Posted in Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes

Not as the Speculation

“Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined.” Toni Morrison

Preparations for the silver jubilee of the high school batch had begun well in advance, almost a year ahead. From inquiries among batch-mates about schedules, plans and venues to coordinating with the present school and alumni council, no stone was left unturned to reconnect with all members of the same batch year. Catching up to the present day, there was a couple of surprises in store for everyone. Besides the personal additions to the class, there were the professional landmarks and various talents that had come into play over the years; all which were way off the conjectures based on the know of the high school years.

“Those who have knowledge, don’t predict. Those who predict, don’t have knowledge.” Lao Tzu

No matter how many suppositions one may presume, the reality may be something near the perceived or far off the mark. At times, it is more of the latter that makes one realize that at times perceived notions can be way out of the expected. As each of us had made our way into the world, shedding off the cloaks of the teenage years and entering into the young adult stage; not one of us would have been able to exactly predict the directions that we would turn. While for some of us, the final destination of the present day is close to the dream we had seen; for few others the present reality is way better than the future views held in the mind of those days.

“Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day.” Suzy Kassem

Whether the top scorer of the class reaches the pinnacle of success or the one with low grades runs his own company; towards the end of the day all those don’t matter. Neither does each of us have the power to completely judge or label one, neither does one like to labelled or judged. Whether the scorer of those days is successful today or not, it doesn’t affect the present day lives of most of us. As long as one is content from within, the true essence of life is then experienced. Though guess-work and suppositions may be nowhere near the reality, it doesn’t matter as long as each of us are happy in our own paths. And that is the true beauty of life, to feel and explore the dreams, aspiration and talents closest to the heart.

The heartthrob of the school, is a man grim and somber.
That lanky little girl, is now a weightlifter.
The topper of the class, is a happy homemaker.
Back bencher of the lot, is an entrepreneur.
The flamboyant fashionista, became a dreaded lawyer.
Oft ignored average Joe, turned a well known writer.
The one who failed math paper, is a fashion designer,
And one who often got to stand outside the class, is a respected army officer.
The reunion taught me how, people came with many layers, and tell me why should we never, judge a book by its cover.
Anjali Sharma

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, poetry, Random Thoughts, Stories Around the World

Record in the Storm

On May 6, 1954 at Oxford University’s Iffley Road Track, when Roger Bannister had broken the four-minute barrier; it was a marvellous achievement. For he had not just set a proven record of being the first to run a mile under four minutes; but he had also broken the calculations set by the science of physics, mechanics and human biology. Since then, many more athletes have broken the four minute barrier. Such and similar achievements of people have left often amazed about the infinite possibilities of man and his abilities.

“The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word ‘crisis.’ One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger–but recognize the opportunity.” John F. Kennedy

All of us have it in us, the ability to do the best of ourselves. At times, these come to forefront only when challenged or mired in a crisis. Imagine being stuck in a deep crevice, there are only two options then; to either go down deep and perish or gain footholds and climb up till one finds a way out. Being put against odds, helps one to find the strength within. Many a time, it is these rough patches that help to find ourselves. One is never beaten unless one thinks one is. The strength depends on the state of the mind. As one learns to climb the rough rocks, gain a foothold, test own wings and fly; does one get to see fresh beauty, soar to new heights and touch fresh skies.

A State of Mind
by A Walter D. Wintle
If you think you are beaten, your are
If you think you dare not, you won’t,
If you like to win, but don’t think you can
It’s almost a cinch you won’t

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost
For out in the world you’ll find,
Success begins with a fellow’s will
It’s all in a state of mind

For many a game is lost
Ere even a play is run,
And many a coward fails
Ere even his work is begun

Think big and your deeds will grow
Think small and you’ll fall behind
Think that you can and you will
It’s all a state of mind

If you think you are out-classed, your are
You’ve got to think high to rise
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize

Life battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the fellow who thinks he can

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Random Thoughts, Stories Around the World

One Vs. Two

Reading from the storybook wasn’t exactly a night ritual but more of an evening time practice. While the young mind holds thoughts of lions not getting their dinner or the stag running from the hunter; they are busy figuring out how the ending works and all are happy or sad. Yet for the adult mind, these ending linger and reflect out the similar analogy in the modern busy lives.

