Tag: people

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Quotes, Stories Around the World

The Three Sieves

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Think before you speak. Read before you think.” Fran Lebowitz

The greatest ability that puts man apart from the rest of the oxygen dependent genres is the ability to read, write, think, comprehend and speak various languages understood with all of his kind. The gift of verbal and non-verbal communication of man is at a higher level than the rest of the living species.

“There is a time and a place for things. Sometimes one needs to put a filter on oneself. That can be a good thing.” Tori Amos

Which is why before we say something rash or simply repeat the hearsay, think if doing so is worth the time, effort, energy as well as the consequences and the aftermath. The wheel of time is such that it can be only move forward. Once a particular event has happened for good or bad, we can’t change it but only deal with it or take corrective measures.

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“Speak only if it improves upon the silence.” Mahatma Gandhi

Unless we learn to sieve our words and thoughts when we tweet, speak or cast them to the world around us; we would end up with a whole load of regrets, guilt and uneasiness. It is easy to fill in conversation gaps, catch attention or be the first with the information; yet unless it is true, beneficial, required, non intrusive and kind; saying nothing is more restful to oneself and others as well.

“Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you invest, investigate. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try. Before you retire, save. Before you die, give.” William Arthur Ward

“One day, the old wise Socrates walks down the streets, when all of the sudden a man runs up to him “Socrates I have to tell you something about your friend who…”
“Hold up” Socrates interrupts him “About the story you’re about to tell me, did you put it trough the three sieves?”
“Three sieves?” The man asks “What three sieves?”
“Let’s try it” Socrates says.
“The first sieve is the one of truth, did you examine what you were about to tell me if it is true?” Socrates asks.
“Well no, I just overheard it” The man says.
“Ah, well then you have used the second sieve, the sieve of good?” Socrates asks “Is it something good what you’re about to tell me?”
“Ehm no, on the contrary” the man answers.
“Hmmm” The wise man says “Let’s use the third sieve then, is it necessary to tell me what you’re so exited about?”
“No not necessary” the man says.
“Well” Socrates says with a smile “If the story you’re about to tell me isn’t true, good or necessary, just forget it and don’t bother me with it.”
Socrates

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Posted in Family and Society, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Seeking the Truth

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Truth is never a straight line; it is a circle that will take you back to what you know, in order to challenge your belief in what is fair, what is real, what is forgivable, what is not and what type of person will you become today now that you know.” Shannon L. Alder

Many a time we are in a state of wondering what are the criterion of declaring the truth. Is it as per the majority or is it based on logical,factual or ethical understanding. In reality, the existence of the truth to self is an abstract measure of perspective of one person that another person might disagree with. What might true at one point of time might be wrong when scrutinized at another point along the time frame. Why do we seek the truth so badly ? Is it to put to rest the rising doubts and questions in the mind? Or is it to seek a code of conduct or rules to live by ? Whatever may the reason be, unless the truth resonates with our thinking and mind frame, we are always in doubt of it.

“It is not the possession of truth, but the success which attends the seeking after it, that enriches the seeker and brings happiness to him.” Max Planck

In our search for the identity of self and finding the certainty of our existence, being true to oneself matters the most. While one piece may not make sense, the jigsaw puzzles put together make the picture whole and complete as well as the concept clear. For time had made truth both objective and subjective as well as relative to absolute, but as long it sets the mind free it is worth the search.

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The seeker of truth

After years of searching, the seeker was told to go to a cave, in which he would find a well. ‘Ask the well what is truth’, he was advised, ‘and the well will reveal it to you’. Having found the well, the seeker asked that most fundamental question. And from the depths came the answer, ‘Go to the village crossroad: there you shall find what you are seeking’.Full of hope and anticipation the man ran to the crossroad to find only three rather uninteresting shops. One shop was selling pieces of metal, another sold wood, and thin wires were for sale in the third. Nothing and no one there seemed to have much to do with the revelation of truth.

Disappointed, the seeker returned to the well to demand an explanation, but he was told only, ‘You will understand in the future.’ When the man protested, all he got in return were the echoes of his own shouts. Indignant for having been made a fool of – or so he thought at the time – the seeker continued his wanderings in search of truth. As years went by, the memory of his experience at the well gradually faded until one night, while he was walking in the moonlight, the sound of sitar music caught his attention. It was wonderful music and it was played with great mastery and inspiration. Profoundly moved, the truth seeker felt drawn towards the player. He looked at the fingers dancing over the strings. He became aware of the sitar itself. And then suddenly he exploded in a cry of joyous recognition: the sitar was made out of wires and pieces of metal and wood just like those he had once seen in the three stores and had thought it to be without any particular significance.

At last he understood the message of the well: we have already been given everything we need: our task is to assemble and use it in the appropriate way. Nothing is meaningful so long as we perceive only separate fragments. But as soon as the fragments come together into a synthesis, a new entity emerges, whose nature we could not have foreseen by considering the fragments alone.

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Posted in Christian, Daily, Life, Personal Musings

Deprived by Doubts

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

One of the most common ways that we deprive ourselves of happiness are “the doubts” that continuously provoke the mind. For instance, when we buy any expensive gadget or any item like a car, cell phone, dresses, cruise tickets or the latest laptops, we continuously skim and look for offers, plan on the pros and cons as well as try to budget and pray about it. Yet once we receive it, we often have a mixed response. Initially the thrill is there of the brand “new”thing and we try to explore it, use it and show other as well. Yet after sometime, when something else new comes up or we see something better, we then wonder if we should have bought “it” later or had waited for some more time for something better to come up or a larger discount on what we had wanted. The joy and happiness of the “acquisition” becomes negated by anxiety, worry, sadness and disappointment all because of our doubts.

“Give thanks in everything: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Instead of turning onto the track of frivolous doubts and dissatisfaction, it would be better if we prayed about our choices, made our decisions wisely and first thank for the events that have happened. Each time the doubts creep into our mind, think of the days and the “whys” of our need. As long as what we have attained serves the purpose, neither the brand, model or whether scores of people have it really matters.

“Don’t ever doubt yourselves or waste a second of your life. It’s too short, and you’re too special.” Ariana Grande

If we indulge in every niggling doubt that lurks in the mind based on what we see, hear or assume; then we would never find time to be happy with anything. Instead if we learn to grow our trust and faith in His Grace that all things happen for a reason, even though we often assume it is only based on chance and circumstances. When we try to rejoice and find joy in the smallest things that we had wished for or had happened just like that, the good moments in the timeline of our memories increases and prepares us for the journey ahead.

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Posted in Christian, Life, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Curious not Judgemental

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

An elderly man with a 25-year-old son entered the train car and took their seats. The young man sat by the window. As soon as the train started moving, he put his hand out the window to feel the flow of air and suddenly shouted in admiration: “Dad, you see, all the trees are coming back!” The older man smiled back. Next to the young man was a married couple. They were a bit confused by the fact that a 25-year-old man behaves like a little child. Suddenly young man again shouted in delight: “Dad, you see the lake and the animals … The clouds go with the train!”  The couple shyly watched the strange behavior of a young man, in which his father did not seem to find anything strange. It began to rain, and raindrops touched the young man’s hand. He again became overwhelmed with joy and closed his eyes. And then he shouted: “Dad, it’s raining, the water touches me! See, Dad ?” Wanting to help with something, the couple sitting next to her asked the elderly man:“ Why won’t you take your son to some clinic for a consultation?” An elderly man replied: “We have just come from the clinic. Today, my son, for the first time in his life, has acquired his sight … ”

It is impossible to judge the affairs and actions of other people without having all the knowledge. Only God possesses the fullness of knowledge. Therefore, “Judge not, that ye be not judged!”

This is an interesting post that I had come across my social pages, although I am not sure about the original author or source. What set me thinking was that, n scenarios similar to the above, was there a better way to frame the question to allay the curiosity. For instance, a more polite way of asking would be, “Isn’t this journey interesting ?” or state “Your son loves train journeys.” If then the father is willing to open up and talk, then it would be fine. Even if that doesn’t happen, by keen observation one can deduce a number of things from any situation.

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“Be curious, not judgemental.” Walt Whitman

There is a fine line between curiosity and being judgemental. The latter refers to holding an opinion; decide upon critically; to infer, think or hold as an opinion; conclude about or assess or to act like a judge; passing verbal or mental comments with or without assessing the situation in totality. No one can know about the other, unless each one decides to share their story. For that to happen, we would be able to hear others, once we keep quiet, stop thinking or supposing and listen to their entire narrative.

“If we had no faults of our own, we should not take so much pleasure in noticing those in others and judging their lives as either black or white, good or bad. We all live our lives in shades of gray.”- Shannon L.Alder

As we go about the day, take care to be curious but not assign any opinion, label or be prejudiced in our behaviour without viewing the entire picture. Each time we weigh other in the mental scale, think twice before we start the process. Only when we are weighed in the scale do we realize how much our worth actually weighs against the lives that we lead.

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Posted in Family and Society, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

Blinded by Emotions

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion and knowledge. Plato

One of the great teachers and thinkers of the ancient civilization, Plato’s words have held true through the trials of time. Almost in the same order, desire and emotions have always ruled above common sense and knowledge. Even if these emotions have set man apart from the other animal creations; it has often blinded him to other beings even of his own kind, to the point of destroying himself in the process. As truth is bitter, many of us fail to acknowledge that we are often swayed by emotions instead of logic.

How many times have we been passed over others not due to lack of skill but over personal preferences, likes or dislikes of the selectors? How many times have we prejudiced others based on their attire, colour, backgrounds and appearances when they put us to shame with their behaviour and nature ?

When we begin to build walls of prejudice, hatred, pride, and self-indulgence around ourselves, we are more surely imprisoned than any prisoner behind concrete walls and iron bars. Mother Angelica

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The gilded cages that we build around us in all glory keeps us in one place, not letting us to fly and explore the world around us; unless we chose to open the door to use our wings. While we can’t control what is happening, we hold the key to our own behaviour in our dealings with others, at work, neighbourhood and wherever we go. Either way as the poet Robert Frost had said the world will end in the fire of desire or the ice of hatred; though both ways are disastrous, historical and anthropological evidence has proven through the ice ages which is more terrible of the two.

Awareness is realizing that our life could always be better. Growth is doing what it takes to make it better. When we choose the positive over the negative, liberation over repression, truth over illusion, we become real creators. Danielle LaPorte

Fire and Ice 
By Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

 

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Posted in Christian, Stories Around the World

Face of Love

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Today’s title is based on D. Michele Perry‘s book. She is the founder of Iris,South Sudan; an orphanage where she had devoted her life to change the world. She is an unusual missionary as she was born without a left kidney, hip and leg, yet many consider her to be one of the most joyful people on earth. I had read about her works when a friend of mine had tagged me along with an excerpt from her book in my social network pages. As I read through the article, numerous emotions ran through my mind which reminded me of the love that our Lord has given us. This excerpt is from her book “Love Has a Face: Mascara, a Machete and One Woman’s Miraculous Journey with Jesus in Sudan”.

The story of Ani (not her real name, changed) was a miracle that happened literally in the mud. Through this little girl I understood God’s grace and compassion more than through anyone in my life. Anya came to us at the age of three and a half with two brothers. She was the shadow of a little girl. She did not want to play. She did not allow anyone to touch her. She always looked for the dirtiest and unclean places in the camp. Finding such a place, she lay down in the mud and cried there for hours. If someone tried to lift her, she was twisted and torn again to this place. Most of the moms have already stopped pulling her and just left to lie on the ground and cry. Her roar was especially unpleasant. I wondered how often before, when she cried in the same way, no one heard her or came to her. It had an imprint of the orphan spirit. She was sure that no one loved her and no one wanted her, and to prove it to herself, she made it difficult, as far as possible, for us. “Dad, what to do? How can I love her? “Immediately, an excerpt from Philippians 2 came to me:“For you must have the same feelings as in Christ Jesus: He, being in the image of God, did not esteem the plunder to be equal to God; but he humbled himself, taking the form of a slave, becoming like men, and in appearance becoming like a man” (verses 5–7) Jesus came to where I was. Therefore, I had to go where Anya was. So I did.

