Personal Musings – Page 35 – Sugar And Spice… Among Other Things

Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Reflections, Work

Address the Irritation

Posted on February 4, 2019December 5, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?” Rumi

We all have our own set of vices. One of the most frequent one that we indulge in is “irritation.” In the everyday life, ranging from the pigeons that spoil our car and the windowsill with their droppings to children who badger us with their queries (besides needing us to repeat things a hundred times), colleagues at work with snide comments to elderly who are hard of hearing or household chores piling up to less personal time for oneself; we are annoyed by someone or something at a given time.

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

“Feeling irritated, restless, afraid, and hopeless is a reminder to listen more carefully.” Pema Chodron

It would be futile to address every irritation, for at times it may not be possible to do so. Instead reflect on the factors, sequence of events and reasons behind them for it would help us deal with “the irritation” better. To quote Carl Jung, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

The real art of countering them lies in knowing when to keep quiet or feign ignorance and when to react, to kill the irritation. Yet continuously addressing “the irritation” can wear one down. Instead practicing self- restraint can go a long way in making our day more pleasant and circumstances less trying.

“At times a person’s actions irritate us but not his words. At times a person’s words irritate us but not his actions. At times both words and actions are irritating. See the suffering behind these, ignore the irritation and practice kindness.” Anonymous

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Christian, Daily, Personal Musings, poetry

Walking with Us

Posted on February 3, 2019November 16, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

During the weekend at the beach, as I watched the waves lapping the shoreline, the words from the poem “Footprints in the Sand” drifted to my mind. During the freshman years in my college, the poster of the poem had graced the hallway leading to the indoor recreational area in the dormitory area. Over the years, the words have been the refuge for me and many of my friends, giving hope and courage in the days we were tested.

“No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Joshua 1:5 and Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Source: Amazon

Many of us at some point in our lives may have come to a point, when we were plagued with fear, doubts, insecurities and uncertainty of whether things would get better or are we alone in this world. These feelings echo in us during the trying times or when go astray and fall into trouble. Yet what we don’t realize is that by His Grace and our Faith in Him, we are never alone. Whenever we feel that no body understands us or we are all alone, the Lord is always there with us, guarding and guiding us through the dark times. As we strengthen our Faith, the feeling that He is always watching over us becomes an inherent part of our being, leaving us feeling cherished all the time.

“Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.” Ephesians 2:19-22

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Daily, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Work

Caught and Crabbed

Posted on January 30, 2019November 16, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

The highest treason a crab can commit is to make a leap for the rim of the bucket. Steven Pressfield

On any visit to the fish market, the bucket of crabs is always a given availability in the mornings. An interesting phenomenon is noticed when all crabs are put together in a bucket. When one of them tries to get out of the bucket, others pull him back. Sometimes crabs show their anger especially when they drag their kinsman at the last moment, when he has almost reached the edge of the bucket. This pattern of behaviour noted in crabs results in the efforts of any one crab’s escape being undermined by the others, ensuring the group’s collective demise.

“You cannot strengthen one by weakening another; and you cannot add to the stature of a dwarf by cutting off the leg of a giant.” Benjamin Franklin Fairless

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

We may have come across this phenomenon among our fellow beings, known as “Crab mentality” or “crabs in a bucket (also barrel, basket or pot)” is typical of selfish, myopic thinking which is best described by the phrase “if I can not, then you can not”. The analogy in human behaviour or the way of thinking is when members of a group will attempt to reduce the self-confidence of any member to halt their progress especially those who accomplish anything beyond the others. The root trigger of this behaviour stems out of envy, resentment, spite, conspiracy, or competitive feelings.

“Like those crabs which dress themselves with seaweed, we wear belief and custom.” Cyril Connolly

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

We rarely realize how many situations we have come across with peers behaving like crabs or we being one at times. There are many simple examples to highlight how easy is to be one with a crab mentality in our daily life. When a person tries to turn over a new leaf like quit smoking or control the alcohol intake limit; then friends say “it will not work anyway,” signals crab mentality. When you get a second degree and colleagues loudly wonder, exclaim and question why you need it because you already have a job highlights crab mentality again. While starting something new like an art, learning a new skill we often hear rash words of being stupid, wrong timing, nothing good will come of it; at times they all echo the pulling down behavior of the crabs.

This is human nature, and nothing can be done about it, except for one thing – to be stronger than a bucket and crawl forward, even when a hundred people are pulling you back.

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Life, Personal Musings, Quotes

Refocus the Purpose

Posted on January 22, 2019November 16, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“When you are standing in the middle of a storm you have two choices: Pray to God that it goes away. Or, start praying to God that he gives you the wisdom to figure out why you’re standing in the middle of a storm.” Shannon L. Alder

One of the constant battles that we often wage with ourselves is whether what we are doing is of any purpose or not. Man is filled with uncertainties and doubts of whether the life he lives is of any meaning. Unfortunately there are no guarantees to life that ensures that we would be able to predict the entire course of events, or that what we do would be of purpose all the time. While every second of our life may not be meaningful, as long as we are happy and at peace the time spent is worth it.

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

The who, why, where and what centering around us drive our existence. Our purpose in life is the reason why we rise up to each day and live it. To find purpose, we need to centre our lives around those or someone or something we care about. From meaningful satisfying work to responsibilities to family, friends and oneself; we need to find a focus to direct our attention, will and energy. For then that purpose will to guide our decisions, influence our actions and behavior, shape goals, offer a sense of direction, and create meaning. Each person has their own unique perspective and purpose, with different paths that will intersect with other fellow paths at certain point of time. As our purpose and paths will fluctuate depending on our experiences, life lessons as well as interests, there is no set purpose for anyone. But we can have a common outlook which is why no matter how purpose driven our life is, unless we make emotional, spiritual and mental connections, we often find ourselves in a rut or loss of impetus.

“I don’t want to live in the kind of world where we don’t look out for each other. Not just the people that are close to us, but anybody who needs a helping hand. I cant change the way anybody else thinks, or what they choose to do, but I can do my bit.” Charles de Lint

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Quotes, Random Thoughts, Uncategorized

While Evolving

Posted on January 20, 2019January 20, 2019 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

‘You are being presented with a choice: evolve or remain. If you choose to remain unchanged, you will be presented with the same challenges, the same routine, the same storms, the same situations, until you learn from them, until you love yourself enough to say “no more”, until you choose change. If you choose to evolve, you will connect with the strength within you, you will explore what lies outside the comfort zone, you will awaken to love, you will become, you will be. You have everything you need. Choose to evolve. Choose love.’ Creig Crippen

On analyzing the social and cultural anthropology of man, “to evolve” has been a phenomenon going on from centuries. While through some years it was in a drastic manner, the other years would have seen gradual subtle changes. Either way, change becomes inevitable. Yet in the process of “evolving ourselves” care should be taken to not lose ourselves, our principles as well as our morale. For this, few root clauses to keep in mind would include the following.

Identify ourselves and our patterns, gaining insight into both. The latter would help us weed out the negatives and keep the positives to keep our life cycles going.

Restructuring our mentality of our past so as to learn from the good and the bad, never holding onto the regrets as they weigh us when we try to evolve ourselves. Acknowledge the past but don’t let it dictate or structure the future.

Acknowledge our true calling, either profession wise, or what we like doing the most. Take for instance, being a librarian doesn’t mean we have to restrict our inner muse for art or baking, as they may be monetarily unrewarding. Do anything productive that makes you happy and helps you grow as well.

Mankind is not likely to salvage civilization unless he can evolve a system of good and evil which is independent of heaven and hell. George Orwell

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Accepting ourselves wholeheartedly with our shortcomings whether the latter maybe physical, verbal or social. We are all made different, and the beauty of nature and creation lies in that. Whether by chance or by creation, just as no two fingerprints are identical, neither can we lower ourselves by scaling oneself to others’ eyes. By realizing that we may be different but unique, we can free up a whole lot of negative thinking and comparisons. Setting standards for oneself doesn’t mean altering or hiding what we were born with. Instead using our given talents and multiplying them is what setting standards and aiming to reach them includes.

Appreciate our fellow beings, for then in the course of evolution we learn not to lost the basic humaneness that is quite often, a missing component these days.

Aim to grow, try to learn but remember to say Grace knowing that our existence in this world is always momentary. In doing so, as we learn to evolve we learn to nurture our gifts and treasures that we were given.

Above all, as we evolve for reaching a particular target or focus; being flexible but surefooted, smart but kind, strong but gentle and honest would help us evolve ourselves with a clear conscience, inner peace as well as quiet strength laced with calmness.

I think the only way for you to grow and evolve is to keep listening, keep moving forward, keep jumping in and trying to experience. Dianne Reeves

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts

Christian, Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings

Refresh from Tiredness

Posted on January 17, 2019November 9, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

There are some days when we get exhausted, not just physically but mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. Yet when we try to relax, it doesn’t happen. The question then arises what are we tired of. The truth is we are just tired of ourselves.

We are exhausted by our experiences as well as expectations, fears, speculation and anxiety.

We are drained from our feelings of guilt and trying to control everything.

We get spent by trying to model situations, by trying to achieve the impossibility of predicting every twist and turn, every reaction and getting ahead of time to control every minute detail.

We get worn out by looking back at every instance for any analogue and cliches.

Source: https://vk.com/public75290000

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-29)

The easiest way to tackle this is pretty simple but the most difficult to achieve. The way out is to stop comparing, stop scaring ourselves, not building illusions, do not think for others and stop the constant drivel and dialogues in our own head. When in the state of being bombarded by the baloney of thoughts, let go and realize that neither did we create ourselves nor can we attempt to. Just like the first man was created by God or even if the atheists say, it was a lot of sciences and chances, the very same God (or chances as they believe) will take care of all the rest. So breathe, live and rest.

“He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10)

Source:https://vk.com/public75290000

Christian, Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, Stories Around the World

Drowned by Expectations

Posted on January 13, 2019November 14, 2018 by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

When adversity strikes, that’s when you have to be the most calm. Take a step back, stay strong, stay grounded and press on. LL Cool J

Life is known for its’ curve balls, treacherous routes and sudden rides. When we start our journey, we were given a blank slate. Over the years, with the lessons that we have learnt, instances that we have witnessed and experiences that we have gone through, we start filling in the spaces. Somewhere along the way, when we use the colour of expectations too much, we discover the fallacy too late. For every adversity has its’ own way in and way out, but the path clears when we remove our blinders, lower our expectations and use our common sense to put our faith, trust and intelligence to good use. Although the “drowning man” had blind faith, if we are unable to discern that “His Grace and His Faith” can also show us the path at the right time when we look for it, then we need to cement our Faith with insight and common sense. Else this will cost us our blessings from His Grace, His Love and His Mercy.

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https://vk.com/slideshowarts

A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help. Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.” The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.” So the rowboat went on. Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.” To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.” So the motorboat went on. Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.” To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the helicopter reluctantly flew away. Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!” To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?” (Various versions of this parable can be read online and has been quoted in different works like Beck, Joko; Smith, Steve (1989). Everyday Zen: Love and Work.)