One of the recent reads was about the “lion who didn’t get it’s meal” because for a scant second he though to get more and gave chase without securing his first catch. Area lot of us like this lion ? A few of times, each of us may have felt a similar vein. Entering the race for securing a better project or incentive as compare to one hand, in view of better long term incentives. In few cases the decision may have been alright, while in the other cases it may have cost us quite a bit for that extra run. Whether the “cost” was worth it, only hindsight would prove.

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” Alexander Graham Bell

The importance lies in knowing when to give chase and when to recognize the opportunity at hand, secure it and then embark on the hunt for the better opportunity. As the “greedy lion” always teaches us that a bird in hand is worth two in the bush; the difference lies in not just recognizing the essence or what is held within the hand but also to keep it anchored and use it to better ourselves. Identifying is one, but using it is another. In the hunt for the dove flying above, the sparrow at hand has more to offer. Learning that difference helps us to not just climb ladders for growth or success but also to pursue the meaningful things at own door than be embroiled in the fathomless pursuit of “deemed happiness or requirements” of life in general.

“The Greedy Lion. It was an incredibly hot day and a lion was feeling very hungry. He crawled out of his den and searched here and there, but he could only find a small hare. He caught the hare, but with some hesitation as he knew the hare wouldn’t fill him up. As the lion was about to kill the hare, he spotted a deer coming his way and thought, “Instead of eating this small hare, let me eat that big deer.” So he let the hare go and went after the deer, but it vanished in the forest. The lion now had nothing to eat as the hare was also long gone.” (Source: vk.com)

‘Der Spatz in der Hand ist besser als die Taube auf dem Dach’.

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections

Below the Surface

“Errors, like straws, upon the surface flow;
He who would search for pearls, must dive below.”
John Dryden, All for Love

A school visit to the local underwater aquarium had lead to an exuberant eight year old going on and on about how big it was, the funny stringy umbrella creature with many legs (jelly fish), bright coloured fishes with funny noses as well as the rich colours of the underwater life. Among his expressions of surprise and wonder, what caught my mind was the comment that “no one would see all this if we just go to the beach alone, we need to go inside the ocean.” One would wholeheartedly agree with this. A quiet day at a beach would never give cause for one to imagine that there is another world teeming below the blue waters.

“A human being has so many skins inside, covering the depths of the heart. We know so many things, but we don’t know ourselves! Why, thirty or forty skins or hides, as thick and hard as an ox’s or bear’s, cover the soul. Go into your own ground and learn to know yourself there.” Meister Eckhart

The essence of human life is similar to the depths of the ocean. On the surface, each of us have our own basic essentials, food, clothing and shelter. Yet to feel complete, one needs to go beyond the creature comforts. Each of us need to find our own meaning in life, not just to find a purpose or define ourselves but also to feel complete when doing so. The innate human potential is boundless. It is only when one takes the step into the unknown waters, that one can challenge themselves to be better and explore the hidden talents.

To breach beyond the surface requirements requires one to pursue their instincts and challenges to use the present strengths to become something more. The only care to be taken is to know that the difference between the ocean and the quicksand. As for the ocean, no matter how big or deep it is; knowing to put in a full set of diving gear and air supply tank is what counts the decision to stay for how long. To experience the joys of the sea-world, one must know to stay in with the reasoning to pull out as soon as required. To enjoy experiences and explore the hidden, a cautious touch to the mind with a realistic approach does help one to look beneath the surface and bring wonders for the soul.

“The desert and the ocean are realms of desolation on the surface.
The desert is a place of bones, where the innards are turned out, to desiccate into dust.
The ocean is a place of skin, rich outer membranes hiding thick juicy insides, laden with the soup of being.
Inside out and outside in. These are worlds of things that implode or explode, and the only catalyst that determines the direction of eco-movement is the balance of water.
Both worlds are deceptive, dangerous. Both, seething with hidden life.
The only veil that stands between perception of what is underneath the desolate surface is your courage.
Dare to breach the surface and sink.”
Vera Nazarian

Posted in Daily, Personal Musings, poetry, Reflections, Work

Trap of “Trepidation”

Stepping into the college life, miles away from home, was an awesome experience, especially in learning about life skills, new friendships as well as tiny “take home” messages from the encounter of others’. From the archive of memories was one with my adjoining floor mates. Bitten by the “cooking bug”, which had initially started off as a dare, my friend had embarked on the mission to bring to the house, dished cooked from scratch ( nor processed, prepackages or half cooked meals). For a person of score years who hasn’t even made her own coffee, this dare was a challenge to be over-turned.

As the smells from the common kitchen happened through the odd hours of the day or wee hours of the morning, numerous recipes were attempted (many had flopped) and the cons turning more in number as compared to the “pros”, some days we had questioned if the challenge was worth it. Couple of months, when she had won laurels for the best dessert category in the “food fair”, all this trouble was worth it.

“To venture causes anxiety, but not to venture is to lose one’s self…. And to venture in the highest is precisely to be conscious of one’s self.” Søren Kierkegaard

Looking back, there were more of “should you” and “do you think” than “good luck”. Yet ignoring all the voices around, the focus was on the final goal. Similar instances have happened in each of our lives. While one looks for the perfect approval from others, time runs it’s own course and own choices go unfulfilled. For those who do accomplish their dreams, one discovers that they never paid full to the voices around them alone. Some did hear them, but never listened. Others listened but never retained or dissected them. Few did pay attention, decided if it was worth further regard and if not, just went ahead with their own dreams.

“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.” C. H. Spurgeon

No one needs an acknowledgement or recommendation to follow own choices. If one really wants to do it, go ahead and reach for it. None of us need a stamp for the green light from others, especially for our shaping own thoughts, ideas and plans. Unless one believes in own self, knowing own dreams and strengths; what we want to truly do will never be done. So charge ahead and seek that dream that makes each of us happy and at peace and content form within.

An Ocean of Angst
by Don Wells
It seems like we live in an ocean of angst
telling us we shouldn’t, we dare not, we can’t
we can find so many ways in which we can fail
that we just spin in circles, chasing our tail

And listening to strangers’ whispers of doubt
but ignoring the voices of friends that shout out
“yes! you can do it! we believe in you”
and deep down in your heart you know it is true

Because you see people, simple and plain,
accomplishing miracles every day
they are the dreamers, the crackpots, the few
but they’re not any more special than you

We all have great dreams within our grasp
but to make them a reality we need to ask
will you succeed if you try your best?
the answer, of course, is a resounding yes!

Because every time you try to excel
whether you succeed or, more likely, fail
each attempt you make is a single push up
not much by itself, but they eventually add up

And even if you find that you’re dream has departed
you’ll find that you’re stronger than when you started
so pick a new dream and keep trying again
and success is bound to be yours in the end

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, Quotes, Random Thoughts

Price to “Fit In”

When my cousins had recently relocated to the city courtesy of their promotions, the whole bandwagon followed with kids as well as their dogs. Complete with change of residence, there was a change of schools for both the kids. Attending the new junior high was fun for my nephew, but for my niece who had relocated to middle school, it was a different situation. Over long distance calls and chats, the discussion of peer groups as well as cliches came about. Reflecting back on the entire scenario reminded me of my days at college life, wherein the same emotions ran though, that of a new place, new friends as well as the attempts to fit in.

