Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Quotes, Reflections, Work

Language or Jargon

“It’s a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.” Franklin P. Jones

Living in a house with teenagers still in the family, one becomes an expert with short forms and abbreviations. In fact, one of the advantages (or disadvantages) of messaging and texting in the present day, is the use of less words, more of “emojis” and short forms that enable us to “save time”. Ironically what has happened is that we have forgotten how to spell correctly, speak in complete sentences or deliver a message without sounding garbled or hunting for the right words midway.

“When you lose a language and a language goes extinct, it’s like dropping a bomb on the Louvre.” Michael Krauss

Running through the official emails as well as personal ones’, the distinct difference in the style of writing, expression of words as well as use of “emoticons” highlight the official from the personal. Yet sometimes on rereading the mail, one has to very often guess the meaning behind the emoticons. Shifting between “smileys” and “dancing girls”, everything can be classified broadly into good or bad. In a way, words like adjectives, adverbs and similes have become almost extinct. Looking at the initial days of man, I guess we are back into the language of “expressions, hand signals, sounds, mono-, bi-or tri-syllables and garbles” just like the primitive ancestors.

“Losing the language means losing the culture. We need to know who we are because it makes a difference in who our children are.” Dottie LeBeau

Moving with the times is important. Hence striking a balance between the “cool” and “official language ” is a must, for us to convey complete and whole messages, before we lose out completely on our own sense of language, speech and words.

“At any one time language is a kaleidoscope of styles, genres and dialects.” David Crystal

“… once upon a time there were synonyms: “good, beautiful, valuable, positive, outstanding, excellent, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, lovely, seductive, wonderful, cute, amazing, stunning, fantastic, magnificent, grandiose, irresistible attractive, fascinating, enticing, attractive, incomparable, unique, enticing, amazing, entrancing, divine “, and so on and so forth. And what? – left only “cool.” Less often – “cool” … ”  by T. Thick in “Hope and support”

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Stories Around the World

“Doing Good”, From Within

“How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world.” William Shakespeare (The Merchant of Venice)

One of the feelings that man is silently on the look out for, is the feeling of being  loved, recognized or appreciated. One tries seeking it many places, known or unknown to them. When one strives to do something good, kind or be generous by actions, words or thoughts; one secretly harbours the feeling and hope that these would be appreciated, whether those feelings come by knowingly or unknowingly.

“Know you not that a good man does nothing for appearance sake, but for the sake of having done right?” Epictetus 

What one often forgets is that, “doing good” doesn’t come with a tag that says “thank me” but with a hidden code that reveals how much comes from truly within. We can do good or be kind; because we want to or, just because we hope that some one would do it for us when we need it or, for some one of our own who may need it. Whatever the reason may be, unless we do “good” from deep within our hearts, all these would be in vain. For the real meaning of “doing good” would be lost, if it never began from within first.

“Be happy, noble heart, be blessed for all the good thou hast done and wilt do hereafter, and let my gratitude remain in obscurity like your good deeds.” Alexandre Dumas(The Count of Monte Cristo )

One woman baked two tortillas every morning. One for family members, and the second, additional, for the casual passerby. The woman always put the second flat cake on a window sill, and any person passing by could take it. Every day, when a woman laid a cake on the windowsill, she offered a prayer for her son, who had left the house to look for a better life. For months, the mother knew nothing about her boy and always prayed for his safe return.

Soon she noticed that a hunchback came every day and took the second cake. But instead of the words of gratitude, he only muttered: “The evil that you do remains with you, and the good returns to you!” and went on his way. This went on day after day. Not receiving the expected words of gratitude, the woman felt deceived. “Every day this hunchback says the same thing! But what does he mean?”
And one day, being especially irritated, she decided to end this. “I’ll get rid of this nasty hunchback!” She said to herself and added poison to the second tortilla. But when she was about to put her on the windowsill, the woman’s hands trembled. “What am I doing?” – she thought. And immediately threw the poisonous tortilla into the fire, cooked another one and put it on the windowsill. The hunchback, as usual, took the cake, muttering the constant words: “The evil that you do remains with you, and the good returns to you!” and continued on his way, unaware of the emotions raging inside the woman.

That same night someone knocked on the door. When the woman opened it, she saw her son standing in the doorway. He looked awful: hungry, thin, weak, in torn clothes. “Mom, it’s just a miracle that I’m here! I was just a mile from home, but I was so hungry that I fainted. I probably would have died, but just then some old hunchback passed by and he was so kind to me that he gave a whole cake. And he said that this was his only meal for the whole day, but he sees that I need her more than he does. ” When the mother heard these words, her face turned pale and she leaned to the door so as not to fall. She remembered the poisoned morning cake. After all, if she had not burned it in the fire, her own son would have died! It was then that the woman understood the meaning of the words: “The evil that you do remains with you, and the good returns to you!”

Moral of the story: Strive to do good always, even if no one appreciates it now.

“Every time you do a good deed you shine the light a little farther into the dark. And the thing is, when you’re gone that light is going to keep shining on, pushing the shadows back.” Charles de lint

Posted in Life, poetry, Reflections

Essence of Man

The other day, we had heard some disturbing news of a close friend of the family. Although we had kept in regular contact, little did we realize that time and circumstance can be so cruel at times. Disease, disaster and death; these events are never in our control, although man tries his best to master them.

The events of yesterday brought to mind, the words of Yevgeny Yevtushenko’s poem, “People”. Each of our lives is like a map, with a course, evidence and impressions that we leave behind when we finally end our time. While time is never in our control, the route that we take along with the diversions, destinations and rest stops is ours alone. Decision, choices and changes are always in our hands, hence using them wisely is what we can and should do.

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” Barack Obama

People

No people are uninteresting.
Their fate is like the chronicle of planets.

Nothing in them in not particular,
and planet is dissimilar from planet.

And if a man lived in obscurity
making his friends in that obscurity
obscurity is not uninteresting.

To each his world is private
and in that world one excellent minute.

And in that world one tragic minute
These are private.

In any man who dies there dies with him
his first snow and kiss and fight it goes with him.

There are left books and bridges
and painted canvas and machinery
Whose fate is to survive.

But what has gone is also not nothing:
by the rule of the game something has gone.
Not people die but worlds die in them.

Whom we knew as faulty, the earth’s creatures
Of whom, essentially, what did we know?

Brother of a brother? Friend of friends?
Lover of lover?

We who knew our fathers
in everything, in nothing.

They perish. They cannot be brought back.
The secret worlds are not regenerated.

And every time again and again
I make my lament against destruction.

Yevgeny Yevtushenko

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World, Work

Communication Fillers and Gaps

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” George Bernard Shaw

One of the recently circulated video on my social network pages, shows a social experiment in which four queues of employees are made to stand, with a message being conveyed as a sequence of actions likened to starting a motorbike. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH_7F3KI8yg)

Unfortunately as the message, in the form of sequence of actions, were passed on, minor alterations were being added on, which eventually resulted in the last person of the queue mimicking the actions that were no where close to the initial sequence or message that the first person had initiated. Although the video may seem hilarious at the end, on reflecting later, the lack of communication as well as the errors in the message being conveyed, understood and repeated are alarming.

“Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.” Paul J. Meyer

At every walk in life, communication is what brings man apart from other living species. Knowing how to convey ideas, bring about changes as well discuss and share various aspects makes human life meaningful, interesting and enriched. Yet when thoughts are shared wrong, with each one modifying the truth as per one’s short-lived understanding, thinking or viewpoint, the real sequence of events gets distorted, destroying the harmony and peaceful thinking.

“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” Peter Drucker

Each time we come across any information, words or actions, thinking about them before e repeat them elsewhere would go a long way in maintaining one’s own peace and harmony. The process of adding one’s own bit to the real sequence of events, when not understood the right way, can do significant harm than plausible.

Posted in Family and Society, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

To Care and Nurture

“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.” Margaret Mead

During my early years of university, attending classes and taking care of my infant was difficult. Unwilling to put my infant son in a daycare so early, I had turned to my parents and in laws for help. Besides stepping in completely and covering during my classes and training schedules, as my child grew under their care; their happiness and joy were marked to be seen.

“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” James Keller

One of the oldest concepts of family has been their since civilization. Besides belonging to a fold, family helps and takes care of each other. The sociological concept of “nurture” has been widely studied and debated with the “nature” concept. Real life examples are present in our daily encounters, once we look around and observe.

“To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.”
Unknown

Caring for someone or nurturing them helps not the nurtured but also the nurturer. Besides giving new dimensions to focus on, the health, happiness as well as life for both becomes more meaningful and joyous. On the days that one in bone-tired, dejected, weary and worried; taking care of someone decreases the problems and gives the fuel to move on. Caring for others brings many closer, not just relationships by blood but also fragile relationships which become stronger out of the mutual love, respect and care for the other.

“I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance.” Pablo Casals

An old fox lived its’ last days in the zoo. Old, decrepit and shabby. When a couple of young foxes were left without their mother. And the young foxes were hooked to the old fox, as they were left without a mother. The decrepit fox began to take care of the little ones. The caring instincts were involved. And the old fox became younger, fluffy and energetic. She gained new youth and health; lived very well for several years, until the foxes grew up and became independent. (Source: A.Kiryanova)

Posted in Daily, Life, Quotes, Reflections

Over the Years

“Another adventure filled year awaits you. Welcome it by celebrating your birthday with pomp and splendor. Wishing you a very happy and fun-filled birthday!”

“Count not the candles…see the lights they give. Count not the years, but the life you live. Wishing you a wonderful time ahead. Happy birthday.”

While writing or receiving birthday messages to friends, family and colleagues; one is often reminded of how fragile age, time and life are. In the quest in our life for happiness, two of the many things that never stop are time and age. Growing old is never easy for one is not only reminded of the passing time and unfulfilled dreams but also of the follies and lost opportunities of each year.

“Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.” Bob Hope

We often wait for happiness round the corner, yet what comes is age. In fact old age approaches us without knocking but walking on stepping over the so called hurdles in her path. Initially we dread growing old, but later when we learn to take it as it comes and move ahead accordingly, each year becomes a gift of God with knowledge and wisdom being imparted at the right time.

“Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.” Fred Astaire

No one knows how long we will or how will we be then. Life is indeed a gift, precious and precarious. Let each drop from the cup be drained savoring the taste and learning to embrace the heat, bitterness, sweet, salt or cold as it comes, without spilling or cribbing along the way for long. Living life on earth with strong roots of mental, emotional and spiritual presence is important in order to make the physical entity that we have remain happy, satisfied and at peace within.

“We have to be able to grow up. Our wrinkles are our medals of the passage of life. They are what we have been through and who we want to be.” Lauren Hutton

Posted in Daily, Personal Musings, Quotes, Reflections

To Allow Ourselves

One of the persistent feelings that runs down every couple of months is the “feeling of being trapped, compressed and stuck” into something that we want not to be a part of. In those occasions certain gentle reminders will help us get back into the grove of being content and at peace with ourselves.

“The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself.” Lao Tzu

Let ourselves to be wrong once in a while. It doesn’t really matter what others think about what we know or don’t, or what we said or didn’t. For the record, mistakes happen to all. No one can be truly accurate or right in their known field or what others expect us to know. No can be the “knowledge holder” of everything. At times, we tend to go wrong and so be it.

Once in a while, get out of the rush. Do make a slight change in the daily routine. Routines are lovely for they set things going and offer least surprises and roadblocks. Yet every now and then, break out, set a change and be surprised.

Hold the thoughts, words and anger when sorely tried. Try to allow ourselves to not respond to provocations. Certain things or events once done, can’t be easily undone, deleted or reversed. The impact and consequences may be near or in the future. Once damaged, not everything can be reset. Why then attempt to test those waters, when one knows that sharks will bite.

“To help yourself, you must be yourself. Be the best that you can be. When you make a mistake, learn from it, pick yourself up and move on.” Dave Pelzer

Avoid the trend to not make excuses, neither do anything to prove ourselves or when strongly persuaded. Regret is time lost. Once the sequence of events are set in motion, regret then or later will not revert the sequence or consequence.

Allow ourselves to let go and walk away. Step aside, away from those who are in the way or from those who resent us for the sake of it. Actions sidestepped are better for the peace. Even if we initiate the side step; more than the ego being trampled on, the mind will be at ease.

Being different is alright and fine. One doesn’t have try to fit into any categories, frames, stereotypes, typologies and types. Neither does one have to justify the expectations set by others. At the end of the day, we have to be comfortable in our own skin and mould.

Try not to run ahead or behind. Be at par with the speed of life and time. Just don’t run. At times, waiting for the train till it comes at the right station crossing or turn may be better to start going in the right direction again.

Above all, allow ourselves to be just ourselves.

“Be yourself, but always your better self.” Karl G. Maeser