Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Life

Dealing with AIDS

Arthur Ashe, one of the legendary Wimbledon Players, the only African-American man to win the Wimbledon and the U.S. and Australian Open had died of complications from AIDS at the age of 49 years. In 1983, it was believed that Ashe had contracted HIV from a blood transfusion which he received during his heart bypass surgery. For in those days, screening of blood for transmissible infectious agents were not done. During his illness , he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed, “Why did God have to select you for such a bad disease ?”

To this Arthur Ashe replied, “50 Million children started playing Tennis, 5 Million learnt to play Tennis, 500 000 learnt Professional Tennis, 50 Thousand came to Circuit, 5 Thousand reached Grand Slam, 50 reached Wimbledon, 4 reached the Semifinals, 2 reached the Finals and when I was holding the cup in my hand, I never asked God, “Why Me?” So now that I’m in pain how can I ask God,”Why Me?”

“We live in a completely interdependent world, which simply means we cannot escape each other. How we respond to AIDS depends, in part, on whether we understand this interdependence. It is not someone else’s problem. This is everybody’s problem.” Bill Clinton

Yesterday had marked the 30th Anniversary of World AIDS Day with the theme for the observance this year being “Know your status”. The main focus is to contain the disease and reach the 90-90-90 target. The latter is a treatment target to achieve by 2020 which would help end AIDS epidemic. The three targets include that 90% of all people with HIV will know their HIV status, 90% of all people with diagnosed HIV infection will receive sustained antiretroviral therapy and 90% of all people receiving antiretroviral therapy will have viral suppression. While we are on this track, an important aspect not to be sidelined is how the present population who are suffering from this disease are holding up and facing their inner turmoil.

“Because of the lack of education on AIDS, discrimination, fear, panic, and lies surrounded me.” Ryan White

Sometimes we ourselves are responsible for what affects us. While we do bear the brunt of the bad decisions, choices and mistakes that we make; sometimes things are not in our hands. While some ask the question of “why me”, others condemn themselves for their past errors wondering how can they live or forgive themselves. Alone the burden of the disease is hard to bear. When we add the feeling of guilt and depression as well as melancholy, living becomes difficult. Forgiveness is not just a great gift to bestow on others, it’s also something that allows us to be free. “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”(1 John 1:9)

Our God is a forgiving God as seen in the scriptures. For even when we pay the price for the wrongs that we have done, as long as we resolve to turn over to the right path, our Lord will protect us in His Hands. For forgiveness frees us to be better people through God. As John 14:27 says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” Even when we suffer from the mistakes that we have made, when we submit to the Lord, we gain our strength from His Words. “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

“My name is Ryan White. I am sixteen years old. I have hemophilia, and I have AIDS.” Ryan White

For those who are affected by the disease for no known fault of theirs like Arthur Ashe, the question of “why me” lingers in the mind. Yet what we should remember is that, the Lord’s plan is not known to all. Many a time what happens may not make any sense, but when we look back and view the events that have taken place; we realize that everything had their own purpose. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” As the scriptures have shown that the Lord works in miraculous ways in His Time. What we as man can do is to put our trust in His Words, pour our hearts to Him and cloth ourselves with faith in His Words.

“Never, never, never give up.” Winston Churchill

As time and again have proven, the Lord never abandons us as long as we keep our faith in Him intact. For He walks by us at all times and when we are tired He carries us mentally, spiritually, emotionally and even physically indirectly or directly. Despite being weighed down by disease, the Lord will give us the strength and courage to face each day. “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.”(2 Corinthians 4:8-11)

“The most important thing in illness is never to lose heart.” Nikolai Lenin

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Photography Art, Stories Around the World

Danger of Anger

One of the most powerful emotions of man that can have very severe consequences is anger. As time and history has even proven, anger not only causes mayhem but also mass destruction with deadening consequences. What we never realize that the anger is more deadly for the person who carries than it perpetually than one who tries to vent it. To quote Baptist Beacon, “ Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

