutes to ride her bike. The truth is, I get five more minutes to watch her play.”
Source: Social Media (via The Internet)

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Posted in Family and Society, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Rein in the Fist

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Though the holiday mode has started, with travel to tourist places restricted; it is the woods and the farm fields that have occupied most of the spare childhood hours, thus making the work at home option feasible for a few days. Which is why while making my entries in the excel spreadsheet, a sudden clatter of metal and cries of pain forced to make a rush to the pantry where I caught the young one with his hand stuck in the jar of crisps and in the mute howling phase. Like the monkey who trapped his hand in the jar, a couple of minutes he lit off before I could settle the scene and deal with the fiasco.

Reliving those moments over the pre-lunch tea session, the morning incident reminded me of the monkey’s hand which had caught in the jar for the fistful of cookies were too big to come out through the mouth of the jar. Just like the monkey, we adults too grab whatever our fists can hold, resulting in biting more than one can chew and staying stuck in the big jar of “life” getting stuck knee-deep when retreat would have been feasible.

“So the unwanting soul sees what’s hidden,
and the ever-wanting soul sees only what it wants.”
Lao Tzu

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Growing up, the stress was often laid on being successful, making something profitable out of life and the ventures that we do. As we mature, one experiences the profits and gains and basks in their glory. Eventually one may lose sight of the more important things in life, realizing that their hold on those things have been lost. Once when one realizes that the really important things in life have been lost, then those material profits and gain become completely worthless.

“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.” Socrates

Defining when to rein in the profits and close down the run for amassing more, or just to continue on, rests on what one considers important close to their heart. Greed is one of those things that can infiltrate any stage of success silently, grow therein and create complete unrest in a subtle manner, such that one realizes that the profits gained were meaningless in context of the damage wrought.

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One should make most out of any venture, trying for it to be a success on all fronts. Yet the highlight is to rein the urge to confine all the glory to one, amass more or just hoard the rewards. By letting go a bit of that fist, one can enjoy a bit of the reward then instead of losing out to a worse predicament later on. Also one could grab less or just a handful and share it out, so that rewards enjoyed around would life a lot more fun, happy and joyful; just enough to fit into each of our fists.

The Greedy Mouse
A greedy mouse saw a basket full of corn. He wanted to eat all of the corn so he made a small hole in the basket. He squeezed in through the hole. He ate a lot of corn until he was full and was very happy. Now he wanted to come out. He tried to come out through the small hole. He could not. His belly was full. He tried again. But it was of no use. The mouse started crying. A rabbit was passing by. It heard the mouse’s cry and asked, “Why are you crying, my friend?” The mouse explained, “I made a small hole and came into the basket to eat the corn. Now I am not able to get out through that hole.”

The rabbit said, “It is because you ate too much. Wait till your belly shrinks.” The rabbit laughed and went away. The mouse fell asleep in the basket. The next morning his belly had shrunk. But he wanted to eat some more corn. He forgot all about getting out of the basket. So he ate the corn and his belly was really big again.After eating, the mouse remembered that he had to escape. But obviously, he could not. So he thought, “Oh! Now I will go out tomorrow.” The cat was the next passerby. He smelt the mouse in the basket. He lifted its lid and ate the mouse.

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Photography Art, Random Thoughts, Stories Around the World

Correct the Curve

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

With the option of working from home for a couple of days a week going into effect this month, somehow we had ended up being in-charge for my niece and nephews along with our own. The reason being that the social isolation, especially from parks and grounds, would be best observed here with us. Thus with their school break starting here, home now equates to managing a playground while working in shifts. So when cries of “he took my car” versus “the girls broke into our tree-house” , it’s like holding the court at home.

Along the way, while trying to be fair, one realizes that one doesn’t need to take sides to meet out their version of justice. For while they may be in the wrong, it mayn’t be a truly wrong thing at work. For it’s all about relative thoughts.

“Nothing in the world is ever completely wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.” Paulo Coelho

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Putting the concept of “righting the wrong“, sometimes focusing only on the person who did it doesn’t serve the purpose. All of us make mistakes. While at times, it may be a willful default that needs a severe addressal; other times it may be just a wrong turn of events or the never ending situation of trying to do good but falling out along the way. For instance, the pair of children who broke the window pane during their ball game, need to know what went wrong. But meeting out harrowing punishment, verbal or emotional doesn’t help to teach them. Instead dealing with the situation without trying to pull down the morale of anyone, but not wearing those blinders help to bring out the right thoughts of behaviour, consequence and actions in those young minds.

