Month: October 2018

Posted in Family and Society, Photography Art, poetry, Reflections

Trap of the Spider

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“Will you walk into my parlour?” said the Spider to the Fly,
‘Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I’ve a many curious things to show when you are there.”

For those of us who haven’t heard of or read these lines before, these are the opening lines of “The Spider and the Fly” is a poem by Mary Howitt. The poem weaves the tale of the cunning Spider who ensnares the naïve Fly through the use of seduction and flattery. Primarily this poem serves a cautionary tale against those disguise their true purpose and their evil intentions with a heavy dose of flattery and charm.

Why did these lines suddenly surface to memory? Because beyond flattery and charm, these words stipulate of a false offer of help or friendship that is in fact a trap. We meet many kinds of people in our daily walks of life especially at work, at college or university, in schools, soccer practices, local neighbourhood and even at our regular diners, parlours, gym and the market. Some of these passing acquaintances become good friends while others are like ships at the harbour, they dock, load and unload, then leave. Yet in all these interactions, there will be some offers of help which we accept based either on recommendations, favours or past dealings. On the other hand, a great deal of charm and flattery which acts as false balm to the soul wins. Eventually these end up as a trap causing a great deal of harm.

It is in these situations that I am reminded of the scene between the spider and the fly. In real life, to avoid the trap these situations have to be dealt with a great deal of tact and flair. But first, to avoid the trap, trust your gut. The inner voice inside our head, the warning bells in our mind or the queasy uneasy feeling all remind us to watch our back. From then on, it’s a matter of tact and careful untangling of ourselves from the sticky web. Although it looks difficult, there will always be a way out as long as we follow the direction of the light.

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Posted in Family and Society, Life, Personal Musings

Choice of Flight or Fight

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As I was reading the reviews of few movies, many were based on the trope of either the hero or heroine struggling in one town, get their heart broken, dreams smashed and then they pack their bags, finally reinventing themselves in a new place.

This cliché wins the crowd almost all the time. Maybe it’s because it centers on the fact that we can win any struggle by changing our environment, resetting our frame of mind and then give a fresh try. The only catch is that we always believe the guise of being bold to step outside our comfort zone and renew our positive forces is enough to get our dreams going all the time. To an extent this may help. For at times we do need to detach, step outside our regular zone and take a chance for change. Yet this strategy doesn’t always work.

For some, running away from the problems may not work and we are thrown into the state of chaos again. Instead of embracing and dealing with the discomfort and sorting out the mess, we leave falsely believing that doing so will give us the control of calling the shots. But on running away we are adding to an indefinite issue of our emotional mess and trauma. Finally the clutter will seep through every facet of our life, ranging from work to our social and even mental life. As Haruki Murakami quoted, “Distance might not solve anything, no matter how far you run.”

We can’t write a new chapter without completing the old one or closing it with an abrupt finish. If we do so, there is a chance that we will flutter about in the new chapter. This fairy-tale world that we live in for now will be overturned by the baggage of the past and problems or loose ends that were never resolved. Instead we will eventually bleed out at minor scratches. Such an existence will be a terrible one. Eventually the time will come when we lose our roots and forget who we were, to start with.

The art of life rests on our understanding of when to stay and when to leave, of when to fight or when is flight the answer. True that the art does lie in reining our positive energies and our focus, striving to step out of our comfort zone and explore new horizons when required. Yet the art also lies in staying when the initial reaction is to flee and also to focus on what truly matters even if it unsettles us. The primal fear of man is being stuck in a rut of discontent and indecisiveness of whether the right choices were made. Yet all the “ifs” can be fought only if challenge the fear, face it, rise up higher than it and then fight it down. Then the fear will shrink away when it matters. To refuse to run when it really matters and stand our ground will make all the difference in the long run.

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Posted in Christian, Personal Musings, Photography Art, Stories Around the World

The Basket of Apples

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Autumn mornings are the best in October with smell of the crisp rosy apples in the air. With the apple tree in the backyard in full bloom, it is reminiscent of both the harvest and blue skies.