As an old English proverb goes,“Anger is often more hurtful than the injury that caused it.” An anger stewed on can grow stronger generating resentment and hatred along with it and eventually fixes itself onto the mind, body and soul echoing in the thoughts, actions and even dreams. Finally it gets fueled by displeasure ultimately swelling and bursting into flames which become irreconcilable and irreversible. When we look back, we wonder what was the need for all of it. “If you kick a stone in anger you will hurt your foot. Korean saying”

As Apostle Paul had taught in Ephesians 4:26,””In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” For carrying this burden is tiresome and lonely. With every hour we fuel the anger, we lose twice the precious time of our peace. While certain occasions may feel like anger is justified, it doesn’t bring any solution just creates a negative impact. As William Arthur Ward had said, “It is wise to direct your anger towards problems — not people; to focus your energies on answers — not excuses.”

Hoarding and storing up the anger is like handling a bag of mouldy and stale potatoes. Not only is it irksome, but it also wastes space in the cellar but also spreads the mould and rot to the other edible items. “If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. Chinese Proverb”

A Bag of Potatoes

The student asked the teacher: “You are so wise. You are always in a good mood, you never get angry. Help me to be like that.” The teacher agreed and asked the student to bring potatoes and a transparent bag. “If you get angry at someone and harbor a grudge,” said the teacher, “then take this potato.” On one side write your name, on the other the name of the person with whom the conflict occurred, and put this potato in the bag. – And it’s all? – puzzled asked student. “No,” answered the teacher. You should always carry this bag with you. And every time when someone is offended, add potatoes to it. The student agreed … Some time passed. The student pack was replenished with several more potatoes and became quite heavy. It was always very uncomfortable to carry around. In addition, the potato that he put at the very beginning began to deteriorate. It was covered with slippery bloom, some sprouted, some flowered and began to produce a sharp unpleasant smell. The student came to the teacher and said: – It is already impossible to carry with you. Firstly, the bag is too heavy, and secondly, the potatoes spoiled. Offer something else.

But the teacher said: – The same thing happens in your soul. When you are angry with someone, you are offended, then a heavy stone appears in your soul. You just do not immediately notice. Then the stones become more and more. Acts become habits, habits – in character, which gives rise to fetid vices. And it is very easy to forget about this cargo, because it is too heavy to carry it with you all the time. I gave you the opportunity to observe the whole process from the outside. Every time you decide to be offended or, on the contrary, offend someone, think whether you need this stone. Our vices are generated by ourselves. Do you need to carry a bag of spoiled potatoes behind your back?

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings

Choice of Flight or Fight

As I was reading the reviews of few movies, many were based on the trope of either the hero or heroine struggling in one town, get their heart broken, dreams smashed and then they pack their bags, finally reinventing themselves in a new place.

This cliché wins the crowd almost all the time. Maybe it’s because it centers on the fact that we can win any struggle by changing our environment, resetting our frame of mind and then give a fresh try. The only catch is that we always believe the guise of being bold to step outside our comfort zone and renew our positive forces is enough to get our dreams going all the time. To an extent this may help. For at times we do need to detach, step outside our regular zone and take a chance for change. Yet this strategy doesn’t always work.

For some, running away from the problems may not work and we are thrown into the state of chaos again. Instead of embracing and dealing with the discomfort and sorting out the mess, we leave falsely believing that doing so will give us the control of calling the shots. But on running away we are adding to an indefinite issue of our emotional mess and trauma. Finally the clutter will seep through every facet of our life, ranging from work to our social and even mental life. As Haruki Murakami quoted, “Distance might not solve anything, no matter how far you run.”

We can’t write a new chapter without completing the old one or closing it with an abrupt finish. If we do so, there is a chance that we will flutter about in the new chapter. This fairy-tale world that we live in for now will be overturned by the baggage of the past and problems or loose ends that were never resolved. Instead we will eventually bleed out at minor scratches. Such an existence will be a terrible one. Eventually the time will come when we lose our roots and forget who we were, to start with.

The art of life rests on our understanding of when to stay and when to leave, of when to fight or when is flight the answer. True that the art does lie in reining our positive energies and our focus, striving to step out of our comfort zone and explore new horizons when required. Yet the art also lies in staying when the initial reaction is to flee and also to focus on what truly matters even if it unsettles us. The primal fear of man is being stuck in a rut of discontent and indecisiveness of whether the right choices were made. Yet all the “ifs” can be fought only if challenge the fear, face it, rise up higher than it and then fight it down. Then the fear will shrink away when it matters. To refuse to run when it really matters and stand our ground will make all the difference in the long run.

Posted in Daily, Life, Personal Musings, Random Thoughts

Light of the Stained Glass

Daily challenges are thrown to us in different forms. A late morning, rejected interview, difficult exam, kids late for school, flat tyre in the middle of the morning commute, merchandise late, business meetings rescheduled or clashing and worst of all, when you have deadlines nearing with hoards of work unfinished. And at times in the middle of the entire fiasco, life throws us a curve ball when we least expect it.

Imperatively it’s easier to buckle down under all the stress and give up so easily. Yet the beauty of getting everything done at the end of the day with a few compromises depending on the context makes all the hassles worthwhile.

During the haywire, it’s keeping the calm and cool is severely tested. Many a time the urge to snap out at someone is there, even if the latter is not at fault. But that’s when we have to take a pause and remember that there are people out there who have it even worse. Everyone has their bad days and good days, but it’s how we deal with the bad that makes us prepared to enjoy the good days. No ship can survive the ocean calm without getting through the storms.

As Elisabeth Kübler-Ross said,“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.” Just like the stained glass, there is a lot of work going into each and every one of us, as trials, tribulations, triumphs and even tests of life. Yet through all these marks of life, seizing each day as it comes and still trying to glow from within is what makes us beautiful. 

Posted in Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World

The Price of Over-Thinking

One of the drawbacks to man is that we over-think a lot or to put it simply, we do a lot of speculations. The biggest disadvantage to this is that we unnecessarily work ourselves up, creating a whole lot of stress; not just to ourselves but even to those around us. Some of us may heard about the story “Want to borrow a jack ?”. It tells about over-speculation and the trouble it had created. For those of us who haven’t heard of the story; it is as follows.

“Want to borrow a jack?”

“A fellow was speeding down a country road late at night and BANG! went a tire. He got out and looked but he had no jack. Then he said to himself. ‘Well, I’ll just walk to the nearest farmhouse and borrow a jack.’ He saw a light in the distance and said, ‘Well, I’m in luck; the farmer’s up. I’ll just knock on the door and say I’m in trouble, would you please lend me a jack? And he’ll say, why sure, neighbor, help yourself, but bring it back.’ He walked on a little farther and the light went out so he said to himself, ‘Now he’s gone to bed, and he’ll be annoyed because I’m bothering him so he’ll probably want some money for his jack. And I’ll say, all right, it isn’t very neighborly but I’ll give you a quarter.And he’ll say, do you think you can get me out of bed in the middle of the night and then offer me a quarter? Give me a dollar or get yourself a jack somewhere else.’

“By the time he got to the farmhouse the fellow had worked himself into a lather. He turned into the gate and muttered. ‘A dollar! All right, I’ll give you a dollar. But not a cent more! A poor devil has an accident and all he needs is a jack. You probably won’t let me have one no matter what I give you. That’s the kind of guy you are.’

“Which brought him to the door and he knocked angrily, loudly. The farmer stuck his head out the window above the door and hollered down, ‘Who’s there? What do you want?’ The fellow stopped pounding on the door and yelled up, ‘You and your stupid jack! You know what you can do with it!’” There are many variations of the same story, “borrowing the jack” but the essence is the same.

This is what often happens to many of us. In our life, we often land into problems that we can actually easily handle. Instead of facing them with calm and patience keeping a positive attitude; we behave with blind anger thinking of imagined wrongs and make enemies of people who may actually help us. The sad truth is we don’t realize it until someone else asks us with what actually happened. It only then we realize that we having been making a mountain out of a molehill. 

So at the end of the day, it’s easier to go with the flow than to over-think and end up being disappointed. In fact, less of speculations may result in us getting a lovely surprise instead.