“The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.” Maya Angelou

Being just, is not about me being right and the other being wrong. It involves being able to listen to others’ with respect along with their versions, claims and opinions; keeping the facts in check and seeking for the evidence. To right the wrong, corrective measures doesn’t require one to always highlight the wrong doer; though they should be able to comprehend their mistake. For education with wisdom and insight is meaningless. For society to move ahead, it’s not just literacy, progress and strong work ethics that matter, but also a civic sense and the insight to strength and teach the future in a manner worth emulation and imparting the right morale, ethics as well as the code of social and personal conduct.

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A young man saw his primary school teacher on a wedding. He went to greet him with all the respect and admiration. He said to him: “Do you remember me, Teacher?”
The teacher said: “No, please introduce yourself.”
The student said: “I was your student in the 3rd Grade, I am the one who stole the watch of a child in the classroom. I will remind you but I am sure you remember the story.”

One of the boys in my class had a beautiful watch, so I decided to steal it. He came to you crying that someone had stolen his watch. You asked us to stand so as to search our pockets. I realized that my action would be exposed in front of the Students and Teachers. I will be called a thief, a liar and my character will be shattered forever.
You asked us to stand and face the wall and close our eyes completely. You went searching from pocket to pocket, and when you reached my pocket you pulled the watch out of my pocket, and you continued until you searched the last student. After you finished you asked us to open our eyes and to sit on our chairs. I was afraid you will expose me in front of the students. You showed the watch to the class, and gave it back to the boy, and you never mentioned the name of the one who stole the watch.
You never said a word to me, and you never mentioned the story to anyone. Throughout my school life, none of the teachers nor the students talked about me stealing the watch. I thought to myself you saved my dignity that day.

The teacher said: “I can’t remember who stole the watch that day, because I searched the pockets of all of you while my eyes were also closed.”

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Posted in Christian, Life, Random Thoughts

Stuck in the Fit

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Sometimes it just gets a little too much.” This thought had been going on and on, like a movie reel in my mind whole day long; popping up at the most unexpected moments. While the first was when I was running low on time due to unexpected cranky behaviour of the coffeemaker, the toaster and the list just goes on; the next was when the traffic was being held up real longer than the usual, the third was when I couldn’t find the hard copy of my project proposal soon enough and then on, I just lost the order of that thought.

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Towards the end of the day, as I made my usual trip to the local grocery to stock on the much needed household items; it was a definite crowd, more seen than the regular weekday numbers. That is when I heard the tantrum cries of the three year old, “Ice-cream!! Ice-cream!! I want it now!!” With no distraction working out, his mother found it a little difficult to get him to quieten down. The tantrum frenzy had him in a full storm. Then an elderly lady approached them and patted her hand. “Don’t worry. It’s just a big fit which is having your little kid. He’s so small so he can’t stop it yet. He needs your patience to help him and stay close to him. He’ll get past it if you’re with him.” Standing nearby I couldn’t help but overhear those words.

“He caused the storm to be still, So that the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad because they were quiet, So He guided them to their desired haven.” (Psalm 107:29-30)

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Reflecting on that unbidden thought that often entered my mind today, it felt like I was having one big “adult” fit. For while the trying circumstances of the day were never ending, it wasn’t as bad compared to the chaos of the some of the “worse” days. While things may haven’t clockwork as planned, nothing really went gross bad or horrible. Being human, sometimes things may get a little too tough. Or at times that even temperament can be sorely unbalanced by a single act, word, behaviour or thoughts. In all these moments, call to mind His Peace, His Strength and His Grace to hold us and keep calm.

The fragility of the human mind is echoed throughout the Bible with our Heavenly Father showing us enough and more of His Grace, His Kindness and His Love despite all the havoc, wrong doings and sins man has done. In those moments of “big fits” what we all need is patience, a helping hand and His Grace. And then it won’t be that we have the fits but the fits have us and will be dealt with soon. For by His Love and His Grace, these “fits” too shall pass.

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

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Posted in Family and Society, Personal Musings, poetry

Treasure the Mishaps

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“You don’t need a reason to sing.” Marty Rubin

During the early days of family life, things were a bit tight on the home front. Juggling the work schedule with additional classes, domestic chores and running a house required help with all hands on deck. Yet each coming home from work tended a surprise from my toddler in varied ways. Some days it used be ketchup on the sofa, other days it used to be feeding the dog his cereal and so on. Each homecoming has a special style. Over time, other priorities took over with school life and sports coming t the forefront, those days still bring tears of laughter to the mind. Looking back on all the carpet and upholstery stains, the ruined clothes and memories of the “i want to help” mess, those days were priceless.

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“Children see magic because they look for it.” Christopher Moore

Juggling between the domestic and professional front, requires immense patience and fortitude especially to control the sudden change of plans, the tight schedule, conflicting times, meeting deadlines as well as reasoning out with children be it a toddler or an adolescent. Raising a child often results in beautiful moments when the adult eyes are enlightened. For the glitter around the day turns to dross later, but the spontaneity, innocence, laughter, joy and love of the present are what brings warmth to the dreary and cold days of the future, if and when they come by.

“May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back, the way it is with children.” Rainer Maria Rilke

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The Handwriting On The Wall

A weary mother returned from the store,
Lugging groceries through the kitchen door.
Awaiting her arrival was her 8 year old son,
Anxious to relate what his younger brother had done.

“While I was out playing and Dad was on a call,
T.J. took his crayons and wrote on the wall!
It’s on the new paper you just hung in the den.
I told him you’d be mad at having to do it again.”

She let out a moan and furrowed her brow,
“Where is your little brother right now?”
She emptied her arms and with a purposeful stride,
She marched to his closet where he had gone to hide.

She called his full name as she entered his room.
He trembled with fear–he knew that meant doom!
For the next ten minutes, she ranted and raved
About the expensive wallpaper and how she had saved.

Lamenting all the work it would take to repair,
She condemned his actions and total lack of care.
The more she scolded, the madder she got,
Then stomped from his room, totally distraught!

She headed for the den to confirm her fears.
When she saw the wall, her eyes flooded with tears.
The message she read pierced her soul with a dart.
It said, “I love Mommy”, surrounded by a heart.

Well, the wallpaper remained, just as she found it,
With an empty picture frame hung to surround it.
A reminder to her, and indeed to all,
Take time to read the handwriting on the wall.

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, poetry, Reflections

Change of Play

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

With the sun slowly shining through the cold winds and drizzling rain, the ground slowly breaks forth as new shoots spring to life. As the daylight hours slowly lengthen, the little feet scamper around in the courtyard and the garden. Leaving aside the numerous indoor toys, the bicycle and even the bright coloured remote controlled terrain toys vehicles, these little feet and hands found the fun and happiness in playing with twigs and building a tower with sticks and pebbles. As the household chores got done on an early evening, the yard play brought back memories of the simple days of the yesteryear.

“There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither.” Alan Cohen

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As one catches up with the fast paced modernism of today, with the methodology of work as well as projects get more complex, so does the hours of relaxation. From the busy office or work schedule of around eight to twelve hours (more or less in certain scenarios), the unwinding takes a complex route at times, like indulging in the favourite video-games, Netflix shows, movie reruns or even catching up on the social networks. Minus the gadgets or a power outage, the “leisure hours” go “ka-boom”. What has happened to the simple joys of spending “quality time” with family and friends, or just a little quiet time with the self to rejuvenate, recuperate and recharge.

“This is the real secret of life — to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.” Alan Watts

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One can’ escape the modernism of the world as the years mature from childhood to adult years. As the list of responsibilities, dreams, ambitions and goals grow, get prioritized or re-prioritized, the purpose would be to infuse a little of “gentle play” in the work as well as to recharge after the strenuous hours. We all have only one life to lead, that one is inherently aware of. Too much of focus of any one arena will result in the loss of another. The “play of life” has to be done in a gentle manner with the amount of “work”, “fun”, “relationships”, “relaxation” and the like to be done in healthy balanced or proportionate doses. One doesn’t need to get too fanciful, just the simple things in life in the right amounts would help in experiencing the gifts and blessings of life.

Playthings

Child, how happy you are sitting in the dust, playing with a broken twig all the morning.
I smile at your play with that little bit of a broken twig.
I am busy with my accounts, adding up figures by the hour.
Perhaps you glance at me and think, “What a stupid game to spoil your morning with!”
Child, I have forgotten the art of being absorbed in sticks and mud-pies.
I seek out costly playthings, and gather lumps of gold and silver.
With whatever you find you create your glad games, I spend both my time and my strength over things I never can obtain.
In my frail canoe I struggle to cross the sea of desire, and forget that I too am playing a game.

– Rabindranath Tagore

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