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.” Mandy Hale

As each of us shift through the various stages of life, the common thread through the undercurrent of emotions is the desire or longing to belong. Whether the belonging is to a particular person or set of people, a common cause or simply a feeling of being needed; these “belongings” fills a void we perceive is there within us. Although at times, we  think we could but we mayn’t be able to belong at all. When this “belonging” results us in losing our identity, self-worth and feeling of happiness and peace within, it is time to stop, introspect as well as retrospect. If in the course of the “belonging” we lose ourselves, then the outcome may cause significant damaging effect, far beyond the expected.

“Want to know the truth about belonging?
It takes courage to belong.
It takes bravery to show up in your own skin.
It’s easy to fit in.
It’s easy to blend in and hide your outrageousness.
And it’s also the easiest way to lose the precious parts of you.
You deserve to be seen. You deserve to be heard. You deserve to be known for the real deal that you are.
Stop taking the easy way out. Stop trying to fit in.
The best place in life is where you’re already okay.
Come home to you. It’s where you belong.”
Anne Bechard

While belonging is important, losing own identity and principles destroys the comfort of “belonging”. More than fitting in, we all need to be pitch in to better ourselves each day as it comes.

Life is always a learning curve. Yet if the “belonging” results in one losing own essence, it is time to switch tracks to prevent further catastrophe. We “belong” best to ourselves. By being true to own essence, one discovers that by just fitting in, we mayn’t be happy. But by being true and stepping up to own beat makes the difference in each day worth living and fighting for.

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, poetry, Reflections

Change of Play

With the sun slowly shining through the cold winds and drizzling rain, the ground slowly breaks forth as new shoots spring to life. As the daylight hours slowly lengthen, the little feet scamper around in the courtyard and the garden. Leaving aside the numerous indoor toys, the bicycle and even the bright coloured remote controlled terrain toys vehicles, these little feet and hands found the fun and happiness in playing with twigs and building a tower with sticks and pebbles. As the household chores got done on an early evening, the yard play brought back memories of the simple days of the yesteryear.

“There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither.” Alan Cohen

As one catches up with the fast paced modernism of today, with the methodology of work as well as projects get more complex, so does the hours of relaxation. From the busy office or work schedule of around eight to twelve hours (more or less in certain scenarios), the unwinding takes a complex route at times, like indulging in the favourite video-games, Netflix shows, movie reruns or even catching up on the social networks. Minus the gadgets or a power outage, the “leisure hours” go “ka-boom”. What has happened to the simple joys of spending “quality time” with family and friends, or just a little quiet time with the self to rejuvenate, recuperate and recharge.

“This is the real secret of life — to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.” Alan Watts

One can’ escape the modernism of the world as the years mature from childhood to adult years. As the list of responsibilities, dreams, ambitions and goals grow, get prioritized or re-prioritized, the purpose would be to infuse a little of “gentle play” in the work as well as to recharge after the strenuous hours. We all have only one life to lead, that one is inherently aware of. Too much of focus of any one arena will result in the loss of another. The “play of life” has to be done in a gentle manner with the amount of “work”, “fun”, “relationships”, “relaxation” and the like to be done in healthy balanced or proportionate doses. One doesn’t need to get too fanciful, just the simple things in life in the right amounts would help in experiencing the gifts and blessings of life.

Playthings

Child, how happy you are sitting in the dust, playing with a broken twig all the morning.
I smile at your play with that little bit of a broken twig.
I am busy with my accounts, adding up figures by the hour.
Perhaps you glance at me and think, “What a stupid game to spoil your morning with!”
Child, I have forgotten the art of being absorbed in sticks and mud-pies.
I seek out costly playthings, and gather lumps of gold and silver.
With whatever you find you create your glad games, I spend both my time and my strength over things I never can obtain.
In my frail canoe I struggle to cross the sea of desire, and forget that I too am playing a game.

– Rabindranath Tagore