Tag: relationships

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Reflections, Stories Around the World

From One’s Perspective

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

The Minister travelled for days by train and car and boat to one of the furthest islands in the nation. As he surveyed the bleak but inspiring landscape, he turned to a local villager and said: “You’re very remote here, aren’t you?” She responded: “Remote from what?”

The scenario of the glass being half empty to half full, or the grass being green on the other side; have been faced by most of us at some point of time or the other. The common thread of thinking running through these moments is “our perception and the reality of what happens”.

“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.” Aldous Huxley

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Perspective has been one of the concepts, since the early days, which has been studied and attempts have been made to quantify or qualitatively assess it by mathematicians, philosophers, scientists as well as artists. Despite all the theories proposed, research as well as insight; till this day perception doesn’t exist by itself but leans heavily on our innate beliefs, opinion, experience and knowledge.

“No man has the right to dictate what other men should perceive, create or produce, but all should be encouraged to reveal themselves, their perceptions and emotions, and to build confidence in the creative spirit.” Ansel Adams

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While one’s perspective may be right for some, it may be wrong for the other. Then the question arises, how do we draw the limits or the line? The practical aspect is possible as long as we ground ourselves in reality and lean on the principle of “to do unto others as one would want to be done unto oneself”. Simply put, as long as we learn to treat others with mutual respect, equality, freedom, justice, kindness and understanding; all the perspectives would reach the common target and purpose of doing good.

“What I need is perspective. The illusion of depth, created by a frame, the arrangement of shapes on a flat surface. Perspective is necessary. Otherwise there are only two dimensions. Otherwise you live with your face squashed up against a wall, everything a huge foreground, of details, close-ups, hairs, the weave of the bed-sheet, the molecules of the face. Your own skin like a map, a diagram of futility, crisscrossed with tiny roads that lead nowhere. Otherwise you live in the moment. Which is not where I want to be.” Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Writing on the Stone

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Instead of focusing on that circumstances that you cannot change – focus strongly and powerfully on the circumstances that you can.” Joy Page

Bad days, we all have had our fair share of them. While we may envy others’ and wonder why do our days go wrong, what we have to think about instead is, why it went wrong. Sometimes the answer doesn’t lie with us, but in the circumstances that surround us. Either ways, when to know to let go is as important as when to learn to appreciate the good things that we are blessed with.

“Whatever good things we build end up building us.” Jim Rohn

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Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Setbacks are no stranger to each one of us. Every person has their own share of struggles, stress and worries. At some point in our lives, we all have been deceived, struck down and lost relationships. Learning to survive and cope solely depends on how much we let go and how much we keep within ourselves. Being at the receiving end of the “wrongs” hurts a lot, but remembering the “good things done for us” makes those setbacks seem less painful. Carve the good done for us in solid rock to withstand the troubled waters and gales when they strike again. As for the “bad moments”, learn from them and write them on the sand so that over time, the winds will ease the sorrows and pain, rendering the forgiveness that each one of us are due to receive.

“You can live your life angry, bitter, mad at somebody or even guilty, not letting go of your own mistakes, but you won’t receive the good things God has in store.” Joel Osteen

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“Two friends were walking through the desert. At one stage in their journey, they had an argument and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything he wrote in the sand, ‘Today my best friend slapped me in the face.’
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to have a wash. The one who had been slapped got stuck in a mire and started drowning, but his friend saved him. After he had recovered from his shock, he wrote on a stone, ‘Today my best friend saved my life.’
The friend who slapped and saved his best friend asked him, ‘After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write in stone, why?’ The other friend replied, ‘When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.’”

“The more you talk about it, rehash it, rethink it, cross analyze it, debate it, respond to it, get paranoid about it, compete with it, complain about it, immortalize it, cry over it, kick it, defame it, stalk it, gossip about it, pray over it, put it down or dissect its motives it continues to rot in your brain. It is dead. It is over. It is gone. It is done. It is time to bury it because it is smelling up your life and no one wants to be near your rotted corpse of memories and decaying attitude. Be the funeral director of your life and bury that thing!” Shannon L. Alder

Source:https://vk.com/monahos
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Posted in Life, poetry, Reflections, Stories Around the World

