Tag: thoughts

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, poetry, Reflections

To Curb the Unrest

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“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” Dale Carnegie

Some days, as we head about the daily grind or schedule, a sudden gush of unhappiness may slice the feeling of joy. The sudden unrest, feeling of uneasiness and irritation often stems when we start looking at our lives, through the shades of others’ lives. Comparison is a two edged vice, for when done in the right way it may help us grow and aim for the higher objective. Yet when approached and viewed by the wrong measures, it causes severe discontentment blotting out the regular peace of our lives.

“Many people lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness.” Pearl S. Buck

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To be content and at the same time, to try to grow for the betterment of one, is a delicate art, which when learnt can be an aid to achieving the simple joys of live. Being content is a feeling that one often fails to find i the modernity and complexity of this world. The sad truth is that things are really simple. For life has many joys and pleasures across its’ time, although it may seem murky from far. Learning to delight in the simple joys of life, helps us find and fulfill the purpose of our very existence.

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” Lao Tzu

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Contentment

It was spring but it was summer I wanted; the warm days and the great outdoors.
It was summer but it was autumn I wanted; the colourful leaves and the cool dry air.
It was autumn but it was winter I wanted; the beautiful snow and the joy of the holiday season.
It was winter but it was spring I wanted; the warmth and the blossoming of nature.
I was a child but it was adulthood I wanted; the freedom and the respect.
I was twenty but it was thirty I wanted; to be mature and sophisticated.
I was middle-aged but it was twenty I wanted; the youth and the free spirit.
I was retired but it was middle-age that I wanted; the presence of mind without limitations.
My life was over but I never got what I wanted.

Source: “Calm My Anxious Heart” by Linda Dillow

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

The Worth of Every Effort

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“Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.” Hal Borland

Entering into the work zone every morning, is like walking into a different time frame. From childhood we have been told to take pride in doing our work, be it simple household chores, completing homework or assignments on time, getting involved in school sports, drama or musicals, working for college scholarships, the university Christmas choir and the like. The focus was laid on doing well so as to bear fruit. As we grow older one realizes that not everything bears fruit with immediate effect. By working hard, there is guarantee that the task would bear fruit to be the selected or winning project; or despite all the hard work, sales target mayn’t be met or more clients , may be lost than gained. Yet the underlying benefit of enjoying and working to one’s maximum potential, is knowing that one has tried their respective best. That mental satisfaction is worth every penny of one’s sweat.

“Indeed, this life is a test. It is a test of many things – of our convictions and priorities, our faith and our faithfulness, our patience and our resilience, and in the end, our ultimate desires.” Sheri L. Dew

 

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Each one of us have our own difficult scales to balance. From managing family and work, to taking care of aged parents, managing the kids, night classes to attain the additional professional degree, juggling two jobs to repay the loans; each one knows their own struggle. Being discouraged and disheartened despite all the efforts is human. In those moments, it’s alright to take a breather, regroup, refocus and find the inner muse to get going. For once one decides not to drop the gauntlet, staying true to the efforts with the inner drive pushing one on; the ultimate outcome would be heartening, beyond one’s wildest hopes and dreams.

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other.” Walter Elliot

 

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The Other Side of the Wall

There was a young woman who took great pride in the growth and care of the flowers in her flower garden. She had been raised by her grandmother who taught her to love and care for flowers as she herself had done. Like her grandmother, her flower garden was second to none. One day while looking through a flower catalog she often ordered from, a picture of a plant immediately caught her eye. She had never seen blooms on a flower like that before. “I have to have it,” she said to herself, and she immediately ordered it.
When it arrived, she already had a place prepared to plant it. She planted it at the base of a stone wall at the back of her yard. It grew vigorously, with beautiful green leaves all over it, but there were no blooms. Day after day she continued to cultivate it, water it, feed it, and she even talked to it attempting to coax it to bloom. But, it was to no avail.
One morning weeks later, as she stood before the vine, she contemplated how disappointed she was that her plant had not bloomed. She was giving considerable thought to cutting it down and planting something else in its place. It was at this point that her invalid neighbor, whose lot joined hers, called over to her. “Thank you so much! You can’t imagine how much I have enjoyed the blooms of that vine you planted.” The young woman walked through the gate into her neighbor’s yard, and sure enough, she saw that on the other side of the wall the vine was filled with blooms. There were indeed the most beautiful blooms she had ever seen. The vine had crept through the crevices and it had not flowered on her side of the fence, it had flowered luxuriantly on the other side.

Just because you cannot see the good result of your labour does not mean that it bore no fruit.
Author: Randy Reynolds

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” Harriet Tubman

 

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections

At a Child’s Pace

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“Let the child be the scriptwriter, the director and the actor in his own play.” Magda Gerber

Every morning, before going off to work, my toddler sees me off before going to his day care. As his centre is close to my work place, the daily morning walk is all of ten minutes only. Yet some days we both take almost thirty minutes to get there by foot; for then we walk at his pace. Walking at his pace involves, stopping to watch the traffic, examine the caterpillar crawling across, collecting the smooth round pebbles near the stream and bringing along the sturdy sticks to his daycare and back to home as well.

“Children are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded.”  Jess Lair

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At times, the mothers’ pace in me comes to full force, with loud “Hurry up’s”, holding his hand and flying ahead, not stopping to look at the “distractions or landscape”. These situations are later compensated when we go homeward bound in the evening. The memories of “walking at a child’s pace” are beautiful.The warring thoughts in their mind, while attaining their “collectible treasures” of “funny shaped rocks”, watching the pigeons drink the water, seeing the frogs leaping across with various emotions flitting across their faces offer refreshing joy and peace to the adult mind. Leave them in the garden alone, with child safe measures and behold, its’ like watch fountains of joy and laughter explode like hot springs. Watching them ponder and examine what they see, the wonder of seeing the “big cars, JCB’s, buses” on the road (for the miniature toy ones are in their control) and their joy in the simple things of life are treasured moments.

“Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning.”  William Arthur Ward

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Living with the speed of a child is never easy for us adults, but when we do, the joy of experiencing the little delights that life offers makes the “slowing down” all the more worth. Over the years, this valuable time is what helps not just our children to grow, but also help us adults to handle the bad days with these happy moments. For the “child’s‘ pace” teaches us to find time to notice the wonders’ of the skies, the smell of the earth and be surprised by the simple but beautiful things that life offers us.

“A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.” Paulo Coelho

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Quotes, Stories Around the World, Work

Choose the “Focus”

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“Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.” Paulo Coelho

As the new academic school year starts; curriculum is changed, new texts are bought as well depending on the school year, children are excited to join the tryouts for new school teams or plans are being made for the choice of subjects and career opportunities. During this entire process, the young minds are trying to focus on what they want to do and how they want to do, in the next academic session. Just like in the modern lives, these young minds are learning the art to focus and more importantly to “focus right”.

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” Aristotle Onassis

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Fast forward to the days of an adult, “finding the focus” has been the daily mantra or mode as we go about the grind. At the work arena, set the priorities, targets and goals, and focus which ones would be achieved. At the home front, one focuses on prioritizing the “daily task list” and deciding which work needs to be done first and at the right time is an art learned well over practice, patience and time.

“Instead of focusing on that circumstances that you cannot change – focus strongly and powerfully on the circumstances that you can.” Joy Page

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During the “focus” , many things need to be done in the right manner, from finding the right direction, deciding what to shift our mind, balancing to find the realism of the circumstances and above all, choosing to move forward in the right way. “Which way is the right one?” That would be answered best when we learn from time, experience with the inherent knowledge, wisdom and perceptions that lie within us. The “right focus” is as equal as “finding the focus” for by targeting the “lone black dot”, we may miss the “white landscape” that awaits us to make the change.

“Your destiny is to fulfill those things upon which you focus most intently. So choose to keep your focus on that which is truly magnificent, beautiful, uplifting and joyful. Your life is always moving toward something.” Ralph Marston

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The black dot

One day, a professor entered his classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. They all waited anxiously at their desks for the exam to begin.
The professor handed out the exams with the text facing down, as usual. Once he handed them all out, he asked the students to turn over the papers.
To everyone’s surprise, there were no questions–just a black dot in the center of the paper. The professor, seeing the expression on everyone’s faces, told them the following: “I want you to write about what you see there.” The students, confused, got started on the inexplicable task.
At the end of the class, the professor took all the exams, and started reading each one of them out loud in front of all the students.
All of them, with no exception, defined the black dot, trying to explain its position in the center of the sheet. After all had been read, the classroom silent, the professor started to explain:
“I’m not going to grade you on this, I just wanted to give you something to think about. No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot – and the same thing happens in our lives. However, we insist on focusing only on the black dot – the health issues that bother us, the lack of money, the complicated relationship with a family member, the disappointment with a friend. The dark spots are very small when compared to everything we have in our lives, but they are the ones that pollute our minds. Take your the eyes away from the black dots in your lives. Enjoy each one of your blessings, each moment that life gives you. Be happy and live a life filled with love!”

“Focus is a matter of deciding what things you’re not going to do.” John Carmack

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Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Reflections, Work

Anxious to Spill

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.” Charles Spurgeon

One of the worse things of happy times and days when everything goes as per the plan, is the niggling sense foreboding that something bad is going to happen. The problem arise most when we are doing well, yet one doesn’t understand how is it so and we often look for an excuse and cause for concern. One thinks of what will happen in a few years, after the exams, when children attend school or when the economy takes a turn for the worse. Worse of all are the thoughts of what will happen when one dies suddenly, about the events after, especially for loved ones, family, spouse, children, inheritance and life in general.

“The truth is that there is no actual stress or anxiety in the world; it’s your thoughts that create these false beliefs. You can’t package stress, touch it, or see it. There are only people engaged in stressful thinking.” Wayne Dyer

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Anxiety is a painful condition often invented by man. Consequently we age ahead of our time; torturing ourselves as well as others with our wandering thoughts, imagination, speculations and scenarios that have yet to happen. Learning to put them to rest and submit our concerns to God, time and Faith will limit the “constant anxiety” which tries to pull us down and bind its’ chains around us.

“Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.” Henry Ward Beecher

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What we very often fail to remember is that our life is a gift from God above. Every second and minute is precious. So worry about each problem or issue once and as they come. For each sequence of events can turn out to be different, many a time, beyond our control. Try not to make our mind overrun with one’s imagination based on the present, for that alone is to blame for the scenarios in the mind that are invented, drawing from events that haven’t yet happened. There is a fine line between imagination and discernment. Learning to distinguish between both will help us enjoy the happiness that the present day life offers.

“My anxiety doesn’t come from thinking about the future but from wanting to control it.” Hugh Prather

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“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:26-27).

Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Reflections, Stories Around the World

From One’s Perspective

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The Minister travelled for days by train and car and boat to one of the furthest islands in the nation. As he surveyed the bleak but inspiring landscape, he turned to a local villager and said: “You’re very remote here, aren’t you?” She responded: “Remote from what?”

The scenario of the glass being half empty to half full, or the grass being green on the other side; have been faced by most of us at some point of time or the other. The common thread of thinking running through these moments is “our perception and the reality of what happens”.

“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.” Aldous Huxley

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Perspective has been one of the concepts, since the early days, which has been studied and attempts have been made to quantify or qualitatively assess it by mathematicians, philosophers, scientists as well as artists. Despite all the theories proposed, research as well as insight; till this day perception doesn’t exist by itself but leans heavily on our innate beliefs, opinion, experience and knowledge.

“No man has the right to dictate what other men should perceive, create or produce, but all should be encouraged to reveal themselves, their perceptions and emotions, and to build confidence in the creative spirit.” Ansel Adams

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While one’s perspective may be right for some, it may be wrong for the other. Then the question arises, how do we draw the limits or the line? The practical aspect is possible as long as we ground ourselves in reality and lean on the principle of “to do unto others as one would want to be done unto oneself”. Simply put, as long as we learn to treat others with mutual respect, equality, freedom, justice, kindness and understanding; all the perspectives would reach the common target and purpose of doing good.

“What I need is perspective. The illusion of depth, created by a frame, the arrangement of shapes on a flat surface. Perspective is necessary. Otherwise there are only two dimensions. Otherwise you live with your face squashed up against a wall, everything a huge foreground, of details, close-ups, hairs, the weave of the bed-sheet, the molecules of the face. Your own skin like a map, a diagram of futility, crisscrossed with tiny roads that lead nowhere. Otherwise you live in the moment. Which is not where I want to be.” Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Like A Child’s Love

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“Just imagine becoming the way you used to be as a very young child, before you understood the meaning of any word, before opinions took over your mind. The real you is loving, joyful, and free. The real you is just like a flower, just like the wind, just like the ocean, just like the sun.” Don Miguel Ruiz

Children are simply beautiful. Interacting with children all day long, one is always fascinated by the numerous expressions, emotions they undergo, the innocent laughter and their mischief. A child’s love is always untainted at heart. Unfortunately as they grow from toddlers to adolescence, we adults and collectively society as well as media influences them, such that they lose their own selves and plunge into the niche that society carves for them. As parents, it is difficult to fight against this phenomenon as this has become the way of life and children will eventually grow, evolve and develop. Which is why, the growing years of a child are the most precious ones for parents and guardians.

“What it’s like to be a parent: It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love.” Nicholas Sparks

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The concept of unconditional love is witnessed very often through parenting. A child’s love is never labelled nor constrained. In their very early years, their unblemished minds and hearts have no limits or barriers or categorization on their love, kindness and care. A child’s reasoning mayn’t be understood by adults. Yet as we wait to see the turn of events, one realizes that their acts of childhood are always based on their untainted guileless love and kindness. To be like a child, is a gift for the mind, body and spirit.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Lao Tzu

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“Some time ago, a man punished his young daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became angry when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the girl brought the gift to her father on Christmas day and said, ‘This is for you, daddy.’
The man became embarrassed by his overreaction a few days before, but his rage continued when he saw that the box was empty. He yelled at her, ‘Don’t you know, when you give someone a gift, there’s supposed to be something inside?’
The little girl looked up at her dad with tears in her eyes and cried; ‘Oh, daddy, it’s not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They’re all for you, daddy.’The father was devastated. He put his arms around his daughter, and begged for her forgiveness.

A little while later, the girl died in an accident. Her father kept the gold box by his bed for many years and, whenever he was feeling down, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.”

“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” Victor Hugo

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