Tag: people

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings

Finding “Nemo” and Oneself Too…

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Dory: Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down do you wanna know what you’ve gotta do?
Marlin: No I don’t wanna know.
Dory: [singing] Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
Marlin: Dory, no singing.
Dory: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho. I love to swim. When you want to swim you want to swim.
Marlin: Now I’m stuck with that song… Now it’s in my head.
Dory: Sorry.
– From “Finding Nemo”

One of the perks of being an avid animation movie fan in a household of toddlers is that one gets to indulge in them more often with a guilt free mind. For weekend movie nights, it’s a tussle between kids’ and parental choice. Last weekend was “Finding Nemo” (2003), the plot centers around Marlin, an overprotective ocellaris clown fish who along with Dory, a regal blue tang search for Nemo, his son who was abducted. Their journey takes them all the way to Sydney Harbour. Along the way, Marlin learns to take risks and comes to terms with Nemo taking care of himself.

“Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes.” Hugh Prather

Source:https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Two-Disc-Collectors-Albert-Brooks/dp/B00005JM02
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With it’s classical funny dialogues and realistic as well as artistic animation scenes, for the toddler’s mind it was three hours of joy, music and fun. What went through the adult mind was two central themes of taking life as it comes as well as finding oneself. On a personal front, this animation feature had set the mind thinking. Among the underlying messages and emotional undercurrents, few of the thoughts that were highlighted include taking life as it comes, with risks and all; as well as finding oneself among the responsibilities. Additionally for the parental conscience, it includes guiding the fledglings to find their own call, to watch over  them but not to hound or be too over protective in any manner.

“It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.” Lucille Ball

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Following the norms of society, culture, tradition and patterns of life; while on the journey we often neglect to take risks and allow for personal growth and betterment. At times, one gets the opportunity to rectify and take the risks to follow the dreams. Over and over again, it may not be so and one follows the set pattern, often falling into a rut and mundane existence. Instead of always living in conformity to the said rules of society; one should take the effort to attempt and risk, to do what one loves and believes in. If one does so in the true and honest manner, “Finding Nemo” would be akin to a quest of finding oneself, their dreams and hopes; not a journey in vain.

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.” Mandy Hale

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Source:https://www.amazon.com/Disney-Pixar-Finding-Nemo-Busy/dp/2764324626
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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Words Worth “Weight in Gold”

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it all into words is all that is necessary.” Margaret Cousins

As part of developing work etiquette as well as relationship skills within the workplace, there was an assignment given in one of the workshops where in each one of the ten participants were supposed to list and write anonymously the most difficult colleague to work with among them. In the second phase, the requirement was to write one quality that one could remember well about that person and anonymously the paper was handed over to them. Two weeks later, the feedback was collected about the change in the relationship with that same person. much to the surprise of the psychologist conducting the session, the dislike wasn’t there as much as before with the workshop. Besides the relationship between the colleagues as well as the workplace atmosphere had improved as per the ratings scale.

“Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.” Northrup Christiane

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It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that among the many things that man craves, one of the most common, but less talked about are “the feeling of being appreciated.” The person who delivers the daily paper, the cashier who bags the groceries in an efficient and neat manner, the waitress at the deli who brings us the lunch order quickly or even the bus driver who patiently waits for us to board the bus with the groceries, shopping and toddler in tow, are few of the many people that silently help us in the daily life. While most of their behaviour is a part of the service they provide us; it does take time and patience to do any task diligently.

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust

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While we may silently acknowledge, saying those words out loud will bring a positive feeling not only towards them but within ourselves too. One of the gifts that we humans have been blessed with is the skill of communication. What better way is there to use that and exchange words of appreciation that lifts up those around us?

“Being told something positive about yourself, whether from someone you’re close to, or a passing acquaintance, should really lift the spirits. Just the fact that someone has taken the time to let you know, should have you feeling noticed and appreciated.” Paul Bailey

While one shouldn’t wait to earn them; when one feels that what has been done for them is good, express the gratitude by sharing the feelings as kind words. It’ll go a long way to lift up the moods around for each one will never know the complete story of the other person. Do one’s bit and spread good cheer and kindness around.

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” Voltaire

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“I DIDN’T KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ME SO”

Once, a math teacher from Minnesota gave the students the following task: to make a list of the class, think what you like most about each of your classmates, and write down this quality opposite his last name. At the end of the lesson she collected lists. That was on Friday. Over the weekend, she processed the results and on Monday handed out to each student a piece of paper on which all the good things her classmates noticed in her were distributed. The guys were reading, here and there whispering was heard: “Is it all about me? I didn’t know that they love me so much.” They did not discuss the results in class, but the teacher knew that she had reached the goal. Her students believed in themselves.
A few years later one of these guys died in Vietnam. He was buried at home in Minnesota. Friends, former classmates, and teachers came to say goodbye to him. At the commemoration, his father went up to a math teacher: “I want to show you something,” he took out a folded sheet of paper folded in folds from his wallet. “It was obvious that he had been read and re-read many times. – It is found in the things of the son. He did not part with him. Do you recognize? “
He handed the paper to her. It was a list of positive qualities that classmates noticed in his son. “Thank you so much,” his mother said. – Our son so valued it.
And then an amazing thing happened: one by one, classmates took out the same sheets. Many always kept them in their wallet. Someone even kept them in their family album. One of them said: “We all kept these lists. Is it possible to throw it away? ”
– Gary Chapman, “Five Ways to a Child’s Heart

“Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life and you’ll find that you have more of it.” Ralph Marston

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Do we need these “stickers” ?

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Be a good human being, a warm hearted, affectionate person. That is my fundamental belief.”  Dalai Lama

A car ahead was moving like a turtle and not giving me way in-spite of my continuous honking! I was on brink of losing my cool when I noticed the small sticker on the car’s rear!
“Physically challenged; Please be patient.”
And that changed everything!! I immediately went calm & slowed down!! In fact, I got a little protective of the car & the driver!!! I reached home a few minutes late, but it was ok! And then it struck me. Would I have been patient if there was no sticker? Why do we need stickers to be patient with people!? Will we be more patient & kind with others if people had labels pasted on their foreheads?
Labels like “ Lost my job” , “Fighting cancer”, “Going through a bad divorce”,
“Suffering Emotional abuse “, “Lost a loved one”, “Feeling worthless”,
“Financially broken” and more like these!!
Everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about. The least we can do is to be patient ,kind & compassionate. Let us respect the Invisible Labels !!!????
Have a Great day.

-CA Devanand Jethanandani ( Read more at: https://www.caclubindia.com /forum/ let-us-respect-the-invisible-labels-461171.asp )

Source:https://vk.com/pub_mdma
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This was one of the posts that had popped up on one of my social network services. Reading the above message had set me thinking for quite some time. The underlying question that the author had asked, “Do we need “stickers” to remind us to be human, empathetic and compassionate” continues to remain unanswered. Very often when stuck in traffic jams as well as the regular traffic, the car in front of us holds labels so that the driver behind remains aware of the situation within the vehicle at front. More as a precaution, these stickers help all to remain safe and above, to practice patience and stay calm on the road. Keeping them will save a number of lives. For putting the fickle nature of man into perspective, not everyone will take heed of caution or realize that their actions will have a drastic, immediate consequence on others’ lives.

“We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity; more than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.” Charles Chaplin

Source:https://vk.com/pub_mdma
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When the society reforms to be the Utopian concept of being compassionate, patient and obeying the laws, keeping the calm and staying sane; then no reminders are needed to stay safe. To reach this, each one should respect the other, their struggles and practice a little patience laced with kindness. Although this may sound simple, this is quite a remarkable feat to achieve remembering the practical difficulties as well as the innate fickle and impatient human nature. Yet to try and fill each day with love, kindness, compassion and empathy would be good, for one never knows which day, hour or moment is going to be their respective last.

Keeping the very fragile aspect of life in mind, trying to change for the better would make the journey and time in this world more fulfilling leaving us both happy and satisfied.

“Each of us must work for his own improvement, and at the same time share a general responsibility for all humanity.” Marie Curie

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Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections

The Path that We Take

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“A trap is only a trap if you don’t know about it. If you know about it, it’s a challenge.” China Miéville

Likewise, a mistake can be an error by chance or circumstantial, but once that error becomes “by choice” it ceases to be a regrettable error but a moral transgression or “sin”.

Being human, man is prone to making numerous errors through each stage of life, from childhood to adulthood and old age. While in the early years, clear boundaries between the right and the wrong were learnt, mistakes were bound to happen. Many a time, they were overlooked primarily because of the fact that the involved was a child; with the error being more of a part of learning, misunderstood or “not knowing”.

“Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts.” – Nikki Giovanni

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As one progressed through the “teenage years” to that of youth, “errors” were considered as misguided or misjudged acts, more of immaturity or being misconstrued. While a slap to the wrist was common, society didn’t look down unless the crime was heinous in nature. Simply put, second chances were often given.

“What is done cannot be undone, but at least one can keep it from happening again.” Anne Frank

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Fast forward to the mature adult stage, mistakes are still there. Yet the approach differs from being careless to sincere regrets and attempts not to let them happen again. For when mistakes become a habit, they are no longer known as “mistakes” but as “sin”. Once caught in this trap, it’s always easy to fall again and again, on one pretext or the other. Little do we realize how harmful it is, to fall into these traps which may seem small at that time, but have the consequence of a land mine. In addition “sin” doesn’t affect us alone, but also the world around us; even for those who are indirectly involved with us. While it’s human to make mistakes; it isn’t human to continue the trend of “repeated sins”. Learning this will help avoid the boomerang that life will throw us into as a consequence of the actions that we “throw” around.

“A clean shod man carefully goes around the dirt, but once he stumbled, he dirtied his shoes, he was already less wary of it, and when he saw that his shoes were dirty, he was already boldly slapping on the mud, getting dirty more and more. Similarly, a man from his youth, while he is still pure from bad and depraved affairs, takes care and avoids everything bad, but once he makes another mistake, he thinks: beware, do not beware, everything will be the same, and it will be launched into all vices.
Do not do that. Soiled – wipe, and be more careful; sin – repent, and more beware of sin.” – L.N. Tolstoy “The Way of Life”

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Seeing through “Piper’s” Eyes

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.” Aldous Huxley

As a part of restricting “media-time” for my toddler, an allotted period of one hour is given for viewing any “smart screen” device. Being too small to understand complex cartoons, the tastes range from the all-time favourite of “Mickey Mouse”, to “Tom and Jerry” among the few that he likes. Yet once in a while, animation movies feature in the list, especially over the weekend. Last week it was “Piper”, the Oscar Animation Movie Winner (2018) which though lasted for around three minutes carries a wealth of meaning.

“Miracles happen everyday, change your perception of what a miracle is and you’ll see them all around you.” Jon Bon Jovi

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Source:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StQLE-Yzydk
Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

This short animation film revolves around the dog who when accompanying his master on the morning fishing trip, chases away a heron who tries to repeatedly snatch the worms stored as bait in the can. After the successful attempt of chasing it away, the dog watches as it flies back to its’ nest of three young kids where its’ small young ones refuse to feed on the “hard” fish and are crying for “soft” food. With understanding and compassion on its’ face, the little dog offers an entire ball of worms to the stork. A little while later, the dog is startled when the fish is being dropped on the deck by the heron. Realizing that the numerous fish caught in the heron’s beak is for them, in return for the kindness shown earlier, both the dog and the master are elated with the morning’s outcome.

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” W.B. Yeats

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Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Highlighting the concept of “humaneness”, this movie brings to light how the “real life” may actually differ for one person, when another views them as a “nuisance”. Each one of us have their own set of struggles everyday. Some will receive help, others will not. Few will use the help the right way, while the rest may waste it away. With varied sets of worries wearing one down, no one can be viewed as “bad” unless given a chance to “reform” and set things right.

Humanity does matter, for there in lies the core of man’s social co-existence and inner peace. When one opens the doors of humanity, one realizes that the “shades of gray” do colour the world and set a different picture from what was initially perceived. Each one of us need to give others’ a second chance and deal with others’ with humanness; for one day when we are in despair or in a downfall, we may need it too. As we learn to practice the art of humaneness with patience, fortitude,  love, kindness and hope; the chain of events started off will make a difference for the better in the lives of those around us too. 

“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro’ narrow chinks of his cavern.” William Blake

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Source:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbH-3291Kk0
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Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

The “Atmosphere” Around Us

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Once a wise man was asked: “How can you recognize a good man?”
The sage replied: “This is not what he says or what he seems to be, but the atmosphere that is created in his presence. That is what evidence is. For no one is able to create an atmosphere that does not belong to his spirit.”

In the daily, once-in-a-while or chance encounters in our life, there are numerous people that we meet. Like the colleague from another department whom we meet when at lunch once in a while or the acquaintance at the gym or at the coffee shop line up whose times match ours and so on. The list is endless. Yet some people stay on in our minds. While these people may have done something remarkable, friendly or not; their presence is noted by us and at times we look forward to those encounters. What makes those “chance encounters” significant ? May be its’ because we like to meet them or they remind us of ourselves or simply put, it may be because of the aura or atmosphere around them.

“People are sent into our lives to teach us things that we need to learn about ourselves.” Mandy Hale

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Each person has a presence about them, reflecting their state of mind. When one is happy, we spread the happiness. When one is constantly plagued by troubled thoughts and insecurities, the “feel” around us would be one of “worries”. Likewise this “feel around us ” is what others perceive. We reflect ourselves around.

