Posted in Family and Society, Personal Musings, Quotes, Reflections, Work

More than Exist

While working in the first job opportunity after college, my brother had to move out to the new city. Over the next couple of months as the call duration and frequency to home decreased, my parents’ radar went into full frequency mode and it had grabbed yours truly. After all a couple of calls, the instinct sense that something was wrong was pretty strong. Whether it was by His Grace that a work travel opportunity had presented itself to his office or just a matter of chance; making the visit was an eye-opener. The short phone conversations and the decreased frequency of calls wasn’t just due to work stress but the unhappiness in doing something which he never wanted to. Though it took plenty of courage and risks; he did get out of the mess and went on to another office doing the advertisement projects that he had trained and wanted to.

“Get action. Do things; be sane; don’t fritter away your time; create, act, take a place wherever you are and be somebody; get action.” Theodore Roosevelt

We all get stuck in those unexpected ruts. Full of promise and hope of what was once good, mayn’t seem so a couple of months later. That is when it is time to call a temporary halt to reexamine the situation and find a path out. The tussle is between the surety of the present and the uncertainty of the next that causes one to choose the former. Yet in the long run, it isn’t just existence that drives one person forward, but the courage to take the path to do what one loves to do.

“We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us even in our soundest sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavour. It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.” Henry David Thoreau

The inner spirit has to stay strong. When things may go downhill for a time, take a break and choose to do something about it. Even though it may be a late attempt, but it is way better than to just exist. It is that spark in each of us, that gives the glow and a special meaning to the gift of life, time and love that we all have been fortunate to be blessed with.

Credo
by Jack London

I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark
should burn out in a brilliant blaze
than it should be stifled by dry-rot.

I would rather be a superb meteor
every atom of me in magnificent glow
than a sleepy and permanent planet.

The function of man is to live
not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.

 

Posted in Family and Society, Photography Art, poetry, Random Thoughts

Charm of Being Real

On one of the rare days when I got a couple of hours free towards the evening, with no pending domestic tasks and kids put to bed; it was the perfect time to browse through the social networking pages. On seeing pictures of the photo album posted my college girlfriend and her family to the Museum of Illusions (Doha), I had a pretty good couple of laughs. As the two kids had a picture of their smaller than them and minuscule parents, there was a bit of scare (as discovered during the retelling) when their parents had disappeared as an after-effect of the illusion. Besides the scare; considering the rush of visitors and fun moments, they all had an eventful day, candid moments captured as well as laughing memories to treasure.

Fast-forwarding to “real life” our life too holds various shades of ourselves. Illusions as some say, or the “different faces” as few call it. These are the cloaks one adorns on going through different matters of the day. While some may be echo our true selves, others hold the socially acceptable selves or the “deemed right faces”.

Through all these illusions and motions, one must never lose their own self. While one tries to conform to the socially acceptable norms and standards, losing own self may result in an illusion of sorts that one may never be able to figure out later. If that ever happens so, the chaos caused would be a difficult (but not impossible) conundrum to figure out. Be yourself, for each of us have our own prints of various kinds to leave behind in the world that we visit.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Bernard M. Baruch

Be Yourself
by Ellen Bailey
Why would you want to be someone else
When you could be better by being yourself
Why pretend to be someone you are not
When you have something they haven’t got

Cheating yourself of the life you have to live
Deprives others of that only which you can give
You have much more to offer by being just you
Than walking around in someone else’s shoes

Trying to live the life of another is a mistake
It is a masquerade; nothing more than a fake
Be yourself and let your qualities show through
Others will love you more for being just you

Remember that God loves you just as you are
To Him you are already a bright shining star
Family and friends will love you more too
If you spent more time practicing just being you

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Photography Art, Quotes, Stories Around the World, Work

Standing Strong

One of the longest suspension bridges of those days, this hybrid cable-stayed or suspension bridge; it was opened on May 24, 1883 to be the first fixed crossing over the East River, connecting the boroughs of Manhattan and Brooklyn. Renamed to Brooklyn Bridge (1915), proposals for this bridge were made in the early 19th century with the design plan initiated by architect John A. Roebling a famed canal engineer and bridge designer, completed by his son Washington A. Roebling. In those times, the initial design plans were considered to be a feat highly improbable to be accomplished. Yet applying the concepts of the known studies into practice in the modernization process, use of the wire-rope concept, suspension principles, anchorages and caissons.

“This is the vocation of our own and of every age: to grasp the knowledge that already exists, to make it our own, and in so doing to develop it further and raise it to a higher level; in thus appropriating it to ourselves we make it something different than it was before.” Georg Friedrich Wilhelm Hegel (1770-1831)

During during the initial surveys, an accident saw the amputation of Jon A. Roebling’s crushed toes, resulting in a tetanus infection leaving him in incapacitated and untimely death (June-July, 1869). As his son, Washington A. Roebling took over the project, the construction of the bridge continued and several improvements were made on the bridge design and the building of the two large pneumatic caissons which became the foundation of the two towers. Unfortunately a fire onsite (1870) in one of the pneumatic caissons caused him to suffer from decompression sickness, severely affecting his health and rendering him unable to move, talk or even visit the site.