It Lies Within

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“When your face is cold and boredom,
When you live in irritation and argument,
You do not even know what kind of anguish you are,
And you do not even know what sorrow you are.
When are you kinder than blue in the sky,
And in the heart and light, and love, and participation,
You do not even know what song you are,
And do not even know what happiness you are!”
Edward Asadov

In the world rich of languages, one language common and understood by all is the “language of emotions.” When in the constant pursuit to understand and live the “good emotions”, we hunt down for “happiness, joy, peace, love” to cite a few, in every nook and corner. Little do we realize that good emotions especially happiness and peace knocks on every door. To all people and at all occasions and moments; whether sad or cheerful, depressed or joyful, energetic or listless and devoid of imagination; the “good emotions” aspire to give us the hope for a better tomorrow.

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Source:https://vk.com/we_live_a

Unfortunately the language of happiness is more often misunderstood. “Happiness”, “Kindness”or “Harmony” for instance doesn’t enter any one’s life with a thunderous roar, fireworks or celebration. True that there are events induced by these emotions that man celebrates; yet those occasions are few and far between. These “good emotions” are always around. They echo the word, “Look for me not around you, but within you”. Good emotions go hand in hand with silence. They are hidden and manifest themselves imperceptibly as the days goes by, in the simple details of life. The earlier we understand this, the more time we get to enjoy “good moments” and treasure the memories as long as we breathe.

“An old man lived in the village. The whole village was tired of him; he was always gloomy, he constantly complained and was always in a bad mood. The longer he lived, the viler he became and more poisonous were his words. People did their best to avoid him because his misfortune was contagious. He created the feeling of unhappiness in others. But one day, when he turned eighty, an incredible thing happened. Instantly everyone started hearing the rumor: ‘The old man is happy today, he doesn’t complain about anything, smiles, and even his face is freshened up.’ The whole village gathered around the man and asked him, “What happened to you?” The old man replied, ‘Nothing special. Eighty years I’ve been chasing happiness and it was useless. And then I decided to live without happiness and just enjoy life. That’s why I’m happy now.’”

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
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Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Kindness Beyond the Haste

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.” Henri Frederic Amiel

Among the many conveniences of the modern world, one of the qualities that is too often lost in the melee of achieving something in our lives, is true humaneness. Very often acts and events related to sharing in society happen, where it involves giving one when having two or giving away the “extras” or “what we no longer use”. Yet when we share while sacrificing a bit of the materialistic pleasures for ourselves and not bragging about it; that merits a true sense of humaneness not restricted simply to what we can share if we have, but lending a hand whenever and how ever we can.

“Don’t let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you love. And most importantly, be kind to others, even if you don’t like them.” Stacy London

SourcE:https://vk.com/public75290000
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SourcE:https://vk.com/public75290000

We all have our own set of people who we don’t really like or approve of. It may be true that they may done us harm at some point in our lives; yet we also have worn their shoes for time. As in there may have been many instances when we may have unknowingly caused hurt to others. No one can please everybody and one can never be always in everybody’s good books. We all have our days. Yet when ever we can, we should burn down all the grudges and learn to help. For man is a collective being, we learn from , through and with others. No matter who or what anybody has done to us at some time, be the reason to do them treat them unkindly when we can.

“It’s not our job to play judge and jury, to determine who is worthy of our kindness and who is not. We just need to be kind, unconditionally and without ulterior motive, even – or rather, especially – when we’d prefer not to be.” Josh Radnor

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

“In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. ‘How much is an ice cream sundae?’, the boy asked. “50 cents,” replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it.
‘How much is a dish of plain ice cream?’ he inquired. Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress was a bit impatient. “35 cents,” she said brusquely. The little boy again counted the coins. ‘I’ll have the plain ice cream,’ he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and departed.

When the waitress came back, she began wiping down the table and then swallowed hard at what she saw. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were 15 cents – her tip.”

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Posted in Daily, Food, Stories Around the World, Work

Stepping Above the Complaints

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Going for a walk in the farm can be a tedious if one isn’t fond of trekking or nature hikes. For along the paths, there are numerous small stones strewn alongside. While they were initially put in place to mark boundaries for the sown fields and as paths, with the frequent winds and foot traffic they often get displaced and serve more as a hindrance than as a boundary. As i was walking, stepping over the stones; it brought memories of the footpaths near the sites where construction was going on. One has to watch the way, not just for stones but also for manholes, cement, gravel and the like.