I found her lying in the mud and lay down beside her. I did not touch her and did not speak. I did not look at her because I knew that it would only make her scream louder. I just lay down next to her. She knew that I was there. I was just there. The next day I lay down next to her in the same way, but this time I put my hand in front of her eyes. It seemed that nothing was happening. Not accepting disappointment, I tried again. The next time I again found her lying and stretched out my hand. This time her little hand approached mine. Slowly, we joined hands, only to make this scene repeat again and again over the next weeks. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, a miracle occurred in the heart of Ani. She became aware that she was loved and safe and desirable. She deserves to be in the mud for her. She deserves to look foolish for her. She deserves love. She is not alone and not abandoned. Her crying no longer remains unheard in silence.

I will never forget when I saw Anya smile for the first time. Tears flowed out of me, without stopping. Now she is five, and she smiles a lot. She wraps herself in my hem and loves to help younger kids. She plays and laughs and loves to hug. Anya is no longer an orphan. She came home. Traveling with her taught me about the wealth of the Father’s grace. He did not tell me to get out of the mud of my own pain and shame. He did not tell me to get rid of it, and then only to come to Him. Not. He lay in the mud with me. He offered His hand and just waited – letting me see, letting me believe, letting me put my hand in His and then stand together. I understand Anya. The only difference in us is that her pain was visible, and mine was hidden in my heart. God’s love is great. He comes and seeks us in the muddy places of our deepest wounds and dark corners. He loves us so much that he moves the heavens and the earth to show us His great grace. He loves us so much that he hugs us even when we are in the mud. And He loves us so much that He does not leave us there.

Michelle Perry “Love Has a Face”

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Posted in Daily, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World

What Goes A Long Way

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners. Laurence Sterne”

Respect. Courtesy. Consideration. Manners.

What maybe a simple “Good morning” or “Hello” from our side may have made someone else’s day or even changed their perspective when they were in the dark. Yet that innocent and courteous greeting can go a long way, helping us when we least expect it. While respect mayn’t always be necessary to be returned in kind there and then; it can brighten the day both for us and for the addressee. No matter how busy the day might be or how close the deadlines are looming and how hectic the schedule may be, always take the time to treat others with due regard and courtesy.

“We learned about gratitude and humility – that so many people had a hand in our success, from the teachers who inspired us to the janitors who kept our school clean… and we were taught to value everyone’s contribution and treat everyone with respect. Michelle Obama”

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This is a story that I had read through my social media pages which struck a chord. Although I don’t know if it’s true, the message conveyed is worth the effort and time to browse through it.

The woman worked at the meat factory. One day, at the end of her working day, she went into the freezer to check something, but the door accidentally closed – and the woman was locked from the inside.
The woman screamed and knocked with all her might — it was all to no avail — no one could hear her. Most of the workers have already left, and outside the freezer it is impossible to hear what is happening inside. Five hours later, when death seemed inevitable, the factory guard opened the door — and the woman miraculously escaped that day from death. Later, the woman asked the guard why he decided to check the freezer that day, because it was not his responsibility. The guard replied: “I have been working at this factory for 35 years, hundreds of people come and leave every day, but you are one of the few who greeted me in the morning and said goodbye at the end of the working day. Many relate to me, as if I am invisible … Today, passing by me, you, as always, told me “Hello”. But after work, I noted with curiosity that I did not hear your “so long, see you tomorrow,” and I did not see you leaving the factory’s territory. So I decided to check around the factory. I’m so used to your “hello” and “bye” every day, because they remind me that I need someone. Not hearing your farewell today, I realized that something had happened. That is why I have been looking for you everywhere. ” 

Be humble, love and respect those around you. After all, we never know what will happen tomorrow.

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