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Christian, Daily, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections, Work

Dealing With that Itch

Posted on April 17, 2019January 29, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

With spring season around and evening walks are in the to-do list, one may have encountered the occasional sting or bite when on or after the walk. When the mosquito bites or insect stings, the deadly red mark starts forming in the skin. There are few distinct pictures that follow. First the yell or howl, followed by the distinct smack (almost always missing the culprit) with the application of a balm to soothe the pain. Left alone, the bite slowly settles and passes after a while. On the other hand, once the sting appears and one enters the itch mode, then the bite is extensively combed, scratched and the blister (in the place of the little red spot) is born. Consequently the sting stays, the irritation grows and the pain doesn’t recede. Worse is the infection and the bleeding that then follows. Being a parent to a toddler, one must be familiar with this cycle.

“Without forgiveness life is governed by… an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.” Roberto Assagioli

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Yet what is familiar, is the “feeling of the itch” is something similar to resentment. How we deal with resentment falls into similar patterns of an insect bite. Resented when treated in the right manner, ceases to sting; but when scratched, makes the whole mood go down. When dealt with an insult; if one tries to forgive and forget it, then it gradually goes out of the hearts. On self -dissecting it and chronic dwelling on it similar to self-persecution or self-pity; then the insult becomes stronger and deadlier.

“Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment.” Dale Carnegie

Source:https://vk.com/we_live_a

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Dealing with offense is not easy. True that we must reflect on the events that had happened and words or actions exchanged. But one doesn’t have to mark it against oneself and fester it, to the point of destroying the self. Instead hand over those feelings to the wind, for then we become more wiser and gracious. For when things are left to His Will, life becomes more sweet and simple. This is a very good skill that is learned over the course of time.

“Let go of resentment for it will hold you back. Do not worry about what could have been, what is to come is what matters.” Leon Brown

Take the burden that we can handle and the rest, hand them over to Him and let His Will be done. The same with resentment. Yes one was offended but one doesn’t have to carry it around and ruin the only life that we have been blessed with. Let things figure out eventually in His Time and then we discover that what was felt big, bad and ugly initially will seem inconsequential in the long run in His Time.

“The final proof of greatness lies in being able to endure criticism without resentment.” Elbert Hubbard

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Random Thoughts, Reflections

Paradoxes of Time

Posted on April 15, 2019February 15, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Silentium est aureum”

Over the weekend, with the entire family in the neighbourhood; it was quite refreshing and entertaining to exchange the various events, stories and happenings over the past few months. Listening to my cousins as they had regaled us the best parts of their college life; it brought back the memories of the younger days. From the days of classes, fun, music, dance, parties, sleepovers and all nighters to the present day of work, colleagues, time schedules, planners, pending household work and rambunctious toddlers running around the house; brings to mind the sharp contrast between the two lives. While in the younger days one had longed for the company of friends and fun; the older we grow, one longs for the occasional or frequent peace, quiet and solitude for a while. As the famous Latin proverb goes; Silence is indeed golden.

Source:https://vk.com/pub_mdma

“We sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken a lifetime to learn. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. This is the great paradox.” Nicholas Sparks

Time has a huge list of paradoxes. Remember the younger days of sleep overs, gate crashing parties, Goobers, lemonade sprees, stuffing one self with kachoris, pizzas and the long list of the “forbidden” as well as movie nights over the weekends. These days, although one has the freedom to enjoy food, friends, parties, music and entertainment to the maximum, without the constant nagging and laying down of the rules; when in excess life feels mundane.

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Over time, as our personal trends, habits and favorites change, alter or get refined; certain relationships tend to get overlooked. The ships that once had anchored us, may be lost due to bad navigation or the storms that we encounter. One might put them down to “growing up” or the transition phase. Unfortunately when caught up in the silence later; the feeling of guilt, regret and remorse run through as common thread leaving behind fond memories laced with guilt.

“If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.” Frances Hodgson Burnett

To not let the set-down of remorse, guilt and incompleteness happen, one has to only look around and view the world from far. To enjoy the pleasures of nature, we need both the new and the old. The presence of the ever present flowers, plants and the green with comfort of our friends, family and good shoes making our walk through life more comfortable and memorable. To enjoy the garden, one needs both company and solace at the right time. Learning to put the situation to use at the given time is one of the arts that life has taught us and will keep on teaching us through its’ own time.

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Daily, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Broken but Spirited

Posted on April 13, 2019January 25, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.” Robert Green Ingersoll

As a part of the quasquicentennial (125th) anniversary celebration in the work place, there were numerous discourses and seminars on the rise of the institute from the very early days. The common thread running through all, was the perseverance through struggles, defeat and trials. As history and nature have taught us, in order to survive, it’s not about being big or strong, but adaptable, brave and courage to continue the struggle, live and grow. For more evidence, the survival of the mammals through the Ice Age, rise and overthrow of civilization, survival of the Holocaust and the two great Wars as well as struggle for independence from the colonial and civil unrest are broad examples to learn from.

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” Henry Ford

As we introspect our lives and those around us, the moment we lose hope we fail. True that there will be days when we are drained of all hope. Times like those call for rest and to draw strength and courage from the lives of the past, present and those around us, undergoing their share of sorrows but staying strong. The rainbows of life don’t happen on sunny days; but after downpours and when we chose to withstand the rain and seek for the surprises that nature give us. All of us have our own worth, to keep going despite all the pitfalls; rest, draw courage, refresh the hope and dream, all the while persistently going ahead and keeping the belief in oneself strong and practical against all odds.

Source:https://vk.com/we_live_a

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

“A popular speaker started off a seminar by holding up a $20 bill. A crowd had gathered to hear him speak. He asked, ‘Who would like this $20 bill?’Many hands went up. He said, ‘I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.’ He crumpled the bill up. He then asked, ‘Who still wants it?’ All hands were still raised. ‘Well,’ he replied, ‘What if I do this?’ Then he dropped the bill on the ground and stomped on it with his shoes. He picked it up, and showed it to the crowd. The bill was all crumpled and dirty. ‘Now who still wants it?’ All the hands still went up.
‘My friends, I have just showed you a very important lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, life crumples us and grinds us into the dirt. We make bad decisions or deal with poor circumstances. We feel worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special – Don’t ever forget it!’

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Photography Art, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Stepping Out of the Game

Posted on April 10, 2019January 25, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.” John Burroughs

There lived two families in the neighborhood. In one family there was silence and grace, while in the second there were endless quarrels, showdowns etc. And then one day the wife said to her husband, “Why don’t you find out how they next door, turn out to live without scandals.” The husband went and hid behind their common fence and watched. As the neighbor washes the threshold, a bucket of water stands next to her and then her husband walked. Inadvertently he hooked his foot on the bucket and overturned it. “Well, it will start now,” thinks the neighbor behind the fence. Instead he heard the wife as she apologized to her husband that she had put a bucket of water in the way. And her husband also apologized to her for he had walked without looking and also added work to his beloved. In general, they apologized to each other, cleaned up everything together and went into the house. And the hapless neighbor came home in bewilderment and told his wife: “You know, my wife it is strange, we try to do everything right and have endless scandals, whereas they are both to blame and everything is amicable”.

“At the end of the day, you are solely responsible for your success and your failure. And the sooner you realize that, you accept that, and integrate that into your work ethic, you will start being successful. As long as you blame others for the reason you aren’t where you want to be, you will always be a failure.” Erin Cummings

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Famously and colloquially known as “the blame game”, we all have been a part of it at some point in our life. From the high school days of incomplete assignment, low grades or addled performances to the college or university days, leading on to the work front; assigning of blame to someone else’s shoulders have been done consciously or subconsciously.

“Everyone’s quick to blame the alien.” Aeschylus

Like the spider’s web, once we get caught in this game; we tend to apply the same tactics in all the spheres of our life. Consequently the price paid is heavy, for not just effort but energy, work, relationships and above all, time is wasted. To get the trend down, a few quick steps would aid in sorting out and settling the mess.

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

“No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for… reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration.” Casey Stengel

When stuck in the mess or being falsely targeted for the work; first take a deep breath. Second were we in any way wrong, either while doing the task or assigning the task. If yes, take corrective measures; if not, still the option is to settle the scene and correct the wrong. Third and very practical of all, let bygones be bygones. Learn form the past, but don’t dwell too much on it, to spoil the pleasant surprises of the future.

“Don’t find fault, find a remedy.” Henry Ford

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

To Just Stay

Posted on April 7, 2019February 21, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” Maya Angelou

One of the reasons’ why man needs his social surroundings be it family, friends or community is largely based on his ability to love and be loved. Here the aspect of love doesn’t focus solely on the relationship between two people, but between a network of people whose happiness are directly or indirectly influenced and dependent on the other. For “love” encompasses kindness, understanding, mutual respect, forgiveness and empathy.

“Love is a friendship set to music.” Joseph Campbell

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Source:https://vk.com/welive_a

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

One never realizes the intricate role that he or she may play in the life of the other. While it may seem trivial or a passing touch for one, it drastically change the life for the other. Learning to be gracious and kind is one of the facets of love. Love isn’t simply declared by showering of gifts, spending time with only those one knows or granting favours sometimes beyond one’s reach. Love also includes just being there and listening.

“The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” Albert Ellis

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

While doing the preparatory lessons on the aspect of biblical love, I had read an encounter based on events in the hospital room of a retired service man. What struck my mind on reading “Love Stays” was the fact that “human love” for the fellow being goes beyond boundaries, imagination and guidelines set by man. Even though for one it may be trivial and require very little effort and time on their part, for the other it would be a life changing moment. Choosing to spend our time with love, kindness and empathy would go a long way, especially when one knows that life has a boomerang effect, when we least expect it.

“And now these three abide: faith, hope, love; but love is more of them.”
(1 Corinthians 13:13)

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Love Stays

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. “Your son is here,” she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened. Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man’s limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement. The nurse brought a chair so that the marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night, the young marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man’s hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital – the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.
Now and then, she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night. Along towards dawn, the old man died. The marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited. Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her. “Who was that man?” he asked. The nurse was startled, “He was your father,” she answered. “No, he wasn’t,” the marine replied. “I never saw him before in my life.”
“Then why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?”
“I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn’t here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.”
The next time someone needs you … just be there. Stay.

Note: This is not a true story, but an incredible work of fiction written by Roy Popkin in 1964. It was published under the title “Night Watch” in the September 1965 edition of Reader’s Digest. Due to its highly emotional pull, the story has been re-circulated online since the 1990s under a variety of titles such as “Just Stay” and “He Needed a Son.”

“Everyone has a purpose in life and a unique talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.” Kallam Anji Reddy

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Source:https://vk.com/comeshome

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Source:https://vk.com/comeshome

Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Reflections, Stories Around the World

From One’s Perspective

Posted on April 6, 2019January 19, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

The Minister travelled for days by train and car and boat to one of the furthest islands in the nation. As he surveyed the bleak but inspiring landscape, he turned to a local villager and said: “You’re very remote here, aren’t you?” She responded: “Remote from what?”

The scenario of the glass being half empty to half full, or the grass being green on the other side; have been faced by most of us at some point of time or the other. The common thread of thinking running through these moments is “our perception and the reality of what happens”.

