Tag: introspective

Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Tiny, But of Effect

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

One of the many things that one discovers along the way in life, is the various aspects of human nature and the fragility that it holds. The peace within oneself can be easily shattered in a matter of seconds. A full blown crisis or change in opinion or loss of relationships, all these and many more similar types upset the fragile balance within. While the external factors may trouble the peace, many a time it may be the inner thoughts which create havoc.

“Negative thoughts stick around because we believe them, not because we want them or choose them.” Andrew J. Bernstein

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By default, when one observes, it mayn’t be the crisis that breaks one down or the relationships, but the negative feelings that have slowly accumulated during the comfortable moments of life. Gradually the negativism erodes the inner peace and builds on destroying the best gifts that life has in store for each one of us. The question here then arises, what are we going to do about the inner negativism. While the initial thing to do is to address them, in sequence one should channel the energy to the more productive aspects of life. It jut takes a turn of thoughts to make a difference in life.

“It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts.” Robert H. Schuller

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The battle of the beetles

On the slope of Long’s Peak in Colorado lies the ruin of a gigantic tree. Naturalists tell us that it stood for some four hundred years. It was a seedling when Columbus landed at San Salvador, and half grown when the pilgrims settled at Plymouth. During the course of its long life it was struck by lightning fourteen times and the innumerable avalanches and storms of four centuries thundered past it. It survived them all. In the end, however, an army of beetles attacked the tree and leveled it to the ground. The insects ate their way through the bark and gradually destroyed the inner strength of the tree by their tiny but incessant attacks. A forest giant which age had not withered, nor lightning blasted, nor storms subdued, fell at last before beetles so small that a man could crush them between his forefinger and his thumb.
There is a parallel in this story which should serve as a warning to us. Most of us can survive times of crisis. We summon the strength of faith or resolve for most any battle that we face head on. Whether it is in our professional or personal lives, we often overcome great obstacles. It is the small things like jealousy, anger, resentment, pettiness and negativity that eat us from the inside, which often bring about our downfall. Unlike a giant tree, we can identify and fight those moral or ethical beetles.” We must, however, be constantly on guard.
Author: Dr. Harry Emerson Fosdick

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Posted in Daily, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

End of the Trail

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

To experience the feeling of happiness after any difficult situation is indeed a blessing. The feeling running across the family with a member suffering from a grave illness, the joy of getting a job after constant rejection, the success of an idea which was first viewed with skepticism or the clearing of exams in the midst of personal issues are few of the many ways wherein the initial adverse moments have been diminished with the final outcome.

“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” Oscar Wilde

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As each one crosses each stage of life, the manner and range of adversities vary. Yet what runs common across them all, is the strong will to categorize the various opinions, behaviour, words and emotions; sift them and take up what is progressive for the task at hand and let the wind blow the rest away. More than the circumstances; it is how one reacts to them, that matters the most. The potential of each one of us is never completely tapped, for each day one has the capacity to learn new different matter, master diverse talents and achieve the hidden dreams which float in the corners of the mind.

“Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it.” Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

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We Made It

We made it.
Despite the fear and predictions of doom.
We made it.
Even though there were days when we were tired
and there were days when we forgot who we were.
We made it.
And we must thank the stars for this.
And the birds for their beautiful songs.
And the strangers who were careful to smile.
We made it.
– Ron Atchison

“When the awareness of what is achievable brushes your life, your journey has begun.” Lorii Myers

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Posted in Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Random Thoughts

Start the Change

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“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” Albert Einstein

Of recent, two of my childhood friends had quit their careers based on their training. While one switched their passion from advertising to pure art; the other switched from business administration to the kitchen, where the flavours of various cuisines and the science of cooking were learnt on professional lines. These decisions of theirs had given the thought of “dream career” a new meaning.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” Leo Tolstoy

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Each one of us have been blessed with a different skill, the passion towards an art or learning from within. While society may define certain careers as grand or of higher social standing; the reality is that simply pursuing them for the sake of “the social fame” will leave one depressed and dejected in the long run. During my stint as a career adviser during few of the school and adolescent counselling meet, what comes to mind is the words of my professor, “Do what you love, for that is what you will excel in”. If the road towards that dream isn’t feasible now, don’t let the skill die but nurture it, not just so to lose it but to regain own peace of mind, while engaging in it at times. It is never late to make a change in any form. For doing something that one loves, is thousand times far better than not doing it at all.

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Screenplay

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It’s Not Too Late
Ron Atchison

It’s not too late… the angel said.
Even though the world’s a mess…
Even though you’re not that young…
Even though you’ve made mistakes and have been afraid
It’s not too late…
And then I saw the world through the angel’s eyes…
I saw the colors I could paint
The bridges I could build
The lives that I could touch
The dreams that could still come true
And it became very clear to me…
That it’s not too late.

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, poetry, Quotes

Find Thyself First

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“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Lucille Ball

When my cousin had joined university, it was a tough time for her. With an innate shy nature, she was the quietest and youngest in the family, babied by the elder cousins, siblings and family. Staying away from the family network for the first time was difficult. For she had to not only settle in the campus, but also make a new circle of friends, shift into a totally different surroundings and lifestyle from that at the farm. The first few months saw frequent late night phone calls, worried texts and harried emails. Later on their frequency slowly died down. As we kept in regular touch, I had asked her how she manage to cope with the academics, social life and the new city. Her reply that, “She had found herself” was something to think about.

“If you want to be happy, be.” Leo Tolstoy

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All of us have our own floundering moments; where in one is lost and bewildered. Those times, seeking out the inner self is more important than just moving on daily. All of us g through new situations in life. For personal, professional, physical and social growth, one does indeed need to step out of the comfort zone. Before doing so, one needs to make certain promises to oneself. Unless one tends to put them put mentally first, though not on grounds of pure personal gain at another’s expense; one will later break down and find it difficult to move ahead. We all have our dreams to fulfill, ships to sail, winds to catch and rainbows to see. However, unless we make promises true to ourselves deep within; finding that phase of happiness, joy and serenity would be an improbable reality.

“Sing like no one’s listening, love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like nobody’s watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” Mark Twain

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Promise yourself
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.
C.D. Larson

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Posted in Daily, Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Reflections

Through the Aftermath

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“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” Henry Ford

The ordeal of getting involved in the wrong is horrible. Speaking for those who face it on a daily basis or see violence from a professional view point, in the health sector where people come beaten, injured or batter to the emergency room, the police who has to assess the horrible crime scene, the rape victim and their family of loved ones who have to collectively face the ordeal of coming out of their nightmare, the court which handles gross unjust cases or event he teachers at school who have to tackle he silent bullying in a very subtle way. Above all, all those who return from war, tying to make sense of the entire event, what had be done and the impact. The after effect is more mind numbing than the event itself. Each and similar situation to the lines above, reflects a little of the post traumatic stress that one goes through. Whether it be profession related, the inner mental trauma or the ongoing social, verbal or physical violence that one has to endure, witness or handle; the negative side of humanity has a crippling effect long after the actual event has happened.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

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Coming out of the aftermath is the most difficult part. Facing the stress long after the situation has been done and over, is the most traumatic part. Each one of us have our sets of traumatic moments. The fear of being alone after being mugged or violated, the battle within to come out of the vice of smoking, the handling of daily life after the war or facing school for a bully-victim, all these need one to find their own reserve of courage and strength to brave the situation and face the day. It takes immense will to come out of the quagmire of negative emotions from the past that may bombard one and collapse the day.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'” Eleanor Roosevelt

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Walking through those painful feelings and recollections isn’t done in a huge leap, but in baby steps. Yet once started to cope, one discovers that each one has it within themselves to face the fear and learn to brave the storm. Whether the steps made be big or small ones, those hardly matters more than the fact that one has resolved to move on and address their fears, than dwell in them. We are all survivors in our own way. Finding the light and purpose in life, is what matters the most. Once we draw out the strength and courage hidden deep within, one discovers that life is more beautiful now than before.

“I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.” Louisa May Alcott

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Strength and Courage

It takes strength to be certain,
It takes courage to have doubts.

It takes strength to fit in,
It takes courage to stand out.

It takes strength to share a friend’s pain,
It takes courage to feel your own pain.

It takes strength to hide your own pain,
It takes courage to show it and deal with it.

It takes strength to stand guard,
It takes courage to let down your guard.

It takes strength to conquer,
It takes courage to surrender.

It takes strength to endure abuse,
It takes courage to stop it.

It takes strength to stand alone,
It takes courage to lean on a friend.

It takes strength to love,
It takes courage to beloved.

It takes strength to survive,
It takes courage to live.

Written by David L. Griffith

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, poetry, Reflections, Work

Improvise and Lighten

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and a richness to life that nothing else can bring.” Oscar Wilde

As the late summer rains hit the early evening skies, the drive back from work got longer than usual, with the roads being slippery and visibility strained. Consequently the “train of late” followed. Late dinner, the bedtime of children delayed, house still in a mess and chores left undone. It takes all of one’s mental will to not scream but handle the situation to the best of their capacity. The entire mood can be made dark for not just one person but rest of the related people (here the family) when things go berserk. The anger of one person can be transferred to the rest, creating a negative ripple effect and impact the peace and happiness of the rest along the way. Or one can chose to make the best of the situation. Instead of putting the blame on anyone, it would be a thousand times better to find humour in the fiasco, ending the day on a better note and lighter mood.

“We do not remember days, we remember moments.” Cesare Pavese

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Unknowingly (more than knowingly) one is making moments and memories by every minute. While at times, we may have the “good times” , others may be the “bad times”. Yet it is how one handles them that makes the difference year-round. Each negative thought or action that one has or does, influences the feelings, memory and actions of those around one especially children; if not immediately, then later over a period of time. When one masters the art of dealing the situation at hand, in a light or positive mood; then the emotions and memories transferred to the others would be positive, uplifting and an enriching experience for both the doer and the rest around them. All of us have it in us, to make the best of ourselves. Though it’s alright to rave and rant at the moment, buckle up and start doing their own best to make the situation better. Doing so, will not enrich our own treasure chest of memories but make memorable ones for later and for others.

“Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.” Tony Robbins

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A glorious recipe for the soul
Fold two hands together,
And express a dash of sorrow;
Marinate it overnight,
And work on it tomorrow.

Chop one grudge in tiny pieces
Add several cups of love,
Dredge with a large-sized smile,
Mix in ingredients from above.

Dissolve the hate within you,
By doing a good deed;
Cut in and help your friend,
If he or she should be in need.

Stir in laughter, love and thankfulness,
From the heart it has to come;
Toss with genuine kindness, then
share with folks who may need some.

The amount of people served,
Will all depend on you …
This recipe can feed an entire world,
If you really want it to!

Author Unknown

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, Stories Around the World, Work

Share the Light

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“We only have what we give.” Isabel Allende

During the floods that had hit my hometown a year ago, it was a difficult time. Some from the community had lost a sizable amount of crop, livestock and trade; others had their homes uprooted and some escaped by an inch. The aftermath saw everyone pitching in, with funds pouring in from different corners around the globe. No one was left alone to pick up the pieces and rebuild again. Everyone, from the community, volunteers and outsiders had pitched in to restore the neighbourhood.

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” John Holmes

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Connectedness is an essential part of our lives. Unless one learns to help those around him, self improvement wouldn’t be within their own reach. For a person to grow, the environment around him has to be whole. Take a child’s life for instance. His world is complete when he receives the love, care and joy. Then the happiness is spread around him, lighting up the lives around him. Yet when the little one is troubled by any tiny aspect, the whole mood shifts. How different will it be for the adult ?

For one person to prosper, he must be at peace with those around him. The welfare of one person depends not on him alone, but when he learns to help others. Life of one has and will always be measured not by material gains alone; but by the numerous lives it touches with positive vibes. Each one has a pair of hands, to help and be helped. Harmony rests not with self alone, but also with the world around one.

“In teaching others we teach ourselves.” Traditional proverb

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Growing Good Corn
There once was a farmer who grew award-winning corn. Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won a blue ribbon. One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbours.
‘How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbours when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?’ the reporter asked.
‘Why sir,’ said the farmer, ‘didn’t you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbours grow inferior corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn.’
Source:James Bender (Author of How to Talk Well, published in 1994 by McGraw-Hill Book Company Inc.)

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