Tag: relationships

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Echoes In Us

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of beautiful marbles. The girl had some candies with her. The boy offered to give the girl all his marbles in exchange for all her candies. The girl agreed. The boy gave all the marbles to the girl, but secretly kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble for himself. The girl gave him all her candies as she had promised. That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn’t sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some more tasty candies from him the way he had hidden his best marble.”

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Although this is a childhood tale; at some time in our lives, we would have behaved a little like the boy or the girl. For those of us who remember those moments, the niggling sense of unease fills us all, disturbing our inner peace and quiet. On occasions like these when one looks back, what comes forefront to mind is that, “Was the holding back worth it or would the peace brought by honesty made our day more beautiful instead ?”

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” Thomas Jefferson

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As we grow older and mature with age, we realize that there are many things in life that are more worth when shared than kept hidden. There would be occasions that would call for an honest response on one hand, but would cause unrest and distress on the other hand. Dealing with an honest attitude is like stepping into murky waters sometimes. Brute honesty while well appreciated can cause more hurt when delivered in a thoughtless and tactless manner. Being honest isn’t confined to being brute. Instead one can be honest with a heavy dose of kindness laced with gentleness. The endpoint is the clarity of the conscience. There is nothing more disturbing that having a niggling thought intruding the mind, like a pesky buzz near the ear. As we strive to make sure that the conscience is always at ease, life becomes simple, better and sweet.

“A clear conscience is more valuable than wealth.” Tagalog (Filipino) saying

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Posted in Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World, Work

Finding the Peace

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“As we all know, there is inner beauty and outer beauty. If we examine inner beauty, to me there is nothing more beautiful than inner peace, in a man or a woman.” Alice Greczyn

Nature has always withstood the test of time, surviving amidst the chaos and regaining the inner calm from the storms. Likewise, we humans are always in a constant silent battle between the external influences and the inner being in order to preserve one’s harmony, peace and quiet. As the outer forces try to knock us off our track; staying true to oneself echoes to the world that each one rules oneself. Even in the midst of the chaos, true inner peace still rules us as long as we remember to acknowledge, nourish and cherish its’ existence.

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The parable of peace

Once a rich man wanted to hang a picture in his room, at one glance at which he would feel at ease in his soul. And for the most “quiet” picture, he promised to pay one million. Learning of this, artists from different parts of the country began to send him their work. After reviewing thousands of paintings, the rich man chose only two, which seemed to him the most successful.
The first was bright, rainbow and peaceful. On it, the artist depicted an absolutely idyllic landscape: the crystal clear blue lake glistened brightly under the rays of the summer sun, the trees standing around stretched towards the water with their branches; majestic white swans cut through the watery surface, and on the horizon could be seen a village and graceful horses grazing in the meadow.
The second picture is radically different from the first. On it, the artist depicted high cliffs, at the foot of which the sea raged. The storm waves were so high that they reached almost the middle of the cliff. Low dark gray clouds obscured the sky, and at the top of the cliff were frightening silhouettes of trees, illuminated by flashes of lightning.
To call this picture calm even the language did not turn. But, if you look closely, you could see a small bush that grew out of a gap in the rock. On it was a small nest with a tiny bird inside. She hatched out her chicks with a proud and imperturbable air, without worrying at all about the insanity surrounding her.

What picture do you think the rich man chose? Of course, the second. Because it radiates peace of mind much stronger than the first. After all, real peace is manifested not when everything is quiet and serene around, but when, in spite of everything that happens around you, you continue to keep calm inside yourself!

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Posted in Christian, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Work

Echoes of Praise

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Not to be cheered by praise, not to be grieved by blame, but to know thoroughly one’s own virtues or powers are the characteristics of an excellent man.” Satchel Paige

“Praise” is one of the more dangerous attributes even when given free of choice has the potential to destroy a person, settling on one slowly and like rust begins to erode. Then a person who was once mentally and emotionally strong becomes dependent on praise, craving for it.

“You can’t let praise or criticism get to you. It’s a weakness to get caught up in either one.” John Wooden

When the “words of praise” are not heard; one begins to look for them everywhere, at times compromising on one’s standards, abilities and perfection just to hear those words. Then efforts are made to hear those words to boost the self vanity, to the extent that one fails to acknowledge the actions, consequences and reality behind the empty words of praise.

“The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.” Norman Vincent Peale

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When there is no praise, the mood then deteriorates, things get worse; all because “no one appreciates me.” As a result, the person is not working from the heart with the fruits of the Spirit in mind. Work, interactions and character becomes a need to appease one’s self-esteem, accumulate more pleasant opinions about himself and not an honest reflection of one’s true being. The opinions of other people though momentary, changes our essence.

“The biggest challenge is to not be affected by praise because a lot of it is not from the heart. Being true to yourself about your strengths and weaknesses, when everyone out there has a strong opinion and wants to give advice, is another challenge.” Tena Desae

It is sad if we do good deeds only for the sake of this short flash – “I was praised.” For woe beckons to the man who spends his strength, effort and energy to earn the approval of others. One of the terrible sins is vanity, because after vanity and praise is lost a person is left with nothing.

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Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections

After We Go

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“What remains after us when we are gone? Will it be of bills, cars, apartments, houses or debts, loans, mortgages as a part of the physical aspects.” 

“What will be left after you when you are gone? Will it be memories of shortcomings, the unsaid “love”, grudges,  resentment, bitterness and pride. What will remain? Our creativity, our poems, our songs or will it be our indifference, our arrogance, our licentiousness or rumors laced with good fame or a thin reputation?”

“You make your mark by being true to who you are and letting that be your staple.”  Kat Graham

This question has seared our hearts and minds knowingly or unknowingly. For leaving a legacy behind is no easy feat. Besides requiring purpose, direction and effort; it also requires us to develop a sense of humanness to touch hearts as we journey on in life.

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“What will our children say about us and what will our grandchildren remember?” For to leave behind treasured memories of love, kindness, forgiveness, laughter, vitality, hope, acceptance, generosity, sacrifice, respect, wisdom, humility, patience, faith; every day you need to ask yourself the question: “What will be left after me when I will not be?”

“All good men and women must take responsibility to create legacies that will take the next generation to a level we could only imagine.” Jim Rohn

Building a legacy doesn’t mean it is confined to family alone, but also encompasses shared memories in the minds and hearts of society, colleagues and neighbours. After our time in this world, we may not be able to carry out anything but only leave behind. While ancient civilizations practiced burying the remains with materials for after life; in reality we haven’t been able to provide scientific evidence of after life. Yet what we have is the words, actions and memories of today and yesterday for the future to know, remember and share. Wouldn’t it be better to do something today that tomorrow would treasure ? Above all, leaving behind a legacy would make our time, be it short or long; more fruitful besides being mentally, spiritually and emotionally satisfying and being content, happy and peaceful within.

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” Shannon L. Alder

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Work

Hearts That Support

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.” Khalil Gibran

We all have our own crosses as well as ups and downs in life to bear. Despite the dark moments, we still manage to revive a bit of ourselves and get our footing back on track. In the process of getting up, unknowingly or known to us, we rely on select few who give us their support, strength and the courage to start again.

“I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death.” Leonardo da Vinci

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They give excuses for us, when we don’t explain ourselves. They accept our shortcomings and acknowledge the apologies that we give or turn a blind eye when we neglect to ask for pardon. At our worst, they lift us up, even if that means putting our priorities first by setting theirs aside. They don’t try to flag down when they fall or ask for attention on our busy or light days. They accept us for who we are. Yet what we often fail to realize is that, these hearts are few in number and tend to fail when untended for long.

When we rise up to stand, it would do well to remember these noble hearts for they are helped us to regain ground. For in the due course of time, when these good hearts give up on us; our skies will fail to clear up and darkness will linger on. A heart doesn’t turn need much to stay warm, just a little bit of love and kindness once in a while.

“Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort.” Humphry Davy

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Quotes, Reflections

Over Time

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

With the advent of technology and innovations, the old adage that “old is gold” doesn’t hold true in every scenario. For instance, the Internet Era and the World Wide Web have brought a hoard of information and data to our fingertips with its’ own share of pros and cons. The “gadget era” has revolutionized the art of cooking, communication and even decor.

Yet as we grow older, we discover certain things are like wine and cheese, antiques and fine art. The longer we treasure, maintain and nurture them, the more priceless they become. Human behaviour as well as relationships often fall into this category.

“If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves.” Maria Edgeworth

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Over time as we grow older, we begin to better understand silence, read between the lines and peek into the souls of people. It comes with experience to those who are open to life and learn from the lessons as well as situations that we encounter. Slowly we learn to appreciate time, memories and moments. We begin to approach life cautiously, slowly and with respect learning to speak soft, touch gently and embrace warmer. We learn to thaw the frozen hearts person with the warmth of our experiences. We would have learnt from the bitterness of loss and the joy of gaining, thereby helping us to understand the inner silence of others has we encounter.

“The greatest gift you can give someone is your time because when you give your time, you are giving a portion of your life that you will never get back.” Anonymous

Over time we learn to treasure and respect relationships. Turning aside flamboyance, superficiality and grandiosity and instead focusing on nurturing the kindness, respect, love and sincerity which become the main measures by which we choose our close circle. Over time as we become wiser, we discover the beauty of life to make our own niche into the world we were born into.

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Work

Penning the Gratitude

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Develop an attitude of gratitude and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” -Brian Tracy

The other day when I had received a “thank you” note, numerous emotions and thoughts had surfaced in my mind. One of the lost arts of modern living is the art of saying “thank you”. To be very honest, the frequency of my gratitude for favours, gifts and time spent with dear ones has been slowly dwindling. To an extent, we are all caught by the crazy melee of the daily hustle that life throws us in. Yet when we scrutinize and retrospect, we realize that time can be actually made when we really want something to be done.

“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it all into words is all that is necessary.” -Margaret Cousins

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It doesn’t take much to frequently write, text or forward a few lines to dear people that you love them. When there is time, the power of spoken words can balm the soul when tired, weak, drained or listless. We are all masters of our own time. To refer to the fact that we do not have time shows the misplacement of our priorities. It doesn’t take much time, just a few seconds to pen down a few words to our loved ones. It takes few seconds to jot down a few words of gratitude and hope to those who have brightened our day. Take time and write. It will not only please us but also spread the warmth around us as well within us. In these busy times, there are few dear people in our life that we can comfortably lean on and they need to be cherished. Even though we may start off late, infrequently and small, a few worded thoughts of kindness, love and gratitude a day can do wonders to all and can soon turn into a pleasant habit.

“Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life and you’ll find that you have more of it.” -Ralph Marston

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