“We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them.” William Arthur Ward

All this reminds me of life, as we go on our route. We come across numerous “stones” en-route. Some we kick about, some we step over and few get into our footwear. Along the way, we keep on complaining and rambling about how inconvenient things are. But alas, it doesn’t change anything.

“When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.” Eckhart Tolle

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Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts
Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Life throws her challenges to us, shaping us and hoping that we would learn from it. By complaining and ranting we just go off track and lose purpose. Instead, finding a way around it, makes the day more interesting, delightful and meaningful; worth the time, energy and peace well-spent.

“People visit a wise man complaining about the same problems over and over again. One day, he decided to tell them a joke and they all roared with laughter. After a few minutes, he told them the same joke and only a few of them smiled. Then he told the same joke for a third time, but no one laughed or smiled anymore.
The wise man smiled and said: ‘You can’t laugh at the same joke over and over. So why are you always crying about the same problem?’”

“It doesn’t matter what cards you’re dealt. It’s what you do with those cards. Never complain. Just keep pushing forward. Find a positive in anything and just fight for it.” Baker Mayfield

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

When Measured By the Same

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.” Malcolm Forbes

All of us have our own set of scales to assess people. Interestingly what we don’t realize is that the way we measure others and declare that they don’t meet up to the mark, would astound us when we try to measure ourselves by the same scales. Our existence in this world reflects on the balanced act of how we treat others as well as the standards by which we set ourselves to live by. For both to be synchronous to attain a harmonious and peaceful existence, one would need to remove the beam from one’s own eyes before removing the mote from the eyes of others. For the shame in oneself when the scales are reversed will be disheartening and tragic.

“If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” J. K. Rowling

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Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

The wife of a poor man was cooking butter, and he was selling it in one of the groceries. His wife was cooking oil in the form of circles weighing a kilogram. And he sold them to the grocer and bought the necessities for his house. One day, the grocer doubted the weight of the oil he bought and, after weighing each circle, saw that they weighed 900 grams. He was angry with the poor man. The next day, when the poor man came to him, he met him in anger and said to him, “I will not buy from you anymore, because you sell me butter, saying that it weighs a kilogram, and it weighs only 900 grams.”
Then the poor man, being upset and dropping his head said, “ We, oh my lord, do not have scales, but I bought sugar from you and made it for myself to measure, in order to weigh the butter with it.”
“Know that your measure will be measured and you!”

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, poetry, Reflections, Work

For “Better” Tomorrow

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Many of us keep planners and appointments, sometimes a s a part of our work requirements and other times to get our work done. Not to get the context wrong, keeping planners is important for without a plan, one would be steered wrong and get lost in the chaos. Yet as life will teach us, there are certain that we can’t keep postponing or rescheduling waiting for the “better tomorrow”.

As we go about our day, keeping a continuous watch on our humaneness is a must irrespective of whether we are in a lack of time or stressed and so on. The more we make excuses, the higher the chances that things will be put off again for the “next tomorrow”. The joy of the gift of “present” or “today” is realized only when we look back at the “yesterday” from the “tomorrows” that we enter. Unless we learn to treat the relationships of today with respect, give time for oneself today and be kind now; there would be no guarantee that tomorrow we may be able to do so. Being aware of this is important as “Time” is known for its fickle nature.

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Learn from it… tomorrow is a new day.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

We think tomorrow we will be more diligent
And better, more useful, kind
Today we are rude, but tomorrow we are gentle,
After all, tomorrow we will be wiser.

Tomorrow we will see an old friend,
And tomorrow we will write to our relatives.
And tomorrow we will do someone a favor,
Not only our own, but someone else’s.

Tomorrow we will forgive each other without reproach,
And tomorrow we will understand each other.
And tomorrow we will apply the whole experience of spiritual lessons,
and will carry it out!

Tomorrow we will repent in the life of a barren
In the last death-delirium.
Dress naked, feed the hungry,
Share someone else’s need.

So in the plans for tomorrow, then hidden in the fog,
Year after year is carried away …
And what if tomorrow takes and deceives?
What if it doesn’t come at all?

Vera Kushnir

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Source:https://vk.com/public138314547
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Source:https://vk.com/public138314547