From the initial days, man has always been fascinated with apples. Myths, folklore and feasts have been held in the honor of apples. No Halloween is complete without the traditional game of apple bobbing. From the bedtime tales to children especially the fairy tales of Snow White and The Juniper Tress, to the famous phrase of “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”, apples have been an essential part of the childhood years. As we grow up, the apple tree features in Newtonian physics and then either we become a part of adult world (The Big Apple) or we end up owing an Apple product.

Interestingly although the fruit that Adam and Eve had eaten from the forbidden tree was never named, by popular tradition it is often pictorially represented as an apple. Thus by the Old Testament, the apple stood for the symbol of knowledge, temptation, fall of man and sin. On the other hand artistic renderings portray Christ holding an apple, signifying that the apple is an emblem of the redemption from the fall of man. Whereas in Norse mythology, the apple tree is sacred and is the symbol for rebirth and beauty. The Celtic meaning of the apple tree deals with many things, including wholeness, purity, goodwill, and even motherhood.

For me, the apple tree has been linked to a story I heard during my days in Sunday School. It was based on giving the Lord our apples to let Him shine them. I f you haven’t read or heard of it before, do read on.

A Simple Story of Apples and an Apple Basket

One day an elderly man entered into a hospital. He was grumpy from being on medication and the nurses thought him to be insane, as he yelled for his wife to get the apple basket. By the time they had checked him into his room the nurses were exhausted from the fight he was putting up.
“Sir you have to calm down we are doing everything we can for you” they would try to explain.
“I don’t need your help” the grumpy man would yell “I want my apple basket”. He finally slept. The nurses sighed with relief and talked among themselves whether they should call the hospital psychologist about the old man and his obsession with the apple basket.
As they talked and laughed about the situation the wife came in carrying the basket of apples. They looked kind of stunned as she asked if she could see her husband and deliver his basket. Sure, they agreed as they watched her slip past into his room. Curiosity consumed them over the next few weeks as they tended to the elderly man. He was eaten with cancer and the doctors had given him no hope of survival. He turned out to be a very calm, happy man once he had his basket. His wife, they noticed, would come in with apples and go out with apples and the curiosity grew even more till one nurse couldn’t stand the suspense.
One night as he was nearing the end, the nurse sat down in a chair by the wife.” May I ask why do you have that apple basket? I just don’t understand the significance.”
“I am an apple farmer by trade he sighed. From the time I was 20 till the day I do die I will forever have my apples.” The nurse nodded thinking she understood. He just likes his work, she thought, assured now he was a little bit crazy.
As she started to leave, the old man asked her to sit down. “At age 20 I was saved, I accepted the Lord as my Savior.” Oh no, the nurse thought. Here comes the lecture on religion. The old man continued. “The day I accepted the Lord as my Savior I got this basket, and each time I had a problem or concern that I could not handle, I put an apple in the basket un-shined.”
“Why?” the nurse said shaking her head.
“Because it reminded me to give those problems to the Lord for him to shine. See my basket now,” he stated. “As my problems disappear so do the apples. As I get new problems, ones I cannot handle alone, I put an apple in.”
The humble nurse looked into the basket…only one apple was there……..
With that, he took a big breath and grabbed his wife by the hand and faded into eternal sleep. The wife paused for a moment and got up from her place to take from the basket the last remaining apple. She whispered in his ear that his reward awaits him in heaven.
The nurse stayed still and asked with tears in her eyes, “what do you think his riches will be?” The wife knew what they were, eternal life with Jesus Christ. But she could see the concern and sadness upon the young nurses’ face and handed her the apple and said “the biggest apple pie you can imagine!”
That was the day the young nurse was saved, and from that day on she always had a basket by her bed.

While we may or may not be a fan of apples, the sure thing is that all our problems can’t be solved by us alone. Sometimes we have to hand them over to the Divine Grace for sorting them and help us navigate through choppy waters so that we reach the shore safe and sound.

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Posted in Christian, Daily, Family and Society, Personal Musings

What We Pray For…

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This Sunday morning, after church there was one thought circling in my mind, “What do we usually pray for ?” Each time we pray, besides thanking for the daily Grace, we have a long list of requests. No doubt that God listens to our every request and problems. Solutions to complicated issues and survival through difficult times stems from our inherent faith in His Grace. But at times I feel we ask things in such a way that we don’t realize our requests are selfish and many a time, unreasonable.

What comes to my mind, is this story that I had read previously in one of the newsletters our church subscribes to.

“I asked God to punish my enemy and God told me: “No. He is destined to be your best friend. “

I asked God to grant me patience – and God said to me: “No. Patience is the result of trials. He is not given, he is taught. “

I asked God to take away my pride – and God said to me: “No. Pride is not taken away. They renounce it. “

I asked God to give me happiness – and God said to me: “No. I give blessings, and whether you will be happy depends on you. “

I asked God to save me and my loved ones from pain – and God said to me: “No. We suffer and overcome suffering together. “

I asked God for spiritual growth – but God told me: “No. The Spirit must grow itself, but I will always prompt. “

I asked God to help me love others just as He loves me – and God said: “With joy! Oh, finally you understand what you need to ask “

The Corinthian Love  , true selfless love like God’s love for us (agape) has always been the epitome of the christian concept of love. In the modern times, love has been always an associated concept of relationship between a couple, friends or in a family. Yet love extends beyond that. The love for our fellow beings and country is a part of the concept too. As taught to us in 1 Peter 4:8, “Above all, have fervent love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

For with the Corinthian love; enemies will be forgiven at heart, trials will be lessons, pride is submerged and happiness is found even at low times. By this love, pain and suffering is overcome. Above all, this kind of love teaches us to be the light of His Word in our daily life.

Though in the times that we live, these things are easier said than done. For everyone does live by their own agenda and each one has their own share of troubles. Yet despite all these, once in a while, if we base our actions on the Corinthian love, the peace and the joy we get is worth enduring the battles that life throws us into at any point of time.

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Posted in Christian, Life, Personal Musings, Work

Perception of Being Free

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In the course of the history, one of the concepts which has been largely studied is the concept of freedom. Through time, there has been different dimensions and contexts to freedom. Essentially in philosophical terms, freedom is associated with free will balanced by moral responsibility, not constrained by any undue or unjust means. Yet the term “free will” can be advocated as freedom of thought innate to the human mind engaged at that particular point of time. Yet to the most reasonable person, freedom doesn’t essentially mean to do whatever one wants. Freedom also stands for securing to everyone an equal chance at life and pursuit of happiness.

In reality, there are two concepts to freedom. While negative freedom is about being free of any interference or constraints; positive freedom is being free to self-actualize or being free from internal constraints. It is important to comprehend the distinction between both as they often need to strike a very delicate balance. Through experience we realize that undue disruption and loss of positive momentum can be caused if freedom is misused.

Although the christian freedom is on similar lines, strongly bordering on the sense of moral and social responsibility; it also urges to do good on the widest scale possible with the intent to build up the church and the Word of God. In simple terms, if a man has his heart on the salvation, it make a big impact to regulate his conduct in context of the world. Although there may not be any specific laws or rules to follow in the code of his attire, his entertainments, his work or style of living; if the underlying manner of life is contrary to doing good to glorify The Word of God, then to him that particular manner or behavior is improper. Such a concept of freedom is a better guideline to direct life in this world than would be exact minute positive statutes to regulate everything.

If we go through the verses from 1 Corinthians 10:23-24, “23 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. 24 No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.”

While the original context of the verse was with respect to the limits of Christian Freedom with the way of life, written in the letter to the Corinthians; the underlying message is that the Christian way is not to simply exercise one’s rights. Instead the freedom we attain through Christ should be used to help others and not hurt or bring down the morale of others. However, it doesn’t imply that man is not in any instance to disregard his own welfare, happiness, or salvation nor that man owes no regard or duty to himself or family. Neither does it allow man to neglect his responsibility both to family and himself to advance the welfare of others. It implies that when no direct law or guidelines are laid down, our actions should be governed by the Word of God to show the salvation to others and not to behave for one’s ease or comfort. For on taking care of our fellow beings, the actions we do should bring glory to God’s name. We’ll be able to enjoy the true sense of Christian freedom when we use it not only for our sake, but as an example for cues of conduct to others.

On the other hand, we may not be able to please everyone. Being a doormat is difficult, for by trying to please everyone, we please nobody. However that doesn’t mean to do something we have to impose our decisions or changes on others. It is a very delicate balance to strike between true freedom as well as getting the work done. The Golden Rule which holds true then and even now is,”Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This is a simple rule which can be easily put into practice. It can aid as a balance-wheel in the various actions and plans of our lives. If everyone would adopt this rule, there would be less danger of going wrong and ensure that our lives on this earth would not be in vain.

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Posted in Personal Musings, Photography Art, Random Thoughts, Stories Around the World

Drizzle to Rain

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In the hustle of the morning rush hour on the road, there was a crowd of people on the sidewalk waiting to cross the road. Unfortunately there were not standing anywhere near the zebra crossing. Most of the vehicles sped up even on seeing them standing there to reach before the next traffic light turned red. Yet despite the rush, few of the vehicles did slow down to allow them to pass through. On watching the whole scene from the bus, I was wondering among them might be a few people who would be able to make it to time for work, while others would be able to head home after a long night. Yet come what may, they were able to cross the road because some vehicles had stopped to give a free path.

In the midst of the chaos of the modern life, we often wonder why do something kind and unselfish; as nobody really bothers and we don’t get anything in return. Yet the fact is that one small random kind act will influence somebody who will continue the change and eventually the chain will grow longer and bigger. Then the small difference becomes a momentous change which will affect and benefit a huge cause.

This reminded me of a story I had once read about the boy and the starfish. For those of us who haven’t heard about it, it as follows.

A man walked along the shore and suddenly saw a boy who raised something from the sand and threw it into the sea. The man came closer and saw that the boy was lifting the stars from the sand. They surrounded him from all sides. It seemed that on the sand – millions of sea stars, the shore was literally strewn with them for many kilometers.
“Why are you throwing these starfish into the water?” Asked the man, coming closer.
“If they stay on the shore until tomorrow morning, when the ebb tide begins, they’ll die,” the boy answered, continuing his occupation.
“But that’s just stupid!” Cried the man.
– Look around! There are millions of sea stars here, the shore is just strewn with them. Your attempts will not change anything!
The boy picked up the next starfish, thought for a moment, threw it into the sea and said:
– No, my attempts will change very much … for this star.
Then the man also picked up the star and threw it into the sea. Then one more.
By the night on the beach there were a lot of people, each of whom picked up and threw a star at sea. And when the sun rose, there was not a single soul left on the beach.

Likewise being a part of a bigger community, there is so much that we can do. Organizing small clean up drives in the public park, mowing lawns for the elderly, help in reading sessions in the town library, helping someone to load or carry groceries and so on. The list is endless.

A small act of kindness and goodwill doesn’t take much time or effort on our part. All it requires us is to keep our eyes wide open and be empathetic. While we may not be able to make a huge difference by a small act, it will make a change for one person. While one drop may not alone make an ocean, it contributes to the beginning of more drops and finally the ocean is there. 

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Posted in Daily, Food, Photography Art

Cookie-Art Moments

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Being trapped in the kitchen with a bored toddler in the early evening hours while it’s raining outside and the electricity is out is a very risque situation. Left in the lantern light, one option to put all the excess energy into good use was to bake cookies. Time flew as we started off with the mixing the wheat flour, butter and powdered sugar for the dough. Although halfway through, a bit of the batter was missing with a mischievous grinning kid nowhere to be found. Finally the cookie dough in varied shapes was ready to be baked . As the electricity was still out, I had to improvise and bake the cookies in the pan as the electricity was still out.  On the whole, an hour and half later I had a plate of fresh cookies, a happy toddler drinking his milk and time well spent.

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It’s spontaneous moments like these which make life more fun. Moreover, when our children grow up and leave the nest, it’s memories like these which will hold dear in our hearts. To quote Crystal Woods ,“I want to take all our best moments, put them in a jar, and take them out like cookies and savor each one of them forever.”

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