Category: Family and Society

Posted in Christian, Family and Society, Life, poetry, Stories Around the World

Making of the Family

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

The institution of marriage is one of the most sacred things of life. For two people to trust each other and share their lives, requires a magnanimous amount of courage, love and sacrifice. This journey involves the active and equal participation of two individuals, “give and take” from both sides and sharing of both sorrows and joys. Marriage then on leads to family.

Family is the place where a person should always be comfortable, understood, supported and heard. Family is the one place where one can hide from the whole world. Family has no envy, rivalry and controversy. Each person is understood almost without words. Family is where happiness lies in just being together.

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Richard Bach

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Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Being part of a family involves strength,respect, understanding and most of all love in order to flourish. Unless mutual effort lies in everyone’s part, family can never be complete and whole. Society has its’ own share of happy and broken families. Yet as long as we can help it, giving a try to keep the family going is a must. If all avenues and paths fail, then its’ time to break off the unit.

Below is a poem I found on one my social networking pages. Unfortunately it doesn’t have a title nor the author’s name. Yet these simple lines bring out the sweet essence of family.

Real happiness nests in simple:
In the way he comes from work every evening,
How she fills their home with comfort,
And how together they are every Saturday evening.

How she worries, whether he ate at dinner,
How he wonders what she is writing about,
How she permits not to turn off the light,
And how he agrees to turn it down.

How they make plans for the day and for the year,
How they sometimes do not interfere with each other,
How everything, in general, is going slowly
In one easy circle.

What is so wonderful about it? … It’s life! …
Here the pots rattle and the floorboards creak …
Yes! … but it is here that it is possible to love
And to read each other – to the last page …

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Reflections

Snowflakes of Own

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Please keep calling me a snowflake. I like being different than the next person. Every snowflake is unique. They all come from the same place, but are able to establish their own identities, free and clear of any other snowflake. Snowflakes make this world beautiful.” Ed Krassenstein

From a single ice crystal of the right size, when amalgamated become a white blanket but when viewed separately has their own existence. Each flake, when frozen and accreted in their crystal form give their own individual characteristics with shapes a combination of needle, column, plate and rime of varying degrees. At the core, they all share the principle of dust nucleus of supersaturated air particles surrounded by super-cooled cloud water droplets as they vary thought the differing temperature and humidity zones. With the electrostatic and cohesive forces of varying degrees, each snowflake has their own intricate pattern, design and structure.

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In short, keeping the physics as well as scientific jargon to bare minimum, no two snow flakes of nature have been formed exactly alike. Man being always his innate curious and experimental sense, artificial snowflakes have almost been created that are identical, but this has been done in very controlled and specific settings.

“It’s so fascinating to think about how each snowflake is completely individual – there are millions and millions of them, but each one is so unique.” Kate Bush

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One can never fail to appreciate and marvel the hand behind the existence of nature. In its’ essence nature has taught us many lessons during our co-existence. From the distinguishing fingerprint for one individual to distinct snowflakes, life has thrown each one of us our own pattern of struggles, emotions, achievements and setbacks. Each person has their story to tell during their respective timelines. Like the snow that falls, each one has their own right season. Through adaptability, acceptance and mutual regard; nature shows that life in all its’ phases can be of miracles as long as we follow the principles of coexistence, love and harmony. Like distinct snowflake, reach one is special in their own aspect. Learning to appreciate these simple things, makes life more beautiful to live by.

“Nature is full of genius, full of the divinity; so that not a snowflake escapes its fashioning hand.” Henry David Thoreau

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Reflections, Work

Address the Irritation

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“If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?” Rumi

We all have our own set of vices. One of the most frequent one that we indulge in is “irritation.” In the everyday life, ranging from the pigeons that spoil our car and the windowsill with their droppings to children who badger us with their queries (besides needing us to repeat things a hundred times), colleagues at work with snide comments to elderly who are hard of hearing or household chores piling up to less personal time for oneself; we are annoyed by someone or something at a given time.

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“Feeling irritated, restless, afraid, and hopeless is a reminder to listen more carefully.” Pema Chodron

It would be futile to address every irritation, for at times it may not be possible to do so. Instead reflect on the factors, sequence of events and reasons behind them for it would help us deal with “the irritation” better. To quote Carl Jung, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

The real art of countering them lies in knowing when to keep quiet or feign ignorance and when to react, to kill the irritation. Yet continuously addressing “the irritation” can wear one down. Instead practicing self- restraint can go a long way in making our day more pleasant and circumstances less trying.

“At times a person’s actions irritate us but not his words. At times a person’s words irritate us but not his actions. At times both words and actions are irritating. See the suffering behind these, ignore the irritation and practice kindness.” Anonymous

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Posted in Christian, Daily, Family and Society, Life, Stories Around the World

Of Candlemas and New Beginnings

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12)

With Candle-mas service and celebration all over the world, the end of the Christmas season has been officially marked. Candlemas (or Candlemass) is known as the Feast of the Presentation of Our Lord Jesus and the Feast of the Purification of the Blessed Virgin Mary, commemorating the presentation of Jesus at the Temple as based on the Jewish custom. It falls on February 2, which is traditionally the 40th day of the Christmas–Epiphany season. For those who of us who haven’t removed the Christmas decorations on Twelfth Night (Epiphany Eve), Candlemas is the day when one can take them down.

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In pre-Christian times, this day was known as the ‘Feast of Lights’ and celebrated the increase strength of the life-giving sun as winter gave way to spring. Later during the Christian era, this date marked the presentation of Christ to the temple. It was the day of the year when all the candles, that were used in the church during the coming year, were brought and blessed; thereby marking it as the Festival Day (or ‘mass’) of the Candles. In those days, candles were important not only because there was no electric lights; but were thought to be of protection against plague and illness and famine. As the years progressed; on Candlemas, the service is led by prayers and the candles used are blessed; serving as a symbol of Christ, who referred to himself as the Light of the World.

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Falling almost in the middle of Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox, Candlemas is considered to be time for fresh start. Each country has their own set of customs, celebrations and service. One can decide to honour this day by the beginning of doing something new, breaking an old habit, spending quality time and care for dear ones or devoting energy, time and steps for self-improvement.
For This is a simple way to make life a little better for one and for those touching our life in one aspect or other.

Candlemas Verse 

When New Year’s Day is past and gone;
Christmas is with some people done;
But further some will it extend,
And at Twelfth Day their Christmas end.
Some people stretch it further yet,
At Candlemas they finish it.
The gentry carry it further still
And finish it just when they will;
They drink good wine and eat good cheer
And keep their Christmas all the year.

– From Colonial Williamsburg, 18th century

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Quotes, Reflections

Screen “Timed”

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

The other day, my colleague and I were sitting at a cafe during our break hours. While enjoying our coffee, it was interesting to note that couples or groups at various tables were mostly on their phones. In the case of singlets, I would be able to understand but for couples to be mostly on phones felt strange. Late that day, during my drive back to home, the similar situations were seen among the students waiting for or on the bus, passengers on the bus, at the grocers’ – everyone were on their “screen time mode” be it phones, iPads or tablets. The question that popped in my mind was “how much of screen time do we attend to each day ?”

The sad fact is we all live in our screens. Trips are taken to showcase photos as proof of fun, not vice versa. If one disagrees, then why do we cram up so much sights in one day to see when we go on a break instead of enjoying each hour that we spend.

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Sometimes you have to disconnect to stay connected. Remember the old days when you had eye contact during a conversation? When everyone wasn’t looking down at a device in their hands? We’ve become so focused on that tiny screen that we forget the big picture, the people right in front of us. Regina Brett

Screen time has cost us our ability to talk. We lack communication primarily, because we are too busy staring at the screens, or tired from staring at the screen all day or we are too caught up on thinking about what is happening on the screen. Each one of us have our own coat of interests, acquaintances offline and online, yet when they interfere with our social bonding, family ties, relationships and health; its’ time to re-evaluate.

The drawback of modern communication is that we “message, chat or pictorize” but we don’t communicate or really know how one is feeling or understand and listen to each other. Consequently we lose out on real love, kinship and bonds; instead we get swamped by bouts or periods of loneliness, inattention, superficiality and emptiness. There are many instances in families, communities or campuses, where individuals live under the same roof but know squat about each other. Privacy should be respected, but knowing basics of whether you like tea or coffee, vegan or not, healthy or unwell, address or one’s dislikes and likes is essential to forge and maintain bonds.

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“It’s not just about limiting screen time; it’s about teaching kids to develop good habits in real life As well as managing their screen time.” Cynthia Crossley

The worst hit from excessive screen time are families. They live together but sit in their gadgets, completely oblivious to each other speaking “different languages”. Parents and children forget to talk to each other. There are exchange of words but no connection, intimacy, enjoyment or relaxation to just be together. “The key is to teach them how to be safe with technology, because ultimately, we want our children to be in charge of technology, rather than feeling technology is in charge of them,” as said by Elaine Halligan, London director of The Parent Practice

Knowing to delegate screen time is necessary, as each year in life happens only once. Adults can’t relive their childhood years like their children. Each one will grow up quickly and time will fly. Kids will grow up quickly, and we will not be able to sit with them, read books or just have some fun. We adults might find it late to spend time with someone dear, because life in general is lived quickly. We need to distribute our time to one another. When “screen time” becomes “screen life”, its’ time to change before we too get swiped by a tap.

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Work

Caught and Crabbed

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

The highest treason a crab can commit is to make a leap for the rim of the bucket. Steven Pressfield

On any visit to the fish market, the bucket of crabs is always a given availability in the mornings. An interesting phenomenon is noticed when all crabs are put together in a bucket. When one of them tries to get out of the bucket, others pull him back. Sometimes crabs show their anger especially when they drag their kinsman at the last moment, when he has almost reached the edge of the bucket. This pattern of behaviour noted in crabs results in the efforts of any one crab’s escape being undermined by the others, ensuring the group’s collective demise.

“You cannot strengthen one by weakening another; and you cannot add to the stature of a dwarf by cutting off the leg of a giant.” Benjamin Franklin Fairless

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We may have come across this phenomenon among our fellow beings, known as “Crab mentality” or “crabs in a bucket (also barrel, basket or pot)” is typical of selfish, myopic thinking which is best described by the phrase “if I can not, then you can not”. The analogy in human behaviour or the way of thinking is when members of a group will attempt to reduce the self-confidence of any member to halt their progress especially those who accomplish anything beyond the others. The root trigger of this behaviour stems out of envy, resentment, spite, conspiracy, or competitive feelings.

“Like those crabs which dress themselves with seaweed, we wear belief and custom.” Cyril Connolly

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We rarely realize how many situations we have come across with peers behaving like crabs or we being one at times. There are many simple examples to highlight how easy is to be one with a crab mentality in our daily life. When a person tries to turn over a new leaf like quit smoking or control the alcohol intake limit; then friends say “it will not work anyway,” signals crab mentality. When you get a second degree and colleagues loudly wonder, exclaim and question why you need it because you already have a job highlights crab mentality again. While starting something new like an art, learning a new skill we often hear rash words of being stupid, wrong timing, nothing good will come of it; at times they all echo the pulling down behavior of the crabs.

This is human nature, and nothing can be done about it, except for one thing – to be stronger than a bucket and crawl forward, even when a hundred people are pulling you back.

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Posted in Christian, Daily, Family and Society, Reflections

Gentleness through Time

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.” – Francis de Sales

From time to time we meet gentle people. One of the attributes that is lost in today’s world is gentleness laced with tenderness. This virtue is rather difficult to meet in a society that admires rudeness and strength. We are encouraged to achieve goals and as quickly as possible, even if we disregard the honest approach and use shortcuts, suffering in the process. Consequently for the value of success, achievement and performance; the price we pay is too high. For to excel in such an environment, there is no room for tenderness. The gentle one echoes the words of Mathew 12:20 which says “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he has brought justice through to victory.”

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“When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time.” Francis de Sales

A gentle person is attentive to the strengths and weaknesses of other people, enjoys being together which is as important as accomplishing anything. A gentle person walks with ease, looks with affection, touches with reverence and knows that true growth requires care with quiet inner strength. In our rough and sometimes inflexible world, tenderness can be a vivid reminder of the presence of God.

“Let us seek the grace of a cheerful heart, an even temper, sweetness, gentleness, and brightness of mind, as walking in His light, and by His grace. Let us pray to Him to give us the spirit of ever-abundant, ever springing love, which overpowers and sweeps away the vexations of life by its own richness and strength, and which, above all things, unites us to Him who is the fountain and the centre of all mercy, loving-kindness, and joy.” – John Henry Newman

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