people – Page 20 – Sugar And Spice… Among Other Things

Courage for Today

Posted on February 11, 2019December 7, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“First, in feelings of fear and confidence the mean is bravery (andreia).The excessively fearless person is nameless…while the one who is excessively confident is rash; the one who is excessively afraid and deficient in confidence is cowardly.”-Aristotle (Source: Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics)

The progress and changes that man has seen, witnessed or underwent is the culmination of events that have taken place when one has decided to act on their thinking, feeling and emotions. In the course, choices have to be made between the right and the wrong, to conquer fears and pains to reach the intended goal.

“Courage is about doing what you’re afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you’re scared. Have the courage to act instead of react.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

The decision or the choice and willingness to confront agony, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation can be termed as courage, bravery or valour. Yet true forms of courage can be physical or mental. While the former is bravery in the face of physical pain, hardship, death or threat of death; moral courage encompasses the ability to act rightly in the face of popular opposition, shame, scandal, discouragement or personal loss. Add perseverance and patience to courage; then courage becomes fortitude.

“And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs, Stanford commencement speech, June 2005

For the world today, courage is needed not just for achieving records, dashing car rides, conquest of mountain peaks, quests to discover new places or attempting new events and the like. While they do require us stepping outside our comfort zone; there are many more instances where we have to put on the cloak of courage knowingly or unknowingly.

“Sometimes standing against evil is more important than defeating it. The greatest heroes stand because it is right to do so, not because they believe they will walk away with their lives. Such selfless courage is a victory in itself.” N.D. Wilson, Dandelion Fire

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Courage entails the process of acting despite the gnawing fear. Courage helps us to follow our hearts and persevere in the face of adversity. Courage helps us to endure suffering with the hope to renew our struggle for the brighter tomorrow.

“There is no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bear witness that a man has the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.” Frank

Man will need immense courage to follow his dreams, faith and strive hard in the face of constant criticism, opposition and doubts. He will need courage to raise children, stay as family, grow trees and build a house. Today he will need courage to do the simple and necessary things in the right manner than for bright lights, glory and fame.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” Mary Anne Radmacher

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Daily, Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes

Warmth Around Us

Posted on February 10, 2019November 28, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Everyone smiles in the same language,
Happiness knows no frontiers, no age.
No difference that makes us feel apart
if a smile can win even a broken heart.”
Ana Claudia Antunes

The beauty of living lies in the inherent sense of happiness within as well as the balance of our personal nature while interacting with others. In due course, we realize in the dark rainy days there are times when we still feel like the sun is shining. The reality is that the warmth around us is enough to drive off the sudden chill within. What we later realize is that warm people were around and they had given off a part of them to thaw the cold. It’s best to be around them for they are what make the dreary world a much better place to live in.

Source:https://vk.com/public752900000

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. Henri Nouwen

To sum up, the warmth around us that drives away the chill of winter can be found in these lines of poetry which I had chanced on, in my social network pages. These words are too beautiful and need to be shared to ward off the sudden cold that engulfs us from time to time.

There are warm people, like the summer sun
Like a gentle breeze, like a sea tide.
They warm to the very bottom,
And their word heals, as a gentle motive.

There are warm people, like native hands,
Like the light from a childhood favorite window.
They will calm down in moments of dashing,
Support and say that they need you.

God bless you, good people!
In response, I send my warmth.
Let your life be filled with light
For bringing goodness into the world.
-Rus Svyataya

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Source:https://vk.com/we_live_a

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Source:https://vk.com/we_live_a

Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, Photography Art, Quotes, Reflections

Finding the Harmony

Posted on February 7, 2019November 28, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“The highest education is that which does not merely give us information but makes our life in harmony with all existence.” Rabindranath Tagore

In the chaotic existence of the days, as we come across many people and numerous interactions, there is one set of people that I admire the most. They are open to all ideas, listen to entire narratives with infinite patience, kind to many but rarely allow others to interfere in their lives. They look for the truth by themselves, gathering their world bit by bit and at times with gentle subtleness, not paying attention to the surprised and condemning views of those around them.

“Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity. From discord find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” Albert Einstein

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

These kind of people are so rare being many-sided and beautiful. They are open to others, but they will never knock on doors where they are not welcome. They live in harmony with themselves, as their heart tells them. Usually they are considered insane, but these people love life, and she reciprocates them, giving them their best gifts. Harmony is the word that centers around these people.

