Tag: people

Posted in Family and Society, Personal Musings, poetry, Random Thoughts

A bit of the Pebble or Clod ?!

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Your reality is as you perceive it to be. So, it is true, that by altering this perception we can alter our reality.” William Constantine

When one of my friends had received a promotion, the catch was the transfer attached to it. During the last meet, which was both a farewell and treat; we had asked her about the family. For her, family of four, relocating the kids to a new school would be difficult and transfer for her husband wasn’t an option. The new place being four hour drive, regular travel wasn’t an option. On asked, how would she manage; pat came the reply, it’s just for a couple of months and then things will fall into place. It was refreshing to feel the optimistic and practical approach.

“The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.” Al Neuharth

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A lot many time, one often encounters many situation not to personal liking or choice. While at times, one does feel a bit trod on and over whelmed, sticking on and staying true is a matter of principle, perspective and perception. Situations do change like the wind, but it’s how one masters them with the right perspective that makes the approach different. To whine and grumble; or buckle up and forge a new way ahead, is all in the mind, beliefs and actions. The wind blows either for or against, depending on the position we stand in. When the wind becomes a tempest; learning to bend and flow helps one to find their feet in the aftermath.

“We must look at the lens through which we see the world, as well as the world we see, and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world.” Stephen R. Covey

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The Clod and the Pebble
By William Blake
“Love seeketh not itself to please,
Nor for itself hath any care,
But for another gives its ease,
And builds a Heaven in Hell’s despair.”

So sung a little Clod of Clay
Trodden with the cattle’s feet,
But a Pebble of the brook
Warbled out these metres meet:

“Love seeketh only self to please,
To bind another to its delight,
Joys in another’s loss of ease,
And builds a Hell in Heaven’s despite.”

“I am still determined to be cheerful and to be happy in whatever situation. I may be, for I have also learnt from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions and not upon our circumstances.” Martha Washington

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Reflections

More than Imprints

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

These days, while driving for an out of the town workshop ( with attendance made compulsory from the head boss); the hassles faced in mapping out the course or drive isn’t as big as compared to any similar happening, lets say, around twenty years ago. With Google giving the directions, vehicles equipped with navigation, phones that function as maps and better roads; on the whole venturing into a new territory isn’t met with fear of getting lost anymore.

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
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Rewinding back to those years, one relied on the passerby who were generous with their navigation advice and sense of direction. Many a time, getting on the wrong road resulted in one stepping out at the local roadside shop, asking for specific directions, enjoying a good cup of coffee and then heading back on the road with fresh directions and in better spirits. Those better spirits are in part, from the print left behind by those around us. Though these days, Google helps us to navigate; there are still imprints left behind.

“I am grateful for every precious moment life offers me. It allows me to see the miracle in each experience.” Emmanuel Dagher

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From the numerous social interactions that we all experience, few stay on the mind stronger than before. May be it could be attached with pleasantness, a warm feeling and happiness or peace within; while other imprints may leave a bitter feel. Which ever way, we all leave our imprints in different ways. Just like the fellow passerby of yesteryear, when one chooses to leave behind heart-prints ( not just imprints) it makes life more beautiful. Over the years, as one realizes the more heart-prints one leaves behind, the treasure chest of memories, happiness and peace with contentment can be experienced in every waking hour.

“Every day in every way we are leaving our mark.” Rachael Bermingham

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Heartprints
Author Unknown

Whatever our hands touch –
We leave fingerprints!
On walls, on furniture
On doorknobs, dishes, books.
There’s no escape.
As we touch we leave our identity.

Wherever I go today
Help me leave heartprints!
Heartprints of compassion
Of understanding and love.

Heartprints of kindness
And genuine concern.
May my heart touch a lonely neighbor
Or a runaway daughter
Or an anxious mother
Or perhaps an aged grandfather.

Send me out today
To leave heartprints.
And if someone should say,
“I felt your touch,”
May they also sense the love
that is deep within my heart.

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, poetry, Quotes, Reflections

Priceless Over Time

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is focused attention.” Richard Warren

The other day, few colleagues were discussing on the special gifts that were given to them on anniversaries, birthdays, special days and the like. While a lot of “how lovely”, “wonderful” and the like, were being said; a couple of us had raised eyebrows within. The reason being simply that one wasn’t gifted anything really exquisite for special occasions. On reflecting back, my spouse had bought me gifts unexpected, not because of a special day but because he saw that I had needed it. A booking at the spa, evening night out with my girlfriends, stepping in out of the way to drop and pick me up from the salon were not on any special days, but because he had wanted to help out. For us, special occasions are marked by a special meal, home cooked and quiet time with family. But then this perspective depends on how one sees it. As I always believe in, each one to their own. But harm not oneself or those around them. What is important is whether the “better halves” are around for support, help and love especially when the situation gets tough, either at the professional, home or on social front.

“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.” Helen Keller

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The feeling of being regarded special and own in the eyes of the other is something that can’t be explained by words alone. The regard of a true friend who steps up and is there unasked. The mother who makes the special dish that her son likes but she herself hates. The father who delays his own personal expense in favour of his children or his parents. Teenagers who do their chores quietly, going about their things without a fuss and being responsible in the family. The next door neighbour who pops in with a homemade pie when they know that with a sick child, cooking for the rest isn’t an option. Grandparents who offer to baby sit so that the parents can have some quiet personal time. All these are different forms of love, that don’t come with a flash and bang. It is this kind of love, concern and kindness that one longs to happen.

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” Erich Segal

Source:https://vk.com/slideshowarts
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There are different facets of love, with each own being special in it’s form or kind. To live in harmony and have meaningful relationships with those around us, one needs to love and be loved; without any tag attached. This kind of love heals, helps one face the difficult times and overcome them. The downfall is that, this kind of love, tends to be taken for granted. One realizes it’s significance, when one loses it, sometimes by their hands or by no fault of theirs. Learning to appreciate these special kinds of love is what makes life beautiful and fills the treasure chest for the unexpected dark, stormy days.

“Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

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I’ve nothing else to offer, so, to you, it’s love I’ll send.
It’s nothing that I borrowed and it’s nothing that I’d lend.

It has no dollar value and it can’t be overused.
It isn’t fragile, so it can’t break, though often it’s abused.

I’ve given it to others, but each time it’s unique.
Its meaning’s always different; it depends on what you seek.

It’s something you can store away, to feel when you’re in need.
But never is it on display, its beauty can’t be seen.

I’m giving it ‘no strings attached,’ no costly warranty.
This love that I am sending has a lifetime guarantee.
Author Unknown

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Reflections, Stories Around the World

Foggy Glasses

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

Although the winds are changing to the tune of autumn, certain areas still have their afternoon muggy heat to hold true to. On such times of the day, the car air-conditioner saves one from the humidity. Yet the incessant fogginess lurking when one steps out from the vehicle serves to keep the glass wipes always at hand, especially for spectacle wearers like yours truly. Yesterday while on errands, I had to repeatedly clean off the haziness on my glasses, while stepping out of my car. If one forgets to, the blurred surroundings remind that what one perceives isn’t what it is out there. The repeated cleaning reminded me of the article I had read across my social media pages of “Dirty Laundry”.

“The self-righteous scream judgments against others to hide the noise of skeletons dancing in their own closets.” John Mark Green

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A lot of instances in our lives involve cleaning the glasses or windows. To pint a finger and critically decide is far easier than getting down to the task of cleaning own windows. What one persistently fails to realize is the loss of missing out on the beautiful views of life, than just saying words that may burn later. Life is too short to miss out on the panoramic views it offers. Getting down to cleaning the glasses may leave us feeling more content and happy, than sitting simply twiddling thumbs and pointing fingers. So why would one want to miss out on the gifts of relationships, views and people that life offers ?

“We have an inner window through which we can see the world, and though it gets cloudy in life, it’s our job to wipe it clean and see things as they really are.” Sebastian Koch

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
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A young, successful couple found their dream home. Shortly after purchasing it, the couple sat at their kitchen table to indulge in a delicious breakfast. The wife looked out the window, and to her surprise, she saw her neighbor hanging dirty laundry on the clothesline. ‘That laundry isn’t clean, it’s still dirty!’ she said to her husband. ‘Someone needs to teach her a thing or two when it comes to washing her clothes!’

A couple of days later, the couple sat down at their kitchen table for another meal. The wife saw her neighbor hanging clothes on the clothesline. But this time something was different. ‘Wow, look!’ the surprised wife said to her husband, ‘Her clothes are clean! Someone must have taught her how to wash her clothes!’ Without raising his head from his plate, the husband kindly responded, ‘Actually, honey, I got up early this morning and washed the window.’

And so it is with life—what we see when watching others depends on the window through which we look. Washing our own windows from time to time changes our perspective.  (©Copyright WisdomShare — All Rights Reserved)

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Posted in Daily, Life, Personal Musings, poetry, Reflections

Through the Aftermath

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” Henry Ford

The ordeal of getting involved in the wrong is horrible. Speaking for those who face it on a daily basis or see violence from a professional view point, in the health sector where people come beaten, injured or batter to the emergency room, the police who has to assess the horrible crime scene, the rape victim and their family of loved ones who have to collectively face the ordeal of coming out of their nightmare, the court which handles gross unjust cases or event he teachers at school who have to tackle he silent bullying in a very subtle way. Above all, all those who return from war, tying to make sense of the entire event, what had be done and the impact. The after effect is more mind numbing than the event itself. Each and similar situation to the lines above, reflects a little of the post traumatic stress that one goes through. Whether it be profession related, the inner mental trauma or the ongoing social, verbal or physical violence that one has to endure, witness or handle; the negative side of humanity has a crippling effect long after the actual event has happened.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments
Source:https://vk.com/thesemagicmoments

Coming out of the aftermath is the most difficult part. Facing the stress long after the situation has been done and over, is the most traumatic part. Each one of us have our sets of traumatic moments. The fear of being alone after being mugged or violated, the battle within to come out of the vice of smoking, the handling of daily life after the war or facing school for a bully-victim, all these need one to find their own reserve of courage and strength to brave the situation and face the day. It takes immense will to come out of the quagmire of negative emotions from the past that may bombard one and collapse the day.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'” Eleanor Roosevelt

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Walking through those painful feelings and recollections isn’t done in a huge leap, but in baby steps. Yet once started to cope, one discovers that each one has it within themselves to face the fear and learn to brave the storm. Whether the steps made be big or small ones, those hardly matters more than the fact that one has resolved to move on and address their fears, than dwell in them. We are all survivors in our own way. Finding the light and purpose in life, is what matters the most. Once we draw out the strength and courage hidden deep within, one discovers that life is more beautiful now than before.

“I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.” Louisa May Alcott

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Strength and Courage

It takes strength to be certain,
It takes courage to have doubts.

It takes strength to fit in,
It takes courage to stand out.

It takes strength to share a friend’s pain,
It takes courage to feel your own pain.

It takes strength to hide your own pain,
It takes courage to show it and deal with it.

It takes strength to stand guard,
It takes courage to let down your guard.

It takes strength to conquer,
It takes courage to surrender.

It takes strength to endure abuse,
It takes courage to stop it.

It takes strength to stand alone,
It takes courage to lean on a friend.

It takes strength to love,
It takes courage to beloved.

It takes strength to survive,
It takes courage to live.

Written by David L. Griffith

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings, Stories Around the World

Beyond the Glimpse

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

“Look beneath the surface; let not the several quality of a thing nor its worth escape thee.” Marcus Aurelius

The neighbourhood had seen a new couple settling into their recently bought villa. Like all small town neighbourhood, this one was no different. Next door neighbours had visited the new couple, pleasantries were exchanged and information was relayed on to the rest of the community. With the husband’s regular job being certified at the town hall office; the two of them were enfolded into the community social gatherings. A little later, few neighbours as well as the police had observed that lights were always on at the far east corner of the house at wee hours of the night. Follow this up with a moving van making an appearance on their lawn with no adverts on them. When this instance was observed by many over the next couple of weeks; the curiously, speculation and gossip grew leaps and bounds. Yet no one directly discussed it with them. Finally with the boss of the young man came to know about this, questions were asked. Imagine the local neighbourhood surprise to know that his wife was an upcoming artist with her first gallery viewing to be set up in the state capital shortly. With the curiosity abated, the neighbourhood became quiet again.

“Supposing is good, but finding out is better.” Mark Twain

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The above neighbourhood scenario was from one of my siblings’ account. Neighborhoods like these are quite common, though happening in various degrees or shades. The adult mind tends to speculate, exaggerate and judge a lot. From people to cars, houses, furniture and many more, opinion are tossed around without any prior research or knowledge. Many a time, these opinions are what is taken for the hard truth. Little does one break the “shell of supposed view” to discover the reality hidden beneath. When these myopic view is perpetually transferred to how one views people, then social life becomes difficult. Each person has their own reason or story to say. It is only when the various versions are heard, does the story have a complete ending. Live and let live. Going by the cover of the presumed and assumed, very often hides the exact reality. When the error made is discovered and rectified, it may be too late to set things back on the right track.

“It’s easy to look back and see it, and it’s easy to give the advice. But the sad fact is, most people don’t look beneath the surface until it’s too late.” Wendelin Van Draanen

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A man was exploring caves by the seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay vessels. It was like someone had rolled balls of clay and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn’t look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of the cave with him. As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could. He thought little about it, until he dropped one of the clay balls and it cracked open on a rock. Inside was a beautiful, precious stone! Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay vessels. Each contained a similar treasure. He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left. Then it struck him. He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he had just thrown it away!
Author Unknown

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Posted in Daily, Family and Society, Life, Reflections, Stories Around the World, Work

Of too Bad or Too Good

Posted on by Sugar and Spice..... Among Other Things

It was a beautiful morning and as a large family we were heading out for a weekend getaway few towns away. What was supposed to be a three hour journey became a five hour one; not primarily due to the frequent stops for breakfast or drive breaks but as a courtesy of flat tire, a broken jack and water logged areas on the way. Although the delay was significant, the dark clouds of anger were kept at bay and heavy dose of optimism were sprinkled by both sets of grandparents. Finally on reaching the cabin, contemplating on the events of the morning; endless blame could have been laid on the spouses or nature, unfortunate timing and other equivalent terminology of “bad luck”. Instead problems were tackled as they came along and the mood of the day remained lighthearted.

“Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.” Voltaire

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Looking back on the day-to-day life, there will be countless situations wherein one may encounter negative emotions and minor setbacks, either in the daily routine or when starting off something new. At times, one tends to over-analyze each and every deemed “ill luck” instead of going ahead and taking life as it approaches. Giving unnecessary importance to the emotions of that moment, instead of reacting to them with practicality tends to turn the best moments and right opportunities to missed ones.

“Concern yourself more with accepting responsibility than with assigning blame. Let the possibilities inspire you more than the obstacles discourage you.” Ralph Marston

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Although everything in life that happens has a purpose or meaning; getting trapped by the emotions of event results in far more negative effects than positive ones. Instead as Tao had said, one defines good or bad in relation to how one approaches it. All the unfortunate events have a silver lining, once we remove the black cover covering it. Instead of listening perpetually to the voices around oneself, use the inner voice and optimism to tackle each “unfortunate and lucky” moments that life has in store for each one of us. Each one of us have the sole responsibility of deciding whether to let the ill luck run its course in free fall or face the bad as they come and use it to tackle tomorrow and make the latter better than the yesterday.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Viktor Frankl

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One day while working out in the fields the farmer’s son fell and broke his leg. The villagers came to the farm and said, ‘My, that’s a great misfortune. Your son has broken his leg: now he can’t help you in the fields.’ The farmer said, ‘It is neither a fortune nor a misfortune.’
A day later, the government troops came to the village looking for young men to conscript into the army. They had to leave the boy behind because his leg was broken. Again, the villagers came to the farm and said, ‘My, that’s a great fortune.’ The farmer replied, ‘It is neither a fortune nor a misfortune.’
Then one day the farmer’s only horse jumped the fence and ran away. The villagers came to the farm and said, ‘What a great misfortune that your horse has run away.’ The farmer said, ‘It is neither a fortune nor a misfortune.’ Two or three days later, the horse came back with a dozen wild horses following behind him. The villagers came to him and said, ‘It’s a great fortune that your horse came back with twelve others.’
The farmer replied, ‘It is neither a fortune nor a misfortune.’
As the teaching of the Tao goes, “nothing is long or short, hot or cold, good or bad.”
– Lesson from The TAO TE CHING written by Lao Tzu

“Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home… it’s your responsibility to love it, or change it.” Chuck Palahniuk

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