Determined to continue the project, he had developed a code of communication with his wife using the only finger that he could move and tapping out the instructions against her arm. As for his wife, Emily Warren Roebling, she taught herself bridge construction, continued the day-to-day supervision and project management among other duties of the chief engineer. As recorded in McCullough’s The Great Bridge (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1972) that “nowhere in the history of great undertakings is there anything comparable” to Roebling conducting the largest and most difficult engineering project ever “in absentia.”

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” Arnold Schwarzenegger

Over the years, undergoing subtle changes and renovations, the Brooklyn Bridge still stands tall, a witness to exemplary will, strength and belief in ow dream, even in the face of strenuous hardship and hurdles. This great bridge recounts one of the most inspiring tales of motivation, perseverance and determination to own up their dream and make them come true.

In the face of repeated roadblocks, both father, son and his wife never gave up their dream. Though adversaries were rampant, they still found a way around it and completed one of the most finest structures in architecture, laying down a strong bind to the infrastructure that helped the economy flourish.

Each of us have our own set of snags as we set about a project. While some may be on a physical level, others may be at the personal front, or psychological or emotional extent. Facing all these impediments, one must always keep their true dream close to their heart. Where one can get support, take help. To know own strengths through struggles takes immense courage and iron will to stay on course and make sure it happens. As long as one thinks, plans, moves ahead, knows and firmly believes that one can do it, one will.

Posted in Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Reflections

Balance in the Wind

“ You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” Cayla Mills

Juggling through home and professional life is never easy, especially with family, kids and pets. In most situations, if the two adults and kids do their bit of the share, things fall into line. Yet what happens when the children are too small or physically challenged or here are not two, but only one pair of adult hands. Initially one may be able to tackle the situation, but later, one may feel quite defeated. This was experienced by a close friend of mine, with her husband transferred to another project for two weeks, a toddler with a cast (courtesy of a misjudged jump), one child sick with chickenpox and a deadline project on her work front. Like these, many similar situation may be experienced by us at certain points in our lifetime.

During those initial parts of the difficult days, it may be mentally and physically possible to cover all aspects alone. But when the going gets more tough, taking a step back and moving ahead may help things work out in the long run. While circumstances may get more trying, cribbing would never help. Instead deal with what ever is possible, as for the rest get help or prioritize the more important aspects at that point or course of time. Remember that the trees survive through the cold of winter as well, the hot rays of summer and the cold winds laced with thunderstorms of autumn. Though they may lose their leaves, flowers and branches; they still stand tall with their roots going deep. As the start of spring rejuvenates them, thy grow back. Likewise we too need to go deep into the roots of support system of friends, family and neighbourhood (we all have them for no one is an island), the tough times will gradually fade and life gets back to the normal (if not the same) footing.

“ Life is, at times, tough. And all we need to do is to prove that we are tougher than it.” Sanhita Baruah

The Oak Tree

A mighty wind blew night and day
It stole the oak tree’s leaves away
Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark
Until the oak was tired and stark

But still the oak tree held its ground
While other trees fell all around
The weary wind gave up and spoke.
How can you still be standing Oak?

The oak tree said, I know that you
Can break each branch of mine in two
Carry every leaf away
Shake my limbs, and make me sway

But I have roots stretched in the earth
Growing stronger since my birth
You’ll never touch them, for you see
They are the deepest part of me

Until today, I wasn’t sure
Of just how much I could endure
But now I’ve found, with thanks to you
I’m stronger than I ever knew

– Johnny Ray Ryder Jr

Posted in Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Reflections

The Flashes, the Pain and the Past

“Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.” Haruki Murakami

Waiting in the queue for a break in the traffic, the eyes had wandered over to the playground where a couple of teens were busy with their mock football match at one end. At the far end, a few were playing throw-ball. In the midst of the latter game, a heated argument followed by a flurry of fists resulting in two players walking off. Seeing these scenes triggered off the memory of the middle school wherein peer gangs were rampant and gangs were the norm. Selection for sports as well as arts revolved around the factor of being in the know or the select few. If a art geek decided to enroll for the selection in the softball team, putting the name down would be like writing in the water and similar for a football defender who liked to indulge their culinary urge. Watching my nieces and nephews as they go through their middle school, the bite of those yesteryear still sting but lessons learnt were valuable for life.

“Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.” Richard Kadrey

All of us have our cache of “bad memories”. Some we tend to carry along through the childhood to the adult phase. While others we may bury them, only that they tend to surface intermittently especially when least expected. There are those days that no matter how hard one tries, they gray clouds linger and cast shadows in the mind. 

“I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance.” Beryl Markham

Dealing with those harsh memories requires one to acknowledge it, accept it and make the stern choice to move on. To forget them may be really difficult, but learning to deal with them is a must. Those cliches and gangs of middle school still exist in the adult world, albeit in a more subtle manner. The choice is to learn and then move on. Getting trapped in one phase for long, results in the soul being frozen by the rampant thoughts. While one can’t do anything about the passed years, the reaction and choice of the present lies in own hands and how deals with the circumstances. As the bad moments crowd, the purpose of the present would be to make new memories suffused with warmth, joy and laughter to live the hours of now as well as tide over the future.

Memory

Memory engulfed so much evil,
without a count or bounds.
All the time life lied and lied,
there is no more trust in life.

Maybe, there are no cities,
maybe no green gardens,
just lives instead the power of ice,
and the salted oceans.

Maybe, the world is just all snow,
and a starlit road.
Maybe the world is all taiga
in the mind of God.

Varlim Shalimov

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes, Reflections, Work

Strain of the Indisposition

On the days when the work schedule drags, the events then on tend to go on in a discordant manner. Eventually on reaching home, with the usual things not done like dinner late, homework hours not supervised and the like; the entire mood sours down and the evenings end on an unhappy or dissatisfied note. While journalling such days and reading them later on, at times it’s how one learns to behave when things go beyond the expectation (especially when in a negative manner) that makes the biggest difference in the long run.

“The greatest joys of life are happy memories. Your job is to create as many of them as possible.” Brian Tracy

Emotional infection is a deadly thing. A chain effect triggered by it can have far reaching consequences; avoidable, unnecessary with a significant negative impact, spoiling relationships and makes the daily hours unpleasant, of discontent as well as unhappy. As the scales of the balance go awry, the urge to initiate the “blame game” and point fingers start soon, as compared to making efforts to try and reschedule to get back on track. Guarantee for everything or anything never exists in reality. There is always a chance of a miss or an error present even in the best laid plans, schedules or goals. When one lets their emotions fly unchecked, the consequences can go deadly and far reaching, be it on the professional, personal or domestic front. To keep the inner peace best within, learning how to handle the unexpected is necessary skill. Though this may take time and plenty of effort, they are all worth when the impact is taken into account. For words and memories have a far lasting effect, than targets or achievements as scored on paper.

“I am convinced that the greatest legacy we can leave our children are happy memories: those precious moments so much like pebbles on the beach that are plucked from the white sand and placed in tiny boxes that lay undisturbed on tall shelves until one day they spill out and time repeats itself, with joy and sweet sadness, in the child now an adult.” Og Mandino

No matter how many precautionary measures one may take; when things go haywire, take a quick breathe and continue on. The art of learning to manage any curve-ball lies in the way we behave to these sudden turns. Instead of fretting and getting dejected on the “why me, why now” aspect, settling and finding effective be it temporary or permanent solutions may help make the days (or evenings) end better. More than achievements, goals or occasions, what stays etched in the mind are “feelings”. The feeling of calm and happiness in the children as their parents return from work, the approach that another person feels or learns as the crisis period is sorted and the cumulative efforts taken to settle any environment are just few of the better emotional memories that linger and stay on as the years pass through.

“I’d like the memory of me
to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow
of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo
whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times
and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve,
to dry before the sun
of happy memories
that I leave when life is done.”
Helen Lowrie Marshall

Posted in Christian, Daily, Life, Personal Musings, Reflections

Shelter when Lost

While going for a walk with a rambunctious pet, getting caught in the wet fury of the nature and her elements was an unplanned and unprecedented event. Scrambling for a cover, it was a blessing to find the shelter in the barn. As the flashes of lightning began and the pounding of the rain increased in full measure; while the fortunate ones may have escaped the fury by Providence or His Grace, the reality that there may be many others who had been caught unawares would be drenched and soaked by now makes one feel blessed in the present circumstances.

“When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by.” (Exodus 33:22)

Every now and then, in our lives, one may reach certain points or stand stills wherein the tempest roars strong crushing the spirit both in the physical, mental and emotional sense. In those moments, all one longs is a brief respite, a form of shelter to regroup and regain the inner strength. That respite is found when under His Shelter. As experienced by the wayfarers, the gift of peace and shelter in His Wings had no precedent or parallel.

Echoing the opening lines of the hymn “Rock of Ages,” with its opening lines, “Rock of Ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee ”; the saving grace and mercy of God is such that His Presence will be with each one of us, helping us find refuge in Him at all times and on all occasions. As we experience and battle the unexpected furor or unprecedented upheavals, seeking the shelter of a temporary respite in His Hands helps us find our way back home.