people – Page 11 – Sugar And Spice… Among Other Things

Daily, Family and Society, poetry, Reflections

From One Candle

Posted on July 24, 2019May 7, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Those candle flames were like the lives of men. So fragile. So deadly. Left alone, they lit and warmed. Let run rampant, they would destroy the very things they were meant to illuminate. Embryonic bonfires, each bearing a seed of destruction so potent it could tumble cities and dash kings to their knees.” Brandon Sanderson

With constant power outages in the midst of the heavy rains (the latter being an affirmation of the monsoon season getting into it’s full swing); light and electricity, the essentials for daily living are often more “drained out” than available. Which is why, the alternative measures, ranging from generators to inverters, emergency lanterns and the like are made available to continue the daily life, uninterrupted, hassle free and comfortable, be it home, neighbourhood, office or an institute. Yet when the alternatives too run out after continuous long hours or even days of power outages, the two essentials to fall back on are the “sun-rays” and the “candle”. No matter how technologically advanced one becomes, at the end of the night, it’s the candle that throws some light; especially during power outages.

“Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness.” Anne Frank

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The fascination in watching the flames of the candle flicker never dies out with time. The light as well as the direction of the flame, the shadow and patterns it casts are few of the many reasons why candles are still around. Most is the warmth reflected by a candle. At times, candles remind one of people in general. The spread of warmth and sharing of light makes the most aloof person glow and lights up the inner happiness. At the same time, when misused, lit wrong or without proper safety measures and precautions, candles have the capacity to light ablaze destroying everything in the process. The potential and power of a candle, like people, can never be underestimated. The more one grows optimism and love within; the more light is shared and like candles; warmth, happiness and joy is spread about. Even if one candle is lit, it can make a big difference in the world around it.

“Each time a person passes by you and you say ‘hello’, imagine that person turning into a candle. The more positivity, love and light you reflect, the more light is mirrored your way. Sharing beautiful hellos is the quickest way to earn spiritual brownie points. You should start seeing hellos as small declarations of faith. Every time you say hello to a stranger, your heart acknowledges over and over again that we are all family.” Suzy Kassem

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

And People Went Out Like Candles

Sometimes, there is a longing in the evening,
But there is no soul near …
So people went out like candles …
They broke like pencils …

And they need just a little –
Support without prickly phrases,
Love is sensitive and trust in God …
And compassion for kind eyes …

Heartbreak was not noticed …
We are in a hurry about our business …
And people went out like candles …
They broke like pencils …

We do not need advice,
When longing is in the soul …
We need a drop of light in our heart,
When there is a hand in our hand …

A meeting with a loved one –
Saving the human soul …
People shone like candles …
They sharpened like pencils …

-Irina Samarin-Labyrinth
(Translated to English. Source: vk.com)

Photo by Valeria Boltneva on Pexels.com

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Source:https://vk.com/neverbebetter

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Photo by Breakingpic on Pexels.com

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World, Work

Of Criticism and Growth

Posted on July 22, 2019April 27, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“The greatest success is by helping others succeed and grow”. Gregory Scott Reid

Daily meetings, brain storming sessions, weekly to monthly audits and assessments are just a few of the many routines that become a part of the working hours. Besides the stress of getting prepared for these meetings is the onslaught of criticism that often comes along with them. Many a time, the harsh words, though said for improvement on the whole, have the potential to ruin not just the mood for the day or the project, but also destroy the cordiality and communication between colleagues.

“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.” Frank A. Clark

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

An open two edged sword is criticism; for it has both the power and potential, to create as well as destroy, even if done with the best intentions at heart, albeit a poor deliverance. To grow, one needs to know the better way of doing things as well as new methods. Fresh perspectives are often given when viewed from far, or when heard from a fresh viewpoints. Criticism is needed to grow and flourish; but certain practicalities need to be kept in mind when dealing with them.

“Every human being is entitled to courtesy and consideration. Constructive criticism is not only to be expected but sought.” Margaret Chase Smith

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

For the criticizers, learning to objective, non-biased, fair and practical, removing undesirable or malicious personal intentions from the root, while thinking to criticize. There are always different ways to say the same thing. For instance, “Although the planning is good, there are few gray areas that may not help it to work out” sounds better than “this plan is preposterous“. While truth is truth, “practical be practically feasible” and “direct-to-the-point sayees” not sugar-coat their words; there are ways to be gentle, direct, kind as well as truthful, without being hurtful, malicious or derive pleasure from the downfall of others. After all what goes around, comes round and back to the initiator in the long run.

“I criticize by creation, not by finding fault.” Marcus Tullius Cicero

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

On the receiving end, learning to accept and discard the right words, objectives, advice or plans are equally important in improving the self in the long run. In order to experience growth and progress; one needs to improvise, remove possible errors and initiate changes at the right time. All these and more can be made by accepting fresh perspectives, once in a while. Criticism will always come no matter what. It’s up to oneself to show the right attitude and deal with the words, actions and deeds that one may come across, especially at the work front. As a matter fact, stone are thrown only at trees bearing fruit.

“Stay positive and happy. Work hard and don’t give up hope. Be open to criticism and keep learning. Surround yourself with happy, warm and genuine people.” Tena Desae

Many years ago there were a group of brilliant young men at the University of Wisconsin. The group of men seemed to have an amazing creative literary talent and were extraordinary in their ability to put their literary skills to its best use. These promising young men met regularly to read and critique each other’s literary works. These men were merciless while they criticized one another. They dissected the most minute of the expressions and offered tough and even mean criticism to each others work. Their meeting sessions became arenas of literary criticism and the members of this exclusive club called themselves the “Stranglers.”

Not to be excluded to the opportunity to level up there literary skills, the women of literary interest in the university started a club of their own, one comparable to Stranglers. The members called themselves the “ Wranglers.” The member of the lub too presented their literary pieces in front of each another. But the feedback from the members were much more softer, more positive and more encouraging. Every effort from a member, even the most feeble one, was encouraged by all.

After twenty years, a university alumnus was doing a study of his classmates’ career when he noticed a huge difference in the literary accomplishments of the Stranglers and the Wranglers. Among all the brilliant young men in the strangler, none had made any significant literary achievement. But the Wranglers had several successful writers and some renowned national literary talents. The talent and the education between the two groups were almost the same. There were not much difference. The Stranglers strangled each other while the Wranglers gave each other a lift. The stranglers created atmosphere of contention and self doubt while the Wranglers brought out the best in each other. (Source: vk. com)

“If we had no faults we should not take so much pleasure in noting those of others.” François de La Rochefoucauld

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Daily, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Circles, Time and Again…

Posted on July 19, 2019April 27, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“I drop kindness pebbles in still water everyday, and I watch the effect they have on other people’s lives. My favorite kindness pebbles are compliments. Drop a compliment and watch the ripple affect that it has in your life.” John A Passaro

Amidst the melee of living the modern life, very often one never stops to think of the far reaching impact of one’s actions, words and thoughts. Little does one realize that when one is really happy, it blooms from within silently triggering the “blooming effect” in those around them. Similarly with kindness. A single kind thought stems the anger or unrest growing within. That stemmed unrest is instead transformed to kind words, starting off a chain reaction that may or mayn’t end with the initiator. Although it mayn’t end in a full circle, the peaceful and mental calm that kindness leaves behind is worth the effort taken to practise a little bit of kindness daily.

Source:https://vk.com/pub_mdma

“Don’t look to others to give you happiness. Grow it within yourself and share it with the world around you. Bets are, if you give a bit of your happiness to the world, it will begin a ripple effect, and who knows how many other people you can help. It’s never too late to decide that your happiness (or whatever it is that you want) is yours to create and not the other way around.” Leigh Hershkovich

Time and time again, the existence of few laws of life that withstands the test of time has been proven. Among them, is the law of kindness; which like the ripples of a pebble dropped into water has consequences far reaching even after the initial ripple has faded away. The more one practises creating the “good ripples”, the more one experiences life to its’ fullest with the best moments that the latter offers.

“The help we give to others creates the ripple of good feeling we give to ourselves.” Gina Greenlee

Source:https://vk.com/pub_mdma

Once in a woman’s apartment a cactus bloomed. Prior to this, it was four years old, stuck on the windowsill, like a gloomy and unshaven janitor and suddenly such a surprise. In pleasant thoughts about a blooming cactus, she accidentally stepped on the foot of a gloomy man in the subway. She didn’t scream her remark as usual with an offended look. But smiled:
“Do not be angry with me, please, I had nothing to hold on to; if you like, you can step on my foot and we will be quits.” The grim man swallowed what he was going to voice about her. Then he went to his station and bought a newspaper. Instead of haggling the saleswoman, confused with the calculation of delivery or calling her stupid, he said to her: ” It’s okay, count again, I am not good at math either early in the morning.”
The saleswoman, who did not expect such a response, was deeply moved and gave free of charge two old magazines and a whole pile of old newspapers to an old man, a pensioner who was a regular customer, fond of reading but buying only one cheap newspaper every day.

A contented old man went home with an armful of newspapers and magazines. Having met a neighbor from the upper floor, he didn’t give her a daily talk on the topic: “your child is stomping around the apartment like an elephant and is preventing rest, it is necessary to bring up better”, but he looked and said: “Your daughter has grown. I don’t understand whom she is more like you or her father, but she will definitely be a fine lady.” The neighbor took the child to the garden, went to work at the reception and did not shout at the senseless grandmother who had signed up for an appointment with the doctor for yesterday, but came today. Instead she said,” Come on, don’t be upset, I also sometimes forget my schedule. You can sit for a minute, and I will check with the doctor the visit for now.” Having received an appointment, the grandmother did not demand that she be given a very effective, but inexpensive medicine that can instantly help cure the disease; threatening in case of refusal to write complaints to all public bodies or media but sighed and said: – “I am not completely out of my mind. I understand that old age cannot be cured, but can you forgive me, doctor, for dragging myself to you all the time. ”

And the doctor walking home in the evening, suddenly remembered his grandmother and felt sorry for her. He suddenly thought that life in its usual rush flies by, and, giving in to a sudden impulse, stopped at the nearest supermarket, bought a bouquet of flowers, a cake with cream roses and went the other way. He drove up to a house, climbed to the third floor and knocked on the door. “I’ve been thinking, about time and you. I bought you a cake, but I accidentally put my briefcase on it. I hope this is not a bad thing, because it will not affect the taste. I also bought you flowers, but they also got a little crushed by the same portfolio. Maybe they can be saved ?” “That will be alright,” the woman replied, “we will reanimate them. And I have news. Just imagine, I woke up today, I looked at the window, and my cactus has bloomed. See? ” (Source: vk.com, translated to English)

“Our power lies in our small daily choices, one after another, to create eternal ripples of a life well lived.” Mollie Marti

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes, Reflections, Work

The “Changed Faces”

Posted on July 18, 2019May 1, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

If you were deceived by life,
Don’t feel dismal, don’t get mad!
Be at ease and don’t feel sad:
The days of joy will soon arrive!
The heart can’t wait for this to pass;
The present is depressing here:
All is fleeting rather fast;
That which passes will be dear.
-Alexander Pushkin (1825)

Change in life, happens like water; more so when people are involved. The continuous flow of water or the sudden gush with or without a block in the regular course; taking the shape of the vessel it belongs to and tasteless but blending its flavours from the source till the other end; the nature of people runs along similar lines. Especially the latter, which maybe as predictable as the flow and nature of water or even the wind.

“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.” Nicholas Sparks

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Reviewing across the various phases in life, many of us may have encountered at some point of time or other, people who were once close acquaintances become distant or avoidant; or the ones who were “less friendly” stepping in with a helping hand or forging new bonds in the later years. Such is the nature of man in general. People change, so do perspectives and perceptions. While for some the fault may be ours or on the other side; sometimes the distance may just happen. Bridging the gap maybe too late; at times a non achievable feat, no matter how much one may try.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Victor Frankl

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

As the “faces” change, one of the hardest part is accepting the “blow”, while at the same time, trying one’s best to not bear deep seated grudges or hatred within. Being human, feeling hate, regret, disappointment among the many emotions is normal and natural. Yet staying in the same rut or frame of mind will prove detrimental in the short as well as the long run. People will change, each of us will be subject to change in our lives. Few times we may be at the receiving end of “changed faces”, while other times we may at the “giving” end. No matter how the “changing faces” maybe; moving on in the right manner is what matters the most. For life with her lessons, gives us memories and moments to cherish, learn from as well as mature for the better tomorrow.

“You collect people to take with you. Some people change, other people don’t… it’s wonderful because I’ve met some incredible friends.” Imogen Poots

Source:https://vk.com/pepheads

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Source:https://vk.com/veruj

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Source:https://vk.com/veruj

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World, Work

Navigate From Within

Posted on July 8, 2019March 31, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.” Jawaharlal Nehru

One of the advantages of chance meetings with old friends, colleagues or neighbours when one has time on their hands, is the quick catch up session followed by exchange of news as well contact details. In that short time, information is passed about common acquaintances who have moved on, made changes or are still there. For those who have done better, we often compare ourselves to them. For those who have done worse, we acknowledge that their life has taken a different turn and at times, blame fate. What we almost always fail to realize is that, commenting about others progress (whether one wants to or not) never really makes a difference, for each holds their own destiny in their hand.

“Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.” Kin Hubbard

Source:https://vk.com/comeshome

Destiny, has been one of the concepts that man prefers to fall back on, when things never go the way planned. Post any setback, the reactions range from blame those around one to the sequence of events, circumstances and so on and so forth; everything but the person alone. The drawback of such a cycle, is that, once started it is difficult to break it. Moreover, the tendency to always indulge in the cycle of acts persists.

“Everywhere man blames nature and fate, yet his fate is mostly but the echo of his character and passions, his mistakes and weaknesses.” Democritus

Source:https://vk.com/comeshome

Another way that man deals with setbacks is to hire “services” that offer to point out the right time as per mathematical, astrological, zodiac or other elemental methods of calculation. Little does one realize, that plans, setbacks, success and failure all lies within one person, their reaction to sequence of events in relation to their plans, dreams and hopes in life. Destiny, success, hard work, plans, hope and achievement all starts within. One decides wisely for oneself; knowing their own limitations, merits and lapses.

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Source:https://vk.com/comeshome

To face destiny and achieve success requires one to introspective, willing to learn and observe from own as well as others’ lives. By blinding the eyes of the mind, the path taken will always be wrought with weeds of trouble, failures and uncertainties. To stay strong, one has to believe that they can navigate, as long as one knows how, where and what to look for. Man always has the discernment to make plans and tune destiny to work in one’s favour, provided one always believes in themselves, knows oneself with flaws, strength and all.

“If we would see the color of our future, we must look for it in our present; if we would gaze on the star of our destiny, we must look for it in our hearts.”
Canon Farra

Source:https://vk.com/comeshome

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

The Warrior’s Destiny

A great Japanese warrior named Nobunaga was going to war with a fierce enemy with only one-tenth the number of men the opposition commanded. He knew that he could win the fight with a well planned strategy, but his soldiers were in doubt. On the way the leader stopped at a Shinto shrine and told his men: “After my visit to the shrine I will toss a coin. If the head comes, we will win; if tails, we will lose. Destiny holds us in her hand.” Nobunaga entered the shrine and offered his prayers. Then he came forth and tossed a coin in front of his men. Heads appeared. The soldiers were filled with confident and were eager to win the battle.
“No one can change the hand of destiny,” one of his attendants told him after the battle.
“Indeed not,” said Nobunaga and showed the coin which was doubled with heads on the both side.

“ Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” William Jennings Bryan

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source:https://vk.com/comeshome

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Work

Restrain these “Feelings”

Posted on June 28, 2019June 23, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Delays not informed on time. Incomplete reviews and assessments. Incorrect information when collected and submitted. Snide remarks by colleagues, peers, juniors or seniors.

Regular parking spot occupied. Litter thrown on the sidewalk next to home. Incessant traffic queues caused by vehicles cutting in between. Grocery carts all used up and none empty. Regular groceries out of stock.

Socks on the floor. Dirty dishes in the sink. Laundry done with all colours mixed up. Bed not made. Toys all scattered on the floor. Mud tracks into the hall and kitchen.

One may be faced with some, few or similar situations as above, wherein the temperament has been sorely tested and one is struggling to rein in the anger and bitter words of resentment. In fact. these kinds of “irritation” is quite common. Each one of us at some point of our lives may have faced them, in some manner or the other. While the temptation to lash out and vent the bitterness, frustration and anger bred out the irritation is compelling; little do we realize the ramifications of indulging in so.

“The one who cannot restrain their anger will wish undone, what their temper and irritation prompted them to do.” Horace

Source:https://vk.com/we_live_a

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

Irritation in fact is one of the manifestations of bitterness, discontent and underlying pride or expectations that one’s words will always be followed. While “irritation” at times may be justified or understandable, keeping it in check will reveal the true character and personality within. If truth be told, with constant irritability, we devalue our work.

“I get irritated, I get upset. Especially when I’m in a hurry. But I see it all as part of our training. To get irritated is to lose our way in life.” Haruki Murakami

Each one of us has their own share of trials, misfortunes, difficulties, struggles, insecurities as well as stress. All the talk of love, kindness and humaneness is lost, unless one learns to understand and accept the differences of the other. What makes one different is when we learn to control the “irritation”.

” As a human being, anger is a part of our mind. Irritation also part of our mind. But you can do – anger come, go. Never keep in your sort of – your inner world, then create a lot of suspicion, a lot of distrust, a lot of negative things, more worry.” Dalai Lama

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Controlling the irritation when one is over worked, stressed and trying to meet deadlines isn’t easy. But once we learn to breathe and let go; the next time it won’t be difficult to do so. In fact, that’s how one gets the hang of de-stressing the mind and not letting inconsequential things affect it. Even though things may go out of hand, getting irritated would never help. Instead facing the problem ahead and outlining the solution does wonders.

“If someone irritates you, it is only your own response that is irritating you. Therefore, when anyone seems to be provoking you, remember that it is only your judgment of the incident that provokes you.” Epictetus

The best memories, things or even feelings of life are never easy to attain if we constantly hang on to the emotional stress at each point of time. Learning to be gentle, less expectant as well as more patient will weed out the “irritation”, helping us to reduce the dreary days as well as the turbulent negative that may completely swamp us. Life is simple, once we learn to chose the most important things that it offers us.

“If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?” – Rumi

Source:https://vk.com/pub_mdma

Family and Society, Life, Photography Art, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Learn to “Notice”

Posted on June 27, 2019March 24, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Very often, when rushing for the next appointment or meeting, we often hunt for the needed items of the hour, but fail to notice the rest, like the fact that the main laptop power switch was on, the colleague next door was on leave or that the driver of the car parked nearby was having abnormal movements, most likely that of an early stroke. While these details may be excused when overlooked while in a hurry, the mind has become accustomed to seeing what it wants to see. Sadly with the rise of modern era, one of the most frequently lost out art is the power to observe and notice the details.

“To acquire knowledge, one must study;
but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.”
-Marilyn vos Savant

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Are the other details important ?

One of the most common feelings that often swamp one are the feelings of regret, guilt and lost opportunities. Unfortunately all these can be avoided by observing the details that may seem unimportant then, but later becomes vital. Time is one factor that will never wait. Besides it’s always the details unasked but observed that make the difference, build and sustain relationships or clinch the idea as well as effect the change.

“Do stuff. be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration’s shove or society’s kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It’s all about paying attention. attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. stay eager.” Susan Sontag

The observations made by one will be reflected in their words, actions and thoughts later, many a time unknown to them. While we may miss them out at times, learning to look for the bigger picture will help us prevent regrets and fatal errors. Hindsight is a keen thing. Once we reflect back and retrospect and learn from the errors, the more progress we can make ahead in our lives. Each day, hours and minutes of observation are lessons as well as occasions to make our life worth living and making memories to treasure.

“I think that my job is to observe people and the world, and not to judge them. I always hope to position myself away from so-called conclusions. I would like to leave everything wide open to all the possibilities in the world.” Haruki Murakami

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Once a teacher said to his student: ” Look around you, and then tell me all the white objects.” The student looked around. He saw a white ceiling, walls, white window frames, a tablecloth, curtains, book covers and many other things.
“Well, Now I want you to close your eyes and name everything in this room that is yellow,” said the teacher. The guy was at a loss: ” But how can I answer you, I did not notice anything!”.
– Now open your eyes and see how many yellow things here !!! Yellow pillows, a yellow frame with a photo, a yellow pencil stand, a yellow rug …
– “But it’s not fair! You yourself told me to look only for the white color,
but there was not a word about yellow!” – the student was indignant.
– That’s what I wanted to show you! You focused and searched for objects of only white color, but did not notice the others.

“Never trust to general impressions, my boy, but concentrate yourself upon details.” Arthur Conan Doyle

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts