Tag: perceptions

Posted in Life, Personal Musings, Photography Art, Quotes, Reflections

Glimmer of Lights

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

With holidays round the corner, schools slowly winding down for Christmas and the shopping to be done; one would inadvertently meet lost or out-of-touch acquaintances, hear news from distant friends or renew previous friendships. Deep inside, the constant comparison of the present with the year previous would be there. At times, there would be days tinged with regrets and “what-ifs”; while other days may highlight the quiet acceptance of the present life and the resolve to face the future day and year in a better frame of mind with the aim to make the best of the things at hand. Either way, it is the view that one chooses to take that matters the most.

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but you thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.” Eckhart Tolle

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Regrets for what has passed, either the good or the bad, doesn’t change anything at all. We all have our firewood, to break or have chopped off; but it’s what we do with it that matters. Take for instance, the cup that contains tea. Regardless of whether it is hot or cold, full or empty; being thankful that one has a cup and that next time, one would take care to better it to own choice would be better than twiddling thumbs and cribbing about the cup.

“If I behave as though this is a completely normal situation, then maybe it will be …” Sophie Kinsella

Each time, the thoughts of “regret or despondency” take over; look around and start mentally counting the blessings. Doing so, will help one realize that though things may have been better if one had taken the either way previously; today what is there mayn’t be there. Looking around, one should never forget the fact that today is there. That the living of today holds more importance and rightness that desiring the “what ifs” of the past or speculating the prospects of the future.

“Life is a balanced system of learning and evolution. Whether pleasure or pain; every situation in your life serves a purpose. It is up to us to recognize what that purpose could be.” Steve Maraboli

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When these downtrodden thoughts assail one, know to address the quiet sadness of the past and think of those days, but hold the “what ifs” at bay. While peering and hoping for a planned future, speculate and let the curiosity of the “what will” stay. For the latter helps one to grow and put forward their best efforts n the present. Yet while looking forwards and backwards, remember not to fail to look around. For the hugs and kisses of the loved ones in the present are the ones that help one to face the future and fills up the treasure chest of thoughts, memories and moments from the past. Learn to swim in the sea of the present as one prepares to chart the course of travels into the future.

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Random Thoughts

Of Roses and Thorns

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An unexpected meeting with a friend of the previous workplace at the hospital, had lead to a short chat over a cup of tea. While enlisting the difficulties she had encountered on the home front and professional front, she had a lot to brood over and take over a negative vibe. Surprisingly her attitude and outlook was more of hopeful, than what would mine have been, if I were in her shoes. Facing life daily with a husband who has been bedridden (victim of a drunk driving accident), diagnosed with SLE, holding temporary jobs with children still in school are just few of the problems that were tackled. While holding the fort with an optimistic outlook outlook is difficult, the fact that she and many more like do it, is what gives a new meaning to positive approach in life.

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“People who are too optimistic seem annoying. This is an unfortunate misinterpretation of what an optimist really is.

An optimist is neither naive, nor blind to the facts, nor in denial of grim reality. An optimist believes in the optimal usage of all options available, no matter how limited. As such, an optimist always sees the big picture. How else to keep track of all that’s out there? An optimist is simply a proactive realist.

An idealist focuses only on the best aspects of all things (sometimes in detriment to reality); an optimist strives to find an effective solution. A pessimist sees limited or no choices in dark times; an optimist makes choices.

When bobbing for apples, an idealist endlessly reaches for the best apple, a pessimist settles for the first one within reach, while an optimist drains the barrel, fishes out all the apples and makes pie.
Annoying? Yes. But, oh-so tasty!”
-Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

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Making sense of optimism is never easy from another point of view. One of the aspects of keeping an optimistic outlook to life is to find an approach which encompasses an effective way out of the problems. For those who can do it in a subtle manner, while at the same time not fail to appreciate the gifts of life and its beauty are the true teachers of “optimism”. As taught and drilled into the mind, from a very young age, life isn’t a bed of roses. But what one must remember at all accounts is that, for every thorn along the way, the final destination holds a rose. While there mayn’t be a bed of roses for everyone, nothing stops one from rising above the thorns, appreciating the beauty and fragrance of the roses; for such is life.

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Posted in Daily, Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Reflections

“Gains” by the Storm

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No pain. No gain.

The saying as above, has been drummed into us from childhood and carried over to the adult lives. While the early days may have left us wallowing to it’s reality, while those peers from the rich, social backgrounds get “everything easy” as the rest slogs it out, adult life brings out the saying in its true form. As the years mature, one gives their best shot and bear the fruit of it in due immediate course of time never comes along. What happens to one, when despite all the pain, gain is absent ?

“It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it.”  Amelia Barr

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Those times, when all the pains seem fruitless and drain us of the mental hope, one needs to keep their inner flame going. Gathering courage to master the raging storm isn’t easy, but once we pull it out from within; surviving the storm would be the gain from the pain. On those days or times, when the pain hasn’t borne fruit; knowing and redefining the “gain” is what keeps the hope going. Though the immediate gain mayn’t be what is as perceived; handling the storm and crossing it is, at times, the biggest gain of all.

“You can be in the storm, but don’t let the storm get in you.” Joel Osteen

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Storms
Margie DeMerell

There will be storms, child
There will be storms
And with each tempest
You will seem to stand alone
Against cruel winds

But with time, the rage and fury
Shall subside
And when the sky clears
You will find yourself
Clinging to someone
You would have never known
But for storms.

“Dig deep & pull the roots of confidence from the ground of your being, standing firm in the raging storm until sunlight blossoms inside you.” Curtis Tyrone Jones

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Posted in Family and Society, Personal Musings, poetry, Random Thoughts

A bit of the Pebble or Clod ?!

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“Your reality is as you perceive it to be. So, it is true, that by altering this perception we can alter our reality.” William Constantine

When one of my friends had received a promotion, the catch was the transfer attached to it. During the last meet, which was both a farewell and treat; we had asked her about the family. For her, family of four, relocating the kids to a new school would be difficult and transfer for her husband wasn’t an option. The new place being four hour drive, regular travel wasn’t an option. On asked, how would she manage; pat came the reply, it’s just for a couple of months and then things will fall into place. It was refreshing to feel the optimistic and practical approach.

“The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.” Al Neuharth

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A lot many time, one often encounters many situation not to personal liking or choice. While at times, one does feel a bit trod on and over whelmed, sticking on and staying true is a matter of principle, perspective and perception. Situations do change like the wind, but it’s how one masters them with the right perspective that makes the approach different. To whine and grumble; or buckle up and forge a new way ahead, is all in the mind, beliefs and actions. The wind blows either for or against, depending on the position we stand in. When the wind becomes a tempest; learning to bend and flow helps one to find their feet in the aftermath.

“We must look at the lens through which we see the world, as well as the world we see, and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world.” Stephen R. Covey

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The Clod and the Pebble
By William Blake
“Love seeketh not itself to please,
Nor for itself hath any care,
But for another gives its ease,
And builds a Heaven in Hell’s despair.”

So sung a little Clod of Clay
Trodden with the cattle’s feet,
But a Pebble of the brook
Warbled out these metres meet:

“Love seeketh only self to please,
To bind another to its delight,
Joys in another’s loss of ease,
And builds a Hell in Heaven’s despite.”

“I am still determined to be cheerful and to be happy in whatever situation. I may be, for I have also learnt from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions and not upon our circumstances.” Martha Washington

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Foggy Glasses

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Although the winds are changing to the tune of autumn, certain areas still have their afternoon muggy heat to hold true to. On such times of the day, the car air-conditioner saves one from the humidity. Yet the incessant fogginess lurking when one steps out from the vehicle serves to keep the glass wipes always at hand, especially for spectacle wearers like yours truly. Yesterday while on errands, I had to repeatedly clean off the haziness on my glasses, while stepping out of my car. If one forgets to, the blurred surroundings remind that what one perceives isn’t what it is out there. The repeated cleaning reminded me of the article I had read across my social media pages of “Dirty Laundry”.

“The self-righteous scream judgments against others to hide the noise of skeletons dancing in their own closets.” John Mark Green

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A lot of instances in our lives involve cleaning the glasses or windows. To pint a finger and critically decide is far easier than getting down to the task of cleaning own windows. What one persistently fails to realize is the loss of missing out on the beautiful views of life, than just saying words that may burn later. Life is too short to miss out on the panoramic views it offers. Getting down to cleaning the glasses may leave us feeling more content and happy, than sitting simply twiddling thumbs and pointing fingers. So why would one want to miss out on the gifts of relationships, views and people that life offers ?

“We have an inner window through which we can see the world, and though it gets cloudy in life, it’s our job to wipe it clean and see things as they really are.” Sebastian Koch

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A young, successful couple found their dream home. Shortly after purchasing it, the couple sat at their kitchen table to indulge in a delicious breakfast. The wife looked out the window, and to her surprise, she saw her neighbor hanging dirty laundry on the clothesline. ‘That laundry isn’t clean, it’s still dirty!’ she said to her husband. ‘Someone needs to teach her a thing or two when it comes to washing her clothes!’

A couple of days later, the couple sat down at their kitchen table for another meal. The wife saw her neighbor hanging clothes on the clothesline. But this time something was different. ‘Wow, look!’ the surprised wife said to her husband, ‘Her clothes are clean! Someone must have taught her how to wash her clothes!’ Without raising his head from his plate, the husband kindly responded, ‘Actually, honey, I got up early this morning and washed the window.’

And so it is with life—what we see when watching others depends on the window through which we look. Washing our own windows from time to time changes our perspective.  (©Copyright WisdomShare — All Rights Reserved)

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Random Thoughts, Reflections

Of Puddles, Mud and Joy

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it.” Samuel Butler

With the autumn rains coming slowly into full swing, maintaining the lawn is a full swing activity as the children gather up the dead leaves, jump in and out of the puddles, save up the coloured leaves for their scrapbook or blow the white fluff before uprooting them. Playtime involves making paper boats, building up dams and forts with the mud, pebbles and water. Watching them reminds me of the real fun moments of life.

“A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.” R.C. Ferguson

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At times, adult life takes the toll on one. Full time jobs, basic material things to own, responsibilities piling up, family to raise, budgets to maintain oneself as well as the general things of life; all of them offer more stress now. Seeing the carefree joys of childhood in the small things of life, reminds one that happiness never lies in what is achieved but in how one perceives it. Although out-station trips, expensive gifts or treats have been a source of fun and enjoyment; real happiness can be found in open fields, long walks, quiet time with loved ones, engaging the kids in baking the cake or even dancing to the popular beats and making up own tune. The simple things have a great deal to offer. Let the breeze of the wind mess up our hair, fly with it to feel the smell of earth and the seasons it carries.

“A little nonsense now and then is cherished by the wisest men.” Roald Dahl

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One doesn’t need to dance to the beat in perfect synchronous manner. Each one of us ave our own tune. Instead of staying in the sidelines, getting up to dance and sing out of tune brings more joy. More than keeping the moments for the future; each day brings forth something new or better in us. Bucket lists are important; yet the little things of life have their own special treasures to offer. Learning to do them, like the little children, helps one to face life with it’s gifts, lessons, downhills and uphills; all as they come.

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes, Random Thoughts

To “Get Set…Go”

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“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Christopher Robin to Pooh, A.A. Milne

With careful precision, a pair of tiny grubby hands steadily held the sticks and fixed them onto the muddy ground. Nearby a pair of dried leaves lay scattered along with a couple of stones and more tiny sticks. The process of building a village map was done with great concentration and considerably deliberate thought. Little does the mind know whether the rain would wash away the model or if the thin sticks would be blown away. They make it because they really want to. For this toddler, getting set and doing is more important than only figuring out the possibility of whether it could be done. For them, to know they have to try it themselves.

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult” Seneca the Younger

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No one knows till they try. This basic innate courage to do the dream is slowly lost as the years progress. While the adult mind has learnt the ability to think; it tends to dwell more in the thinking than the doing part. The possibility of difficulties and fear of losing out features more prominently than getting down and doing. Eventually when one decides to get down to doing it, what runs out fast is “time”. Sad reality of time is once over, it can never be brought back.

“According to the ancient Chinese proverb, A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” John F. Kennedy

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Anything big happens with the initial small steps. While the whole world may say that “to think of the possible”; when the heart says the dream is possible, get to doing it. Things will always eventually work out and fall into place. Follow one’s own plan, instead f relying solely on the words around them. Listen, think and act; not simply listen, over think and procrastinate. Over time, one realizes that the beauty of what was once deemed impossible is priceless as it became possible. To experience such feelings of peace, contentment, fulfillment and happiness are few of the simple things that define our lives.

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.” Duke Ellington

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It Couldn’t Be Done
Edgar A. Guest

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done,
But he with a chuckle replied
That maybe it couldn’t, but he would be one
Who wouldn’t say so “till he tried.”
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
On his face. If he worried, he hid it.
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn’t be done, and he did it.

Somebody scoffed: “Oh, you’ll never do that;
At least no one ever has done it.”
But he took off his coat and took off his hat
And the first thing he knew he’d begun it.
With the lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
Without any doubting or quiddit,
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn’t be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
There are thousands to prophesy failure;
There are thousands to point out to you, one by one,
The dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle right in with a bit of a grin,
Then take off your coat and go to it;
Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing
That cannot be done, and you’ll do it.

“You can do anything you decide to do.” Amelia Earhart

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