Tag: thoughts

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes, Reflections, Work

The “Changed Faces”

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

If you were deceived by life,
Don’t feel dismal, don’t get mad!
Be at ease and don’t feel sad:
The days of joy will soon arrive!
The heart can’t wait for this to pass;
The present is depressing here:
All is fleeting rather fast;
That which passes will be dear.
-Alexander Pushkin (1825)

Change in life, happens like water; more so when people are involved. The continuous flow of water or the sudden gush with or without a block in the regular course; taking the shape of the vessel it belongs to and tasteless but blending its flavours from the source till the other end; the nature of people runs along similar lines. Especially the latter, which maybe as predictable as the flow and nature of water or even the wind.

“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.” Nicholas Sparks

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Reviewing across the various phases in life, many of us may have encountered at some point of time or other, people who were once close acquaintances become distant or avoidant; or the ones who were “less friendly” stepping in with a helping hand or forging new bonds in the later years. Such is the nature of man in general. People change, so do perspectives and perceptions. While for some the fault may be ours or on the other side; sometimes the distance may just happen. Bridging the gap maybe too late; at times a non achievable feat, no matter how much one may try.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Victor Frankl

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As the “faces” change, one of the hardest part is accepting the “blow”, while at the same time, trying one’s best to not bear deep seated grudges or hatred within. Being human, feeling hate, regret, disappointment among the many emotions is normal and natural. Yet staying in the same rut or frame of mind will prove detrimental in the short as well as the long run. People will change, each of us will be subject to change in our lives. Few times we may be at the receiving end of “changed faces”, while other times we may at the “giving” end. No matter how the “changing faces” maybe; moving on in the right manner is what matters the most. For life with her lessons, gives us memories and moments to cherish, learn from as well as mature for the better tomorrow.

“You collect people to take with you. Some people change, other people don’t… it’s wonderful because I’ve met some incredible friends.” Imogen Poots

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World

From “Being Helped” to “Helping”

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“Those who are the happiest are those who do the most for others.” Booker T. Washington

Raising children is never easy. From the first child, parents or guardians have to devise a system which encompasses love, teaching, helping and guiding them to live a life rich in love, joy, of right values and principles. From infancy to toddler-hood, being too small to do the simple things like brushing their teeth, the morning routine, tying laces or filling a glass of water; these are done by elders, adults or even the bigger children. Yet along the way as they grow older, at times, the coddling doesn’t stop. When an adult puts on shoes for a healthy seven year old, something has gone wrong somewhere. When a healthy ten year old child refuses to make their bed, put their toys away or need to be fed their breakfast; the “coddling” may be a little overdone.

“You will discover that you have two hands. One is for helping yourself and the other is for helping others.” Audrey Hepburn

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https://vk.com/we_live_a

Every child needs their space to grow. Once they are let to do s, only then will they develop and learn to think. Basic life skills are necessary for any child. They start young, from being able to put on their shoes themselves, to dressing themselves and helping small in the household. When a child from school refuses to note their father’s tired face and demand to go out for shopping a new toy; alterations and right changes have to be made in the set routine to ensure that these children grow up to responsible and develop humaneness fr the society of tomorrow.

“Never get tired of doing little things for others, sometimes those little things occupy the biggest parts of their hearts.”  Unknown

As children are taught to help in the simple things of life, they bloom internally and learn to gain joy on helping others. Rightly said that, “Charity begins at home”; what these young minds learn, observe and undergo in their childhood are carried over to their adulthood and eventually, these same teachings, principles and feelings are carried down over to the generations that they raise. There’s an interesting post from one of my social network pages (translated to English), that goes on to show how children can be taught as “What can we do for you ?”

Source:https://vk.com/public138314547
Source:https://vk.com/public138314547
Source:https://vk.com/veruj

Being the “grownups” of today, we need to teach our children to “help after being helped when they were small”, so that the basic values of kindness, love, humaneness and service are always carried on, in the future society.

“Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love.” Martin Luther King Jr.

Today I understood raising children correctly. The mother-in-law came to us, as always, brought a bunch of gifts to the children, as always, began her little aggressive concern:
– Let me smear you a sandwich! Let me wear you socks! Sit-sit, grandmother will wash the apple-clean-cut-lay!
As always, this is a bit annoying and even annoying for all of us. I have independent children, who clean their own sandwiches and smear apples. And then there was such a stunning stream of turbulent activity!
And a six-year-old son suddenly asked at dinner:
“Grandma, what can we do for you?”
– What? – Grandmother did not understand.
– You do so much for us! – Ilya explained, – You take care of us, care for us. So I ask, and what can WE do for YOU?
He so matured, so deliberately said it, that I felt myself at that moment, as if an angel from heaven had come down and handed me the medal for motherhood. All my pedagogical throwings, all my megawatts of energy and kilometers of nerves, piles of books on education, thousands of arms that fell, all came together today and crystallized into the phrase: “What WE can do for YOU.”
Ksenia Smyslova

“People will forget what you said, people may forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou

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Posted in Christian, Daily, Family and Society, Life, Stories Around the World

Of Request and Trust

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” ( Phillipians 4:6)

From the very early years of childhood, the concept of prayer has been taught, explained and seen. Through the Scriptures, prayer has been a form of request, supplication, thanksgiving, forgiveness, help and many more. Prayer is the way in which one puts their complete trust and faith in His Love, His Guidance, His Mercy as well as ask for His Hands to be over us at all times.

“But you, Lord, do not be far from me. You are my strength; come quickly to help me.” (Psalm 22:19)

 

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Source:https://vk.com/we_live_a

Yet man being man, the innate nature of trying to control every outcome to his own plan and purpose, little realizing or often forgetting that we ourselves are a part of His Plan. In fact, our lives are such that whichever way we go or whatever purpose or aim we try to reach, unless it is governed by His Will, all attempts or successes are in vain and in the long run, come to naught.

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being.” (Ephesians 3:16)

While man tries to define everything by rational thinking, controlling of the causes and nurture by evidence based principles, put on the armour of reasoning, facts, logic and proved theories; not all things happen by those clauses. Many a time, one is forced to revise the “proved” of find a reason to define the change. In stead, when one learns to combine these facts, logic and realism with faith in the His Will, one eventually realizes that good things do happen at His right time. Doing so, in the long run, the final outcome may be beyond our wildest expectations. One needs to work and pray, doing their own share of effort, burning one’s own energy and sweat for their purpose or aims in life; but always request in prayer to let our will be in accordance with His Will and His Purpose. When one starts putting this ideology in practice, one discovers that this path will be difficult. For to live by the principles of both Faith and Trust is never easy; yet the final fruit goes beyond one’s own imagination.

“It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.” (Psalms 18:32)

 

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One monk planted an olive tree and began to pray: “Lord, send rain to my tree.” And the Lord sent rain upon the earth. The tree was saturated with moisture, and the monk continued to pray: “And now, Lord, I ask you to send a lot of sunshine – my tree needs warmth.” And the Lord sent the sun. The tree grew. The monk continued to pray for him: “Lord, send a little frost to strengthen the roots and branches.” The Lord sent a frost and …. the tree died. The monk was very upset. He went to another monk to tell his story and share sorrow.

“I also have an olive tree, look,” another monk replied. His tree has grown beautifully. “But I prayed differently. I told God that He is the Creator of this tree and knows better what is needed for him. I just asked God to take care of him.”
This also applies to us. We often ask for what we think we need. But only the Lord knows what we need. Trust Him completely!
– Rus Svyataya

“If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.” ( 1 Peter 4:11)

 

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Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Stories Around the World

The “Atmosphere” Around Us

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Once a wise man was asked: “How can you recognize a good man?”
The sage replied: “This is not what he says or what he seems to be, but the atmosphere that is created in his presence. That is what evidence is. For no one is able to create an atmosphere that does not belong to his spirit.”

In the daily, once-in-a-while or chance encounters in our life, there are numerous people that we meet. Like the colleague from another department whom we meet when at lunch once in a while or the acquaintance at the gym or at the coffee shop line up whose times match ours and so on. The list is endless. Yet some people stay on in our minds. While these people may have done something remarkable, friendly or not; their presence is noted by us and at times we look forward to those encounters. What makes those “chance encounters” significant ? May be its’ because we like to meet them or they remind us of ourselves or simply put, it may be because of the aura or atmosphere around them.

“People are sent into our lives to teach us things that we need to learn about ourselves.” Mandy Hale

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Each person has a presence about them, reflecting their state of mind. When one is happy, we spread the happiness. When one is constantly plagued by troubled thoughts and insecurities, the “feel” around us would be one of “worries”. Likewise this “feel around us ” is what others perceive. We reflect ourselves around.

“It is when you lose sight of yourself, that you lose your way. To keep your truth in sight you must keep yourself in sight and the world to you should be a mirror to reflect to you your image; the world should be a mirror that you reflect upon.” C. JoyBell C.

Whether is it really important to concern ourselves with ” the atmosphere” we create, is a matter of perspective. In today’s society, life has innumerable opportunities and chances. Yet by constantly blocking them with the “negative vibes” around us would cause more regrets and lost “chances” down the lane. When a person has a good feel around them, spreading the happiness; we internally learn to deal and overcome the sorrows that we hold. Life is not always a cup of tea. Even for the “most rich and bountiful” it holds true in some aspect or the other. Just as no one is perfect, a person with a really perfect life is an abstract thought or reality. Each one has their own share of difficulties; but whether we chose to carry them like a “heavy bucket” along with us or learn to use them to “water other opportunities” in our lives; is in our hands. The choice is always one’s own.

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“Unless you learn to face your own shadows, you will continue to see them in others, because the world outside you is only a reflection of the world inside you.” Unknown

More than words or emotions, it’s the vibes around us that stay on. We need “happiness” to live life with serenity. The “vibes” we create, tempered with kind thoughts, honest words and sincere actions, goes a long way in giving the “good feel” within us. The latter is what goes around and helps us in the quest of finding as well as living with happiness.

“The journey into self-love and self-acceptance must begin with self-examination… until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.” Iyanla Vanzant

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Posted in Daily, Life, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

Yearnings before the Summer

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“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” W.B. Yeats

With the heat of summer approaching and spring nearing its’ end, a longing comes for the early pleasant winter days or the cooler autumn. While summer is indeed a time for beaches and water and cooler evenings making up for the oppressive heat of the mornings, one often longs to escape to the coldest part of the time for a few days.

“Happiness doesn’t depend on what we have, but it does depend on how we feel toward what we have. We can be happy with little and miserable with much.” William D. Hoard

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Looking back, the seasons do expose the strength of one’s endurance. During the extreme cold of winter, one harbours the longing for summer and reverse feelings in winter. These feelings bring to front the changing nature of the whims and fancies of man. Being human, one often tends to change one’s mind, thoughts and actions depending on the mood of the situation. Yet at times, we lose sight of the moral principle while engaging on the whims.

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” Charles R. Swindoll

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To transform, mature and to experience life, change is important. Yet if we are always on the lookout for change, without experiencing the moments of the present, we fail to learn what time and life has in store for us with every passing moment. Flitting from branch to another, we may always on the lookout for something better, brighter and more purposeful. In doing so, we tend to lose out on the meaning of the wonders of the present. Once lost, that Time would never come back. In His Timeline and among His Creations, one often learns that during uncertain situations, difficult choices or troubled times; stepping out and taking a breath of fresh air helps to find new perspective. The sooner we do so, the most difficult and rough season becomes an enjoyable one for the time.

“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.” Anne Frank

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I See You Spring

I see you, spring,
In my double window.
You’re not very red,
and even a little dirty.

There is no greenery yet.
The earth is exactly two-colored photo,
And the snow only catches the moment
To disappear from us imperceptibly.

And sleepy shade carts,
Squeaking axes,
On the same trampled snow
They derive sleds in the autumn.

And chomping with a check,
And twisting the wheels with his hands,
And a drop of rain on his cheek
Suddenly feels like tears.

Varlam Shalamov

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, poetry, Quotes, Reflections, Work

Far from the Blanket

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“Judgments prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.” Wayne Dyer

One of the benefits of shopping over the weekends is the discount sales that are commonly offered. Yet on closer scrutiny at the price list, our requirements, the discount amount with the manufacturing and expiry dates, at the end of the day; the weekend rush isn’t worth the effort for the offered discount. For the days when we need them, they do help. But when weekends are the only day to recuperate from the busy week, spending some personal time as well as family time may be more worth with the treasures of memories.

“It is with our judgments as with our watches: no two go just alike, yet each believes his own.” Alexander Pope

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Comparing this with few situations in our life, many a time we make judgments under the guise of certain notions or thinking. Yet on close scrutiny, one may discover that not everything is as it seems to be. Very often, we tend to put people under an umbrella. Like during school days, the scholarship as well as class toppers were believed to be geeks; yet imagine the surprise when their added talents ranged widely in the field of music, arts and some in sports as well. Similarly at the workplace or the community, when one is busy labeling the others; we lose out not only on their friendship but also the kinship that we would establish once we really get to know them. No one is like the other; neither do all fit under one blanket. When asked about ourselves, this dictum would be what we would prefer others would use to view us; then why not the same for them too. In life, open minds and kind words go a longer way than sudden opinions, quick judgments and hasty impressions.

“In our judgment of human transactions, the law of optics is reversed, we see most dimly the objects which are close around us.” Richard Whately

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Not everyone who is punished is guilty.
Not everyone who is acquitted is not guilty.
Not everyone who called himself a brother is a brother.
The unity of souls is not due to blood.

Not everyone is a friend who held a hand,
Not every enemy really hates.
Raised dagger is not so dangerous,
Like a thirst for revenge in the most hidden form.

Not everyone hugging is in love,
And standing on the side is indifferent.
Not everyone is inspired by the bright feeling,
Who flies his ears with flattery.

Not everyone falls under the pattern,
but each created it once.
And he does not suspect that he is the
same for someone “not everyone” ..
– Rus Svyataya

“Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.” Dandemis

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Work

Exchange Points: Adolescence to Adulthood

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“You’re always you, and that don’t change, and you’re always changing, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Neil Gaiman

Last week an unexpected mail had appeared in my inbox from friends of the middle school year. As kids of government employees, transfers were inevitable as a part of resource allocation, promotions and training. Consequently changing school every three to five years was the regular norm. Thus receiving this email had opened the box of memories and moments, considering the fact that middle school was a time when we were all evolving.

“Nothing happens unless something is moved.” Albert Einstein

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Looking back, every year of our life as we grow older involves a change. Refreshing the memories as middle-schoolers, life was mostly about assignments, sports, dating and the cultural. Academics had featured a role when relevant. Yet fast forwarding, adult life signifies mostly an exchange. Academics were replaced by work, dating by either relationships, marriage, family and sports or cultural as bucket lists, leisure or recreation. Time became more and more precious. Personal life had taken a back seat once, when career life had started.

“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.” Nicholas Sparks

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Reunions, spontaneous unexpected run-ins with old acquaintances, opening the high school year book or college class book and the like, all bring back memories of the best, worst, embarrassing and nostalgic memories at the different time frames in our lives. The difference lies in how we have progressed, view situations today and has the picture changed for the better or worse. The dreams and hopes as children or adolescents combined with the unbiased and open thinking as well as the willingness to embrace change, mistakes, criticism and appreciation as well; have they been lost or matured to finer aspects.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates (Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior)

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Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

While the younger years were marked by learning through self experiences, formation of groups or peer pressure, forging of new bonds and learning to protect one’s self esteem from being shattered as well as trying to fit into the society; adulthood takes on a different turn with the lessons that we have learnt and experiences underwent to prepare us for the journey ahead. Yet the fact remains on whether we have progressed beyond the classroom thinking and contours of “adolescence” for the kindness, maturity and love that adulthood offers or have we accepted the fickle matters of life with all the lights, sound and the glorification as the truth. Only time will know, can tell and foresee.

“That is at bottom the only courage that is demanded of us: to have courage for the most strange, the most singular and the most inexplicable that we may encounter.” Rainer Maria Rilke

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