relationships – Page 20 – Sugar And Spice… Among Other Things

Family and Society, Life, Photography Art, Reflections

True from Fake

Posted on November 29, 2018October 15, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

My daughter once asked my mother how to distinguish true love from fake.
“It’s very simple,” the mother replied.
“… because I love!” Is true love.
“I love because …” is a fake.

This little snippet of conversation which I had read in my social pages has a profound meaning in today’s conditional world. These days everything comes with strings attached. With biased opinions and comments scouring the review pages, consumer markets and even job opportunities, nothing seems fair in the world of today. Add to it, relationships are getting soured as each took the other for granted, and forgetting basic respect and humaneness. With the many weddings and “I do” often said, as well as the friendship bonds made, where does “the love” go as time flies.

While we profess our declarations of undying love, when it is followed by “because” it is wise to suppose that this love will not last as the features so loved will change like the weather. For those of us who have our own close knit of friends and family, have you ever wondered about the care and concern of a loved one ? They keep a watch over us, doing things without asking and many a time, forcing us to wake up and move ahead during roadblocks. They never loved us because of our assets of fun, frolic and gaiety or having an eye on the benefits that their relationship with us would bring them in the future. The commitment and care they gave us was because they loved us. They are in the circle that we should fight to protect, cherish and honour as they put actions and deeds above words because they love us. So while we try to ascertain “the real” love, never forget to remember them as the guidelines of what selfless love should be like.

Source: https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source: https://vk.com/public75290000

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Source: https://vk.com/public75290000

Source: https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Source: https://vk.com/public75290000

Source: https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Daily, Family and Society, Photography Art, Quotes

Enjoy the Wave

Posted on November 28, 2018October 15, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“The story is about a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He’s enjoying the wind and the fresh air-until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore. “My God, this is terrible,” the wave says. “Look what’s going to happen to me!” Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, “Why do you look so sad?” The first wave says, “You don’t understand! We’re all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn’t it terrible?” The second wave says, “No, you don’t understand. You’re not a wave, you’re part of the ocean.” Mitch Albom

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source: https://vk.com/public75290000

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

One of the constraints of man is we focus a lot on our own issues forgetting that our existence is not by being alone but as a part of a bigger network. We devote our time and energy towards the end goal, little realizing that one day we will all crash just like everyone else. That is why the joy of the ride should be more important than reaching the final post. Although it is imperative to set down life goals for oneself, on the way to achieving them it would be best not to not forget that our journey is one among the billion other journeys taking place. During the intersections and the temporary stops, it would do good to greet others and smell the flowers, for although our destination is predetermined, we never control the entire route or the final stop.

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Source: vk.com

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Source: vk.com

Source: https://vk.com/pepheads

Daily, Family and Society, Stories Around the World, Work

Scarred by Words

Posted on November 26, 2018November 26, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

The pen is mightier than the sword or vice-versa as some believe. This ongoing tussle between the pen and sword has been going on for quite some time. Yet there is something that we fail to realize that has an ever bigger presence. Words and Actions, but more importantly words. Words have the potency to cause more harm as it inflects a change on both the listener as well as the speaker. It would be an understatement to mention that many times “we speak before we think, instead of think before we speak.”

“The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Many words that we say are a result of our erroneous tongue and less thinking. Some of us shrug it off and say it was in the heat of the moment or that one didn’t mean it so. While the rest of us may apologize or pretend to forget. Unfortunately, once the words have been said, they linger in the subconscious mind and strike the hardest when we least expect it. Eventually the same words can lead to regrettable actions and irreversible consequences. Although it is true that we should express ourselves honest, take heed to not to say anything in the heat of emotion of either anger, sorrow or excessive joy. For we never know the extent of harm these words can cause or when the same words may bite us back. Once damaged, the dent will stay no matter how minor it may seem.

“Be mindful when it comes to your words. A string of some that don’t mean much to you, may stick with someone else for a lifetime.” -Rachel Wolchin

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Nails on The Fence

Once there was one very quick-tempered and unrestrained young man. Then one day his father gave him a bag of nails and punished, whenever he did not contain his anger, to drive one nail into the fence post. On the first day there were several dozen nails in the pole. The other week, he learned to restrain his anger, and every day the number of nails driven into the pole began to decrease. The young man realized that it was easier to control his temperament than to drive nails. Finally, the day came when he never lost his temper. He told this to his father, and he said that this time every day, when his son can control himself, he can pull a nail out of the pole. As time went on, the day came when he could tell his father that not a single nail was left in the pole. Then the father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence: – You did quite well, but do you see how many holes are in the pole? He will never be the same. When you say something evil to a person, he has the same scar as these holes. No matter how many times you apologize after that, the scar will remain.

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source:https://vk.com/pepheads

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Daily, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World

What Goes A Long Way

Posted on November 23, 2018October 14, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners. Laurence Sterne”

Respect. Courtesy. Consideration. Manners.

What maybe a simple “Good morning” or “Hello” from our side may have made someone else’s day or even changed their perspective when they were in the dark. Yet that innocent and courteous greeting can go a long way, helping us when we least expect it. While respect mayn’t always be necessary to be returned in kind there and then; it can brighten the day both for us and for the addressee. No matter how busy the day might be or how close the deadlines are looming and how hectic the schedule may be, always take the time to treat others with due regard and courtesy.

“We learned about gratitude and humility – that so many people had a hand in our success, from the teachers who inspired us to the janitors who kept our school clean… and we were taught to value everyone’s contribution and treat everyone with respect. Michelle Obama”

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

This is a story that I had read through my social media pages which struck a chord. Although I don’t know if it’s true, the message conveyed is worth the effort and time to browse through it.

The woman worked at the meat factory. One day, at the end of her working day, she went into the freezer to check something, but the door accidentally closed – and the woman was locked from the inside.
The woman screamed and knocked with all her might — it was all to no avail — no one could hear her. Most of the workers have already left, and outside the freezer it is impossible to hear what is happening inside. Five hours later, when death seemed inevitable, the factory guard opened the door — and the woman miraculously escaped that day from death. Later, the woman asked the guard why he decided to check the freezer that day, because it was not his responsibility. The guard replied: “I have been working at this factory for 35 years, hundreds of people come and leave every day, but you are one of the few who greeted me in the morning and said goodbye at the end of the working day. Many relate to me, as if I am invisible … Today, passing by me, you, as always, told me “Hello”. But after work, I noted with curiosity that I did not hear your “so long, see you tomorrow,” and I did not see you leaving the factory’s territory. So I decided to check around the factory. I’m so used to your “hello” and “bye” every day, because they remind me that I need someone. Not hearing your farewell today, I realized that something had happened. That is why I have been looking for you everywhere. ”

Be humble, love and respect those around you. After all, we never know what will happen tomorrow.

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source: https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source:https://vk.com/pepheads

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Daily, Family and Society, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Passbook Worth Fighting For

Posted on November 21, 2018October 14, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

A WEDDING GIFT

She married him today. At the end of the wedding party, her mother gave her a newly opened bank savings passbook, with $1000 deposited in it. She told her, “My dear daughter, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your married life. Whenever something happy and memorable happens in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it’s about next to the amount. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I’ve done the first one for you today. Do the others with your husband. When you look back after many years, you will know how much happiness you’ve both shared.’

She shared this with him after getting home. Both of them thought it was a great idea and couldn’t wait to make the next deposit. This is what the passbook looked like after a while: 7 Feb: $100, his first birthday celebration after marriage
1 Mar: $300, she gets a salary raise
20 Mar: $200, vacation
15 Apr: $2000, She’s pregnant!
1 Jun: $1000, He gets the big promotion and so on…However, as the years went by, they began fighting and arguing over trivial things. They didn’t talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty person in the world. There was no more love. One day she talked to her Mother. ‘Mom, we can’t stand it anymore. We have decided to divorce. I can’t imagine how I decided to marry this guy!’
Her mother replied, ‘Sure, that’s no big deal. Just do whatever you want, if you really can’t stand it. But before that, do one thing remember the savings passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn’t keep any record of such a poor marriage.’ She agreed with her mother. So she went to the bank, and was waiting in the queue to cancel the account.

While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joyful moments came back to her. Her eyes were filled with tears. She left and went home. When she got home, she handed the passbook to her hubby and asked him to spend the money before getting divorced. So the next day, he went to the bank, and was waiting in the queue to cancel the account. While he was waiting, he took a look at the passbook record. He looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joyful moments came back to him. His eyes were filled with tears. He left and went home. He gave the passbook back to her. She found a new deposit of $5000. And a line next to the record: ‘This is the day I realized how much I’ve loved you throughout all these years. How much happiness you’ve brought me.’ They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back into the safe.

Marriage is never a game, as there are no winners or losers. It is neither easy nor does it follow a strict code of unbending rules. Yet it is beautiful for the fact that two people live for each other with gentle understanding and kind love. As no two people will come from the same background or follow the exact same path from same homes, neither will one person think as a clone of the other, fights and arguments are inevitable. Even though we have our set of beliefs, opinion and requirements, it doesn’t give us the right to impose on the other under the pretext of being married. Both have to express their own ideas and air out opinions with both compromising to reach a mutually acceptable solution. For along with the shared interests, morals and love; it is the mutual respect and acceptance that binds us together and carry forward during the tough times as well as misunderstandings. Before we throw in the towel, give up and declare it over, think back to the good times and to what brought us together in the first place. If the knowledge and times are worth living again, the fight to save. If not and the distress outweighs the reasons and the love shared in the initial days, then finally close the chapters with mutual respect and start anew.

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Source: https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Daily, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Reality of the Gingerbread Man

Posted on November 20, 2018October 20, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Ever since my toddler had got his own storybook about “The Gingerbread Man”, he has been fascinated by the large cookie that can run. Little wonder then that he chose to read this book more than thrice a day at different sittings.

The story centers around an old woman who baked a gingerbread man which leapt from her oven and runs away. The woman and her husband give chase but are unable to catch him. The Gingerbread Man then outruns several farm workers and farm animals while taunting them, only to fall prey to the fox. The tale ends with the latter catching and devouring the gingerbread man.

Although he is too young to understand the hidden concepts, sometimes I do wonder if this tale is an underhand way to get at adults for our possessive streak, trust issues as well as the habitual lying we either weave ourselves or get caught in.

Just as every person or animal runs after the gingerbread claiming it,the question arises if the person has a right to claim it. We often reinforce it to children that just because we want it, doesn’t mean that it is ours or that we can have it. Isn’t true for adults too where our whims and tendencies trigger the possessive streak many a time. Second is the trust issue. Like the spider and the fly, we often fall prey to trickery as we see want we want to see or hear what we want to interpret. Though for the innocent children it is more important to know who to trust an when to call for help; this lesson doesn’t change as we become adults. The world is an ocean, filled with delights and sharks. To experience the former, one has to steer clear of the latter. The third is about the lies. Black or grey or white, lies are lies and fibs are fibs. While sometimes we engage them with good intentions, the dangers of being caught makes one uneasy at any point of time. For a man without credibility and honesty is like an unreliable car or gadget.

Setting aside the story, there is something special about gingerbread, either shaped as a doll, cookies or even the houses. One chunk at a time, they not only add colour to the flavours but also add to fun times in the kitchen with delicious batter to sample.

Source:https://vk.com/we_live_a

Source: https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

Source: https://vk.com/pub_mdma

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

Rekindle the Dying Embers

Posted on November 19, 2018October 13, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

One of the prerequisites of camping in the woods (or even large backyards) or during nature nights is to start and maintain the fire. Once started, the flames keep the light coming and conversation going, as long as the flames are fed alongside. As the flames of the fire die down, unless the dying embers are stoked back the fire won’t serve it’s purpose.

Since the beginning of time, man has been fascinated by fire and its’ effects. What sometimes we fail to realize, is that we all have a fire in ourselves too. Like the dying embers, we need to be stoked once in a while. The spark within us often fights to stay alive especially during personal tragedy or when the situations get beyond our control. Unless the sparks stays to restart the fire, the fight goes out from within. Some days, the struggling sparks are ours, other times they belong to the sparks of others who are going through a difficult patch. Those times, we need to set the spark with words of encouragement and courage as tinder and kindling to relight the flame again.

Like how Paige Hunter had rekindled the flame of many with her “notes of hope” attached to the Wearmouth Bridge in Sunderland, England, the latter which is notorious for its suicides; we can bring back someones spark by kind words and gentle understanding. One doesn’t have to go far to look to do something, when it things are happening around them right under their nose. It might not take much effort from our part, but will make a huge difference for someone else. For even one dying spark, when revived will bring back the light and spread warmth in this cold world.