“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.” Aldous Huxley

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Perspective has been one of the concepts, since the early days, which has been studied and attempts have been made to quantify or qualitatively assess it by mathematicians, philosophers, scientists as well as artists. Despite all the theories proposed, research as well as insight; till this day perception doesn’t exist by itself but leans heavily on our innate beliefs, opinion, experience and knowledge.

“No man has the right to dictate what other men should perceive, create or produce, but all should be encouraged to reveal themselves, their perceptions and emotions, and to build confidence in the creative spirit.” Ansel Adams

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

While one’s perspective may be right for some, it may be wrong for the other. Then the question arises, how do we draw the limits or the line? The practical aspect is possible as long as we ground ourselves in reality and lean on the principle of “to do unto others as one would want to be done unto oneself”. Simply put, as long as we learn to treat others with mutual respect, equality, freedom, justice, kindness and understanding; all the perspectives would reach the common target and purpose of doing good.

“What I need is perspective. The illusion of depth, created by a frame, the arrangement of shapes on a flat surface. Perspective is necessary. Otherwise there are only two dimensions. Otherwise you live with your face squashed up against a wall, everything a huge foreground, of details, close-ups, hairs, the weave of the bed-sheet, the molecules of the face. Your own skin like a map, a diagram of futility, crisscrossed with tiny roads that lead nowhere. Otherwise you live in the moment. Which is not where I want to be.” Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Daily, Random Thoughts, Stories Around the World, Work

To Believe It or Not !!

Posted on April 1, 2019March 3, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

” “Coca-Cola is launching three flavours of its Zero Sugar brand featuring avocado, sourdough and charcoal.”

Imagine the consequences of the taste buds and the senses after an episode of experimentation with these flavours. And here’s how the flavours were described.
• Coca-Cola Zero Sugar Avocado – Forget smashed or blended, this new flavour infuses the subtle, creamy undertones of amazing avocado with that great Coca-Cola Zero Sugar taste. Both delicious and nutritious, this gorgeously green pick-me-up is guaranteed to make your socials grow.
• Coca-Cola Zero Sugar Charcoal – Cleanse, refresh and revitalise with a Zero Sugar supercharge. Loaded with activated charcoal, creating a smooth and rich flavour, this miracle in-a-can pairs-perfectly with your favourite Instagram filter.
• Coca-Cola Zero Sugar Sourdough – Crafted with care, superbly sour and bursting with fermented flavours. Packed with crumbly goodness – so you can start the day in the right way with a mouth-wateringly good snap of this wild-yeast infused Zero Sugar treat. “

For the readers of the above news on the Daily Mirror online version last year, had resulted in a frenzy of whether this was true or was it an “All Fools Day Prank”. Being mixed with the “true news” of the society, food, travel and living sections; it wasn’t easy to ascertain whether one was going to really taste avocado, sourdough or charcoal in their drink.

“The first of April, some do say
Is set apart for All Fool’s Day;
But why the people call it so
Nor I, nor they themselves, do know,
But on this day are people sent
On purpose for pure merriment.” (Poor Robin’s Almanac, 1790)

Photo by Bich Tran on Pexels.com

Photo by Oliver Wiesenberg on Pexels.com

Source:https://vk.com/we_live_a

One of the days dreaded the most, especially at work, school or neighbourhood, is the first day of April, where the day is pretty confusing for each hour goes by the wait of “being pranked”. Each day this year, from social media to official meetings, one is always second guessing everything. As for pranksters, its’ a day of freedom, fun and revelry.

Yet when the prank is actually the truth, one may feel a bit razzed. For instance people who celebrate their birthdays on April First have always been questioned, even though they are speaking the truth. Remember the headlines that state “the African continent can split into two” after an enormous crack appears. Well, it’s actually true for a large crack, several miles long and growing accompanied with seismic activity had appeared in south-western Kenya causing the Nairobi-Narok highway to collapse. Researchers have attributed this to activity between the tectonic plates in Earth’s crust and upper mantle. Today the rift still continues to grow and an expert says it’s evidence that the continent is breaking apart.

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source:https://vk.com/pub_mdma

Yet news like this, practical jokes and hoaxes especially on All Fools’ Day or April Fools’ Day spreads mass confusion (which was or wasn’t the purpose all along). Why this particular day ? The origin behind this day is quite interesting, with various versions and tales trending around the world.

As per Geoffrey’s Chaucer’s “The Cantebury Tales”, New Years’ Day used to be celebrated around April. With the Gregorian Calendar (1582, France) being introduced by Pope Gregory XIII with January 1st to be celebrated as “New Years’ Day.” For those who refused to support this,; they were mocked and sent on fools’ errands on April 1st.

Another disputed association between April 1st and foolishness also comes from Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales (1392). In the “Nun’s Priest’s Tale”, a vain cock Chauntecleer is tricked by a fox on “Syn March bigan thritty dayes and two.” While readers apparently understood this line to mean “32 March”, i.e. April 1, it wasn’t clear if this was the correct inference. The scholars of today, believe that there is a copying error in the extant manuscripts and that Chaucer actually wrote, “Syn March was gon.” Then the passage would have originally meant 32 days after March ( i.e. May 2nd), the anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia (1381).

French poet Eloy d’Amerval (1508) had referred to “a poisson d’avril” (April fool, literally “Fish of April”), possibly the first reference to the celebration in France. In France, January 1st as New Year’s Day became common only by the mid-16th century and the date was adopted officially as per the Edict of Roussillon (1564). Likewise Flemish poet Eduard de Dene (1539) had written about a nobleman who sent his servants on foolish errands on April 1st.

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

The origin of April Fools’ Day is different in Netherlands, where it’s often attributed to the Dutch victory at Brielle in 1572, where the Spanish Duke Álvarez de Toledo was defeated (“Op 1 april verloor Alva zijn bril”). Another citation in history was on April 1, 1698 when several people were tricked into going to the Tower of London to “see the Lions washed”.

Few authors have expressed the belief that the origins of April Fool’s Day may go back to the Genesis flood narrative, although this hasn’t been verified by Biblical scholars or historians. As written by the Harper’s Weekly cartoonist Bertha R. McDonald (1908), ” Authorities gravely back with it to the time of Noah and the ark. The London Public Advertiser of March 13, 1769, printed: “The mistake of Noah sending the dove out of the ark before the water had abated, on the first day of April, and to perpetuate the memory of this deliverance it was thought proper, whoever forgot so remarkable a circumstance, to punish them by sending them upon some sleeveless errand similar to that ineffectual message upon which the bird was sent by the patriarch”.

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Festivals celebrating a day for pranks has been there since the early Roman times, where “Hilaria” a Roman festival was celebrated. As the name suggests, it was a festival of laughter and hilarity where people would dress up in disguises to fool others and enjoy the spring season. Various countries have different ways to celebrate this day. While across Italy, France, Belgium, and French-speaking areas of Switzerland and Canada, people celebrate April Fools’ Day by trying to stick a paper fish on someone (without being noticed); in Iran jokes were played on each other on ‘Sizdah Be-dar'(the 13th day of the Persian New Year, falling on April 1st or 2nd). On the other hand Spanish speaking countries celebrate similar festivity on the ‘Day of the Holy Innocents’ (December 28 or 29) and in Denmark, this day is celebrated on’Maj-Kat’, which means ‘May-cat’ (May 1st).

Either way the chance to play practical jokes and hoaxes on this day has promoted this trend to continue. For there’s nothing more enriching than genuine innocent fun and laughter for the day.

“The maple syrup’s full of ants.
A mouse is creeping on the shelf.
Is that a spider on your back?
I ate the whole pie by myself.
The kitchen sink just overflowed.
A flash flood washed away the school.
I threw your blanket in the trash.
I never lie—I—
April Fool!” (Myra Cohn Livingstone)

Source:https://vk.com/monahos