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony.” Thomas Merton

The peacefulness and concurrence with each other cannot be born in a day. For harmony to be attained it needs each one of us to be aware of the expectations and requirements that encompass us as we adapt in our own particular approach to life. To be in concordance with others will happen when we are in agreement with ourselves, living consistent with our most profound feelings of what is genuine and what matters most. The joy of life can be seen exemplified through the quiet power of harmony. When the state of harmony is balanced, one often discovers that life blossoms even through the tired, difficult, bleak and lonely days. All we need to do is find and synchronize the rhythm within to the thoughts, desires and dreams in our mind. Though this may seem difficult, it is never impossible to do so.

“The simplification of life is one of the steps to inner peace. A persistent simplification will create an inner and outer well-being that places harmony in one’s life.” Peace Pilgrim

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Source:https://vk.com/we_live_a

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Work

Caught and Crabbed

Posted on January 30, 2019November 16, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

The highest treason a crab can commit is to make a leap for the rim of the bucket. Steven Pressfield

On any visit to the fish market, the bucket of crabs is always a given availability in the mornings. An interesting phenomenon is noticed when all crabs are put together in a bucket. When one of them tries to get out of the bucket, others pull him back. Sometimes crabs show their anger especially when they drag their kinsman at the last moment, when he has almost reached the edge of the bucket. This pattern of behaviour noted in crabs results in the efforts of any one crab’s escape being undermined by the others, ensuring the group’s collective demise.

“You cannot strengthen one by weakening another; and you cannot add to the stature of a dwarf by cutting off the leg of a giant.” Benjamin Franklin Fairless

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

We may have come across this phenomenon among our fellow beings, known as “Crab mentality” or “crabs in a bucket (also barrel, basket or pot)” is typical of selfish, myopic thinking which is best described by the phrase “if I can not, then you can not”. The analogy in human behaviour or the way of thinking is when members of a group will attempt to reduce the self-confidence of any member to halt their progress especially those who accomplish anything beyond the others. The root trigger of this behaviour stems out of envy, resentment, spite, conspiracy, or competitive feelings.

“Like those crabs which dress themselves with seaweed, we wear belief and custom.” Cyril Connolly

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

We rarely realize how many situations we have come across with peers behaving like crabs or we being one at times. There are many simple examples to highlight how easy is to be one with a crab mentality in our daily life. When a person tries to turn over a new leaf like quit smoking or control the alcohol intake limit; then friends say “it will not work anyway,” signals crab mentality. When you get a second degree and colleagues loudly wonder, exclaim and question why you need it because you already have a job highlights crab mentality again. While starting something new like an art, learning a new skill we often hear rash words of being stupid, wrong timing, nothing good will come of it; at times they all echo the pulling down behavior of the crabs.

This is human nature, and nothing can be done about it, except for one thing – to be stronger than a bucket and crawl forward, even when a hundred people are pulling you back.

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Daily, Family and Society, Life, Reflections

Converse to Communicate

Posted on January 25, 2019November 14, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Ideal conversation must be an exchange of thought, and not, as many of those who worry most about their shortcomings believe, an eloquent exhibition of wit or oratory. Emily Post

In our day-to-day life, we come across many people of different personality types, various behaviours or views, and going through their individual set of emotions at the various phases in their lives. Yet a common thread running through all the people we meet either at work, neighbourhood or market is conversation. The latter can range from being a casual nod to a simple greeting of “Hello, How do you do ?” or talk of the weather, politics (regional to global), work and the daily happenings.

A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That’s why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet. Truman Capote

https://vk.com/monahos

Unfortunately not all of us can strike a conversation at the right time or a fruitful one which doesn’t end up in a war of words or ideas. This art has come to a point where social messaging and screen talk leaves one more comfortable than being engaged in a face-to-face conversations. The sad fact is real communication doesn’t grow from written words but meaningful exchange of words, ideas, thoughts, expressions and emotions.

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. George Bernard Shaw

Yet when conversing makes us uneasy, tactless, upset or bored to the point of losing people, breaking relationships and friendships; it is time to introspect and sift through the mind to find out what went wrong. There are a few tips that I often find helpful when discoursing with others.

1. When you know something, but not asked; it helps to keep quiet and listen.
2. When you are at the receiving end of a talk, learn to be silent to listen. Two can’t talk at once for no one would be able to hear then.
3. Do not interfere in other people’s conversations especially when standing in a sub groups of group.

Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Plato

https://vk.com/monahos

4. Answer the questions, but do not elaborate to the point where others’ get a faraway look, start yawning or contemplating other activities’ in their mind.
5. When you want to tell something before you start doing, hold the tongue. For don’t tell others before time, until you have done it. Instead switch over the talk to interest, advice or opinion.
6. Do not tell people of their shortcomings, unless asked.

Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing. Rollo May

7. When feelings are hurt or reproached, keeping quiet with a smile and walking away really helps.
8. When the talk seems unfair or unjustified to you; say the same with reasoning, quietly and calmly.
9. Speaking abruptly, out of context or with excitement doesn’t help in the exchange of ideas or flow of words. Instead simmer the glee, watch their eyes and body language and then explore the ideas running in the mind with context to the situation at hand.

Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood. William Shakespeare

Ideas, talk and words are like milk. Once spilt, can’t be completely retrieved. As Shannon L. Adler had said, “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t being said. The art of reading between the lines is a life long quest of the wise.”

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Daily, Family and Society, Quotes, Work

Measure of Intelligence

Posted on January 23, 2019November 14, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Being innate hunters and gatherers for the purpose of survival, man doesn’t limit this action to his physical existence alone, but also to enhance his mental, emotional and spiritual thirst for life. From the very beginning, the questions of why, how, when, where and why has always fascinated man. To this purpose, the development of “intelligentia or intellectus” began from a purely scholarly view point to betterment of one’s existence. Fast forwarding to the present day, on the purpose of enhancing one’s intelligence; education, travel as well as acquiring information has been on the achievements list.

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. F. Scott Fitzgerald

In fact, many consider an intelligent person is one who reads a lot, received a good education, travelled a lot, knows several languages and bears a lot of facts, data or information. While all this is partly correct, one can have all yet lose sight of humanity. In other words, we can have all the prerequisites of being intelligent and be unintelligent. On the contrary, we can’t have any of the requirements and still be an internally intelligent person.

https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live as well as think. Ralph Waldo Emerson

For along the way we have lost sight of the real purpose of “intelligence”. The latter which in turn stems from the verb “intelligere” means to comprehend or perceive. Today both comprehension and perceptions are lost in the acquisition of intelligence.

Intelligence lies is not only in displaying knowledge, but also in the ability to understand others. It manifests itself in a thousand and a thousand trifles: in the ability to argue respectfully, behave modestly at the table, quietly (imperceptibly) help others, not to drop litter around themselves, not to utter hurtful or bad words or rude ideas.

Intelligence is the ability to understand, to perceive, it is a tolerant attitude towards the world and towards people. Dmitry Sergeevich Likhachev

So this begs the final question of whether we are intelligent enough to change for better and before things go from bad to worse. Or should we cling to what our beliefs and ideals were once formed on, even if they are humanely incorrect, egotistic and narrow minded to the point of stifling our relationships with fellow beings and curbing our growth, happiness and inner peace.

Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change. Stephen Hawking

https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Life, Personal Musings, Quotes

Refocus the Purpose

Posted on January 22, 2019November 16, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“When you are standing in the middle of a storm you have two choices: Pray to God that it goes away. Or, start praying to God that he gives you the wisdom to figure out why you’re standing in the middle of a storm.” Shannon L. Alder

One of the constant battles that we often wage with ourselves is whether what we are doing is of any purpose or not. Man is filled with uncertainties and doubts of whether the life he lives is of any meaning. Unfortunately there are no guarantees to life that ensures that we would be able to predict the entire course of events, or that what we do would be of purpose all the time. While every second of our life may not be meaningful, as long as we are happy and at peace the time spent is worth it.

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

The who, why, where and what centering around us drive our existence. Our purpose in life is the reason why we rise up to each day and live it. To find purpose, we need to centre our lives around those or someone or something we care about. From meaningful satisfying work to responsibilities to family, friends and oneself; we need to find a focus to direct our attention, will and energy. For then that purpose will to guide our decisions, influence our actions and behavior, shape goals, offer a sense of direction, and create meaning. Each person has their own unique perspective and purpose, with different paths that will intersect with other fellow paths at certain point of time. As our purpose and paths will fluctuate depending on our experiences, life lessons as well as interests, there is no set purpose for anyone. But we can have a common outlook which is why no matter how purpose driven our life is, unless we make emotional, spiritual and mental connections, we often find ourselves in a rut or loss of impetus.

“I don’t want to live in the kind of world where we don’t look out for each other. Not just the people that are close to us, but anybody who needs a helping hand. I cant change the way anybody else thinks, or what they choose to do, but I can do my bit.” Charles de Lint

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts