Tag: people

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Work

Hold the Condemnation

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“What we don’t speak burns more than the spoken words especially when the actions, expressions and emotions radiate the sense of censure as the silent unspoken disapproval.”

If we ever sit down and reflect on the number of times we had condemned or felt extreme disapproval at the actions of others or towards the circumstances, the list would be formed for most of us. The tendency to condemn or sentence another is one of the most common follies and fallacies of man. If we look on the pages of the local town news or reflect on the “hearsay” at the office, communities, neighbourhood centers and even schools, the “good news” gets less attention when compared to the “bad”. Though it is indeed important to know both, a fact that stands true is that the more disreputable the news is, the faster it spreads and believed.

“We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.” Carl Jung

 

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One of the sad realities of the social order is that people are more engaged in passing the “bad news” rather than the good happenings especially of others. Unfortunately condemning anyone unless the entire picture is known will strike back at us, especially when we are at our worse. To not condemn anyone may seem simple when said, but to actually do it is quite difficult. At some point of time, each one of us would have been at the wrong end of the receiving line, sometimes at no fault of ours or we have been grossly wronged. In such situations, it seems easier to condemn and castigate the other. However one’s real character is reflected when we hold such thoughts, emotions and actions.

 

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Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

When the wrong has been done to us, instead of engaging in harsh words or negative behaviour, feel angry but don’t feed the anger. Then acknowledge that what has been done was wrong and just move on. The harsh words, gestures or behaviour may aid one in letting off some steam for the moment, but a little later the regret, guilt and ramifications set in. The more we engage in the act of condemnation, the guilt may not bother us; yet when the day back to us as a boomerang it may be too late for the remedial actions or reparative measures. Eventually if we try, we can learn and master the art of  avoiding condemnation. If we do so, one discovers life’s simple pleasures and good moments. Above all, we learn to move with the flow, treasuring the memories of happiness, kindness and simple joys.

“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” Dale Carnegie (How to Win Friends and Influence People)

 

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, poetry, Quotes, Work

Time, Change and Addresses

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” Anatole France

Like all events that come to an eventual close, yesterday had marked the farewell of two colleagues at the workplace. While attending the meet, what came to mind was the fact that predictability and stability works only for a time. During my younger years, with both parents working, transfers and promotions went in hand with address change. Although as kids we had met many friends and been to many localities, there was always an underlying feeling in me that certain things can never be permanent or sure.

“People lose people, we lose things in our life as we’re constantly growing and changing. That’s what life is is change, and a lot of that is loss. It’s what you gain from that loss that makes life.” Thomas Jane

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Change, development and growth go in tandem in life. People change, addresses change and routine alters, yet nature remains true to its’ unpredictability. As literature and history, unfolds the story of the great conqueror of their times, Alexander the Great, the truth that we come carrying nothing and we leave empty handed too holds true. But what we do leave behind, is the legacy of our work as footprints behind. Every man will disappear, but leaving those marks for the future to learn from them, is dependent on each individual alone. One always has the choice to change, either for the better or worse. The wiser we act, think and live; the happier, serene and at peace, we will be.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” Lao Tzu

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Addresses Change

The people change addresses, move,
They part and leave and disappear,
And only an autumn grove
Is permanent, it will be here.
And only an autumn grove
Is permanent, it will be here.

What in the very end remains?
Not idle talks or strained relations, –
– A mowed field, the vast of plains,
A forest road to a train station.

The path by empty villas winds,
The homes of wealth, prestige, renown.
An old dray-cart left us behind –
A guy was driving to the town.

And this is what, for sure, stays:
The river, white in the night haze,
It is bewitched and charmed by mist,
Adorned by a camp-fire shimmer
And beacons twinkling in the midst –
All for the safety of shipping.

The people change addresses, move,
They part and leave and disappear,
And only an autumn grove
Is permanent, it will be here.
And only an autumn grove
Is permanent, it will be here.

Gennady Shpalikov

“We know what we are, but know not what we may be.” William Shakespeare

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Choices, Expectations and Opportunities

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Applications are closed.”

The above sentence, seen across recruitment pages of websites, office circulars, school bulletins and so on; have caused numerous emotions, ranging from regret, anger, hopelessness, defeat, despair to feeling of unfairness, on the events that have taken place. Yet one constant reminder through all these circumstances is the irrevocable fact that time is always short and the windows or doors are left open only for a limited period of time.

“Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them.” William Arthur Ward

 

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Reflecting back on missed chances, the reason for the delay when examined seem inconsequential then but significant now. From the excuses of lack of time, failure to read the notice, busy schedules, lack of planning and the like; all these when compared to the chances lost lead to severe regret and mental anguish for a time.

“Change can be frightening, and the temptation is often to resist it. But change almost always provides opportunities – to learn new things, to rethink tired processes, and to improve the way we work.” Klaus Schwab

As history has taught us, every one gets their fair share of opportunities, but unless we keep our eyes, ears and minds open with hearts and will brave, we will never have the option to use them. “Fortune does favour the bold.” Not because they were lucky, but they were willing to change to give a try. Contrarily always flitting around in search of greener pastures, would cause us to miss the fruit that the first garden bore. As nature always teaches us, everything happens in His time as long as we take the Chance when offered, instead of whiling away in self comfort and idleness. If one chance is missed, learn from it and don’t lose out on the next.

“A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before the change.” Earl Nightingale

 

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld
Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld
Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

The parable of “Not a Fulfilled Dream”

There lived a young man in the world. And he had a dream – to have a high-paying job, marry a beautiful woman and become famous throughout the world. Once in a frosty winter, a man was in a hurry for an interview at a well-known company.
Suddenly an elderly man fell right in front of him. The man looked at the fallen, the thought arose in his head that he was most likely drunk and did not give a hand. This helped not to be late for the scheduled meeting. But the interview was unsuccessful: the person was not taken to the desired position.
Somehow a man walked around the city on a summer evening. Noticing a troupe of street performers, he stopped to enjoy the spectacle. After the end of the action, applause rang out and people began to disperse. The young man also turned back, but someone timidly touched his shoulder. It was the main character of the play, the old woman-clown. She began to ask him about whether he liked the show, whether he was pleased with the actors. But the man did not want to lead the conversation and, disgustedly turned away, went home.
Once on a rainy evening, a man hurried home from a friend’s birthday. He was very tired, and thoughts of a fragrant bath and a cozy warm bed flashed through his head. Suddenly he heard someone muffled sobbing. This is a woman crying. She sat on a bench near the man’s house, without an umbrella. On noticing the young man, she turned to him for help. She had a family affliction. And she needed only a spiritual companion. The young man wondered, a bath and a bed appeared in front of his gaze, and he hurried into the porch.
This man had lived an unhappy life. And he died. Once in heaven, a man met his Guardian Angel. He said, “You know, I lived a very miserable and worthless life. I had three dreams, but nothing came true. It’s a pity.” “My friend,” the Guardian Angel replied, “I did everything to make all your dreams come true, but for this you only needed your hand, your eyes and your heart.”

– Do you remember a fallen man on a slippery winter road? I will now show you this picture … That person was the CEO of the company you wanted to get into. You waited dizzy career. All that is required of you is your hand.
– Do you remember the old clown who, after a street performance, came to you with questions? It was a young beauty actress who fell in love with you at first sight. You were waiting for a happy future, children, undying love. All that was required of you was your eyes.
– Do you remember the crying woman near your entrance? It was a rainy evening, and she was soaking wet from tears … It was a famous writer. She was experiencing a family crisis, and she really needed emotional support. If you helped her to warm up in her apartment, to warm herself with Soul thanks to your wise words of consolation, she would have written a book in which she would have told about this incident. The book would become known to the whole world, and you would become famous, because on the main page the author would indicate the name of the person who became the muse of this work. And all that was required of you then was your heart. You were inattentive, my friend.
The man sighed and walked along the lunar path into the star’s distance …
Listen to the world, it offers opportunities. One should not only ask for help, but also be able to accept the help and help others with dignity.

“To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions.” Benjamin Franklin

 

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, poetry, Stories Around the World

A Mother’s Love

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.” William Makepeace Thackeray

Traditionally celebrations honouring motherhood have existed since the beginning. Like the Greek cult to Cybele and the Roman festival of Hilaria, both honouring mothers’ in the form of the the mother goddess in Asia Minor area, Cybele, similar to the aspects of the the Earth-goddess Gaia, the possibly Minoan equivalent Rhea and the harvest–mother goddess Demeter. Similar Christian tradition of Mothering Sunday was started and celebrated mostly by the Church of English, Anglican parishes and the churches in the UK, wherein the fourth Sunday of Lent, exactly three weeks before Easter Day; where people would visit their mother church (baptized church or local parish church or the nearest cathedral). Of late, this celebration also marks as an occasion for honouring mothers’ and giving them presents.

“Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall; A mother’s secret hope outlives them all.” Oliver Wendell Holmes

Source:https://vk.com/monahos
Source:https://vk.com/monahos
Source:https://vk.com/monahos

However, the modern Mother’s Day celebrated in many countries as the second Sunday of May, was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother at St Andrew’s Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia. Her mother Ann Jarvis had been a peace activist, who cared for wounded soldiers on both sides of the American Civil War and created Mother’s Day Work Clubs to address public health issues. Her daughter, Anna Jarvis wanted to honor her mother by continuing the work she had started and to set aside a day to honor all mothers because she believed a mother is “the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world”. Her campaign had set off the tradition of honouring mothers’ on the second Sunday of May.

“When you look into your mother’s eyes, you know that is the purest love you can find on this earth.” Mitch Albom

Source:https://vk.com/monahos
Source:https://vk.com/monahos
Source:https://vk.com/monahos

To honour one’s mother goes beyond buying ready made cards and gifts. It involves doing something physical and creatively giving a personal touch as handmade simple gifts, writings, remembrances and memorabilia; marking this day, not as a part of global celebration, but more of a personal and emotional nature. For appreciating and honor their mothers through handwritten letters or personal efforts expressing their love and gratitude, would carry a more emotional note of acknowledge the significant effort, contribution and molding they had played in our lives.

“God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.” Rudyard Kipling

Source:https://vk.com/monahos
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Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Mothering would be in all senses physical, emotional, mental and spiritual way in which we have learned to trust, lean and rely on, in our early days. While all of us may have not had the best childhood or the perfect “mothers”, celebrating this day by paying a tribute to that special person who had moulded us, would be parallel to celebrating this special day.

“A mother’s happiness is like a beacon, lighting up the future but reflected also on the past in the guise of fond memories.” Honore de Balzac

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Source:https://vk.com/monahos

The yellow moon is sleeping behind the clouds.
I look into the sky, as if in a dark forest.
Somewhere among the stars mom got lost,
And she looks with love at me from heaven.

Somewhere among the stars mom got lost,
And she looks with love at me from heaven.

How many years have passed, I’m still the same:
I never expect miracles from fate.
In the most difficult hour I have a mom,
And she looks with love at me from heaven.

In the most difficult hour I have a mom,
And she looks with love at me from heaven.

If my heart is both melancholy and autumn,
I drive myself from the usual places:
Mom will ask the Lord for me,
After all, she looks with love at me from heaven.

Mom will ask the Lord for me,
Because she looks with love at me from heaven.

Andrey Vasilyev

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
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Source:https://vk.com/veruj
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Source:https://vk.com/monahos

 

Posted in Daily, Life, Reflections

Time for “Own”

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Aristotle

With the current pace of today, finding “alone time” takes a backseat. Multiple reasons can be attributed to the lack of “me-time”. Professional, person or family and even community obligations always take up a few more precious seconds. Yet once in a while, it feels wonderful to leave everything to get some quiet time.

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Research has shown that at least ten minutes per day to indulge in self time really helps. Speaking from a personal viewpoint, taking time for one, be it a whole day or couple of hours, depends on one’s choice. A few minutes of indulging in one’s personal interests to a whole day of the same; should both serve the same purpose. Of being happy and finding a sense f calmness and peace of living in the daily melee.

Be sure to leave at least one day for yourself. Get up when you want.
Take your time to drink fragrant mint tea or aromatic coffee.
Leisurely walk. Confused tracks among the favorite streets of the city.
Or maybe spend the whole day at home, in soft beloved pajamas,
leafing through the pages of your favorite book.
At last, to do what one had long dreamed of.
Pick up a camera, and maybe a brush and paint.
Bake a cake for a new recipe. Learn the first words in French.
Just live the day the life you dream about.
Just be yourself. Just be happy …
Anna Koryagova

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, poetry, Reflections

To Curb the Unrest

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” Dale Carnegie

Some days, as we head about the daily grind or schedule, a sudden gush of unhappiness may slice the feeling of joy. The sudden unrest, feeling of uneasiness and irritation often stems when we start looking at our lives, through the shades of others’ lives. Comparison is a two edged vice, for when done in the right way it may help us grow and aim for the higher objective. Yet when approached and viewed by the wrong measures, it causes severe discontentment blotting out the regular peace of our lives.

“Many people lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness.” Pearl S. Buck

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To be content and at the same time, to try to grow for the betterment of one, is a delicate art, which when learnt can be an aid to achieving the simple joys of live. Being content is a feeling that one often fails to find i the modernity and complexity of this world. The sad truth is that things are really simple. For life has many joys and pleasures across its’ time, although it may seem murky from far. Learning to delight in the simple joys of life, helps us find and fulfill the purpose of our very existence.

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” Lao Tzu

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Contentment

It was spring but it was summer I wanted; the warm days and the great outdoors.
It was summer but it was autumn I wanted; the colourful leaves and the cool dry air.
It was autumn but it was winter I wanted; the beautiful snow and the joy of the holiday season.
It was winter but it was spring I wanted; the warmth and the blossoming of nature.
I was a child but it was adulthood I wanted; the freedom and the respect.
I was twenty but it was thirty I wanted; to be mature and sophisticated.
I was middle-aged but it was twenty I wanted; the youth and the free spirit.
I was retired but it was middle-age that I wanted; the presence of mind without limitations.
My life was over but I never got what I wanted.

Source: “Calm My Anxious Heart” by Linda Dillow

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Quotes, Stories Around the World, Work

Choose the “Focus”

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.” Paulo Coelho

As the new academic school year starts; curriculum is changed, new texts are bought as well depending on the school year, children are excited to join the tryouts for new school teams or plans are being made for the choice of subjects and career opportunities. During this entire process, the young minds are trying to focus on what they want to do and how they want to do, in the next academic session. Just like in the modern lives, these young minds are learning the art to focus and more importantly to “focus right”.

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” Aristotle Onassis

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Fast forward to the days of an adult, “finding the focus” has been the daily mantra or mode as we go about the grind. At the work arena, set the priorities, targets and goals, and focus which ones would be achieved. At the home front, one focuses on prioritizing the “daily task list” and deciding which work needs to be done first and at the right time is an art learned well over practice, patience and time.

“Instead of focusing on that circumstances that you cannot change – focus strongly and powerfully on the circumstances that you can.” Joy Page

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During the “focus” , many things need to be done in the right manner, from finding the right direction, deciding what to shift our mind, balancing to find the realism of the circumstances and above all, choosing to move forward in the right way. “Which way is the right one?” That would be answered best when we learn from time, experience with the inherent knowledge, wisdom and perceptions that lie within us. The “right focus” is as equal as “finding the focus” for by targeting the “lone black dot”, we may miss the “white landscape” that awaits us to make the change.

“Your destiny is to fulfill those things upon which you focus most intently. So choose to keep your focus on that which is truly magnificent, beautiful, uplifting and joyful. Your life is always moving toward something.” Ralph Marston

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The black dot

One day, a professor entered his classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. They all waited anxiously at their desks for the exam to begin.
The professor handed out the exams with the text facing down, as usual. Once he handed them all out, he asked the students to turn over the papers.
To everyone’s surprise, there were no questions–just a black dot in the center of the paper. The professor, seeing the expression on everyone’s faces, told them the following: “I want you to write about what you see there.” The students, confused, got started on the inexplicable task.
At the end of the class, the professor took all the exams, and started reading each one of them out loud in front of all the students.
All of them, with no exception, defined the black dot, trying to explain its position in the center of the sheet. After all had been read, the classroom silent, the professor started to explain:
“I’m not going to grade you on this, I just wanted to give you something to think about. No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot – and the same thing happens in our lives. However, we insist on focusing only on the black dot – the health issues that bother us, the lack of money, the complicated relationship with a family member, the disappointment with a friend. The dark spots are very small when compared to everything we have in our lives, but they are the ones that pollute our minds. Take your the eyes away from the black dots in your lives. Enjoy each one of your blessings, each moment that life gives you. Be happy and live a life filled with love!”

“Focus is a matter of deciding what things you’re not going to do.” John Carmack

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Source:https://vk.com/public75290000