parenting – Page 4 – Sugar And Spice… Among Other Things

Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, poetry, Reflections, Work

Improvise and Lighten

Posted on October 25, 2019June 13, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and a richness to life that nothing else can bring.” Oscar Wilde

As the late summer rains hit the early evening skies, the drive back from work got longer than usual, with the roads being slippery and visibility strained. Consequently the “train of late” followed. Late dinner, the bedtime of children delayed, house still in a mess and chores left undone. It takes all of one’s mental will to not scream but handle the situation to the best of their capacity. The entire mood can be made dark for not just one person but rest of the related people (here the family) when things go berserk. The anger of one person can be transferred to the rest, creating a negative ripple effect and impact the peace and happiness of the rest along the way. Or one can chose to make the best of the situation. Instead of putting the blame on anyone, it would be a thousand times better to find humour in the fiasco, ending the day on a better note and lighter mood.

“We do not remember days, we remember moments.” Cesare Pavese

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Unknowingly (more than knowingly) one is making moments and memories by every minute. While at times, we may have the “good times” , others may be the “bad times”. Yet it is how one handles them that makes the difference year-round. Each negative thought or action that one has or does, influences the feelings, memory and actions of those around one especially children; if not immediately, then later over a period of time. When one masters the art of dealing the situation at hand, in a light or positive mood; then the emotions and memories transferred to the others would be positive, uplifting and an enriching experience for both the doer and the rest around them. All of us have it in us, to make the best of ourselves. Though it’s alright to rave and rant at the moment, buckle up and start doing their own best to make the situation better. Doing so, will not enrich our own treasure chest of memories but make memorable ones for later and for others.

“Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.” Tony Robbins

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

A glorious recipe for the soul
Fold two hands together,
And express a dash of sorrow;
Marinate it overnight,
And work on it tomorrow.

Chop one grudge in tiny pieces
Add several cups of love,
Dredge with a large-sized smile,
Mix in ingredients from above.

Dissolve the hate within you,
By doing a good deed;
Cut in and help your friend,
If he or she should be in need.

Stir in laughter, love and thankfulness,
From the heart it has to come;
Toss with genuine kindness, then
share with folks who may need some.

The amount of people served,
Will all depend on you …
This recipe can feed an entire world,
If you really want it to!

Author Unknown

Source:https://vk.com/pub_mdma

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source:https://vk.com/pub_mdma

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source:https://vk.com/pub_mdma

Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections

Pillars that Nurture

Posted on October 21, 2019June 12, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“The glory of the elderly is their insight to life.” Lailah Gifty Akita

One of the most awaited events that causes unabashed eagerness of the kids to head to the homestead during holidays, is the time spent fishing with their grandparents. Hand in hand, the kids along with their grandfather and great-uncles head off to the lake in the early morning hours. On some days, there is quite a catch but on other days maybe nothing. Yet the loss of a good catch was negated by the interesting stories and legends narrated by their elders. It was interesting to listen to the recounted versions on the drive back home or later in the following weeks. There are certain priceless things that parents can’t teach their children, at times simply due to the lack of time or different levels of responsibilities cropping up. Those are the times when the gaps are filled in by their grandparents.

“The wiser mind mourns less for what age takes away than what it leaves behind.” William Wordsworth

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

One of the benefits of having a strong support system, of family, friends and community is that when one falls, there are hands to break the fall. This support system is like a huge tree with sturdy branches. As a small tree, the few larger older branches support, shade and model the new smaller branches. With their strength and shape, they balance the entire tree, providing sustenance for the smaller branches and reach for the light. Over time the other branches grow large, join with other clusters and support the older branches. As the old branches age, grow weak, die or fall away, the branches above take over their role, supporting the new young branches. A large support system works on similar lines.

