“Potential is a priceless treasure, like gold. All of us have gold hidden within, but we have to dig to get it out.” Joyce Meyer
Trying to reason with a preschooler or a primary school child isn’t easy. When the word “no” appears in any manner, directly or very subtly, the effect and chaos created is quite remarkable. For instance, telling a toddler to not climb and sit on the table as he may pull the tablecloth and spill the milk may sound like a challenge. After trying to give many more reasons or distractions, the best way out as few of us parents have discovered is the way through. That is, spoil the fun of the climb by lifting him on to the table, distract and then take him to the sturdy outdoor table for a climb. At times, these similar “way out” may be a better alternative than the screaming, mutinous expression and tantrums courtesy of the “essential no’s”.
“To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.” Mary Oliver
One of the innate elements of children is their ability to experiment and do things different. While handling the antics of a toddler, one is reminded of how similar techniques may have to apply while reasoning with adults. Whether they be siblings, extended family, friends, neighbours or even colleagues, motivating or reasoning out with someone involves a wide range of means to get the point across. From scientific reasoning, display of facts to emotional cajoling and threatening ways in order to change of a set thinking or behaviour may be attempted. Some ways may work, other don’t.
“We can see through others only when we can see through ourselves.” Bruce Lee
Among the better ways to incite a change in attitude, behaviour, manners or thoughts; is to stimulate their curiosity, project out the possible sequence of events and excite their sense of accomplishment. The challenge to change is half done when one realizes how important the change is, in order to be a part of something great. To quote the words of Antoine de Saint-Exupery,”If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.” By exploring their dreams, aligning a little bit of it to the bigger goals and stimulating their interest, the potential of what can be achieved when the right changes are made, is immense. When the true and just vision of one person joins with similar dreams of those around him, it isn’t just the society that becomes better but life in general, becomes more beautiful, meaningful and of purpose.
“There is no man living who isn’t capable of doing more than he thinks he can do.” Henry Ford
There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He would not be quiet, no matter what anyone else said or did. Various attempts were made to do something about the child. One person told the boy that he would, if he continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums. This reasoning was too advanced for the child, who was neither a scientist nor a scholar. A second person told him that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be carried out only on special occasions. The third person offered the neighbours plugs for their ears; a fourth gave the boy a book; a fifth gave the neighbours books that described a method of controlling anger through biofeedback; a sixth person gave the boy meditation exercises to make him placid and docile. None of these attempts worked. Eventually, a wise person came along with an effective motivation. He looked at the situation, handed the child a hammer and chisel, and asked, ‘I wonder what is inside the drum?’ No more problem.
-Author Unknown