“It is when you lose sight of yourself, that you lose your way. To keep your truth in sight you must keep yourself in sight and the world to you should be a mirror to reflect to you your image; the world should be a mirror that you reflect upon.” C. JoyBell C.

Whether is it really important to concern ourselves with ” the atmosphere” we create, is a matter of perspective. In today’s society, life has innumerable opportunities and chances. Yet by constantly blocking them with the “negative vibes” around us would cause more regrets and lost “chances” down the lane. When a person has a good feel around them, spreading the happiness; we internally learn to deal and overcome the sorrows that we hold. Life is not always a cup of tea. Even for the “most rich and bountiful” it holds true in some aspect or the other. Just as no one is perfect, a person with a really perfect life is an abstract thought or reality. Each one has their own share of difficulties; but whether we chose to carry them like a “heavy bucket” along with us or learn to use them to “water other opportunities” in our lives; is in our hands. The choice is always one’s own.

Source:https://vk.com/monahos
Source:https://vk.com/monahos
Source:https://vk.com/monahos

“Unless you learn to face your own shadows, you will continue to see them in others, because the world outside you is only a reflection of the world inside you.” Unknown

More than words or emotions, it’s the vibes around us that stay on. We need “happiness” to live life with serenity. The “vibes” we create, tempered with kind thoughts, honest words and sincere actions, goes a long way in giving the “good feel” within us. The latter is what goes around and helps us in the quest of finding as well as living with happiness.

“The journey into self-love and self-acceptance must begin with self-examination… until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.” Iyanla Vanzant

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Posted in Christian, Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Stories Around the World

Of the White Handkerchief

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

” We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

Many of us, during our school or college days, may have those “friends” who were a part of needless teasing and mocking group who had often made days miserable, troublesome and quite depressing, in those times. Fast forward years later, when emails and contact with them were kept to a bare minimum or ignored to prevent emotional setbacks, thinking of those days. Suddenly out of the blue, a phone call or an appointment with the very same people who were directly or indirectly involved then. Will it be within each one of us to forgive them or not ? The old adage, “let bygones be bygone” may sound simple; but when faced with reality, it will never be easy.

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“13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)

As life and time teaches us again and again; there would be nothing good in fostering the hatred, regrets or dark memories. While those may have happened, it’s how we move on ahead that matters.

” 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” ( Ephesians 4:31-32)

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On abetting the bad memories, we often lose out on enjoying and gaining our own happiness in life. When one part of us says, “forgive and move on” and the other holds us back with “the memories”; learn to chose the right one.

” 3 So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” ( Luke 17:3-4)

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All of us have been bad in someone’s books; which we may or mayn’t know about. When given a chance or opportunity to “do good”, do so without letting the memories of “what has happened with them” keep us from doing the right thing. We all need forgiveness from somebody at some point of our life, be it at the resent, in the past or the future. As life and the scriptures teach us, unless we learn to hold the olive branch; no one will lend us one or share the one in our hand. Above all what goes around, comes back to us; so despite all the setbacks and disappointments or dark memories of people, be kind, forgive and do good; if not for their happiness but for our happiness as well as one’s own peace of mind.

“25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:25)

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White Handkerchief

Freed from imprisonment, he returned home by train. The railway ran through their native places, and approaching its station, it would certainly pass by its native home. But the closer the house came, the more restless it became in his heart. It was hard for him to realize; how much grief he brought to his parents.
Despite the fact that the separation lasted for many years, he loved his parents and dreamed of meeting with them. The fact that he often neglected the love of his parents was even more his than the crime he committed.
He was not at all sure whether they would accept him at home or not. Therefore, he wrote home a letter in advance asking; hang a white handkerchief in the yard if parents are ready to take it. If the scarf will not …
However, the closer the house came, the stronger the heart beats. The house is still far away, but he does not take his eyes off, looks intently into the distance, to the place where people endlessly close to him live.
They are waiting for me at home, or I, the outcast, have to roam the world; for many days these thoughts have not given him peace.
As slowly as this train goes, it seems that it deliberately intensifies its suffering with its slow speed.
And in the distance they appeared at home. Soon will be his home. There is a white handkerchief in the courtyard of the house or not …
And suddenly … tears gushed from his eyes. He saw his home and yard, which was covered with large white sheets … ( Translated from Russian)

This above story may have been shared with similar versions across the world, either by word of mouth or in some forgotten book or been told an acquaintance or friends as “real stories” to those known by them. Maybe this story is one of those that emerge every few years, told new in one form or another. Even though the setting and the people may shift; the message endures. The feeling that it did happen, somewhere and at sometime helps one to believe int he spirit of forgiveness as well as the kindness, love and humaneness of man and society.

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” Bernard Meltzer

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