“Their dark forms are larger than life, because memories like that grow along with your body, so that adults from our childhood always resemble an extinct race of old gods, still towering over us.” Stefan Hertmans

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Unfortunately one of the strong contenders for the time of the kids, is lure of the modern entertainment. As more and more time is spent on “the modern development” of learning through applications, television, social media and the like, under the guise of “modern learning”, the memories and fresh experiences of childhood are often missed. There a lot of things that elders who have lived their lives with integrity, love and dignity can teach the younger ones. Like the experiences their parents had shared with their grandparents, from learning to fish, camp outside, have a good laugh, fun in the garden, the value of a good friendship, respect for elders and all beings, to work hard, to love and live to the fullest at each age of life. The list is long. Cooped up in the mesh of “the modern skills, media and entertainment”, a lot can be missed during the best years of childhood. All the branches of the tree contribute in a silent way. Unless each one as their role played out, the “family tree” fails to sustain and grow new fruit and saplings from it’s seeds or centuries for the future centuries.

“Where there is not community, trust, respect, ethical behavior are difficult for the young to learn and for the old to maintain.” Robert K. Greenleaf

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

“Listen to your elder’s advice. Not because they are always right, but because they have more experience of being wrong…” Unknown

Daily, Family and Society, Random Thoughts, Reflections

Balance the Wheels

Posted on October 16, 2019June 11, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Nothing compares to the simple pleasure of riding a bike” John F Kennedy

“Crash!” There is a loud sound amidst the silence on the lawn, followed by the patter of a pair of running feet which lands to a stop in front of the door to the patio. Two little pairs of hands pick themselves pick, brush off the lawn grass off their dress, scramble up their cycles and off they go again. As two pairs of adult eyes watched, the little legs slowly gained their balance and restarted their friendly cycle match.

Photo by Jessica Lewis on Pexels.com

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

During the initial days when my preschooler had got his tricycle, he was excited and slowly learnt to ride it. Later as he had gained his balance, he had experimented with his cousin’s bicycle. The first few seating’s were met with multiple falls, though with padded knees and elbows scrapes were relatively less. Albeit he had a fear of the bi-cycle for the balance was of utmost importance and anything that upset it was a sure fall. Slowly he had learn to balance himself, yet even today at times he prefers walking downhill with his bicycle than ride it for the fear that he may lose control and fall.

“You are likely to fall when you stop paddling your bicycle. Such is life. As long as you don’t give up, you will never end up failing!” Israelmore Ayivor

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Like the preschooler bicycle rides, adults often find themselves in a similar analogy when learning something new, like driving a two or four wheeler, mastering a new cuisine, art or course, learning a new skill and the like. Life is all learning to balance the rides. During the early phases each one of us prefers to take the baby steps as we feel around life and it’s various aspects. Later as the confidence grows, learning to ride the tricycle is the first step. As one matures, we learn to balance on the two wheeler and then we ride our way through the roads.

As every adult evolves at each new phase; one is still bound to stumble around new or unknown corners, rough graveled roads and fall at sharp turns. Despite all the falls, dusting ourselves, picking off where we had fell and going ahead is more important than the fact that one fell. No matter how many security or assurance one receives, we all are bound to fall. It’s picking ourselves up that matters. Like the preschooler who learns to balance the bicycle, one too needs to brush ourselves and turn around after every wobble, stumble or fall. Once we gain the courage to do so, one discovers that life is a wonderful journey with a beautiful view and memorable ride ahead.

“When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride you are taking.” Arthur Conan Doyle

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Stories Around the World, Work

To Explore the Sky

Posted on September 25, 2019May 29, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.” Confucius

During the annual regional inter school cultural festival, one of the eagerly awaited events was the “prose recital” contest. One of the new entries in the middle school level was none other than my niece who made her first debut this year. Although she loves poetry and was selected through the school competition, this entry was an impromptu choice. Given her innate manner of being on the quiet side, her entry was in response to the challenge of being labelled as a mouse by her classmates. When the call was made for the participants at school level, she had enrolled her name. Whether it was for avoiding the labeling or improving her confidence onstage, this opportunity had opened the door to her hidden talent at declamation.

“We’ll never know our full potential unless we push ourselves to find it.” Travis Rice

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Reflecting back on the entire episode, one finds themselves in similar situations across the various stages of life. Whether it is the professional, academics, family or personal life; we are limited by the lines we set internally in our minds. For the introvert who may have a hidden talent at playing music or the extrovert who is the life of a party may be an excellent writer. While the former has to acquire the confidence to face the crowd; the latter fears the label of “nerd”. Living in their insecurities, their hidden gifts may be wasted over time. These are just two of the many scenarios that one may be able to recollect, feel or relate to.

“Find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.” Deepak Chopra

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Choosing to break the set mould and soar high is no simple feat. Barriers are there at each and every level. Be it lack of time, innate fears, insecurities, the diatribe of words around oneself, criticism, comments or snide remarks; they all come as we move on and ahead. Yet as long as one believes themselves and knows their true talent, keeping the inner flame alive and strong; the rest all are just flies to be swatted, avoided or ignored. No one can stop the person who really wants to explore their talent. Confidence and courage will come along the way, when the innate self-belief and assurance stays strong. If not for the latter, the eagle would never learnt to soar high. Be oneself, find oneself and test their own limits to know own potential. Don’t fit yourself in the label made by others. Find your own niche and grow the hidden potential. Take courage and fly.

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

A man found an eagle’s egg and put it in a nest of a barnyard hen. The eagle hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them. All his life, the eagle did what the barnyard chicks did, thinking he was a barnyard chicken. He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked and cackled. And he thrashed his wings and flew a few feet in the air. Years passed and the eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird above him in the cloudless sky. It glided in graceful majesty among powerful wind currents, with scarcely a beat of its strong, golden wings. The old eagle looked up in awe. ‘Who’s that?’ he asked. ‘That’s the eagle, the king of the birds,’ said his neighbour. ‘He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth – we’re chickens.’ So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that is what he thought he was.
(Author unknown) (African American folktale)

What would have happened if the running eaglet decided to fly to sit on the coop rafters? What would have happened if the eagle was taken out of it’s surroundings and given a chance to fly ? What would have happened if the eagle tried to mid flap in it’s adult life and found the courage to try and see the effect, instead of listening to the remarks around it ?

“Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.” Richard Bach

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Photo by C. Stone on Pexels.com

Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World, Work

Ignite the Spark

Posted on September 23, 2019May 28, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Potential is a priceless treasure, like gold. All of us have gold hidden within, but we have to dig to get it out.” Joyce Meyer

Trying to reason with a preschooler or a primary school child isn’t easy. When the word “no” appears in any manner, directly or very subtly, the effect and chaos created is quite remarkable. For instance, telling a toddler to not climb and sit on the table as he may pull the tablecloth and spill the milk may sound like a challenge. After trying to give many more reasons or distractions, the best way out as few of us parents have discovered is the way through. That is, spoil the fun of the climb by lifting him on to the table, distract and then take him to the sturdy outdoor table for a climb. At times, these similar “way out” may be a better alternative than the screaming, mutinous expression and tantrums courtesy of the “essential no’s”.

“To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.” Mary Oliver

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

One of the innate elements of children is their ability to experiment and do things different. While handling the antics of a toddler, one is reminded of how similar techniques may have to apply while reasoning with adults. Whether they be siblings, extended family, friends, neighbours or even colleagues, motivating or reasoning out with someone involves a wide range of means to get the point across. From scientific reasoning, display of facts to emotional cajoling and threatening ways in order to change of a set thinking or behaviour may be attempted. Some ways may work, other don’t.

“We can see through others only when we can see through ourselves.” Bruce Lee

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Among the better ways to incite a change in attitude, behaviour, manners or thoughts; is to stimulate their curiosity, project out the possible sequence of events and excite their sense of accomplishment. The challenge to change is half done when one realizes how important the change is, in order to be a part of something great. To quote the words of Antoine de Saint-Exupery,”If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.” By exploring their dreams, aligning a little bit of it to the bigger goals and stimulating their interest, the potential of what can be achieved when the right changes are made, is immense. When the true and just vision of one person joins with similar dreams of those around him, it isn’t just the society that becomes better but life in general, becomes more beautiful, meaningful and of purpose.

“There is no man living who isn’t capable of doing more than he thinks he can do.” Henry Ford

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He would not be quiet, no matter what anyone else said or did. Various attempts were made to do something about the child. One person told the boy that he would, if he continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums. This reasoning was too advanced for the child, who was neither a scientist nor a scholar. A second person told him that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be carried out only on special occasions. The third person offered the neighbours plugs for their ears; a fourth gave the boy a book; a fifth gave the neighbours books that described a method of controlling anger through biofeedback; a sixth person gave the boy meditation exercises to make him placid and docile. None of these attempts worked. Eventually, a wise person came along with an effective motivation. He looked at the situation, handed the child a hammer and chisel, and asked, ‘I wonder what is inside the drum?’ No more problem.
-Author Unknown

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Daily, Family and Society, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

Eyes That Watch Us

Posted on September 18, 2019May 24, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Children learn more from what you are than what you teach.” W.E.B. DuBois

As the little toddler grows up in the family, certain mannerisms and phrases have been coming along too quickly for his age. From putting into place a cushion seat for his tiny legs during the allotted television time to aligning his shoes, experimenting with his father’s hair gel and picking up phrases of “Wipe your feet”, “no phone during meal times” and the like; highlights how much more they learn as they watch and observe the adults around them.

“What we are teaches the child far more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become.” Joseph Chilton Pearce

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

As time flies, being parents or guardians of these little wonders, one never realizes how much they significantly imbibe more from the world around them, than what they have been taught in the kindergarten or later even in school. Like the old adage goes, family is the first teacher of a child; the little things that children pick have an immense effect on their future. Whether it be the physical, emotional, mental or social aspects of their life, parents and elders are their first educators.

“Children or babies learn to mimic the vibration of the adults who surround them long before they learn to mimic their words.” Abraham-Hicks

For adults knowing this matters the most; for this silent teaching is what determines the future of those little ones. The errors of the present would require a huge effort in the future to be corrected then, instead of now. Realizing this significance in the present would shape their future thinking, behaviour and character. Time will always go ahead as always. Let the present memories not be those of regret and guilt; but treasured ones as they move ahead in their future lives.

“Your children will see what you’re all about by what you live, rather than what you say.” Wayne Dyer

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favourite cake for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don’t.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn’t feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it’s alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I learned most of life’s lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, ‘Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.’

– Mary Rita Schilke Korzan

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Daily, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Random Thoughts, Reflections

Remove by their Root

Posted on September 12, 2019May 25, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it.” Dogen

Working on the patch of garden with my little toddler was fun time. Although those little hands were busy with the spade to loosen out the mud; the major fun lay in the activity of pulling out the unwanted weeds, popping up in amidst the patch of chrysanthemums. Initially their stalks used to only come off. Later on he had painstakingly ensured that the entire weed, along with its’ roots was collectively removed. As long as the thrill of getting his hands muddied wasn’t negated, he enjoyed the fun time in the little flower bed. The surprising part about weds is that, one doesn’t water or nurture them; yet they still come up.

https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

“Pull them out by their roots.”

As the weeding process was going on, one can’t help look into the personal weeds in our lives. Whether those weeds be as false influences, challenges, setbacks, wrong beliefs, negative people, biased criticism and so on, the list is always endless. There is always something cropping up in our lives at the wrong time and unwanted places bringing about the negative energy and slowing down one’s own potential. At each stage of one’s life, they occur in different forms.

“ You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people.” Joel Osteen

Letting the crop of weeds grow and multiply out of sheer laziness, lack of prioritizing or neglecting them without foreseeing the future damage, would result in an increased load of work and trouble in the not too distant future. On the other hand, when timely dealt with, these weeds would be nothing more than a difficult situation easily conquered.

“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.” Shirley MacLaine

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

On dealing with the negative aspects that one encounters in life, is to the to the root of the problem and deal with them one by one. Eventually the unwanted weeds may be regrouped into something more beautiful or removed to make way for the better surroundings to shine. The only caution is to pull out the negativeness in it’s entirety. Else just as one believes them to be removed, they would crop up with double the strength later on, being a nuisance more then than now. As each crop of problems arise, solving and settling them from their root level help us come out of the situation soon; giving fresh courage, experience and hope to face the next crop of trouble or negativeness as they come fresh again.

“As time goes by, you seem to weed out the things that were making your life hard.” Tom Petty

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments