Tag: relationships

Posted in Family and Society, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes

Of Chances and Connections

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

As a part of the routine work, one of the projects involved setting up base in a nearby town for a week. While stopping by for a quick lunch at the cafe down street, the feeling of familiarity was strong. That sense of déjà vu was quite strong. It was while leaving the cafe, I had realized that among the group of ladies seated across my table was the classmate of my school days. Those were the days, years ago and seas apart, a world different when we were residing in states far away from the present. Thus realized, there was conformation of person, exchange of present news and in consequence numbers and details. If it were not for the pause, the old connection would never have been renewed.

“For a split second they stared at each other. A fleeting, lasting moment. One person noticing another person out of a whole crowd of strangers.” Alexandra Potter

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts
Source:https://vk.com/comeshome
Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Finding connections and meeting points, we being humans need the feeling of connectedness from time to time. In a room of strangers, we need the “pauses”, “spaces” as well as “sharing of joys and sorrows” from time to time. Though personal lines have to be drawn; occasional cross-over helps one to move through especially when in despair. Over time, one realizes that life is all the connectedness that we all weave around us. At times, to find ourselves back in he “happy place” all one needs to do is to reconnect and re-experience the best days of the yesteryear to recharge for the present.

“People are guests in our story, the same way we are guests in theirs. But we all meet each other for a reason because every person is a personal lesson waiting to be told.” Lauren Klarfeld

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Meeting Point

Time was away and somewhere else,
There were two glasses and two chairs
And two people with the one pulse
(Somebody stopped the moving stairs):
Time was away and somewhere else.

And they were neither up nor down;
The stream’s music did not stop
Flowing through heather, limpid brown,
Although they sat in a coffee shop
And they were neither up nor down.

The bell was silent in the air
Holding its inverted poise—
Between the clang and clang a flower,
A brazen calyx of no noise:
The bell was silent in the air.

The camels crossed the miles of sand
That stretched around the cups and plates;
The desert was their own, they planned
To portion out the stars and dates:
The camels crossed the miles of sand.

Time was away and somewhere else.
The waiter did not come, the clock
Forgot them and the radio waltz
Came out like water from a rock:
Time was away and somewhere else.

Her fingers flicked away the ash
That bloomed again in tropic trees:
Not caring if the markets crash
When they had forests such as these,
Her fingers flicked away the ash.

God or whatever means the Good
Be praised that time can stop like this,
That what the heart has understood
Can verify in the body’s peace
God or whatever means the Good.

Time was away and she was here
And life no longer what it was,
The bell was silent in the air
And all the room one glow because
Time was away and she was here.

By Louis MacNeice

(Source: The Collected Poems of Louis MacNeice (Oxford University Press, 1967)
Louis MacNeice, “Meeting Point” from The Collected Poems of Louis MacNeice. Copyright © 1967 by Louis MacNeice.)

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
Source:https://vk.com/pub_mdma

Posted in Christian, Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Reflections

The Truest Form

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

The morning fiasco was marked by the hunt for red crayons, golden hearts and lots of pink, green and blue colour pencils. En route to the routine drop to school, my kindergartener enlightened me on the activities planned for the day. The story of St. Valentine in English class, valentine cards to be drawn in art class and as for math  ” to count the stars, hearts, flowers and candy”!! With all these information occupying my immediate gray memory cells, coffee break was another discussion of valentine day’s special offers, discounts and reminiscences of past days.

“There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice.” F. Scott Fitzgerald

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

As the mid-day of February approaches, there is a lot of activities around this. While the focus is targeted primarily on young love, one must remember that there are all sorts of love in this world. The joy of new parents on receiving their wrapped bundle in labour rooms, the joy of the first few lurchy steps of the toddler, quiet concern between friends on the announcement of exam results, celebrations over the first match win, sacrifice of sleep hours of a night shift nurse to babysit her niece and many more instances are there in the world around us. All these are different forms and sorts of love.

“Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.” Nicholas Sparks

Each of us is surrounded by love. It may be manifest in many ways. From the occasional hugs from our parents, help from our spouses, efforts of our family and friends when we face a tough day, the boss’ agreement for a work in from home when the kids fall sick or an aunts’ help in designing the fancy dress costume when mom is out of town or the warm circle of child arms around us when we are tired. All these acts of help, sacrifice, kindness and care involve an amount of love. Love doesn’t necessarily mean expensive gifts, date nights, trips out of the country and the like; though the above are all really lovely experiences.

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

As O’ Henry’s “Gift of the Magi” shows love doesn’t mind that extra mile. Whether it be sacrifice, more time, energy or sleep hours; love makes that extra miles of effort worth it. Such is the love that we all should strive to harbour close to ourselves. Such love should be cherished, appreciated and shared around; for this love lights up dreary hearts and brings ray of light to dull, dark dingy hours or even days.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Posted in Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Reflections

The Flashes, the Pain and the Past

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.” Haruki Murakami

Waiting in the queue for a break in the traffic, the eyes had wandered over to the playground where a couple of teens were busy with their mock football match at one end. At the far end, a few were playing throw-ball. In the midst of the latter game, a heated argument followed by a flurry of fists resulting in two players walking off. Seeing these scenes triggered off the memory of the middle school wherein peer gangs were rampant and gangs were the norm. Selection for sports as well as arts revolved around the factor of being in the know or the select few. If a art geek decided to enroll for the selection in the softball team, putting the name down would be like writing in the water and similar for a football defender who liked to indulge their culinary urge. Watching my nieces and nephews as they go through their middle school, the bite of those yesteryear still sting but lessons learnt were valuable for life.

“Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.” Richard Kadrey

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

All of us have our cache of “bad memories”. Some we tend to carry along through the childhood to the adult phase. While others we may bury them, only that they tend to surface intermittently especially when least expected. There are those days that no matter how hard one tries, they gray clouds linger and cast shadows in the mind. 

“I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance.” Beryl Markham

Dealing with those harsh memories requires one to acknowledge it, accept it and make the stern choice to move on. To forget them may be really difficult, but learning to deal with them is a must. Those cliches and gangs of middle school still exist in the adult world, albeit in a more subtle manner. The choice is to learn and then move on. Getting trapped in one phase for long, results in the soul being frozen by the rampant thoughts. While one can’t do anything about the passed years, the reaction and choice of the present lies in own hands and how deals with the circumstances. As the bad moments crowd, the purpose of the present would be to make new memories suffused with warmth, joy and laughter to live the hours of now as well as tide over the future.

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Memory

Memory engulfed so much evil,
without a count or bounds.
All the time life lied and lied,
there is no more trust in life.

Maybe, there are no cities,
maybe no green gardens,
just lives instead the power of ice,
and the salted oceans.

Maybe, the world is just all snow,
and a starlit road.
Maybe the world is all taiga
in the mind of God.

Varlim Shalimov

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Posted in Daily, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Merge the Angles

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“An ant can’t define shape of an elephant solely from its’ point of view. They have to unify all views. It’s a way for ant to understand elephant. In order to understand true realities, men need to do mental blending.” Toba Beta

Prior to starting off another major project, there was the brain-storming session in the office. As the ideas got exchanged, details considered and outcomes were contemplated; there were open disagreements on whether the said plan would work out. Although the fist fight had never happened, the flurried exchange of words was close to a verbal war. Eventually the project details were finalized and set in motion, though the entire discourse reminded one of the importance of bringing the different viewpoints together to bring a consensus to the decision.

“The most fatal illusion is the settled point of view. Since life is growth and motion, a fixed point of view kills anybody who has one.” Brooks Atkinson

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Starting from elementary school, there would have been many similar scenarios wherein a squabble breaks out on who is right. The hard part is when both arguing parties are right but not in entirety. That is when reaching the middle ground is important. Finding a consensus and appreciating the other viewpoint teaches one that each person has their different set of experiences. These differences tracks help to bring out the common goal when different views are contemplated and merged together with the understanding that each perspective is important in its own right. As the different notes get harmonized, only then the play can be set to music. Life is never made of a single angle or plane, but an amalgam of varied panorama, angles and slants. Unless viewed as a whole, each of us may miss out on the compete picture.

“We don’t get harmony when everybody sings the same note. Only notes that are different can harmonize. The same is true with people.” Steve Goodier

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts
Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

When I was in elementary school, I got into a major argument with a boy in my class. I have forgotten what the argument was about, but I have never forgotten the lesson I learned that day. I was convinced that “I” was right and “he” was wrong – and he was just as convinced that “I” was wrong and “he” was right. The teacher decided to teach us a very important lesson.
She brought us up to the front of the class and placed him on one side of her desk and me on the other. In the middle of her desk was a large, round object. I could clearly see that it was black. She asked the boy what color the object was. “White,” he answered. I couldn’t believe he said the object was white, when it was obviously black! Another argument started between my classmate and me, this time about the color of the object. The teacher told me to go stand where the boy was standing and told him to come stand where I had been. We changed places, and now she asked me what the color of the object was. I had to answer, “White.”
It was an object with two differently colored sides, and from his viewpoint it was white. Only from my side it was black.
Sometimes we need to look at the problem from the other person’s view in order to truly understand his/her perspective.
Author Unknown
(Source:vk.com)

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts
Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts
Posted in Daily, Family and Society, poetry, Reflections

Shades we Cast

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Every man casts a shadow; not his body only, but his imperfectly mingled spirit. This is his grief. Let him turn which way he will, it falls opposite to the sun; short at noon, long at eve. Did you never see it?” Henry David Thoreau

On an late noon shopping trip, the modern vehicle of convenience had decided to rest impromptu. Unfortunately, it was not by own command but by it’s own choosing. The point happened o be at a lone stretch of the local road. The long trek to the main road, provided little comfort except for the shadow that accompanied me on the short trek.

“We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand, and it is no good moving from place to place to save things; because the shadow always follows. Choose a place where you won’t do harm – yes, choose a place where you won’t do very much harm, and stand in it for all you are worth, facing the sunshine.” E.M. Forster

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

We all cast different shadows. Some of them long, short or just a line at times. Different times of the day, different shades or different lengths, each shadow leaves a trace of us at some point of time. Shadows always follows one. At times, they may be with us giving us comfort and peace. Other times, it may be protective as watching our shadows help us see who is behind ( especially on a lone city walk). At times, the shadows merge with the rest of the surroundings to be blurred, matching the mood of the moment. What ever way it may be, shadows are a part of us.

“This learned I from the shadow of a tree
That to and fro did sway upon a wall:
Our shadow selves, our influence may fall
Where we can never be.”
– A.E. Hamilton

Shadows are but a reflection of the reality of that moment. Whether it may be in complete or just partial, those are the prints or part of the evidence left behind. They are nothing but certain aspects of the reality. Though it mayn’t be a part of the complete picture, it may be associated with it. To quote Helen Keller, “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow” , but the shadow follows when possible, whether by choice or not.

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547
Source:https://vk.com/public75290000
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

The important thing is it mayn’t be true projection, but an association of shades or parts of it. Those shades are what defines one to others, even they mayn’t be in entire true. Yet the harsh truth is, that is how the world see each other. Some are known by their true forms, others obscured in part or whole by the shades of the shadows that are cast.

Shadows

How much of earth’s beauty is due to its shadows!
The tree and the cliff and the far-floating cloudlet,
The uniform light intercepting and crossing,
Give manifold color and change to the landscape.

How much, too, our life is in debt to its shadows;
To griefs that refine us and cares that develope,
And wants that keep friendship and love from decaying;
With nothing to cross us we perish of ennui.

– Thomas Durfee

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts
Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Posted in Christian, Daily, Random Thoughts

Cracks on the Wall

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

On one of the sudden on-the-spur visits to the family homestead, assisting my dad in cleaning out the barn was a break from the routine. With all the animals safely shepherded and put in the outdoor enclosure, the general inspection began. From the mild leaking of the roof to the certain areas of the rotting wood, the list of repairs were steadily growing. Fortunately this checklist was done on an annual basis, so the list remained within reasonable limits of the budget. As the policy of my dad, and every farmer goes, sealing up the small cracks reverts a catastrophe in time. While their battle is against the small critters like bats and mice who don’t need an open door, but the small cracks and coin sized openings (which shouldn’t have been there) to pay a visit; a similar analogy can be found in each of our lives.

“Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards.” (Song of Songs 2:15)

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Cracks happen. At times they may be just a sliver easily reparable if caught in time, given a fresh coat of filling and paint. Yet sometimes, time plays mischief and the crack grows in length and gap, giving entry to the “little creatures” that can create complete ruin to the “vineyards”. Extrapolating those cracks, there are many constrained relationships in each of our lives. Some may be so because of the little things more unsaid than said, little acts left undone or the thoughts harboured and not dealt with that create and nurture these cracks. While His Grace may help us in not creating those cracks, it is mending those cracked areas in the long run that the Spirit teaches us to do.

To lose out is so easy, than to maintain. The joy of relationships are something that is more appreciated when lost or in absentia. While some cracks mayn’t be salvageable, saving those that aren’t so are worth it. Life is full of memories, filling them with happy one are so much better than dwelling in or making more of the sad or unfortunate circumstances. Let His Light shine on each one of us, help us seal the cracks, weed out the creatures that may slip through them and rebuild anew as and when required. Life is more beautiful when enjoyed in harmony and peace within us and with the world around us.

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Posted in Christian, Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, Quotes

Braid Those Strands

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

While shopping for a house welcoming gift, my husband and I, we had finally decided on a houseplant as a gift for close friends. That is when we had chanced upon the potted version of the “money tree plant”. Pachira acquatica ( a.k.a the Malabar chestnut, French peanut, Provision tree), a tropical wetland tree is native to Central and South America where it grows as a tropical wetland tree. Surprisingly, this is sold as a houseplant with it’s trunks braided. What the reason maybe ( the seller didn’t know why), the braided trunk supports the big leaves quite well, giving the plant a wholly aesthetic and balanced look.

“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is thread, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.” Simone Signoret

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://wikipedia.com
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

These “braided trunks” are what one needs when going through a tough spot. The courage to bear the weight through tough times doesn’t happen when the weight is born on one lone spindly stalk. Instead when a cumulative support is given, the entire matter is sorted through and one learns to rise and stand tall and strong. Relationships are never bound by chains. If ever done so, those very chains rust over time, breaking away to fine powders and falling apart with the links scattered.

“A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

When these chains are held together not just by strength but by fine braids of feelings, emotions and positive associations; tendrils of love, kindness and warmth grow along and support each one through the thick and thin. Relationships grow stronger with stability, closeness and strength in God. Marriage, friendships as well as family ties require nurturing. Not just with love and kindness, merging these bonds with His Word and His Teachings abounds one with an endless source of love, grace and hope. On looking back, these are what brings a smile to the tired mind, body and soul. To experience life to the fullest, it entails one learning to hold these tiny threads above the chains. This difference is what holds the memories alive, making each day enriched and memorable over the years.

“It’s all those stories and how they braid together that tells us who and what and where we are.” Charles de Lint

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/comeshomements
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/comeshomements
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments