relationships – Page 3 – Sugar And Spice… Among Other Things

Family and Society, Personal Musings, Photography Art, Random Thoughts

In Our Own Way

Posted on June 5, 2020June 5, 2020 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

With the situation running along the same lines as in the previous months, all this sudden realization of the little things in life have given us plenty of food for thought. Slowly as the social strata get back into a semblance of an order, the reality is still unsettles remains strong. As each one of us embolden ourselves to face these small but significant challenges, we learn new things not just about others alone, but concerning ourselves as well. Of them, the most important thing, is to learn from the few experiences that life takes each one of us through.

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.” Dale Carnegie

As one journeys through, we learn to understand the silence in a better manner as well as to read between the lines and a glimpse into the souls around us. The art to speak soft, approach slowly , spread the warmth around us as well as to share the pain in the eyes of those around us; once learnt from life, then become her priceless gift to us. To not just know the bitterness of loss, but also to experience the joy of gaining is how time teaches us the value of each hour that we breathe the air around us.

The inner circle that we choose to live in, is not measured by beauty, wealth, education or fame alone; but by kindness, sincerity and love. While one may falter every now and then in keeping the circle of our choice, over time being true to oneself becomes easier and as learnt and discovered is a wiser way and option to hold onto.

“Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.” Helen Keller

In our own way, doing small and simple things helps one to being whole. As universal love has taught and showed us, being grandiose never bears more fruit than just being ourselves, simple, kind and of the intent to share the joy and love with the world around us. Being kind, is no less beautiful and is the crux to finding own happiness. For no matter what comes and goes, these are the things that one yearns for in life. To share the simple joys, being happy and at peace within; one doesn’t have to journey far but start from within. At the end, being true in our own ways is what matters the most, in life across the aeons of time.

Family and Society, Life, poetry, Reflections

After the Stay

Posted on May 25, 2020May 26, 2020 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Switching by-lanes while on the long awaited drive to the office, courtesy of the slow lock-down restrictions being eased; the traffic queues were no longer an impatient. To see various expressions through the eyes, behind the masks, movement across the roads as well as the small flow of people, the feeling of belonging to a social structure was there. One never realizes how relevant each minute of our life is, unless we have been deprived of the routine. While the lock-down had seen the start of new routines, techniques and ventures; it has also opened up a whole new meaning to being complete from within.

“What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t even happened yet.” Anne Frank

Staying in a place, and trying to phase out the schedule between work and home was no mean feat. Bringing the benefit of being closer as a family, exploring new interests or simply picking where one had left off like a project started years ago, brought back the essence of family and helped to re tune ourselves. On the other hand, the camaraderie at the work place, the weekly meet-up between local friends and interacting with the local townsfolk were some events which weren’t the same, even when done through video-conferencing or through social media. Fact is, those were some of the things sorely missed.

Human Interactions. It is what makes each of our days special and complete. As we hear and watch the experiences of others, we learn not just a lot about them, but also open up a fresh insight into ourselves and things to ponder about. While the past few weeks have been a time of finding oneself, setting new challenges as well as getting back in touch with ourselves; donning the masks and learning to blend in with the situation and re-enter society within the limits of the new guidelines teaches us how fragile and precious each second of the day is.

Slowly reentering back into the routine, the changes brought on will stay; but they have also taught us a lot about being human. Which is why, to be gracious and being kind should be always a part of our innate nature. And as we try to do so, we heal within and start off each bend in the road, with courage and stength with the promise of an experience worth our while in the world that we live in.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Dan Millman

And People Stayed Home

And people stayed home
and read books and listened
and rested and exercised
and made art and played
and learned new ways of being
and stopped
and listened deeper
someone meditated
someone prayed
someone danced
someone met their shadow
and people began to think differently
and people healed
and in the absence of people who lived in ignorant ways,
dangerous, meaningless and heartless,
even the earth began to heal
and when the danger ended
and people found each other
grieved for the dead people
and they made new choices
and dreamed of new visions
and created new ways of life
and healed the earth completely
just as they were healed themselves.

Kathleen O’Meara (1839–1888)
(This poem was written by an Irish-French Catholic writer, Kathleen O’Meara (Dublin 1839 – Paris 1888), who also wrote under the pen name of Grace Ramsay, and is to be found in her novel Iza’s Story, set against the background of the Polish struggle against the occupation and partition of their country in various stages by Russia, Austria and Prussia from 1772 onwards. She compares the Polish-Russian situation to the Irish-British situation. For the present, this poem when set against the background of present makes way for a thought provoking read.)

Family and Society, Personal Musings, Random Thoughts, Reflections

Minute that Counts

Posted on May 16, 2020May 16, 2020 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

The mandatory requirement to touch base with the company headquarters’ to update the central team about an ongoing project, lead to a lot between us colleagues to send one among us to the field office to give a review of the updates. Whether fortunate or not, the short straw was that of yours truly. So after a fortnight gap, the familiar route was taken and a lone figure saw itself at the main office waiting to clock in and touch base with the head office. For once, there was no hustling for the lift, a disarray of feet scrambling in to push the glass door across, punch in the codes and the like. With time on hands, it felt good to exchange a couple of words at the reception and interact live with another human face. Truth to be told, it felt real good to see another set of life-size smiling eyes behind the mask and exchange a flurry of words and compliments.

One of the things that this past couple of months have taught us is the precariousness of life and human relationships. In the hustle and bustle of the modern era, we not have just forgotten to smell the roses but also, to recognize their scent.

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

In the course of conversation, a pertinent thing that struck out was that many a time we never used to really connect with the other person. Each time one is running around the clock, short of time; we forget the little things done for us. When was the last time time we talked to the doorman who held the elevator for us in the morning rush or the colleague who had covered for us when the clock was ticking away ? Or the regular cafe server who had ordered the regular cup of joe in a jiffy ? Or the security guard who had guided one to the reserve the best parking space in the lot? While these things may seen quite small or inconsequential, they were the things that made the day bright. How many times did one thank or acknowledge the doers of these bright moments?

Sometimes all it takes is to appreciate someone for the little things that they had done. While it mayn’t seem to be a quite important thing then, later on looking back; these small little acts had helped to make a dull, tired or quiet day into a better or happier one.

“I drop kindness pebbles in still water everyday, and I watch the effect they have on other people’s lives. My favorite kindness pebbles are compliments.Drop a compliment and watch the ripple affect that it has in your life.” John A Passaro

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

To say an honest compliment or just lend a hand doesn’t take much effort. All it requires one is to pay attention to the world around them and note the little acts of kind gestures done right under our nose. Still on the page of sifting through memories, one incident that stuck in the mind was seen during my initial days at work. Throwing an office fundraiser for the local town, in the wake of the floods; we had to put in an impromptu garage sale and a variety show. A chance encounter resulted in one of the daughters’ of our building security employees displaying her art work. With her beautiful oil work on canvas being a quick sell, her talent got noticed by the local art school who had later sponsored her to the art school she goes to today. Those paintings had graced the walls then, only because her father had shown her work and was duly encouraged to make them a part of the venture then. Those kind and meaningful gesture had lead to a chain of events, lighting the lives of others and changing them into new turns.

“Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction.” Germany Kent

When the chance ever strikes, no matter how busy one is; to just take a minute and render a n appreciation or simple compliment, would result in an array of smiles. Learning to appreciate others’ is how one experiences happiness in their lives. One never realizes how much one may miss out on them. Not taking one person around us for granted is important. For just as we appreciate those around us; the same goes when we are appreciated too. To make small but significant difference in another lives, is something more priceless that no money or material wealth can solely replace. Pass on the chain and share the greetings and smiles with the feeling of warmth in the daily world around us.

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Stories Around the World

Parts of the Whole

Posted on April 1, 2020March 29, 2020 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Staying put in a particular place has not been in any of our list. From sharing a routine covering the regular places either of work or on the household front, to enrollment in centers for the pursuit of own hobbies, visiting with friends or family and sharing the regular weekly cuppa with close friends for a laugh and more; entering the adult phase opened a whole new world outside the neighbourhood. With the present lock-down scenario, “staying in” invokes a whole new meaning. Even working from home, doesn’t help as one eventually misses the camaraderie and kinship on the professional front. As the sense of being stifled was growing strong, a sudden call from my colleague dampened down the unrest a little.

“If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.” Booker T. Washington

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Being in the locked down, or “locked in” phase ( the latter resonates to the mood appropriate for the present), one learns to appreciate social relationships. Recalling the previous week before the “work from home” sessions began, the usual “coffee break” involved gentle ribbing or exchange of new ideas and neighbourhood stories. All in all, there was a feeling of connectedness between all of us at work. Whether own colleagues were best of friends or casual acquaintances, meeting them were one of the parts of the day that had to be there. Though video calling and snap chats are there, it isn’t the same as seeing them face to face.

“Everyone has a purpose in life and a unique talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.” Kallam Anji Reddy

These past few days have taught us that each person that become a part of our lives, are important in their own way. The nod from the employee who mans the elevator tot he clerk who sits at the front reception and observes the routine punching in are just few of the many people who add an essence to each day.

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

In fact, everyone that we meet has something special to teach each one of us. Such a network of inter-connectedness is what keeps us sane when facing a crisis situation. One doesn’t know how much the other is a part of their lives, unless we try to live without it. As learnt through the days spent during the lock-down, one needs to be grateful for every little gift, chance, blessing or person that across their daily lives.

“WE ALL NEED TO BE NEEDED”

Lonely tree was growing among hot sands of dead desert. Prickly sands covered the Wood. The Sun mercilessly burned its bark. But the Tree kept on living in spite of all.
One day a Hawk flew over the desert. The Hawk saw the Tree and sat on its branch. He looked around the desert and said:
— You are a strange Tree, why do you keep on living among these dead hot sands? Who needs it?
— You, — the Tree answered.
— Me? — the Hawk was surprised. — I don‘t need you.
— But if not me, — the Tree told, — you would have to sit on the hot sand instead of my branches. If not me, someone, seeing you sitting on the tree alone, would say that nobody needs you, too and would ask you what you live for. Sitting on my branches you, Hawk, think that I need you. The Hawk thought about it and had to agree with the Tree. If there was no Tree, the hawk would feel himself alone and useless among this vast desert.

“None of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.” Mother Teresa

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmomentsSource:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Personal Musings, Photography Art, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Seasons, Phases and Shades

Posted on March 9, 2020January 5, 2020 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“I don’t know what lies around the bend, but I’m going to believe that the best does.” Anne of Green Gables

While attending the biennial workshop held as a part of the company policy on updating their employees, many of us signed up mainly for the chance to visit another interesting place. In fact the venue itself was one of the appealing factors of this time’s workshop. Based on the recommendations of the previous city visitors (though it was three years old) we had decided to visit the local famous haunts. To our surprise, while most tourist places had stayed on(or even updated), some of the local popular places like the delis, square gardens as well as city walks had changed quite significantly.

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547

While the entire week went in a whirlwind of various sessions, trips to the local areas, experimenting with new dishes; our experiences were a little different from the previous accounts we were told. Though our experiences were different, it was a lovely stay for the season we were in.

“Even seasonal situations can bring with them lessons that last a lifetime. If the love doesn’t last, it prepares you for the one that will.” Mandy Hale

Each of our days brings in a lot of scenes, flavours and experiences. Our own experiences may be seen in a different light by others. While one may have a good memory, the others may share a not so good or sad memory. To pass judgement too quickly based on a single happening would be to deprive oneself of the whole picture.

Source:https://vk.com/englisharoundtheworld

Each event or person has their own phases. While one phase mayn’t turn out to be well, it doesn’t mean that it is a lost cause. Instead give it some time, for then one would discover that things weren’t so bad but an interesting experience seen so in the due course of time.

The Seasons of Life
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn to not judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away. The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.
The second son said no – it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed, he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfilment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but one season in the tree’s life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are – and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life – can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up. If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall. Don’t judge a life by one difficult season. Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Daily, Family and Society, poetry, Reflections

Change of Play

Posted on February 26, 2020November 22, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

With the sun slowly shining through the cold winds and drizzling rain, the ground slowly breaks forth as new shoots spring to life. As the daylight hours slowly lengthen, the little feet scamper around in the courtyard and the garden. Leaving aside the numerous indoor toys, the bicycle and even the bright coloured remote controlled terrain toys vehicles, these little feet and hands found the fun and happiness in playing with twigs and building a tower with sticks and pebbles. As the household chores got done on an early evening, the yard play brought back memories of the simple days of the yesteryear.

“There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither.” Alan Cohen

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

As one catches up with the fast paced modernism of today, with the methodology of work as well as projects get more complex, so does the hours of relaxation. From the busy office or work schedule of around eight to twelve hours (more or less in certain scenarios), the unwinding takes a complex route at times, like indulging in the favourite video-games, Netflix shows, movie reruns or even catching up on the social networks. Minus the gadgets or a power outage, the “leisure hours” go “ka-boom”. What has happened to the simple joys of spending “quality time” with family and friends, or just a little quiet time with the self to rejuvenate, recuperate and recharge.

“This is the real secret of life — to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.” Alan Watts

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

One can’ escape the modernism of the world as the years mature from childhood to adult years. As the list of responsibilities, dreams, ambitions and goals grow, get prioritized or re-prioritized, the purpose would be to infuse a little of “gentle play” in the work as well as to recharge after the strenuous hours. We all have only one life to lead, that one is inherently aware of. Too much of focus of any one arena will result in the loss of another. The “play of life” has to be done in a gentle manner with the amount of “work”, “fun”, “relationships”, “relaxation” and the like to be done in healthy balanced or proportionate doses. One doesn’t need to get too fanciful, just the simple things in life in the right amounts would help in experiencing the gifts and blessings of life.

Playthings

Child, how happy you are sitting in the dust, playing with a broken twig all the morning.
I smile at your play with that little bit of a broken twig.
I am busy with my accounts, adding up figures by the hour.
Perhaps you glance at me and think, “What a stupid game to spoil your morning with!”
Child, I have forgotten the art of being absorbed in sticks and mud-pies.
I seek out costly playthings, and gather lumps of gold and silver.
With whatever you find you create your glad games, I spend both my time and my strength over things I never can obtain.
In my frail canoe I struggle to cross the sea of desire, and forget that I too am playing a game.

– Rabindranath Tagore

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Source:https://vk.com/monahos

Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, Stories Around the World, Work

Maintain the “Equipoise”

Posted on February 20, 2020December 12, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

While entering work, there was a new notice at the bulletin next to the elevator. It was a new poster based on Don Miguel Ruiz, “The Four Agreements”. With the elevator still stuck on the top floors and time on my hands, a quick run through the words of these agreements provided a fresh perspective.

“Every human is an artist. The dream of your life is to make beautiful art.” Don Miguel Ruiz

On detailed reading and review of the poster resulted in one accepting the beauty of the words. While these work agreements may help to pave a better work place scenario, when practised in the true spirit, they aid one to stay happy within.

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source:https://vk.com/pub_mdma

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

There are endless encounters with people in our daily lives. On some days, it may be a few, on other days it may be a lot many. Yet all these contacts leave an impression in the mind of which some may be happy, some give off a feel of kindness or at times, a negative vibe around each experience. Yet when one tends to brood over and feed on the negative vibe more, the inner peace gets lost.

“I am content; that is a blessing greater than riches; and he to whom that is given need ask no more.” Henry Fielding

By keeping the humanness in our basic interactions; more than the positive impact left, it is the feeling of happiness and contentment within that leaves one in peace. Every hour of our lives has a lot to offer. Time is never predictable, neither is the chance to experience the joy of living. If the inner balance is upset, efforts must be made to regain it. Those efforts always start from within. For to to be in harmony with the inner self, is a gift of Grace in itself.

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/407716572501581308/

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Be impeccable with your word. “Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

Don’t make assumptions. “Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”

Don’t take anything personally. “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

Always do your best. “Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”

Source: Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (1997)